"Scavenger Hunts and Satiny Surprises"
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own them and I'm still flat broke from writing this perversion.
Professor Snape burst into the Great Hall with an expression that would send most people back into osmosis.
"Someone *stole* my Orgasmatron," he exclaimed dramatically.
Everyone gasped. Ginny resembled Molly Weasley with a hot baked potato shoved up her ass. "Who the hell keeps on doing this," she demanded, leaping to her feet. "We still haven't found out who made off with the Wheel of Love."
"A sick, deranged pervert, that's who," piped up Neville Longbottom. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Well then," said Professor Dumbledore, "I propose a scavenger hunt to recover the stolen articles of pleasure."
"Let the steamy, sexual scavenger hunt begin," squeaked Professor Flitwick. A thunderous round of applause followed this statement.
Students and teachers alike separated into groups and scattered throughout the castle without any strategy whatsoever. This made little difference as people changed groups whenever the whim took them. Perhaps this explained why Draco and Harry ended up in a small, "secret" basement that had previously not existed.
"Nothing in here," said Harry with disappointment and turned to leave. Malfoy grabbed Harry's arm.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute," coaxed Malfoy soothingly. "You couldn't ask for a more shaggable setting, Potter. There's even a comfy-looking pallet over there in the corner."
Harry shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a quickie. I wonder what's in that cupboard over there?"
Malfoy rolled his silver eyes. "Twenty Galleons says the Orgasmatron and Wheel of Love are stashed in there and we, like true idiots, are about to get framed."
"Well, maybe we'll get a chance at the Orgasmatron before the entire school populus rushes in as soon as one of the sexual torture devices are in my hands." So saying, Harry walked over to the cupboard.
Again, Draco rolled his eyes and suddenly twitched. That weird *urge* was about to overtake him once more. Throwing caution to the wind, Draco fumbled with his robe and tossed it onto the floor, vaugly wondering why he bothered wearing any clothing at all.
"Yes, Potter, I realize it's grown another inch," said Draco in response to the astounded gasp the Golden Boy emitted.
"No," breathed Harry dreamily, "Look..."
Draco's eyes danced and his face glowed with enraptured joy...
Snape grumbled as he and Ron searched the endless corridors for signs of Snape's missing sexual toys. Ron continued his tirade of ceaseless bitching that had something to do with golden showers and an A minus.
"I mean how the fuck can you get an 'A' *minus* for something like that? Either you arouse the person by peeing on him or you don't," bitched Ron angrily.
"Shut up before I shove your wand up your ass, Weasley."
"You'd like to do that wouldn't you, you control freak. Boy, I'd sure like to ram my fist up your ass and see how authoritive you are then."
Snape stopped walking and leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. "I've had more fists up my ass in one year than you will have in a lifetime, Weasley."
"Oh yeah? Well how about my foot? Damn, you're hot, Professor! Come here!" Ron lunged at a stunned Snape who, after recovering from the initial shock, tried beating the lust-crazed Weasley away.
"Stop it, Weasley! Get away! Get out from under there!"
Ron Weasley had dove under the Potions Master's robes and started up Snape's skinny legs like a cat up a tree.
"Weasley, I'm warning you-stop this at once," shrieked Snape as Ron's hands skedaddled up the Potion Master's thighs and rested on his narrow hips. The panic in Snape's tone only served fuel the demented Ron Weasley's sinister lust. So it *was* true that the Potions Master didn't wear undies on Thursdays.
It was almost funny the way Snape's protesting snuffed out like an extinguished flame soon as Ron's soft, moist lips met their target. Severus Snape arched his back in ectasy and began to moan. He felt so...so very *glad* there were so many childeren in the Weasley clan.
