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Gravitation © Maki Murakami

ANGEL DUST

Chapter 10

   "Black shirt, red shirt," a deep voice tried to decide. A line of shirts were lying on his bed for him to look them over. "Long sleeve, short sleeve," trying to figure out what shirt to wear, he stood only his jeans. His sunglasses, of course, were on his face. Scratching his head, the brown locks of his hair waved up and down in front of his eyes. "This is too confusing," he growled at the attire.

 "Ei-chan," an older woman called, creating an agitated mood in him. "Tatsuha-san is at the door for you, sweetie!"

Eichiro forgot about his never-ending battle for a shirt and left his room to meet up with his friend, walking out of his room and looked over at the door. His mother was so fascinated with Tatsuha that every time he came over, she would talk up a storm about everything that had happened lately or future things she had planned. She never hesitated to listen on what was happening in his life, either. Rather than wanting to know about Eichiro's life, she would always ask him how 'Tatsuha-san was doing' and how he was 'such a nice, young man'.

 "Tatsuha-san, you seem to be getting taller each time I see you!" she cooed sweetly, admiring the height of him. "Have you grown any lately?"

Revealing a small smile, he played along with her sweetness, "Actually, I think I have. Last time I checked, I was 6'0"."

 "That tall?" she could not believe it, her eyes almost popping out her head. "My, you are not far behind your brother." How she knew Yuki, was beyond anyone. She probably read it in one of his books.

Eichiro walked right up to Tatsuha, flashing a friendly smile. "Nice to see you weren't late today," he mocked. Every time Tatsuha was invited to do something with him, he always showed up late somehow.  

 "Nah," Tatsuha said, scanning over his shirtless friend. "I just had to come see you on time, Ei-chan."

Not even liking to hear that annoying pet name his mother gave him when he was two, he glared at Tatsuha menacingly. "Shut up and stop checking me out," he commented uncomfortably, wrapping his arms around his chest and stomach area in pursuit to hide them from his bisexual friend.

 "Oh, you boys," Eichiro's mother laughed full heartedly, seeing their comments as usual, boyish acts. Turning to walk into the next room, she gave a pat to Tatsuha. "You two have fun, and say hi to Miyu-chan for me," she told, walking off.

After hearing her name, Eichiro had to look at Tatsuha's face for any reaction to it. Only meeting up with Tatsuha's eyes, he sighed. "Come on, maybe you can help me pick out a shirt," he said, traveling into his room.

 "I thought you were just walking around the house without a shirt on for kicks," Tatsuha said with disappointment.

Back to where he was, Eichiro started to puzzle over which shirt to wear today. Giggling at Tatsuha's comment, he looked at him through the black lenses, "My mom would kill me, especially when you are the guest. She knew what I was doing, so she bothered not to say something."

 "When I'm the guest?" he asked.

 "Don't act like you are oblivious," he grunted with his nose, "my mother is obsessed with you, man. She is always talking about you and wondering what you are doing. Hell, she would rather want you as a son over me," he said flatly at his last sentence.

Turning his attention to the shirts as well, Tatsuha tried to act as if he did not notice what Eichiro spoke of. He always knew how much his mother liked to talk to him, but he did not know she was obsessed with him. It was a little too much, "Well, doesn't matter," he said, examining the red shirt he put out, "I don't go for older people. Not exactly my type."

 "Yeah, I know," he lied. Knowing Tatsuha had just lied to him, he wanted to pull out the magazine he stole from Miyu and stuff the picture of Ryuichi in his face, asking for answers. Instead, he took a much slower approach, "I finally watched the Nittle Grasper video you let me borrow," he informed him. "I was so bored yesterday and I remembered how much you begged me to just watch it. So, I watched the damn thing."

Watching Eichiro with full content now, Tatsuha was curious of what he thought of the Nittle Grasper concert video, "Did you like it?"

 "I like the name of the band," he grinned and pulled out the DVD case from underneath his bed. Why it was there made Tatsuha give him awkward looks, but took it from his hands no less. "I never knew that band was so good," he started, his eyes full of determination behind the sunglasses. "That vocalist… he's amazing."

Tatsuha's face was in complete shock and surprise, as if he wanted to jump up and down in his very spot. Someone else other than a girl thought Sakuma Ryuichi was amazing and that meant everything to him. Rubbing the case against his cheek, he purred, "I know! Sakuma Ryuichi is so great, isn't he? Personally, I think he is the best looking member of the whole band, sexy beyond compare."

