ANGEL DUST
Chapter 13
"Have you two finally settled things?" the bald man asked, his voice sounding a lot raspier than what it usually was. His monk garments were lying on the floor because of his sitting position, curling over fabric on fabric. His wrinkled eyes did not wander far until he could see Tatsuha in a good viewing angle. The tall boy was too wearing his monk attire yet paid no real heed to the endless praying he had to endure at his house. Shrugging with little concern, he muttered quietly.
"I guess so," it was so obvious who his father spoke of that he did not even need to ask. Hand covering his mouth, Tatsuha almost whimpered out what he said next. "She gave me… something yesterday."
The very look on his father's face almost made it seem like he knew what she had given him, as if he was in on it. "I see," he coughed. "Miyu-san had informed me about a week ago that she was going to give you her ribbon. In a way, I am kind of disappointed in you."
Jerking up quickly, Tatsuha blinked three times before even realizing what his father had just said. Never in his life had he said such a thing to him, and the only child he would say so to was Eiri. "Why?"
"I see it as Miyu-san's gain and your loss," wrapping his fingers around his small teacup, the elder monk looked at Tatsuha in the most serious way possible. "I do not hate you for what kind of lifestyle you choose, Tatsuha. However, becoming your disrespectful brother will cause a horrid distaste in my mouth."
"Is that how you see me?" Tatsuha's mouth was agape, "as some kind of carbon copy of my brother? You are just afraid that I will somehow morph into him, and leave you here by yourself, don't your father?"
The hot tea rippled once his father placed it down on the table, steam igniting into the air. The monk raised his arm to swing it back down, slapping Tatsuha across the face. "How dare you, Tatsuha! To speak so to me, you might as well be a carbon copy of Eiri. You think so down on me when all I want is for you to not become some damn lowlife such as your brother."
"Shit," Tatsuha cursed, holding on tight to the cheek his father's stern hand met with. He could feel some tears build up in his eyes, but he just could not let his old man see him cry, at least not now. "I would rather be a lowlife," his voice cracked, giving sure proof that he was on the brink of tears. Stumbling to his feet, he got a good look at his father before walking out the door, remembering how indignant and hateful he was looking at him. At that moment, he knew why Eiri hated him so much.
"Why am I so cursed?" the elder man exhaled, slapping his hand to his forehead and running it down his face.
Entering his room, Tatsuha browsed about at his many forgotten things. All of his clothes has been dragged out of the room and taken to Ryuichi's house, among many other necessities of his. The main thing he that was left behind was his Nittle Grasper CDs, posters, videos and everything related to them. He had no idea why it was so, but every since he started being with Ryuichi, and fell in love with him, he had no real desire to have the band items. The only real reason he liked Nittle Grasper was because of Ryuichi and now that he was with him, he did not need to hug a picture of Ryuichi when he could just embrace the real thing! Why kiss an image when the genuine person asks for one from you everyday? Being with Ryuichi made him feel wanted and loved, something he never felt before and acknowledged it.
Turning over to his bed, he spotted the small, red ribbon of Miyu's. Grasping the ribbon in his hand, he quickly contemplated on how much he really loved Miyu. It was true that he loved Ryuichi more than anything, but he had loved Miyu for a much longer time without even knowing it. How can you love someone when you never knew how to before? Miyu had always offered everything to Tatsuha, even her hand in marriage, yet he refused everything she had thrown at him. It was true he got annoyed at her at times, yet he always did enjoy her company and her sweet nothings she would say to him. He always looked out for, and he discovered recently that he did so because he wanted no other person to have her; like how he acted to Eichiro on their night out. The only thing he was drawn away from her was because they were cousins, and he would use that as an excuse so they could not be close or was sexual actions on each other. However, when they did do such things, he loved every moment of it. He loved being around Miyu, teasing her whenever he could, and just seeing her. Miyu was like a prize possession to him, but it only took him thirteen years to realize it. Did he really love her more than Ryuichi?
A Nittle Grasper CD in one hand, and the red ribbon in the other. Tatsuha looked at both, his heart sinking with an enormous hole through it. He loved both the man and the woman but who he loved more was vexing him. Throwing his head down, he cried.
"God damn."
"A concert?" Noriko's melodic voice ringed, looking at the small schedule in her hands. Tohma was working on some of his work papers, and Ryuichi was busy eating a sandwich. Giving her two band members a queer look, her voice came in flows. "We don't even have a new song to play at this up-coming concert."