Hermione stood in the doorway of the "secret" basement, torn between amusement and disgust. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, mortal enemies, were giggling like little girls as they played amongst piles of pretty pastel panties. The grabbed great armfulls of the frilly, satiny undergarments and tossed them into the air like confettii. Harry closed his eyes and fell backwards onto a mound of slippery, sensual heaven. Malfoy attempted to swim across the wavy sea of shimmery, perfumed panties, inhaling deeply as he did so.
"Harry, what *are* you doing," exclaimed Hermione. "And what is that nonsense Malfoy is rubbing his nude buttocks against?"
"The stuff dreams are made of, Granger," replied Malfoy. "Come in. Come in! There's plenty for all." Malfoy slowly sank into a deep pile of feminine bliss and resurfaced on the otherside of the small room.
Skepticle, Hermione waded her way into the pantified abode. Making her way over to the open cupboard she paused and examined the contents at length. What she saw took her breath away: stacks upon stacks of neatly folded panties in every color of the pastel rainbow: lilac, forget-me-not blue, dainty peach, cream, ivory, the softest of pinks and pale, sage greens.
"They're beautiful," whispered Hermione, trembling. Her hands reacted before her mind could catch up. Hermione reached into that magical cupboard and pulled out handfuls of silky, luxerient panties. Oh how she savored the cool, slick caress of those feats of triangular perfection against her skin! "They're beautiful,"Hermione cried and burst into tears of happiness she was so overcome with the unparalleled radiance of the panties. Harry and Malfoy smiled at one another knowingly.
To be continued...
A/N: Don't worry, dear reader, there's smut supreme awaiting you in the next chapter. I borrowed the Orgasmatron from the movie "Barbarella". For those of you who haven't seen it, the Orgasmatron is something like a sleeping bag attatched to an organ. One person plays different keys on the organ while the other person lies in the sleeping bag thing and gets pleasured as different tunes are played. Yes, it's a very warped movie, complete with a lava lamp monster.
I also put my own twist on a certain scene from "The Great Gatsby" (see the movie for details if you haven't already). I believe the phrase "The stuff dreams are made of" comes from the Humphrey Bogart movie "Casablanca" but don't quote me on that.
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own them and I'm still flat broke from writing this perversion.
Professor Snape burst into the Great Hall with an expression that would send most people back into osmosis.
"Someone *stole* my Orgasmatron," he exclaimed dramatically.
Everyone gasped. Ginny resembled Molly Weasley with a hot baked potato shoved up her ass. "Who the hell keeps on doing this," she demanded, leaping to her feet. "We still haven't found out who made off with the Wheel of Love."
"A sick, deranged pervert, that's who," piped up Neville Longbottom. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Well then," said Professor Dumbledore, "I propose a scavenger hunt to recover the stolen articles of pleasure."
"Let the steamy, sexual scavenger hunt begin," squeaked Professor Flitwick. A thunderous round of applause followed this statement.
Students and teachers alike separated into groups and scattered throughout the castle without any strategy whatsoever. This made little difference as people changed groups whenever the whim took them. Perhaps this explained why Draco and Harry ended up in a small, "secret" basement that had previously not existed.
"Nothing in here," said Harry with disappointment and turned to leave. Malfoy grabbed Harry's arm.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute," coaxed Malfoy soothingly. "You couldn't ask for a more shaggable setting, Potter. There's even a comfy-looking pallet over there in the corner."
Harry shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a quickie. I wonder what's in that cupboard over there?"
Malfoy rolled his silver eyes. "Twenty Galleons says the Orgasmatron and Wheel of Love are stashed in there and we, like true idiots, are about to get framed."
"Well, maybe we'll get a chance at the Orgasmatron before the entire school populus rushes in as soon as one of the sexual torture devices are in my hands." So saying, Harry walked over to the cupboard.
Again, Draco rolled his eyes and suddenly twitched. That weird *urge* was about to overtake him once more. Throwing caution to the wind, Draco fumbled with his robe and tossed it onto the floor, vaugly wondering why he bothered wearing any clothing at all.