 "Oh?" Eichiro questioned, grabbing the red shirt and slid it over him. "Isn't he like, thirty-two? I thought you did not go for older people, Tatsuha. My mother is thirty-six, or are you just saying my mom looks old?" he asked, a bit of hate rolling off his tongue.

Quitting his luxury of rubbing his face against the very image of Ryuichi, his eyes darted at his friend, "What are you getting at?" he asked, his voice surprisingly had turned into a much more deeper tone than when he was squealing about Ryuichi.

 "Nothing!" Eichiro laughed, showing off his perfect teeth with a rather large smile. "Besides, I think this Sakuma Ryuichi is pretty nice looking, too."

For awhile longer, Eichiro still had to pretend as if he did not know anything about him and Ryuichi. If Tatsuha would to find out now, the plan would only be ruined.

___________________

 "This is not going to work," Tohma slapped down some papers on his desk. Turning in his chair, he looked out the window from NG Studios, rubbing his temples soothingly.

Ryuichi rolled his eyes for about the fifth time of Tohma telling him that, "What do you mean?" he had to shout this time, rushing up to the desk and looking over his lyrics Tohma just declined. "What is wrong with my lyrics?"

 "We can't be having such dull lyrics, Ryuichi." Tohma explained, turning around to point out his various mistakes on the sheet of paper. "Many people won't be appealed to what you are trying to say here, and the beat would not be good throughout this entire song except for these three verses," picking up the stack of papers, he shifted them into a perfect order.

Grabbing the lyrics he desperately worked hard on from Tohma's hands, he searched through them. "Why should it matter if it appeals to the fans? The point of me writing lyrics is to write down how I feel, and if the fans don't like it, they can eat it!"
 "Someone is in a bad mood," Noriko commented dryly to Ryuichi, painting her fingernails a bright pink. Blowing slightly on them to dry, she leaned back in the lather chair. "Must be some personal writing for you to act this way."

Rolling a pencil in his palms, Tohma scanned through the lyrics once more. "The point is: the lyrics are hard to understand, meaning the listeners won't be interested because they do not get it. You need to write lyrics that they can relate to."

 "There are millions of people who relate to what I am trying to say in these," Ryuichi started to pout after his arguing did not get through to him, hugging one of the lyric papers.

The smell of fingernail polish was starting to get a little nauseating and it was not before long that Noriko closed it, put it up, and started to wave her hands. "Two dollars that I know who the lyrics are about," she betted sternly.

 "Noriko-chan," Ryuichi warned, knowing that she probably was right. After all, she had encountered him and Tatsuha getting friendly on many occasions before. Knowing he would never get passed Tohma's decision, he let out a sigh. "Fine, I'll redo everything."

 "You do not have to redo everything," there seemed to be no way getting through to Ryuichi. "You just need to make so adjustments."

Taking the lyrics in his small hands, Ryuichi curled his fingers, scrunching the work he had done into a paper ball. It almost hurt as he done so, but he threw it away carelessly. Doing new lyrics might be for the better, anyways.

 "I'm… going home," Ryuichi hardly even said aloud, walking out of the office with slow steps.

Both Noriko and Tohma watched him as he exited and shut the door behind him. "Tohma," Noriko was starting to feel sorry for him, "don't you think you should have let him keep the lyrics?"

 "I would and you know that," Tohma sighed. "However, we cannot just slap up every song he writes. If we did that, we would not be as popular as we are now."

Propelling her legs up, she laid her feet down on the seat, placing her chin on her knees. "It's obvious he has strong feelings for him," she thought out loud.

 "I know," Tohma put on a sober face, thinking it was not a good thing. "It is so… indecent."

Noriko just gave him a look as if he had a lot of room to talk about being 'indecent' with feelings for someone.

_____________________

 "Hey, guys!" Miyu shouted from the park, the exact place Eichiro and Tatsuha promised to meet her. She had already gone a couple minutes early and sat around but once she saw the two of them, she started to shout for them in high spirits. Waving her arms around, you could almost feel the whirlwind she was creating.

Pausing for a split second, Tatsuha had a bad feeling about going over to even see Miyu. The only thing that would be brought up his arguments between them. "Shit," he hissed, thinking this was a bad idea after all.

 "Get over it," Eichiro comforted. He had a sixth sense when it came to what Tatsuha was thinking, or maybe it was just because he knew him too much. Averting his attention to Miyu, he smiled and waved back at her, "Yo!"