Pushing down the lat bit of the bread, Ryuichi tried to speak through a stuffed mouth. "I can write something," he managed to get through. Swallowing the rest of his food, he smiled. "I can't be that hard to write one song in a few days."
"The concert is in a couple days Ryuichi," Tohma cautioned. "Are you sure you want to go to such lengths? I mean, we could just use an old song we haven't used in awhile or one we never did at concert."
Ryuichi showed he disliked the idea by rolling his eyes. Sitting up with his legs crossed, he twisted his earrings. "I want to write a new song. It will be done before the concert, okay?"
"Making a new song in a few days is kind of difficult, Ryu-chan," Noriko was a little worried about the idea, too. "We are not sure if we have enough time to compose a brand new song in a few days." Ryuichi took one glance at her before patting himself on the chest.
"I can do it!" he bellowed, "We can make a new song easily, just like we used to do! Just because we are getting older doesn't mean we haven't lost our touch or anything."
"Well, we will give it a try," Tohma finished. It may not have been the best idea, but Ryuichi seemed determined on making a new song that you probably could not make him think otherwise. Ryuichi cheered happily, prancing about the room with Kumagorou hanging on tightly to his head.
Snatching a piece of white paper from Tohma's desk, Ryuichi giggled to himself, "I better get started on these lyrics." Taking a pencil from his pocket, he curled it up in his fingers and brought the sharpened lead to the paper. Tapping his foot for some sort of rhythm, he began to scribble something down.
"What is the most important thing in your life?" Noriko spoke up, asking a weird question that you would most likely find in some magazine. Not even getting any eye contact from the both of them, she continued. "I know we all love our job and all, but there is always something more precious to us. For instance: My husband and daughter is the most important thing in my life."
"Eiri-san," Tohma said underneath a muttered breath, not even taking time to look up from his papers. Noriko only smiled that he responded, and responded honestly. She turned to Ryuichi, who was so engrossed on writing something down on the paper that he probably did not even hear her.
"What about you Ryu-chan?" she asked, getting his attention. A little 'what' from his mouth gave her the idea that he was not listening, so she asked again. "What is the most important thing your life?"
Biting down on his pencil, Ryuichi started to really think about the question. Although, he looked both confused and thoughtful. Taking a gander at what he had written on his paper, he blushed. "Tatsu-kun."
"The most important thing to all of us isn't a thing, after all. We all love a someone," Tohma said happily. Looking up at Ryuichi, his eyes traveled down to the piece of paper he was holding. "What have you gotten down?"
"Nothing much," Ryuichi said unnervingly. Grasping the paper to his chest, he laughed fakely, his voice shaking.
Noriko's curiousness grew suddenly with rapid speed that she ran up to Ryuichi and tried to take the paper away. "Let me see, Ryu-chan!"
"No, get away!"
With a quick shift, Noriko got the paper with utmost ease and looked it over. Her eyes contrasted and a laugh escaped her pink lips, and threw the paper back to Ryuichi. "That's cute, Ryu-chan."
"Shut up," Ryuichi blushed. He looked down at his paper, which had 'I love Tatsu-kun' inside a huge heart he drew. Not taking another moment to waste, he hugged onto the paper with all of his might. "I love Tatsu-kun," he cooed to himself.
"Last night is taking effect, eh?" Noriko said dryly, grinning at Ryuichi. How she knew about what Tatsuha and Ryuichi ha done last night was behind anyone. Laughing, she caught the small pillow Ryuichi threw at her from embarrassment. The sound of knocking made them all seize their actions. As the door opened, a rather large man peered in. It was a worker from N-G.
"Excuse me," he bowed. After taking his courteous gesture, he looked over at Ryuichi. "You have a guest that insisted on seeing you for something. She says she knows you."
The pink bunny fell from his head, and fell into his arms. A little puzzled, he could not think of anyone that he knew who would come to see him at work. Not wanting to be rude, and wanting to know who it was, he nodded. "Let her in."
"H-Hi," an almost inaudible voice muffled behind the worker, quiet and sweet. Miyu walked in the door, looking shy and unsure of her self. The door shut behind her, causing her to look back.
"Amori-san?" Tohma was surprised to say the least. He had not seen the girl since she was a little girl play tea parties, and was basically Tatsuha's little follower. The look on Miyu's face signaled she was happy to see him, as well.
