AS A TEENAGER
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THE PLOT! AND CHAPTER 2 IS NOW THE OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER CHAPTER! I FORGOT TO PUT ONE IN FOR CHAPTER ONE AND DECIDED THAT I DON'T WANT TO PUT A "DISCLAIMER" IN ANY OF THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS. SO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE SUING. . . PLEASE ALWAYS REFER BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF "CHAPTER TWO." THANK YOU! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!
GETTING SETTLED IN
Severus Snape quietly followed Prf. Mc Gonagall through the silent halls and let himself be lead to where he would be staying. Earlier that day to him, must have been ages and ages ago for them. No more Potter, no more Black, no more werewolf, no more impending doom, or so he thought. No more Lily. He couldn't help but think of the last thing he had said to her.
**^** flashback **^**
"What's gotten into you," screamed the seventeen year old head girl. "Why are you always trying to push people away when they get remotely close to you?" She walked right up to his face and glared daggers at him.
"Why," said Severus, "because people like you shouldn't even concern themselves about people like me! You should just go over to James and cry in his shoulders and tell him all about what evil, mean, Snape said to you, so he can come over and kick the crap out of me!" He was tired of having her around him, watching his every move, judging him, he wanted it all to end.
"What makes you think that I shouldn't care? Is it because I'm a MUDBLOOD. Is that it, Severus," asked the red head. "Or are you just afraid of what FATHER will say when he finds out that his flesh and blood is fraternizing with the dirty," she spat. Severus just stood there dumbstruck. "I know what you think of me. I'm filth that doesn't even deserve to walk the same halls you do. I don't care anymore, you just can't admit tha-"
"THAT I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU," screamed Snape. "No Lily. I can't admit that to myself. Maybe you've known longer than I have that I harbored feelings for you, it doesn't matter now," he paused, "I don't deserve walk down the same hallway as you, Lily. Because you're the one that's better," he said the last part silently. He looked into the girl's green eyes, they were brimming with tears, he took her hands, brought her close to him, and he kissed her forehead. "Go to Potter. He's probably waiting for you," he let go of her hands and walked away. He knew she was crying.
**^** end flashback **^**
"We're here," said Mc Gonagall. Severus snapped out of his trance and looked at the door in front of him. She handed him a set of keys and a class schedule. He entered the quiet, dark room. It was so depressing. It fit the mood he was in. "I've sent for some school robes," said Mc Gonagall, "they should be here in the morning. You are welcomed to join us for dinner in the Great Hall, but you may also have your dinner in here if you'd like."
"Can I have it in here every night," asked Severus. He didn't really feel like chatting it up with the students here.
"No," replied the old witch. "Nothing has changed in Hogwarts since you were here last, you should have no problem settling in," she bid him her farewell and left him with his thoughts.
'Great,' thought Severus to himself. 'Nothing's changed. Whoopdeedoo. I still have stupid jocks to deal with, know it all mudbloods, and pureblood society elitists. Oh joy.' He yawned and started to rummage through the cabinets and files. He came across an old photo album and decided to look through another time. It didn't take long before he found the pensieve. 'Oh, goody, what has my miserable life become after Hogwarts,' he thought sarcastically as he pulled out his wand and entered the pensieve.
He only stayed inside to see one memory. He couldn't handle anymore than that. Watching that really shook him up. He knew better than to disbelieve it, it was a memory, and those remain unchanged, no matter how many years pass by.
**^** in the pensieve **^**
"Severus," said an old wizened man.
"I don't want to hear it Albus," said Severus, "hearing it from you would make it true. And I don't want it to be. It just can't be true."
"But it is," said Dumbledore. "There's nothing we can do now but mourn their sacrifice. Black has fled the country, their child is staying with his only living relatives, and HE is gone."
"I could have
prevented her death,"
whispered Severus.
"I know you and Lily shared some sort of relationship back in Hogwarts," started Dumbledore, "but you cannot change what has happened. No one can. It is in the past. James and Lily ARE dead, there is no delicate way I can put it that doesn't make a mockery of their death. You will simply have to accept that fact and MOVE ON Severus." The old wizard turned and was gone.