Hopping from enthusiasm, Miyu gave an even wider smile once they finally reach to her. "Hi, Eichiro," she winked at the sun glassed boy, giving him a message just by doing so. "Hi Tatsuha-kun," she said to her fiancée, latching herself onto his arm giddily.

 "Stop it," Tatsuha groaned. Being in public was the worst with Miyu, seeing as she always wanted to be a little too close with him. Eichiro, on the other hand, thought the whole scenario was funny.

Purring and cuddling against his soft arm, she looked up at him. "Listen, let's put everything behind us. We were both acting pretty immature about all of this, especially me."

 "Really?"

 "I am serious," she responded, a twinkle in her eyes. "However, we are still engaged. I just want to end all of this stupid fighting."

Somehow, Tatsuha did not like the news anymore. He would much rather argue with her twenty-four seven than still be engaged to her. Nothing would turn out right. Grinding his teeth, he was ready to start an argument right then and there until a hand covered his mouth.

 "Down tiger," Eichiro chuckled, holding him back. Being the one to break up fights all the time sure would be tiresome. Letting Tatsuha go after he had settled down, he pointed into the direction of the most colorful city of Tokyo, "We are going to Shinjuku."

Miyu squealed with delight. She had always loved going to Shinjuku to just go and shop for hours. Tatsuha never really seemed interested in the whole place, except going there to the gaming centers.

 "Let's hit the train," Tatsuha led them as they traveled to the train near by.

Watching Eichiro lift himself into the contraption full of people, Miyu scurried over to him. "Hey, you are still going through with it, aren't you?"

 "Oh man," Eichiro was tongue-tied, looking over at Tatsuha was his first reaction. Thankfully he was not even paying attention and he leaned down to Miyu, "yeah, I am. I do too much for you, girl."

Watching the assortments of gray buildings and crowds of people from the glass window, Tatsuha wished he had not even left Ryuichi's house today. Sure, being around Eichiro was a good thing but just knowing Miyu was around made the atmosphere unsettling. Although she had voluntarily asked to quit their idiotic quarrels and start anew, he still had a bad feeling even around her. Maybe it was just him.

 Passing into Ikebukuro, he knew that Shinjuku was only eight more minutes away. To him, it seemed like a good hour.

 "Hot Men's Book!" Eichiro was already satisfied with their trip to Shinjuku, running over to the fashionable, red doors. Drooling at the very sight, he did not want to leave.

Tatsuha and Miyu only gave him a disgusted look, although Tatsuha wanted to do the exact thing he was doing to the place. "It doesn't open until night," Tatsuha pointed out as if he had been there before.

 "I know," Eichiro felt insulted. He had his share of rounds going to the famous place himself, "we may just stop by here again."

Miyu instantly tugged on his ear, "I don't think so! I am the only girl here and I would rather stay away from there," she ignored the constant whimpering from Eichiro and they continued their walk.

 "Fine," Eichiro slumped his shoulders but was instantly more interested in the schoolgirls parading about. "It's not the Hot Men's Book, but it is good enough!" catching his breath, he watched as a group of high school girls giggled, their skirts twirling from the slight breeze and their movement. Never had he seen Tokyo high school girls before and they were mighty delicate and their skirts much shorter. "Sweet, sweet women!" he cooed, getting attention of both Tatsuha and Miyu.

Miyu rolled her eyes instantly, "Oh my god," she growled. Everywhere they went; Eichiro was gaping at every woman he could see. She was surprised however, to see Tatsuha not pay any heed to the women around him. It was almost scary.

 "They just looked at me!" Eichiro's face went crimson, and put on a goofy smile. "I think they saw me looking at them."
Not amused, Tatsuha looked over at the giggling girls. It seemed as if they were looking straight at Eichiro. "Yeah, but only one problem," he grinned, pointing at Eichiro's face. "They would not know if you were looking at them, seeing as you always wear sunglasses."

 "Shut up!" Eichiro growled, making sure not to look too beastly in front of the schoolgirls. "I think I am going to talk to them," he gulped, gathering his courage.

 "Watch out, bastard!" a boy in school uniform snapped at Eichiro, purposely slamming his shoulder into him. Almost falling to the ground, Eichiro watched as a group of schoolboys walked past him and over to the very girls he thought were gazing at him. Sunglasses practically falling off, his green eyes were visible and the very shock was seen in them.

 "Tough break," Tatsuha patted him on the back, "seems as if they were looking at their boyfriends."