Scanning about, she got even redder in the face. "I can't believe I am in a room with the band Nittle Grasper," her legs started to shake. Feeling a hand pat her on the back, she yelped.
"You're jumpy," Noriko said soothingly. "Sit down, sweetie."
Miyu obliged to her suggestion and sat down next to her, feeling a little more at ease. Fiddling with her rings, she could not figure out what to say. "I came here to say I'm sorry," she chocked.
"Sorry?" Ryuichi asked, confused more than ever. What had she done to him that would make her want to apologize for? Watching her jitter about, he knew she was about ready to cry.
Miyu looked up at Ryuichi with a giant smile, "I am your number one fan, Ryuichi. In addition, I feel like I shouldn't be able to be called something so honorable for what I have thought about you."
"Thought about me?" Ryuichi sighed, still confused. However, he rather got the idea that she probably thought of him badly. The girl started to look down at the carpet, looking melancholy. Smiling, Ryuichi walked over to the beautiful girl and placed Kumagorou in her lap. "Amori-chan, you are not a fan. You are my friend, okay?"
Miyu could not hold back any of her tears after what he had said, and started to blubber. Bringing her head up to look at him, she started to cry even harder. "Thank you, Sakuma-sama. You are so nice to me," she smiled.
"That is how friends are supposed to be," Ryuichi laughed, making Kumagorou kiss her on the cheek cutely.
"Ryu-chan," Noriko said, moved by how caring he was being to a girl he hardly even knew.
Miyu wiped a few tears from her eyes, feeling a little bit like a child. She took out her cell phone and started to go through some phone numbers. "Sakuma-sama, can you give me your cell number? Since we are friends and all, I would like to keep in touch."
"Sure!" Ryuichi chirped, taking her cell phone and typing up the number she could call him by. Letting the phone go back to her, she shook his finger. "Call me anytime you need some guidance or something or if you just want to talk, okay?"
"Thank you so much," she smiled, hugging Ryuichi.
Entering the house, Tatsuha took note of the silence that awaited him. Only his breath and his slow footsteps against the floor was the only sound to be heard. Ryuichi should have been home by now, but Tohma and Noriko would occasionally make him work a while longer before letting him go. Clicking on the light switch, the room instantly lit up. Tatsuha looked about the room, even if he knew no one was home at the time being. Tossing the house key to the small table beside him, he sighed impatiently with his dark eyes scanning about.
Whether or not his constant battling of thoughts was to end, he knew that Miyu and Ryuichi would still be on his mind. How could he tell which one he loved more? How do you even know when you love two people?
"Ouch," he hissed as he sat down on the couch. His legs were aching from the force he used against his motorcycle on the ride up and back from Kyoto. A soft sensation hit his hand, ticking him. Looking down, he saw the small ribbon peeking out from his pocket. Grabbing and pulling it all the way out, he took a good look at it. So beautiful.
"Miyu," he whispered to himself. He wished that he could take back all the mean ways he acted towards her, telling her how he really felt. However, what would become of him and Ryuichi? The one man he always wanted could never be replaced in his heart. Could he?
The sound of clicking at the door got Tatsuha's attention, causing him to jump off the couch. He recognized the sound quickly, and knew Ryuichi was home. Unlocking the door, Ryuichi came hurling in with a turn of a knob. Jaunty as always, he was humming his whole way inside with Kumagorou tightly in his grasp.
"Tatsu-kun," he purred like a kitten. Knowing exactly where to find him, he skipped over to the couch. Surprised to see him standing instead of sitting, Ryuichi's mouth dropped for a brief moment. "How's your dad?" he asked, taking out his hair tie, letting the small ponytail fall.
Wincing at the thought of the bastard, Tatsuha turned away from the shorter man. "Okay," he growled, not wanting to let Ryuichi know of him and his father's new relationship. However, Yuki would be proud.
"Mad at your father?" he asked softly, not wanting Tatsuha to get mad at him. Walking around the couch, he went up to the dark-haired boy and started to rub his arm soothingly.
"No," Tatsuha snorted. Feeling Ryuichi's small hands stop for a moment and then continue to caress his arm, he let out a sigh.
"It's okay," he responded. "It's good to have a few arguments with your parents."
Shifting away, Tatsuha brushed off Ryuichi's arm. "I don't have a father, anymore." He hissed crudely, looking down at Ryuichi with the most serious look he could muster. Looking down at Ryuichi's wide, glassy eyes, he could sense that he hurt Ryuichi somehow. Maybe that is how Eiri feels with Shuichi. Instead of acting just as his brother any further, he took Ryuichi into an embrace. "I'm sorry," he cooed.
