A/N: Here's the 2nd story in the Grandpa Saga: The Shopping Trip.

Disclaimer: I neither own nor want to own Yu-gi-oh!...just be happy about the story…on we go!

The Shopping Trip

It was another beautiful day in the city of Domino. The sun was shining, a warm breeze stirred the air, the birds were chirping merrily in the trees. Grandpa shuddered in terror and turned away from the window.

After leaving Yugi to clean up the mess downstairs the previous night, Grandpa had decided that he would dedicate today to finding a new bandana to replace the one stolen from him by the birds. He was also out of hair gel.

"Time to go to the store," He said, gathering his courage before slowly making his way to the door and cautiously looking outside. Normally, he would have left the shopping to Yugi, but buying a new bandana was just too important a task to entrust to such a young and foolish boy. He'd have to brave the world and all those weird young people himself. And the birds…

Grandpa shuddered again and peeked outside once more.

'The coast is clear. Not a bird in sight' He thought to himself. Remembering Yugi's warning, he closed the door behind him and quickly shuffled towards the nearest shopping center, losing a slipper along the way.

'Oh well, I can always buy a new one. I can't risk going back to look for it: those birds are still out there'

Grandpa entered the mall at a run, not realizing that the door opened the other way…

"Owww…" Grandpa moaned and collapsed to the ground in a daze.

2 hours later

"Ohh…my head…" Grandpa twitched on the ground, finally recovering from his encounter with the glass door.

"So I was telling Kristi…eww…what is that hideous thing laying in front of the door? Ahhh! It's alive!"

Grandpa stood up, rubbing his head, and looked in the direction of the quickly-disappearing teenage girls.

'What was that about?' He wondered, but then quickly remembered the purpose of his journey: a bandana and hair gel.

After a brief struggle, Grandpa managed to get the door open and finally entered the mall to find himself right in front of a Victoria's Secret store. An inexplicable force drew him toward it until he was plastered against the front window, drooling at the faceless manikins displaying the latest fashion of women's bras and underwear.

"Mmm…these new bras are even more revealing than last season's," Grandpa sighed contentedly. "Too bad I'm banned for life from ever entering a women's lingerie store, after that incident last year…"Grandpa glanced at the Wanted poster with his face on it hanging near the front entrance. "As if it's a crime to ask one of those beautiful young ladies if she needs help trying on the latest in thong underwear!" Grandpa snorted in disdain.

However, Grandpa's reverie was interrupted by the approach of an angry security guard, who pointed at the Wanted poster menacingly.

'Oop, time to go!' Grandpa quickly tottered away toward his favorite beauty salon.

"Now, lets see here, which gel should I get?"

"Excuse me sir, do you need some help finding a barber shop?" Asked a young worker, staring pointedly at Grandpa's hair.

"How about we find a nice, romantic restaurant instead?" Grandpa asked seductively, winking up at the girl.

Before the horrified girl could respond, an eccentric bespectacled redhead of an indefinite age shoved her out of the way with a cry of joy:

"I'd love to go with you, Solomon"

"Uhh…hello Clarissa…maybe some other time, I just remembered that, um…I have to…um…go…um" Grandpa trailed off into silence and looked around helplessly for a way to get out of the mess, "Actually, I need to go buy this bottle of hair gel" He exclaimed gleefully, grabbing the nearest bottle and running to the cash register as fast as his stumpy legs could carry him.

"Are you sure? Wait! I could help you pick out a conditioner to go along! Or I could get you and your adorable grandson discounts on highlights!" Clarissa chased after Grandpa, who flung a hundred dollar bill at the cashier and ran out of the salon, shouting "Keep the change!" over his shoulder.

At the other end of the mall

"I think I've finally lost her" Grandpa sighed, looking cautiously around for Clarissa, but instead noticing that he was right next to 'Handkerchief's and Beyond', of which he was the sole male patron.

"A perfect place to find a new bandana!" He exclaimed before rushing…straight into a glass door.

"Not again…"He moaned.

1 hour later

"I'm developing resistance!" Grandpa said gleefully after recovering from the impact, "Only one hour this time!"

Inside the store, Grandpa noticed that there were only two other customers.

"Hmm…must be a slow day" He said to the assistant who came forward to help him.

"Actually, this is the best we've had all month!" The assistant quipped cheerfully. "Now, what can I do for you, my good man?"

'Finally, a normal young person' Grandpa though to himself, noting the assistant's hot pink bandana and purple overalls. "Yes, I'm looking for a bandana…an orange one" He clarified.

"Orange…hmm…I think we might have one in stock…but it's reserved for a crazy old man who comes in every year and," the assistant paused and glanced at Grandpa in realization, "Oh wait…never mind, I'll go get it." The assistant left quickly.

'What a nice young man, so helpful!' Grandpa thought happily, 'they play such nice music, too' He said, bobbing his head in time with the corny elevator music.

"Ohhh! That one's perfect!" He exclaimed upon seeing the assistant return with an orange bandana identical to the one he had lost.

Grandpa paid for the bandana and skipped merrily out of the mall. Outside, he ripped off the price tag and packaging and hungrily affixed the bandana around his head.

"My precious…"he purred contentedly, "Don't ever leave me again…And to make sure we're together forever, I'll just do this" He said, dripping superglue on the inside of his bandana. "There we go! Now no nasty birdses will ever take you away from me!"

Grandpa skipped home, feeling like he was on top of the world. Just as he reached the Game Shop, he remembered that he needed new slippers.

"Oh well, I've still got these" He said, lifting up a pair of Yugi's boots and pulling them on, "They make me feel so young! And so tall…Hello handsome" He said to his image, twirling before the mirror. "Now, to call up that hot friend of Yugi's: Mai!"

THE END

Hope you enjoyed that. Thanks for reviewing! Yes, Grandpa is a pervert, isn't he? Next time: the date? I hope not…shudders