This time, Miyu felt a little bad for Eichiro. He had always wanted a girlfriend in the past but could never swoon one good enough to achieve his dream. "Yeah, this kind of thing always happens. Those guys were ugly anyways, you are much better looking!"

 "Amori-chan?" he looked up at the smiling brunette, feeling his heart beat faster. Grabbing her small hand, he looked at her sincerely, "will you go out with me?"

 "What!?" Tatsuha and Miyu said in unison, baffled.

For an odd reason, something triggered off in Tatsuha. His head suddenly went steaming hot and his hands acted on his own, grabbing Eichiro by the collar, "who said you could ask her such a thing!?"
 "Eichiro," she said nervously, not expecting such a question from Eichiro. "You know I don't feel that way about you. You are a nice guy and all, but I can't."

Feeling like a total idiot, Eichiro blushed immensely and felt the instant urge to hide his head inside his shirt like a turtle, even if Tatsuha was still holding onto his collar like a ravaged beast. "I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling Tatsuha's grip loosen and let him go. "I don't know why I said that," he rubbed the back of his head, not daring to look up from the sidewalk.

 'Why... did I just do that?' it was obvious Tatsuha had more on his mind. Looking at his palms, he thought of how he had just acted to Eichiro's question to Miyu. Out of all people, he got mad because he asked Miyu out? What the hell was wrong with him? Was his mind in the wrong place and he heard him say something completely different? Tracking along with them around Shinjuku, he pondered. He did not hate Miyu, but he did not like her in the way to be jealous or protective. He should careless if she dated someone; actually, he should be delighted to get her off his back! However, he did not like Eichiro saying such a thing.

 Why? Had he gotten so used to Miyu's constant 'I love you's that he felt some sort of ownership? All of this thinking made the front side of his head pound.

"Fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me," Tatsuha leaned back in his chair. The three of them had reached the nearest restaurant. It was full of the color red and black and J-rock music was blaring loud enough to make anyone's ears pop. Luckily, they sat nowhere near the large speakers. Miyu had left due for the need to use the restroom and gave Tatsuha the perfect moment to talk to Eichiro.

Dipping some of his french-fries into ketchup, he did not really seem to have a desire to answer. "Oh?"

 "How I acted when you asked Miyu out," he made him remember, causing him to blush suddenly. It was a sure sign that that was the only thing Eichiro did not want to talk about. "I feel like such a hypocrite or something."

 "It's not big deal," Eichiro munched down some of the fries, going back for more. "You are just having a complex. You know how a guy will put up with a girl who has a major crush on him, but he has no feelings for her at all? Well, after so many months or so of constant flirting and shit from the girl, the guy will grow some kind of  attachment to it and feel like he should be the only one to have her. Don't worry," slurping from the small straw, he eyed Tatsuha casually.

 "But I don't want her," he whimpered, making sure she was still out of sight.

Stealing some fries from Tatsuha's meal, he rolled his eyes. "I know, I am just giving an example," twisting around the food, he found a good opportunity, and "so, who do you like?"

 "Who..?" Tatsuha blushed, taking his eyes off Eichiro and practically slamming his entire face into his food. He couldn't just tell Eichiro he was in love with Ryuichi; he would laugh and tell Miyu. "No one," he lied.

 "I think otherwise."

His voice seemed to drift to a much more serious tone, causing Tatsuha to look up at him with curious eyes. Eichiro had his arms folded against his chest, and even though you could not see his eyes through his sunglasses, you could sense the flames they were setting off. "Eichiro?" Tatsuha questioned suspiciously, giving him an equally serious look.

 "Tatsuha," he leaned in closer, head above the table and looking him straight in the eyes. Both of them were sending suspicious messages to one another with eyes only. Eyes closed, he grabbed the sunglasses he always wore and took them off, shaking his eyes and opening his eyes. The mystical green color stared at Tatsuha intently, "Do you like me?"

Jumping far back in his seat, Tatsuha swore that he could have almost had a heart attack right there. What was with Eichiro? First, it was Miyu and now, him. "Are you just being a jackass today or something?"

 "I'm back," Miyu announced as she sat down at the table, not even noticing the looks the two boys were giving each other. Eichiro seemed rather serious, while Tatsuha just seemed scared as hell. "Eichiro," Miyu grabbed a nikuman between her chopsticks, "sit down."