A little moan came from Ryuichi lips as he cuddled deep into Tatsuha's shirt, taking in every scent that was around him and feeling every sensation on his body. Tatsuha was so warm and being in his arms made him feel so protected and safe. A sot tickle started to go across the back of his neck, causing a shiver to go down his spine. Reaching back, he felt something thin and grabbed it.
"Hey!" Tatsuha warned, feeling the ribbon come out of his hands. Watching Ryuichi looked at the small thing, he noticed how his eyes looked as vexed as a foxes. "It's what Miyu gave me yesterday at Tokyo Tower."
"Amori-san?" Ryuichi grinned, being reminded of his new friend. "She came over to N-G Studios today and talked to me."
Grunting, Tatsuha jumped back a little. Miyu actually went and talked to Ryuichi? "Did she say anything about me?" wondering if maybe she still loved him truly or not, Tatsuha waited for a reply.
"No," he replied, handing the ribbon back to Tatsuha who took it back slowly. Tatsuha slumped back a little until Ryuichi hugged him again, causing him to stand upright. "I love you Tatsu-kun," he whispered almost inaudibly, but loud enough for Tatsuha to hear.
"I love you too," Tatsuha said back, inhaling deeply and letting out a long exhale. It was true that he loved the very man he held, but he also loved someone else. To tell Ryuichi that would probably break his very heart, but Tatsuha yearned to just let him know to not cause any harder heartbreak. However, to tell him would mean to leave him…. He did not want that. To be so close to Ryuichi was a dream come true and he didn't want to give that up. However, he did not want to give Miyu up either. "I got to go," he managed to say.
Looking up at the confused boy, Ryuichi wondered. He had just gotten back home and now Tatsuha wanted to leave. "Where are you going to?"
"My cousin's house," he finished. Slipping on his shoes and his black jacket, he could feel Ryuichi's faze on him. Building up even the smallest smile, he turned his head to look at him. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Miss me while I'm gone."
"I'm sorry Tatsuha-chan," the elder woman said, shaking her head. "My daughter went out with her friends just awhile ago."
Tatsuha's shoulders dropped and a small sigh came from his hard lips. Looking up at his distant relative at the doorway, he bowed slightly. "Thanks you, Amori-san. By any chance, do you know where they went?"
"You don't need to be so polite with me, Tatsuha-chan. We have known each other for a long time," she giggled, patting him on the head while he was still bowing to her. Leaning her arm against the door, she brought her hand up to nitpick at one of her shirt buttons. "Miyu-chan told me that she and her friends were going to see a movie in Shibuya."
"Shibuya?" he didn't realize that Miyu was that faraway, all the way in Tokyo! The whole trip to Kyoto was so meaningless now and he had wasted it. Her mother nodded sincerely and placed her hand on his arm.
"Don't worry dear," she smiled. "They left just a few minutes ago. By now, they are probably still on the train so I am sure you can still call her."
Not even thinking of that before, a light in Tatsuha's eyes sprang, and he bowed from sheer excitement. "Thank you so much," he gratified. Blushing, he remembered that she had just told him that he had not need to be so polite and stood up as straight as he could. "I mean… thanks," he said in a deeper voice than usual.
"No problem dear," she said, waving him off before shutting her door.
Tatsuha walked off, finding the nearest bench to sit down on. Feeling a little nervous, he took out his cell phone and called up Miyu's number. Listening to the loud ringing made him very impatient as it continued on, and on, and on. "Pick up Miyu," Tatsuha gulped down some saliva, hoping that she even had her cell phone with her. Then, the ringing stopped and he raised his head for her to answer his call. Her voice spoke up.
"I'm sorry; I can not answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and I will try to get back to you, okay? Bai-Bai!"
Answering machines were the worst things ever made by man. Whenever you really wanted to talk to that person: Answering machine is there!
