Title: Hogwarts School of Perversion
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and concepts.
Dumbledore looked pleased and surprised at Professor Lupin's presence in his office.
"Have a seat, Remus. Would you like a lollipop, little boy?"
"Uh...I'm in my thirties, but I'll take a grape one if you've got it." Remus nervously seated himself in front of the Headmaster's desk.
Albus folded his hands on his desk and watched Professor Lupin unwrap the lollipop.
"Is Severus bothering you again?"
"No. No. Not that."
"So the two of you are having sex again. Correct?"
Lupin looked quite comical the way his eyes bulged in horror, lollipop stationary in his mouth.
"You-how...well, actually that makes my question a little easier to ask."
"Yes?" Dumbledore continued to look quite calm and in complete earnest.
"Well," Remus sighed, "how is it you know about every single relationship that goes on in this school? Heterosexual. Homosexual. Multiple partners-it's all so complicated, yet nothing surprises you in the least."
"My dear Professor Lupin," laughed Dumbledore good-naturedly. "I have not lived this long being dense, you know. Aside from that, I am a licensed voyer with a passion for dirty photographs. It's one of my favorite hobbies-aside from sampling candy from all over the world. This school was not founded by saints, you know."
Interested, Remus sat up straight. "What do you mean?"
"The four founders of Hogwarts cast a powerful spell that seeps into the very foundation of this castle. In turn, only the sexually gifted are drawn, shall we say, to attend this school."
"But, what about the letters that-?"
"Hogwarts only allows those with potential to attend, of course, but students who just aren't cut out for, say, threesomes or beastiality, never finish the seven years. They are weeded out and quietly discarded."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled most merrily as he said this. Not knowing what to say, Lupin continued sucking his lollipop.
"Oh, the countless stories I could tell you," chuckled Dumbledore. "One of my favorite things to watch..."
Pans to a seemingly typical day in Potions.
Students are absorbed in the measuring and mixing of ingredients. There is a soft bubbling of cauldrons and clinking of phials in the background. The back of Snape's billowing black robes are seen as he slowly makes his rounds of inspection. He approaches the front of the class, turns, and we see that Snape is wearing tight black leather pants, black leather boots with dark green snakes twisting up the ankles, and a black shirt unbuttoned to expose his pale chest. Hot damn! In his right hand he is holding a whip.
"Miss Granger," he says in that abrupt way of his, "what are you doing with Longbottom?"
"Helping him, sir," replies Hermione, somewhat meekly.
"Detention! Be in my chambers-be here tonight at eight o'clock. And you'd best not keep me waiting." Snape tauntingly tapped the whip into his left palm.
Ron looked at Harry. "What do you think he wants?"
Harry shrugged and looked at Hermione, who also looked puzzled, and scared.
"Mr. Malfoy!"
"Yes, sir?"
"What are you doing with those hippogriff talons?"
"I'm dangling them menacingly over Longbottom's cauldron, sir."
Neville sighed. "Why must everyone use *my* cauldron to make a commotion? Couldn't you use Parvati's or Seamus' for some variety?"
"Shut up, Longbottom!" Snape stalked over to Draco and regarded him sternly.
"Am I-in trouble, sir," inquired Draco lazily as he leaned against the table.
Snape's eyes flashed. "Yes!"
"*Bad* trouble?" Draco tossed his gorgeous silver-blond mane, and locked eyes with the Potions Master.
Snape's grip on the whip tightened. "Yes," he repeated, rather breathlessly.
"Do I deserve a *spanking*, sir?" Draco allowed his robe to casually slip off one shoulder to reveal he was bare and powdered naked underneath.
Snape's breathing came out shakily, and he had to bite down on the whip to control himself. Hermione watched this little exchange with some interest. Everyone else, including Neville, went about their work. Snape's expression was a combination of rage and arousal. He leaned over Draco, placing both hands on either side of the pale, elfish Slytherin.
"I'm using the saddle on you tonight, boy. Do you hear?" His lips were inches away from Draco's. Draco smiled evilly.
"And the riding crop as well, sir?"
Snape shook as he clutched the whip even tighter. "Miss Granger!" He whirled around to glare at Hermione. "Your detention will take place *tomorrow* at eight. Wear something...low-cut."
Ron looked at Hermione sympathetically. "Bummer. What do you think he wants?"
"I don't know. I hope I won't have to pickled dragon tongues or anything gross like that. At least I have this evening free to spend in the library."
"Talking in class, Miss Granger? Add a pair of black silk nylons to that low-cut outfit!"
"Maybe she'll have to scrub the desks or something," said Ron to Harry.
~FIN~
Next chapter: Hermione serves detention...and a whole lot more!
A/N: As always any sudden changes in verb tense are entirely intentional! I had a really hot dream the other night about Lucius Malfoy. It involved rollerskates.