 It did not take long for the sun to settle beyond the tall skyscrapers and leave the city of Tokyo in darkness, only the thousands of lights to shine the city. Shinjuku was the prize of the night in Tokyo, the buildings fueled with lights from build boards and signs, many in which would contain a pattern of moving lights. Colors of red, yellow, blue, green and many others flashed around the city amongst the shining of headlights.

 "Shinjuku is so pretty at night," Miyu admired the abundant colors, feeling as if she was in the presence of something godly.

Scanning his surroundings, Tatsuha could instantly spot out the thousands of walking people, "Yeah, but the city itself is not so pretty, and the people make it horrible."

 "Whores, drug dealers, murderers, and strip clubs," Eichiro listed down the few horrible things around the city, "sounds like a perfect trip away from boring, old Kyoto!"

Enjoying every minute with her two best friends, Miyu walked a little closer to the both of them but was instantly repelled away, holding her nose. "Eichiro, you seriously need to shower!"

 "That's the both of us," Tatsuha smiled, the sweat glistening from their foreheads were pure evidence. "Eichiro just had to challenge me to a Dance Dance Revolution tournament at the arcade, so I gave him what for."

Smelling to see if he really was that bad as Miyu acted, he gave Tatsuha a competitive look, "Bullshit, I beat you to the ground!"

 "You wish, you slipped about five times!"
 "Hey, at least I wasn't the one asking for 'time outs' all the time."

 "You were the one asking for time outs, dumb ass."

Shaking her head at their stupid argument, Miyu figured it would have been a lot better if she had not even mentioned anything, ignoring the sweat smell all together. Hearing the distant echoes of a familiar tune, Miyu stopped in her tracks and turned to look to the side. A rather large music shop had its doors open and lights on. Teenagers dominated the store, grabbing the latest CDs of their favorite artists while others sampled out the soundtracks, listening to a few songs with the headphones. One schoolgirl was tapping her foot and swaying to the rhythm of a Nittle Grasper song, holding one of their CDs. Even wearing headphones you could still hear Ryuichi's singing voice.

 The very voice made Tatsuha stop as well, and just wanting to fit in, Eichiro stopped as well. Just to hear his voice made Tatsuha more nostalgic about Ryuichi, even if it was from a CD and not the real thing. 'I wonder what he is doing right now,' he thought, thinking of all the things he may be doing right now.

 'Sakuma Ryuichi,' Miyu grew furious as she looked at the Nittle Grasper poster posted up on the store window, Ryuichi the main subject of it. Her fingernails were squeezing into her palms from fury, almost enough to make the bleed. 'You are not going to have my fiancée.' Taking one look at Tatsuha's dazed state from even hearing Ryuichi made her jolt over, "Let's go home," she said, trying to hide any anger at all.

 "Yeah," Tatsuha said soon after, following behind to try and still listen to the song from a long distance.

 "Hey, wait! What about the Hot Men's Club!?"

____________________

 "Aren't you glad?" Eichiro asked Tatsuha, the two of them walking down a quiet street of Tokyo. The street lights sent out a small buzzing noise but gave them enough light to see each other's faces. "Miyu asked me to walk you to your brother's while she went back to Kyoto. That way, she won't have to give you goodbye kisses," he laughed.

Ignoring Eichiro's comment, Tatsuha could only think of how he was going to get to Ryuichi's with Eichiro in suit. Knowing his brother would not welcome him with open arms, he would have to go to Ryuichi's house with his friend either way. "I am staying at a friend's house," he lied to him, hoping he would fall for it. "We need to go there," he felt his heart beat speed up in doubt he would not believe him.

 "Okay," he said, just agreeing because of the plan Miyu had told him. In all truth, he was the one who had been lying the whole day to him.

The entire street in Tatsuha's memory, he knew exactly which house was Ryuichi's, "right here," he pointed to the two story house to the right and headed for it. Listening Eichiro's distant footsteps from behind, he could not believe he was following him!

 "He will probably go to Sakuma Ryuichi's house," Miyu had told Eichiro exactly what to do. "Follow him all the way up there."

Reaching the door, Tatsuha started to knock. His eyes never drifted away from Eichiro and he started to feel a lot more nervous than usual. What would he say once Ryuichi opened the very door he was knocking on? This was bad, so bad.

 "Yes?" the door opened, Ryuichi standing there in his pajamas. Even with enough light to see them, he could not see the blushing faces from both men once they saw him. "Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi squealed at the sight of his friend, eyes sparkling from excitement. He had earnestly waited for his return and really seemed to pay off.