**^** end **^**
He was in a state of shock. Lily was dead.
*****
He slept a fitful sleep that night. He kept having nightmares of how Lily died. When he would finally get some more sleep he would dream about her, and the times they spent together, then all of a sudden she would be wrenched away from his grasp and all would go black. He woke the next morning extremely disgruntle. The closet was opened, and held a set of brand new Hogwarts school robes. He sighed and got ready for breakfast.
He made his way down to the Great Hall and looked around at all the students he didn't recognize. He was pulled out of his state of wonder as a boy with jet black hair bumped into him.
"Sorry mate," the boy called back turning to see if he was hurt. Severus' eyes widened with shock. The boy that bumped into him looked just like James Potter. 'Probably his son' he thought to himself, and continued into the hall. The ceiling showed a bright sunny day, and clouds passed over head in the early morning light. Sighing he lowered himself onto the bench and began to spoon food onto his plate. Owls started to fly into the hall and dive-bombed to their owners laps, and was surprised to see that he also received a letter.
'Glad to see you made it.'
That was all it read. He looked up to the staff table and caught Dumbledore's eye. He nodded and continued being engaged in his food. It was almost classtime when Dumbledore stood up and started to address the students. He stood up and the hall quieted.
"Students," he began, "I have an announcement to make. The potions master Severus Snape will be out for the remainder of the school year." A sudden buzz of conversation started to fill the hall. "Furthermore, his son,"he cast his eyes to Severus and the hall became silent once again and eagerly listened, "Samuel, will be joining us for the rest of the school year. It would delight me if you would all treat him with the same respect you give towards his father. That is all." He sat down and the students resumed their conversations, ate their breakfasts, and filed out of the hall to go to their classes.
'This is gonna be a long year,' thought Severus to himself, and he gathered his things and started off to his first class, Care of Magical Creatures. In his absent mindedness he accidently knocked a girl down. He snapped out of his spell and helped the girl up.
"Sorry," he mumbled as he helped gather her scattered things, "wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"That's alright," replied the girl, "I've never seen you around before." She held out her hand and he shook it. "I'm Hermione Granger."
"Sev-" he caught himself, "Samuel Snape." The girls eyes widened.
"Nice to meet you," she said. He couldn't stop staring at her, she captured his eyes and added, "could you let go of my hand now?"
"Oh," he said blushing, he released her hand and apologized again.
"So what class do you have right now," asked Hermione.
"Er, Care of Magical Creatures," he answered, "Guess it was the only open class left."
"Oh. Well you'll like the class," said Hermione, "I'm headed that way right now. Walk with me. . . Samuel?"
"Call me Sam," Severus said, "and yeah, I guess I could walk you to class." He handed her the book he was holding and noticed the pin with the giant 'H' on it. 'Great,' thought Severus, 'I've been befriended by another Head Girl.'
They walked for what seemed like hours, talking about school, and other things. (He made some of his school experiences up since he didn't really associate with the student body back in his time.) They reached the clearing near the gamekeepers hut and their conversation about ethical treatment for house elves was cut short by two boys who came bounding up to talk to Hermione.
"Hey
Hermione,"
said the red
headed boy
cheerfully,
"where you
been?"
"I uh," started Hermione, "ran into Sam." She gestured to him and continued talking to her friends.
"Hermione, could we talk to you over here for a second," said the red headed one, and they dragged her off away from Severus.
He watched as her friends reprimanded her for hanging out with him. He didn't blame them. He didn't want to be here anyway. 'Hermione,' thought Severus, 'that's a weird name. Pretty, but weird. I guess SEVERUS is pretty weird too. I hate my life.' He walked away from the trio and found a spot next to a tree, far from the rest of the students.
*****
"Hermione," said Ron, "what's wrong with you?"
"I don't know Ron," said Hermione, "what is wrong with me?" She didn't really like starting the day off like this with him, but he was baiting her and she was biting back.
"Hanging out with Snape's son," he said. "How do you know he's not a spy for his father so he can get dirt on us?"
Hermione couldn't help but stare. His excuses were getting stupider and stupider. "Ron if you don't want me hanging out with other guys just say so already," Hermione replied.