Frustrated and disappointed already, Tatsuha decided to just leave a message. "Miyu, it's me. Please answer if you are there," waiting for only a few brief seconds, he continued. "Miyu… I only want to say I am sorry for being such a jackass to you for, well, thirteen years. I always saw you as a nuisance or just an annoyance, and sometimes just a tool for sex when I needed it. However, I never realized how much you cared for me and how much I care for you. I know this is awkward now, especially after all of these problems going on lately between us. I know you have given up or something, but now I wish you had not. I am just so confused. In fact, I sometimes think I would give Ryuichi up to be with you. I do not know, I am just so confused. I love you Miyu," with that, Tatsuha hung up as fast as he could. His heart was beating so fast that he could not even keep track of the amount of beats per second. He finally said it, and she and her friends were probably listening to it right now… laughing or something. You know how girls are.
"I'm such a fool," he muttered to himself, throwing his cell phone on the ground. Letting himself relax on the bench, he rather hoped that his phone would ring, having Miyu call him back up.
The little phone did not even make one beep.
"Maybe she hates me or something," Tatsuha pondered. It would not surprise him after how he acted towards her for so long, denying her feelings. Women could only put up with something for so long before letting go. Tatsuha finally understood how Miyu felt. He was living her life, as it was when she loved him, only feelings were swapped. It was time for him to get back home with Ryuichi.
"Ryuichi!" he called out once entering the door. Once again, he returned home to find the house completely quiet amongst itself and dark to boot. Looking around, he only spotted Kumagorou sitting in his usual spot on the couch, watching a blank television screen. Picking up the pink bunny, Tatsuha mused. "Where could he be without you?" he asked the inanimate object, jiggling his head up and down as Ryuichi would do so often. Then, he spotted something white in his little bowtie. It was a piece of paper stuffed behind it, probably a note Ryuichi left for him to say Noriko took him out or something like he usually does. Opening it up, he read the following:
'I'll be back later, Tatsu-kun. I went out to the movies with Amori-san.
Love, Ryuichi.'
Shit.
"Kyoto is so pretty," Ryuichi gasped as he and Miyu walked into the main center of Kyoto. They had both already seen the movie and decided to just go to Kyoto, since Ryuichi insisted on going because he had never seen the place before. Dashing across the thousands of shrines with chanting to be heard within inside, Ryuichi looked up at the largest Buddha statue in Kyoto. "Wow," he glimmered at the large rock. Ryuichi thought of something while looking back at all the wooden houses. "This place kind of makes you think of traditional Japan, huh Amori-san?"
"In a way," she nodded. Turning to look out to the distance, you could see the city of Tokyo. It was not close, but not that far. The only thing blocking Kyoto and Tokyo was thousands and thousands of trees, which gave both cities a good distance away from each other. "I would much rather want to live in Tokyo," she gloated. "It may not be the best place, but much better than Kyoto. At least it is exciting there."
Ryuichi looked over to the very sight she was looking at. Tokyo looked beautiful from a distance, but just looked like a normal city up close with pros and cons within it. "Sometimes the excitement is the worst thing," he informed her, stilling gazing about Kyoto. Many of the people walked by in kimonos of many colors, catching Ryuichi's attention. Distant sounds of clacking were glittering in the soft wind, and Ryuichi looked around to see where the noise was coming from. "What was that?"
"This," Miyu pointed out to two large wooden planks standing up right about two three feet apart from each other, connecting by one large plank on the top of them. In the middle, rows of wooden bars hung down and strings hanged many little carved boxes and charms on them. On each box, something was written, dedicated to someone. The charms shook in the wind, causing them to smack against each other and cause clanking noises. "It is folklore that if you hang up a wooden charm on this with the name of the person you love, that you two will love each other forever and will always be together."
Not even speaking another word, Ryuichi just looked down at the many charms already hung up. Thousands of names that so many people had put up, hoping for the very folklore to grant them what they desired. Catching a glimpse of a blank charm, Ryuichi took out a permanent marker and took hold of it. "I hope the folklore is true," he said to himself, writing down Tatsuha's first and last name on the little charm. After writing it down, he placed a small kiss on the charm for extra luck, before letting it go back into the piles of charms.
"It never worked for me," Miyu sighed. "I hope you have better luck." Ryuichi looked at her briefly before going back to search through the small charms. "Mine isn't in there because I took it off not too long ago. I kind of realized it was useless," she grinned, only to get a humble look from Ryuichi. Looking away, she took out her cell phone after hearing a small beep from it. Looking at the small screen, she read up that she had a voice message that had not been listened to. "Oh, a message. It seems I got it during the movie," she clicked on a few buttons before bringing the device to her ear, listening intently.