His worries about Eichiro finally faded once he saw Ryuichi smiling hugely just because he saw him, and it all made it worthwhile. Giving Ryuichi a loving smile, he replied, "I'm back."

 "I better get going," Eichiro said, acting as if he did not even notice who the man at the door was.  "Bye Tatsuha," starting to walk away, he stopped once he remembered the plan Miyu had devised.

 "Then, right before you go, you have to do something that will make Ryuichi never have feelings for him. Do something so that Ryuichi will think Tatsuha is just using him as he does every other woman he goes with. You have to kiss him."

"Oh yeah, Tatsuha," he sighed. He knew this would not only make their friendship awkward but it would destroy it. However, he had to do this for Miyu. Turning back around to face them, he was ready to plant a long kiss on Tatsuha. Once he saw Tatsuha standing there smiling, his arms wrapped around Ryuichi and the vocalist smiling just as bright as he was... he could not do it. Never had he seen Tatsuha as happy with someone as he was like this and it made Miyu's plan seem so heartless. To break Tatsuha from the happiness he and Ryuichi were having together would have been almost inhumane. Sweat dripping from his bangs, he felt like a total asshole.

 "Yeah?" Tatsuha looked up at him, Ryuichi rubbing his cheeks into Tatsuha's torso.

 "See you at school," Eichiro finished before dashing off.

Finding the nearest bench he could find, he sat down and sighed to himself. "I could not even break some damn, little 'Boy Scout' code with Tatsuha. He just seemed so happy with that guy," thinking back to the scene of the two of them, he could not help but smile. "Lucky guy. I sure am glad I didn't kiss him. I do not want my first kiss to be with a guy."

________________________

 "Did you have fun?" Ryuichi jumped up and down, following Tatsuha around the house. He went to his usual destinations: kitchen and to the couch. Tatsuha had been gone for about the whole day and Ryuichi sure missed him.

Taking a large swig out of some orange juice, Tatsuha planted down on his favorite couch, "Yeah, I did. I beat Eichiro at many games in the arcade," he boasted.

 "Eichiro? Was that the guy you came back with?" clutching to Kumagorou tightly, he was interested in everything he had to say.

Surprised that he was intently interested in everything he was doing while away, Tatsuha ruffled Ryuichi's hair playfully. "Yeah, he is a good friend of mine. Sucks at DDR, though."

Clutching to Kumagorou tightly, he watched Tatsuha make a courageous move by pulling out a cigarette and lighting in. He probably did not even think about it, but Ryuichi was not even bothered this time around. "I'm glad you're back, I missed you." he said in a straightforward fashion.

"Me too," he replied in the same manner, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

Wanting to say anything to start a conversation, Ryuichi put on an annoyed face, "Tohma told me to do my lyrics over today," he pouted.

 "Really?" Tatsuha asked, appalled. "You've been working for ever on lyrics, haven't you?"

 "Yes!"

Scooting the black ashtray closer to him, he flicked the pieces of drying cigarette into the bowl. "Tohma just has bad taste sometimes. Look who he is married to," he giggled.

 "How brotherly of you," Ryuichi mocked him playfully.

Batting his feet together, he managed to slid his shoes off and swing his legs onto the couch in barely a minute, sighing of exhaustion. Listening to the buzzing noise of silence, he could only wait for him or Ryuichi to say something. "I'm tired," he was the one to say something and he had said something wrong.

 "Oh," he heard him respond in a quiet voice, almost as if he has been insulted. It was a little rude for Tatsuha to say something like that, making it sound like he wanted Ryuichi to get away from him. However, he had been out all day and needed rest. Rising up, he tracked along the floor. "I'm going to bed, too. Good night Tatsuha-kun," he blew him a cute, little kiss as if he was three and ran up the stairs.

 "Night," Tatsuha replied a little too late. Contemplating on why he had said that to him, he knew he should have talked to him awhile longer. They hardly saw each other as it is and this made things even colder between them. "I always fuck things up," slapping his forehead, what he spoke of was fact. He always seemed to turn Ryuichi down in some kind of shape or form. "I am not going to do it again," he growled, jumping to his feet and walking up the stairs in a determined fashion. Walking to the door, he tried to make no sound at all to starter Ryuichi, just incase he was asleep. Pressing his ear against the door, he could faintly hear Ryuichi talking to someone. Whoever it was, they were not responding. Taking the tips of his fingers, he pressed the door open slightly enough to look in.