Harry choked and looked towards Ron who had turned beet red.
"Okay," he said, "I DON'T WANT YOU HANGING OUT WITH OTHER GUYS."
"Now that you've finally gotten that off of your chest," said Hermione, "I'm going to go talk to Sam." She turned away from Ron and started to scan the sea of heads for "Sam."
"But you," sputtered Ron, "you said-"
"I said, if you don't want me hanging out with other guys you should just say so," said Hermione spotting Sam at the edge of the forest, "I never said that I would do it." She wheeled around and looked steadily into Ron's blue eyes, "you have no right to tell me what to do Ronald Weasley." At those words she turned away from the pair and walked over "Sam."
*****
He couldn't believe his eyes. She was really walking over to him. With the sun behind her she really looked angelic. Her brown hair falling around her face, it had a slight curl to it, he liked it.
"Sorry about back there," she gestured over to the two boys, "their a little weird about new people."
"That's alright," he said standing up and brushing the dirt off of his robes. He looked over to the pen where the animals were kept and saw that the whole class had arrived already. A large man came out of the hut and started talking to the class.
"That's our teacher," he asked skeptically.
"Er, yeah," said Hermione, "his name's Hagrid."
"Prf. Hagrid," he said, it didn't seem to sound right.
"No, uh. . . just Hagrid," interjected Hermione.
"The gamekeeper's the teacher," said Severus to himself. "Things have changed," he mumbled to himself.
"What was that," asked
Hermione from his side.
"Nothing," he said quickly. "It's just not quiet like my father had described to me," he lied, and returned his attention to the large man addressing the class. They were learning about the upkeep of large creatures, like hippogriffs, skewts, and griffins. They approached the pen that held all the animals and started to pair off, three to an animal. They were joined by a tall, blonde haired boy, that could only have been a Malfoy.
"Granger," he started and then looking at Severus, "and you would be?"
"He would be Prf. Snape's son," butted in Hermione, "Samuel."
"Oh," said the Malfoy growing interested, "I am Draco Malfoy." He stuck his hand out and Severus shook it somewhat reluctantly. He was the splitting image of Lucius Malfoy. Same platinum blonde hair, same drawl, and most likely the same dislike against non-pureblood wizards. Malfoy turned his attention back to Hermione, "Why aren't you surrounded by Potter and Weasel, Granger?"
"Why does it matter who I'm surrounded by Malfoy," said Hermione.
"It doesn't," drawled Malfoy, "I just like to amuse myself, that this may be the end of the dream team." He laughed derisively. Hermione glared at him and turned her head away.
"You know ferret," said Hermione, "I think that hippogriff's eying you."
Malfoy flustered. Severus laughed inside. The fun was cut short when the rather large gamekeeper came over and assigned the three to a rather vicious looking, extremely large grindilow. It bobbed up and down from its tank savagely, and looked just about ready to eat them. Severus groaned inwardly and followed the two to the ugly brute of a creature.
The whole class period was mostly spent trying to feed the vile thing, without getting their fingers bitten of, or being gorged by its large, pointy horn. At the end of the class the three trudged off the clearing, wet and tired. Hagrid had spent most of his time assuring the class that the animals were perfectly harmless.
"It's a'right," said Hagrid to the three, "Trixy's jus shy." He patted them all heavily on the back as they proceeded off to lunch.
(Should I continue or should I stop??)
***** AAAAHHH!!!! ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE!! EEEEEEE!! WOOOOT!!! I AM SOOOO PROUD OF MYSELF. I'M THINKING **LOVE TRIANGLE** WHADAYA THINK?? I LOVE YOU ALL SOOO MUCH, BUT I'LL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU REVIEW. SO REVIEW!!!! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS. AREN'T I JUST THE WORST AT ENDING CHAPTERS??? INSTEAD OF ENDING IN A CLIFF-HANGER LIKE MOST SENSIBLE WRITERS, I END AT A COMPLETELY MORONIC SENTENCE. *SIGH* IT'S GOOD TO BE ME. . .
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!