Ryuichi was so busy looking at all the small birds around and was most interested in a few Japanese white-eyes that sang about in the trees. "Tweet," Ryuichi giggled up at the birds that merely looked down at him and then looked away casually. The next thing he knew, Miyu walked up to him with her cell phone in her hand, reaching it out to him.
"You might want to listen to this," she said, her eyes saying something mysterious. Ryuichi took the phone out of her hands and pushed down on the exact button he needed to. Once he heard the message start up, his eyes widened and he smiled happily.
"It's Tatsu-kun!" starting to kick his feet around, he suddenly paused as he listened to the message further, quitting every action he was controlling. Easy to say, his happy face was completely gone from his features and some indescribable look came over his face. Miyu looked at his hand that was holding her cell phone and noticed how rapid it was shaking. In fact, Ryuichi's whole body was almost shaking and his face was going pale. Then, he dropped the phone and hit his knees on the dust ground.
Walking over, Miyu picked up her cell phone from the ground and started to dust it off. Ryuichi trembling and his whole body on the ground, Miyu spit. "Don't you get it now, Sakuma-sama?" she grinned, knowing she now finally had the upper hand. "I was just as surprised as you were. However, I knew my Tatsuha-kun would come around eventually. In all true fact, I am his fiancée."
"What?" Ryuichi was able to choke up, his whole body shaking and tears already streaming down his cheeks.
Laughing, Miyu curled her hair between her fingers. "We are engaged, fool. We have been before Tatsuha even kissed you on his little trip he won with you. Don't you get it? Tatsuha-kun felt nothing for you from the very start! He just tricked you to have sex with you, just like he does with every other man and women he has been with." Putting her hand to her chest, she blinked a few times. "Oh, he probably didn't even mention that to you either. Tatsuha-kun is nothing but a player. He had knocked up so many people and you are just another one to his list, he probably already graded you with some kind of rank. He only used you for his own pleasure Sakuma. Just like he does with everyone else. He could never love you because he does not know the difference from lust and love. You are nothing to him and you never will be."
Not wanting to hear any of what she was telling him, Ryuichi tried his best to block out every word she spoke out. However, he could not help but listen. He did not want to believe he, he could not believe what he was hearing… but he did. Sniffling and bawling, he held himself tight, trying to overcome the agonizing pain in his lower stomach. Miyu was right; Tatsuha had only used him and never loved him. He had been so foolish to not even see so, and now, he paid for it. He had fallen in love with the boy that only was out to plant heartbreak on him. How could he do such a thing? How could he just do such things with him, telling him he loves him and then just throw him away like this? Why did he kept doing so, letting Ryuichi fall in love with him? Why couldn't he do it before he got engrossed with the boy?
Why did he even have to meet him?
It hurt. It hurt so much.
"Miyu!" Tatsuha spotted the brown-headed beauty about ready to go into her house and yelled after her. It sure was an exhausting day for Tatsuha: running back and forth from Kyoto and Tokyo. Running up to her, he started to catch his breath.
Miyu smiled widely and held her arms open, "Darling!" she said with a purr, flinging herself on him.
"Darling?" he queried her. Pushing her back into viewing distance, he gave her a serious glance. "I thought you have given up on me."
Covering her mouth for a sweet giggle, Miyu shook her index finger in front of his face. "Tsk, tsk. That is no way to speak to your wife."
"Where's Ryuichi?" he asked, his voice getting deeper because of her attitude. Something was wrong and Tatsuha could tell just by the way she was looking at him. "Where is he?!"
Miyu placed her hand on Tatsuha's arm, patting it softly. "Oh, he went home when Noriko came over to take him home. He was so busy crying that he did not even get the chance to say goodbye to me. What a pity," she looked up at Tatsuha with a fire in her eyes. "It doesn't matter now, though. You love me, after all."
"I don't love you," Tatsuha hissed at her, a flame starting to rage in his body. Miyu only chuckled, flashing her cell phone in front of him.
"Your message says otherwise, darling."
Slapping the little phone from her hands, Tatsuha went at her wrists and squeezed on tight. "I am confused, Miyu. Don't take everything I say seriously," lowering his voice, he looked at her apathetically. "What did you say to him?"
"I let him listen to the message you left. After all, he has every right to hear what his lover has to say," lowering her gaze, she grinned. "Then I said a few things here and there. That's all."
"Like what?"
Miyu raised her hand and pointed to her ring finger, signaling that she told Ryuichi about their engagement and then, she pointed to Tatsuha himself. "That you are my fiancée, and about the real Tatsuha-kun. You know, about how much you were just using him."