 Ryuichi was sitting on his bed, face turned to the door, and his face buried in the pink bunny. "I don't know what to do Kumagorou," he whispered under a strained breath. His arms tightened around Kumagorou for a closer hug, holding back many emotions from the stuffed animal. His body shaking, he brought up his head a little to look at Kumagorou in the eyes, "What should I say? I..." slipping from his arms, Kumagorou smashed against the bed. His hands traversing to his face, Ryuichi covered his eyes. His stomach started to hurt from his bended state and his mind was boggling. Whimpering and small gasps of breath were good enough evidence that he was indeed, crying. Rubbing his upper legs together, he inhaled a large amount of breath and released what he wanted to confess

 "Kumagorou, I love him..." throwing himself forward onto the bed, his face met with the covers. Crying silently, his body rising up and down, Tatsuha still stood and watched him, surprised at what he had just heard.

 'It can't be me," he thought. He wanted to believe that Ryuichi was talking about him, and yet he doubted its very essence. Taking a small step back, hoping to just walk away was enough to make the floor creak a loud, obnoxious sound. Freezing up, he knew he would be caught. Watching Ryuichi freeze just as he had done, he knew an argument or awkward silence would ensue.

Turning around quickly, Ryuichi's hair danced across the breeze. Small, wet drops of tears gained flight from the sudden dynamic and stained the carpet. Almost as surprised as Tatsuha, Ryuichi was more embarrassed. Even if embarrassed, the feeling of sadness was much more dominant amongst his eyes. Knowing Tatsuha just heard what he had just said, Ryuichi started to blubber harder even though he was trying to hold it all back from him.

 "I'm sorry," was the only thing Tatsuha could muster for eavesdropping. "I didn't mean to overhear, I just wanted to tal-"

 "Do you think that I am a bad person?" Ryuichi interrupted his foolish forgiveness and going into deeper waters. Biting his lower lip, he could not even stand the sight of Tatsuha at the moment.

Baffled, Tatsuha decided to not run away from any of this and walked into the room. "Bad person?" he echoed. He could feel his heart beating faster in his chest, and his fingers were twitching out of control.

 "That I love you," Ryuichi said as if he thought he had not heard him at all. Taking hold of Kumagorou's red bowtie, he tossed the pink bunny with devil's force. His stuffed toy hit the wall with a thud before falling to the floor, legs in the air. "I love a seventeen year old!!" he screamed, tears dripping from his eyes like a leaky faucet. Convinced that he was a bad person, he could barely even touch himself without pulling back.

Tatsuha felt as if he has just been beaten. Beaten hard. Never did he think Ryuichi would think much of his age, but now he was being based on it because the man loved him. 'I don't know what to say,' Tatsuha puzzled, wanting to fall to his very knees. Ryuichi was not a bad person, he knew he wasn't. But what are the good things about being in love with a man fifteen years younger than you? How can you be a good person when doing illegal acts, all while knowing so? Although it crushed him to realize it, Ryuichi was partially right about it.

 "I don't think you're a bad person," Tatsuha chocked back a few tears. Truthfully, he thought Ryuichi was the most wonderful man he had ever met, how in the world could he be a bad person to him? Wanting to hug Ryuichi, he carefully proceeded to the bed and stopping before he could touch to mattress.

Scooting away, Ryuichi could not bare to be touched at his current state of mind. "But I am a bad person!"
 "Only if you think you are a bad person," Tatsuha let a shout roll from his tongue, pounding his fist on the bed. Standing up straight, he felt sorry for his sudden outburst once he saw Ryuichi's stunned eyes and trembling body. "It's true that people will think you are wrong for loving someone of my age, and it's true that it may be wrong. However, it is only completely and fully wrong if you too think it is. Being in love, being happy... how is that wrong? Loving someone is not a crime; people just make it that way. People make you the 'bad person' by seeing something they disagree with, but if someone can have revering feelings for someone unconditionally while knowing the consequences… that person is not a bad person. They are just a lot more loving and dedicated than most people."

Hiccupping behind closed lips, Ryuichi still had tears forming in his eyes. Whether he agreed or not with what Tatsuha had just preached about, he sure got a reaction out of Ryuichi. "I don't think it is wrong necessarily," he cried.

 "Then it isn't," Tatsuha smiled sweetly, settling himself down on the bed, not getting too close. "Who cares what people think? If you are happy, then none of that should matter. I understand you are scared because this is all so new, don't worry, I've been there."

Not wanting to look like a complete fool, Ryuichi wiped away a few tears with his sleeve and look at him with wonder in his eyes, "Really?"