LOVE PEACE CHICKEN GREASE
SUPER SYCOH AWAY!!!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THE PLOT! AND CHAPTER 2 IS NOW THE OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER CHAPTER! I FORGOT TO PUT ONE IN FOR CHAPTER ONE AND DECIDED THAT I DON'T WANT TO PUT A "DISCLAIMER" IN ANY OF THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS. SO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE SUING. . . PLEASE ALWAYS REFER BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF "CHAPTER TWO." THANK YOU! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!
GETTING SETTLED IN
Severus Snape quietly followed Prf. Mc Gonagall through the silent halls and let himself be lead to where he would be staying. Earlier that day to him, must have been ages and ages ago for them. No more Potter, no more Black, no more werewolf, no more impending doom, or so he thought. No more Lily. He couldn't help but think of the last thing he had said to her.
**^** flashback **^**
"What's gotten into you," screamed the seventeen year old head girl. "Why are you always trying to push people away when they get remotely close to you?" She walked right up to his face and glared daggers at him.
"Why," said Severus, "because people like you shouldn't even concern themselves about people like me! You should just go over to James and cry in his shoulders and tell him all about what evil, mean, Snape said to you, so he can come over and kick the crap out of me!" He was tired of having her around him, watching his every move, judging him, he wanted it all to end.
"What makes you think that I shouldn't care? Is it because I'm a MUDBLOOD. Is that it, Severus," asked the red head. "Or are you just afraid of what FATHER will say when he finds out that his flesh and blood is fraternizing with the dirty," she spat. Severus just stood there dumbstruck. "I know what you think of me. I'm filth that doesn't even deserve to walk the same halls you do. I don't care anymore, you just can't admit tha-"
"THAT I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU," screamed Snape. "No Lily. I can't admit that to myself. Maybe you've known longer than I have that I harbored feelings for you, it doesn't matter now," he paused, "I don't deserve walk down the same hallway as you, Lily. Because you're the one that's better," he said the last part silently. He looked into the girl's green eyes, they were brimming with tears, he took her hands, brought her close to him, and he kissed her forehead. "Go to Potter. He's probably waiting for you," he let go of her hands and walked away. He knew she was crying.
**^** end flashback **^**
"We're here," said Mc Gonagall. Severus snapped out of his trance and looked at the door in front of him. She handed him a set of keys and a class schedule. He entered the quiet, dark room. It was so depressing. It fit the mood he was in. "I've sent for some school robes," said Mc Gonagall, "they should be here in the morning. You are welcomed to join us for dinner in the Great Hall, but you may also have your dinner in here if you'd like."
"Can I have it in here every night," asked Severus. He didn't really feel like chatting it up with the students here.
"No," replied the old witch. "Nothing has changed in Hogwarts since you were here last, you should have no problem settling in," she bid him her farewell and left him with his thoughts.
'Great,' thought Severus to himself. 'Nothing's changed. Whoopdeedoo. I still have stupid jocks to deal with, know it all mudbloods, and pureblood society elitists. Oh joy.' He yawned and started to rummage through the cabinets and files. He came across an old photo album and decided to look through another time. It didn't take long before he found the pensieve. 'Oh, goody, what has my miserable life become after Hogwarts,' he thought sarcastically as he pulled out his wand and entered the pensieve.
He only stayed inside to see one memory. He couldn't handle anymore than that. Watching that really shook him up. He knew better than to disbelieve it, it was a memory, and those remain unchanged, no matter how many years pass by.
**^** in the pensieve **^**
"Severus," said an old wizened man.
"I don't want to hear it Albus," said Severus, "hearing it from you would make it true. And I don't want it to be. It just can't be true."
"But it is," said Dumbledore. "There's nothing we can do now but mourn their sacrifice. Black has fled the country, their child is staying with his only living relatives, and HE is gone."
"I could have
prevented her death,"
whispered Severus.
"I know you and Lily shared some sort of relationship back in Hogwarts," started Dumbledore, "but you cannot change what has happened. No one can. It is in the past. James and Lily ARE dead, there is no delicate way I can put it that doesn't make a mockery of their death. You will simply have to accept that fact and MOVE ON Severus." The old wizard turned and was gone.