"You're a filthy bitch," he growled deeply, letting go of her wrist and pushing her slightly enough to knock her down to the ground. Grabbing into his pocket, he took out the red ribbon she had given him. "Why I even thought I loved you amazes me. You make me sick!" tossing down the ribbon, he spitted at it delinquently. His dark eyes glared down at the girl he once knew, a fire burning in his raven eyes. He hated Miyu more than he had ever hated her, and this time, he meant it. Turning around, he walked away from her for the last time.
"I see how it is," Miyu cried, letting the fallen ribbon dance into her palm. A tear ran down the ribbon that had fallen from her face. The only thing she could do now was to watch Tatsuha walk away.
"I knew that this was all just going to be trouble," Tohma sighed. Ryuichi could be heard crying from the other room and Noriko trying to console him sweetly. Taking a few steps, he looked into the room at his band mates. "Is he going to be okay?"
Noriko looked over at her blonde-haired friend, just looked down with a melancholy face, and simply shrugged. Rubbing Ryuichi's back, she felt terrible enough because of her unknowing to what she should even say to him. "It's going to be okay, Ryu-chan."
"I'm sure that Tatsuha-san doesn't hate you," Tohma joined in, hoping that Ryuichi would believe in that.
"It's not that he hates me," Ryuichi blubbered, stammering half of the words he spoke. "It's just… he doesn't love me."
Noriko continued to rub and pat Ryuichi on the back, wishing he would at least stop his crying enough so that they could understand a sentence that he could muster up. Knowing the hardship he must be going through, she smiled. "You really love him, don't you?"
"I love Tatsu-kun," he shouted, bawling even louder than before. Noriko realized she should not have even asked that question. "I wish he could love me, I wish he could love me," Ryuichi continued to say before stopping and continuing his endless crying.
Placing down a cup of coffee, Tohma sat down on next to Ryuichi, on the opposite side of which Noriko was sitting on. "I am sure he does, Ryu-chan. If I know Tatsuha-san, then I am sure he does."
"He doesn't love me," Ryuichi swallowed. "He just thought he loved me. However, he has lived out his dream to be with him and left me alone with the affection for him."
"Ryuichi," Tohma whispered. If there was anything he could do to make Ryuichi feel better, he would do it in an instant. The pain Ryuichi was experiencing seemed to have no cure, unfortunately. The only thing the both of them could do was just sit there and be right there for him throughout the whole thing.
"Why did he do this to me? Why didn't he just tell me a long time ago? Why?"
"Sometimes its best not to even know," Tohma spoke up, taking the courage to hug onto Ryuichi, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. Noriko nodded to the statement, wishing the best for the vocalist and for Tatsuha, too.
"What do you want?" Yuki held his door wide open, cigarette hanging from his lips. His hair was a complete mess and his clothes were even worse. His reading glasses could show the exact image of what he was looking at:
Tatsuha.
"May I stay the night here?" he asked nervously, looking at his elder brother with the most helpless look plausible.
"No."
Throwing his arms up in the air, Tatsuha began to whine. "Is this how you treat your little brother, aniki? Please just let me stay one night, please!"
"Don't you have your wet dream's house to stay at?" he asked, flicking ashes off his cigarette. His mystical eyes were just testing Tatsuha, waiting and wanting him to say another remark to get him going into an argument.
Just letting the comment go past him, Tatsuha sighed. "I'm afraid to go there for tonight. There are some complications an-"
"Have a fight, huh?" he asked before he could even finish. Opening the door even wider, he signaled for Tatsuha to walk on in. "I know what it is like to have a fight with a lover, so I guess you can stay. Although, I don't see why you just don't stay at dads."
It seemed as if Eiri was going to find out everything that has gone on in his life in not even three minutes. "Complications," he said shortly. A few claps from Eiri's hands brought a laugh out of Tatsuha. He knew he would be proud of it. Looking around the room, he saw no sight of Shuichi and knew that he was probably already in bed. Retreating to his brother's couch, he stuffed his face into the mattress.
"Good night," Yuki said dryly, giving him an odd look before returning to his room and locking the door. He had never seen someone make out with his couch before.