 "Of course," Tatsuha made it sound so obvious. "Classmates always made fun of me when I liked people older than me, but this is just who I am. I can't just like who they want me to like." Laughing slightly on his statement, he could just image if that were true. Eichiro would be setting him on dates with four women a day from Playboy.

Something in Ryuichi's eyes told Tatsuha that he was happy. It was a very small signal, but it was there. His eyes just seemed to get a lot brighter after Tatsuha had consoled him and a smile would faintly appear on his smooth, feminine face. It may not have been that big of a small as he usually has, but it was a lot stronger than most. Laughing at Tatsuha's stories and silly movements he made with his hands while doing so, Ryuichi knew in his heart that he loved the boy. Every moment he spent just talking, standing next to the boy was the most enjoyable experience he had ever had. He did not know if feeling this way for him and knowing the 'consequences' made him a lot more loving or dedicated, but he did know it made him alive.

 "Tatsuha," he chirped, getting attention of the boy frolicking around the room, practically dancing with Kumagorou just because of his storytelling.

His ongoing mouth came to a halt and his blinked twice before looking at Ryuichi. "Yeah?"

 "I love you," he told him with his face crimson then gave him a genuine smile.

Smiling back, Tatsuha felt a large piece of acceptance spread open inside of him. Butterflies were going rampant in his stomach except he actually was enjoying it this time. "I love you too," he answered back, unknowing of the blush covering his face, "Ryuichi."

 END Chapter 10

 It's so short this time around and I apologize. It took ten chapters for them to actually 'get together'.  Once again, I do not like this chapter. I need to make a good one. .

 About Eichiro: What can we say about the dear soul? Well, let's just say he and I are very much… alike. I never meant it to be that way, but it seems me and Eichiro are very similar. Our mothers... are just alike. How we act seems to be the same as well. Good old' Ei-chan, I love you!

Now, reviews! (I want more.)

Nittle Grasper Wonder: Thank you so much, even though you make it sound like I am new father or something. Heh, I hope you like where they got in this chapter. *winks*

Zufu-chan: Umm.. *grabs Pocky* Thanks for the compliment.

PikuPiku: I love how people make Miyu seem like an evil sorceress plotting something. =P Eichiro is not really against Tatsuha, but merely wanting Miyu to be happy or something. He has a crush on her.. I think. You liked the intimate things, eh?

Cherry-Wolf: Lemon-scented? Rofl! This one was grape if you are wondering. About the ten year old: that is pretty funny. It is a little bit of how I see FF.Net's rules around here. I am glad to see you have found interest in Eichiro and there was a lot more of him in this chapter for fan girls, like you, to love! How you said about Miyu is totally right and I never even thought about it that way. My reviewers are smarter than me... gezz. I am in a relationship! Sorry girls, you can't have a piece of this bisexual, Gravi loving, sexy man! =D

Queen of Vegetasei: *cuts off the touching, reunited music* Wow… you made me feel bad. Lol, your review made me curl in a corner for a minute. Literally, this is the first review like this, but I appreciate it! Also, the time frame is probably a little bit after the tenth volume. K was there at the cooking show, but they have never communicated before. Tatsuha forgets people pretty easily, even if they saw him at Tohma and Mika's wedding. I thought maybe K with Tatsuha would be a cute notch. I did do K's English speech.. In the manga, he just goes and speaks English perfectly; it is just the anime seiyuu who have a hard time saying it in English, Lol! Thanks for the tips, because in many things, I did not notice. And I am left-handed to your pervy comment! Heh, actually I was doing a report so I rushed. About Miyu, yeah.. Girls are like that. They can put up this mask then go to a completely different mood…. No offense women! Tatsuha's monk comment? Hmm... he does do that in the story, but I think Ryuichi wants for him to get money. =P  Everyone loves Eichiro, he is just the shit! My fanfic is a soap opera? Umm "Days of Our Lives"… GRAVI STYLE!

Woodsie: People are poking at my mistakes today… this is strange. Actually, I enjoy it. About Miyu, you have to love her! Come on, think if you were in her position then you would love her!

Malik Ishtal0607: Someone actually upset about it! Heh.

Beachan18: Spawn of Satan? I love it! Heh, my reviewers are so funneh! Ryuichi getting jealous: I have seriously been thinking about this for a long time now and it just may happen!

 I am sorry because a lot of my reviews were lost because of FanFiction's updates and everything, so just review for this chapter if you did not make it for the ninth!