**^** end **^**
He was in a state of shock. Lily was dead.
*****
He slept a fitful sleep that night. He kept having nightmares of how Lily died. When he would finally get some more sleep he would dream about her, and the times they spent together, then all of a sudden she would be wrenched away from his grasp and all would go black. He woke the next morning extremely disgruntle. The closet was opened, and held a set of brand new Hogwarts school robes. He sighed and got ready for breakfast.
He made his way down to the Great Hall and looked around at all the students he didn't recognize. He was pulled out of his state of wonder as a boy with jet black hair bumped into him.
"Sorry mate," the boy called back turning to see if he was hurt. Severus' eyes widened with shock. The boy that bumped into him looked just like James Potter. 'Probably his son' he thought to himself, and continued into the hall. The ceiling showed a bright sunny day, and clouds passed over head in the early morning light. Sighing he lowered himself onto the bench and began to spoon food onto his plate. Owls started to fly into the hall and dive-bombed to their owners laps, and was surprised to see that he also received a letter.
'Glad to see you made it.'
That was all it read. He looked up to the staff table and caught Dumbledore's eye. He nodded and continued being engaged in his food. It was almost classtime when Dumbledore stood up and started to address the students. He stood up and the hall quieted.
"Students," he began, "I have an announcement to make. The potions master Severus Snape will be out for the remainder of the school year." A sudden buzz of conversation started to fill the hall. "Furthermore, his son,"he cast his eyes to Severus and the hall became silent once again and eagerly listened, "Samuel, will be joining us for the rest of the school year. It would delight me if you would all treat him with the same respect you give towards his father. That is all." He sat down and the students resumed their conversations, ate their breakfasts, and filed out of the hall to go to their classes.
'This is gonna be a long year,' thought Severus to himself, and he gathered his things and started off to his first class, Care of Magical Creatures. In his absent mindedness he accidently knocked a girl down. He snapped out of his spell and helped the girl up.
"Sorry," he mumbled as he helped gather her scattered things, "wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"That's alright," replied the girl, "I've never seen you around before." She held out her hand and he shook it. "I'm Hermione Granger."
"Sev-" he caught himself, "Samuel Snape." The girls eyes widened.
"Nice to meet you," she said. He couldn't stop staring at her, she captured his eyes and added, "could you let go of my hand now?"
"Oh," he said blushing, he released her hand and apologized again.
"So what class do you have right now," asked Hermione.
"Er, Care of Magical Creatures," he answered, "Guess it was the only open class left."
"Oh. Well you'll like the class," said Hermione, "I'm headed that way right now. Walk with me. . . Samuel?"
"Call me Sam," Severus said, "and yeah, I guess I could walk you to class." He handed her the book he was holding and noticed the pin with the giant 'H' on it. 'Great,' thought Severus, 'I've been befriended by another Head Girl.'
They walked for what seemed like hours, talking about school, and other things. (He made some of his school experiences up since he didn't really associate with the student body back in his time.) They reached the clearing near the gamekeepers hut and their conversation about ethical treatment for house elves was cut short by two boys who came bounding up to talk to Hermione.
"Hey
Hermione,"
said the red
headed boy
cheerfully,
"where you
been?"
"I uh," started Hermione, "ran into Sam." She gestured to him and continued talking to her friends.
"Hermione, could we talk to you over here for a second," said the red headed one, and they dragged her off away from Severus.
He watched as her friends reprimanded her for hanging out with him. He didn't blame them. He didn't want to be here anyway. 'Hermione,' thought Severus, 'that's a weird name. Pretty, but weird. I guess SEVERUS is pretty weird too. I hate my life.' He walked away from the trio and found a spot next to a tree, far from the rest of the students.
*****
"Hermione," said Ron, "what's wrong with you?"
"I don't know Ron," said Hermione, "what is wrong with me?" She didn't really like starting the day off like this with him, but he was baiting her and she was biting back.
"Hanging out with Snape's son," he said. "How do you know he's not a spy for his father so he can get dirt on us?"
Hermione couldn't help but stare. His excuses were getting stupider and stupider. "Ron if you don't want me hanging out with other guys just say so already," Hermione replied.