The sound of the locking door made Tatsuha turn onto his back, safe to know that his brother was no longer looking at him. Staring off into the dark room and up at the ceiling, he knew that his whole life was in a rut. Ryuichi was probably somewhere crying because of the damn message he left on Miyu's cell phone and he was not even there for him. If only he realized he did not even love Miyu before he called. If only he made it to the both of them a lot earlier, way before she even said anything to him. He lost the one thing he ever wanted because of his foolishness. Now he was probably never going to get it back. He had screwed up his life again, but this time, he did not enjoy the outcome.
The silence was soon broken up by Shuichi and Yuki's quiet conversation—
"Yuki, stop it," Shuichi giggled, the covers being ruffled was heard.
Yuki's deep voice spoke up, sounding seductive. "Come on, Tatsuha can't hear us or anything."
"Yeah, right." Tatsuha said to himself, turning to his side in order to not hear them at all. Of course, that never works because you always try to listen.
Shuichi let out a small moan, "Yuki..." he groaned a little, sounding as if he was in pure ecstasy. Then, it went quiet. "I love you, Yuki."
"Hm," was the reply he got back.
Tatsuha felt a few tears build up in his eyes, causing his hand to go to his face like a reflex. He wanted to cry so badly, and he wished he never did listen to what they said last, because he knew very well that he and Ryuichi could have been saying the same things to each other tonight. They could have been saying that to each other everyday.
Except now, he could never hear it again.
END CHAPTER 13
Ugh, this chapter is somewhat sad. Miyu was very cynical in this chapter, and believe me, there are some mean, conniving women in Japan. Believe me, I have met some. However, let's not even go there.
The little charm thing in Kyoto is real. I put that in there because I have seen one and even put a charm on there before. Actually, I put down the name of someone I used to have a crush on. I want to burn it now so bad… but it is all the way in Japan. Le sigh. In addition, Kyoto really is pretty!
A little random, but does anyone else like Ryuichi's hair up in a ponytail? I really, really do! Look at the Gravitation Remix 6, and that is how I like his hair up. I find it SO cute!! Umm… I am acting too uke. Sorry.
Now, reviews! (I want more. Let's make it to 100!!)
Cherry-Wolf: If you insist on feeding me, then yes! ::opens mouth:: Your heart stopped? Heh, my fanfic is going to cause people to call an ambulance. How nice. Miyu did not give up… she is just a lovable bitch! Yeah, I have all the manga and half of the Remixes. The remixes 1&6 OWN EVERYONE!! If you do not like them, you already have a reservation with the devil! Hahaha! Also, give lots of luck to Tatsuha and Ryuichi, they are going to need it. Anything else? Hmmm… beer!
Ish: I know. Tatsuha and Ryuichi BELONG to each other. Also, Ryuichi's height…. I do not know. I do not think they can get height exactly right all the time. Nevertheless, you can tell the difference with him and Tatsuha at the zoo. Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. It's just… Ryuichi reminds me too much of Shuichi with their happy-go-lucky attitudes. Also, SHORT PEOPLE ROCK!! LICK MY SHORT, TINY BOOTS TALL PEOPLE!!
Komioji Fin: People love how I ended chapter 12, huh? ::laughs:: Also, yeah.. Tatsuha and Ryuichi had gotten together awhile back.. and now. Hm. ::eats the pocky::
Ellechan: Hey, lazy people are good too! Thanks for your comments. Tatsuha and Miyu as kids in my mind make me giggle. Big old eyes and little fingers.. AWWW!! Tatsuha with character development? I feel so honored, truly! Many people never really thinkg that Tatsuha can be so complicated and deep, huh? RYUICHI/TATSUHA ROCK SOCKS!!!
Bara-aoi: ::rubs ears:: no need to yell, love. Hopefully you got to see what happened in this chapter, though! I am such a nerd, don't you agree?
Zufu-chan: ::eats marshmallows like wild beast:: Thanks. Tokyo Tower was good, even though I almost pissed myself when I got really high. I liked the aquarium, wax museum and all the other stuff, though! -
Kitty in the Box: New reviewer, I love you! ::hands you delicious candy:: Also, I agree with the seme and uke thing! You are so right, girlfriend! I am so glad that my fanfic really touches people, even to make them almost cry! I am honored! Heartbreak never ends is right… it's like a soap opera!! I love you!
Woodsie: It is really cute, huh? LITTLE TATSUHA!! ::squeezes him to death:: Yeah, my fanfic is really messed up. Please think of what is going to happen next again all night. I cause insomnia!!
Don't eat peanuts, but do read Gravitation Remix 2 & 6.