"Yes, Potter, I realize it's grown another inch," said Draco in response to the astounded gasp the Golden Boy emitted.
"No," breathed Harry dreamily, "Look..."
Draco's eyes danced and his face glowed with enraptured joy...
Snape grumbled as he and Ron searched the endless corridors for signs of Snape's missing sexual toys. Ron continued his tirade of ceaseless bitching that had something to do with golden showers and an A minus.
"I mean how the fuck can you get an 'A' *minus* for something like that? Either you arouse the person by peeing on him or you don't," bitched Ron angrily.
"Shut up before I shove your wand up your ass, Weasley."
"You'd like to do that wouldn't you, you control freak. Boy, I'd sure like to ram my fist up your ass and see how authoritive you are then."
Snape stopped walking and leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. "I've had more fists up my ass in one year than you will have in a lifetime, Weasley."
"Oh yeah? Well how about my foot? Damn, you're hot, Professor! Come here!" Ron lunged at a stunned Snape who, after recovering from the initial shock, tried beating the lust-crazed Weasley away.
"Stop it, Weasley! Get away! Get out from under there!"
Ron Weasley had dove under the Potions Master's robes and started up Snape's skinny legs like a cat up a tree.
"Weasley, I'm warning you-stop this at once," shrieked Snape as Ron's hands skedaddled up the Potion Master's thighs and rested on his narrow hips. The panic in Snape's tone only served fuel the demented Ron Weasley's sinister lust. So it *was* true that the Potions Master didn't wear undies on Thursdays.
It was almost funny the way Snape's protesting snuffed out like an extinguished flame soon as Ron's soft, moist lips met their target. Severus Snape arched his back in ectasy and began to moan. He felt so...so very *glad* there were so many childeren in the Weasley clan.
Hermione stood in the doorway of the "secret" basement, torn between amusement and disgust. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, mortal enemies, were giggling like little girls as they played amongst piles of pretty pastel panties. The grabbed great armfulls of the frilly, satiny undergarments and tossed them into the air like confettii. Harry closed his eyes and fell backwards onto a mound of slippery, sensual heaven. Malfoy attempted to swim across the wavy sea of shimmery, perfumed panties, inhaling deeply as he did so.
"Harry, what *are* you doing," exclaimed Hermione. "And what is that nonsense Malfoy is rubbing his nude buttocks against?"
"The stuff dreams are made of, Granger," replied Malfoy. "Come in. Come in! There's plenty for all." Malfoy slowly sank into a deep pile of feminine bliss and resurfaced on the otherside of the small room.
Skepticle, Hermione waded her way into the pantified abode. Making her way over to the open cupboard she paused and examined the contents at length. What she saw took her breath away: stacks upon stacks of neatly folded panties in every color of the pastel rainbow: lilac, forget-me-not blue, dainty peach, cream, ivory, the softest of pinks and pale, sage greens.
"They're beautiful," whispered Hermione, trembling. Her hands reacted before her mind could catch up. Hermione reached into that magical cupboard and pulled out handfuls of silky, luxerient panties. Oh how she savored the cool, slick caress of those feats of triangular perfection against her skin! "They're beautiful,"Hermione cried and burst into tears of happiness she was so overcome with the unparalleled radiance of the panties. Harry and Malfoy smiled at one another knowingly.
To be continued...
A/N: Don't worry, dear reader, there's smut supreme awaiting you in the next chapter. I borrowed the Orgasmatron from the movie "Barbarella". For those of you who haven't seen it, the Orgasmatron is something like a sleeping bag attatched to an organ. One person plays different keys on the organ while the other person lies in the sleeping bag thing and gets pleasured as different tunes are played. Yes, it's a very warped movie, complete with a lava lamp monster.
I also put my own twist on a certain scene from "The Great Gatsby" (see the movie for details if you haven't already). I believe the phrase "The stuff dreams are made of" comes from the Humphrey Bogart movie "Casablanca" but don't quote me on that.