Harry choked and looked towards Ron who had turned beet red.
"Okay," he said, "I DON'T WANT YOU HANGING OUT WITH OTHER GUYS."
"Now that you've finally gotten that off of your chest," said Hermione, "I'm going to go talk to Sam." She turned away from Ron and started to scan the sea of heads for "Sam."
"But you," sputtered Ron, "you said-"
"I said, if you don't want me hanging out with other guys you should just say so," said Hermione spotting Sam at the edge of the forest, "I never said that I would do it." She wheeled around and looked steadily into Ron's blue eyes, "you have no right to tell me what to do Ronald Weasley." At those words she turned away from the pair and walked over "Sam."
*****
He couldn't believe his eyes. She was really walking over to him. With the sun behind her she really looked angelic. Her brown hair falling around her face, it had a slight curl to it, he liked it.
"Sorry about back there," she gestured over to the two boys, "their a little weird about new people."
"That's alright," he said standing up and brushing the dirt off of his robes. He looked over to the pen where the animals were kept and saw that the whole class had arrived already. A large man came out of the hut and started talking to the class.
"That's our teacher," he asked skeptically.
"Er, yeah," said Hermione, "his name's Hagrid."
"Prf. Hagrid," he said, it didn't seem to sound right.
"No, uh. . . just Hagrid," interjected Hermione.
"The gamekeeper's the teacher," said Severus to himself. "Things have changed," he mumbled to himself.
"What was that," asked
Hermione from his side.
"Nothing," he said quickly. "It's just not quiet like my father had described to me," he lied, and returned his attention to the large man addressing the class. They were learning about the upkeep of large creatures, like hippogriffs, skewts, and griffins. They approached the pen that held all the animals and started to pair off, three to an animal. They were joined by a tall, blonde haired boy, that could only have been a Malfoy.
"Granger," he started and then looking at Severus, "and you would be?"
"He would be Prf. Snape's son," butted in Hermione, "Samuel."
"Oh," said the Malfoy growing interested, "I am Draco Malfoy." He stuck his hand out and Severus shook it somewhat reluctantly. He was the splitting image of Lucius Malfoy. Same platinum blonde hair, same drawl, and most likely the same dislike against non-pureblood wizards. Malfoy turned his attention back to Hermione, "Why aren't you surrounded by Potter and Weasel, Granger?"
"Why does it matter who I'm surrounded by Malfoy," said Hermione.
"It doesn't," drawled Malfoy, "I just like to amuse myself, that this may be the end of the dream team." He laughed derisively. Hermione glared at him and turned her head away.
"You know ferret," said Hermione, "I think that hippogriff's eying you."
Malfoy flustered. Severus laughed inside. The fun was cut short when the rather large gamekeeper came over and assigned the three to a rather vicious looking, extremely large grindilow. It bobbed up and down from its tank savagely, and looked just about ready to eat them. Severus groaned inwardly and followed the two to the ugly brute of a creature.
The whole class period was mostly spent trying to feed the vile thing, without getting their fingers bitten of, or being gorged by its large, pointy horn. At the end of the class the three trudged off the clearing, wet and tired. Hagrid had spent most of his time assuring the class that the animals were perfectly harmless.
"It's a'right," said Hagrid to the three, "Trixy's jus shy." He patted them all heavily on the back as they proceeded off to lunch.
(Should I continue or should I stop??)
***** AAAAHHH!!!! ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE!! EEEEEEE!! WOOOOT!!! I AM SOOOO PROUD OF MYSELF. I'M THINKING **LOVE TRIANGLE** WHADAYA THINK?? I LOVE YOU ALL SOOO MUCH, BUT I'LL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU REVIEW. SO REVIEW!!!! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS. AREN'T I JUST THE WORST AT ENDING CHAPTERS??? INSTEAD OF ENDING IN A CLIFF-HANGER LIKE MOST SENSIBLE WRITERS, I END AT A COMPLETELY MORONIC SENTENCE. *SIGH* IT'S GOOD TO BE ME. . .
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!
LOVE PEACE CHICKEN GREASE
SUPER SYCOH AWAY!!!