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and concepts.
Dumbledore looked pleased and surprised at Professor Lupin's presence in his office.
"Have a seat, Remus. Would you like a lollipop, little boy?"
"Uh...I'm in my thirties, but I'll take a grape one if you've got it." Remus nervously seated himself in front of the Headmaster's desk.
Albus folded his hands on his desk and watched Professor Lupin unwrap the lollipop.
"Is Severus bothering you again?"
"No. No. Not that."
"So the two of you are having sex again. Correct?"
Lupin looked quite comical the way his eyes bulged in horror, lollipop stationary in his mouth.
"You-how...well, actually that makes my question a little easier to ask."
"Yes?" Dumbledore continued to look quite calm and in complete earnest.
"Well," Remus sighed, "how is it you know about every single relationship that goes on in this school? Heterosexual. Homosexual. Multiple partners-it's all so complicated, yet nothing surprises you in the least."
"My dear Professor Lupin," laughed Dumbledore good-naturedly. "I have not lived this long being dense, you know. Aside from that, I am a licensed voyer with a passion for dirty photographs. It's one of my favorite hobbies-aside from sampling candy from all over the world. This school was not founded by saints, you know."
Interested, Remus sat up straight. "What do you mean?"
"The four founders of Hogwarts cast a powerful spell that seeps into the very foundation of this castle. In turn, only the sexually gifted are drawn, shall we say, to attend this school."
"But, what about the letters that-?"
"Hogwarts only allows those with potential to attend, of course, but students who just aren't cut out for, say, threesomes or beastiality, never finish the seven years. They are weeded out and quietly discarded."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled most merrily as he said this. Not knowing what to say, Lupin continued sucking his lollipop.
"Oh, the countless stories I could tell you," chuckled Dumbledore. "One of my favorite things to watch..."
Pans to a seemingly typical day in Potions.
Students are absorbed in the measuring and mixing of ingredients. There is a soft bubbling of cauldrons and clinking of phials in the background. The back of Snape's billowing black robes are seen as he slowly makes his rounds of inspection. He approaches the front of the class, turns, and we see that Snape is wearing tight black leather pants, black leather boots with dark green snakes twisting up the ankles, and a black shirt unbuttoned to expose his pale chest. Hot damn! In his right hand he is holding a whip.
"Miss Granger," he says in that abrupt way of his, "what are you doing with Longbottom?"
"Helping him, sir," replies Hermione, somewhat meekly.
"Detention! Be in my chambers-be here tonight at eight o'clock. And you'd best not keep me waiting." Snape tauntingly tapped the whip into his left palm.
Ron looked at Harry. "What do you think he wants?"
Harry shrugged and looked at Hermione, who also looked puzzled, and scared.
"Mr. Malfoy!"
"Yes, sir?"
"What are you doing with those hippogriff talons?"
"I'm dangling them menacingly over Longbottom's cauldron, sir."
Neville sighed. "Why must everyone use *my* cauldron to make a commotion? Couldn't you use Parvati's or Seamus' for some variety?"
"Shut up, Longbottom!" Snape stalked over to Draco and regarded him sternly.
"Am I-in trouble, sir," inquired Draco lazily as he leaned against the table.
Snape's eyes flashed. "Yes!"
"*Bad* trouble?" Draco tossed his gorgeous silver-blond mane, and locked eyes with the Potions Master.
Snape's grip on the whip tightened. "Yes," he repeated, rather breathlessly.
"Do I deserve a *spanking*, sir?" Draco allowed his robe to casually slip off one shoulder to reveal he was bare and powdered naked underneath.
Snape's breathing came out shakily, and he had to bite down on the whip to control himself. Hermione watched this little exchange with some interest. Everyone else, including Neville, went about their work. Snape's expression was a combination of rage and arousal. He leaned over Draco, placing both hands on either side of the pale, elfish Slytherin.
"I'm using the saddle on you tonight, boy. Do you hear?" His lips were inches away from Draco's. Draco smiled evilly.
"And the riding crop as well, sir?"
Snape shook as he clutched the whip even tighter. "Miss Granger!" He whirled around to glare at Hermione. "Your detention will take place *tomorrow* at eight. Wear something...low-cut."
Ron looked at Hermione sympathetically. "Bummer. What do you think he wants?"
"I don't know. I hope I won't have to pickled dragon tongues or anything gross like that. At least I have this evening free to spend in the library."
"Talking in class, Miss Granger? Add a pair of black silk nylons to that low-cut outfit!"
"Maybe she'll have to scrub the desks or something," said Ron to Harry.
~FIN~
Next chapter: Hermione serves detention...and a whole lot more!
A/N: As always any sudden changes in verb tense are entirely intentional! I had a really hot dream the other night about Lucius Malfoy. It involved rollerskates.