It's Back! Whoo! Yay!
A Whole Mess of Black Sheep
FallenCherub: Poppet, Do ya want to start another story?
Poppet: Yeah, definitely! Let's do one based on PotC!
FallenCherub: Ok! My character will be named Sofia.
Poppet: Mine Abi.
FallenCherub: Wow! The online version of this conversation has a lot less profanity than the real one.
Poppet: You're right!
Disclaimer: Walt Disney singing at the front of the ship: Ya pillage, ya plunder, ya rifle and loot! Sue her me hearties yo ho! I'll kidnap and ravage and not give a hoot! Sue her me hearties yo ho! (In other words, it's all Disney's)
Note: This was kicked offline earlier because it was supposedly not a PotC fanfic, but I assure you this will include Jack Sparrow. He'll be in the story later. Also, this is just a bunch of nonsense me and my friend wrote so, expect humor, not brilliance.
The ship plowed through the water, throwing white wings of sea spray into the air. None of this was visible to the miserable prisoners chained below decks, victims of a violent mutiny. The once jolly pirate ship Horizon was now a place of fear and sullen anger, soon to be two people lighter.
Sofia Drake quietly comforted her friend, Abi. Abigail Tique was the reckless, spontaneous type, compared to Sofia's careful, thoughtful manner. Both were completely mad.
"I'm sorry I got you into this, Abi," she said miserably.
Abi turned to her companion slowly. "I'm glad to be with you, Sofia drake, here at the end of all things."
There was a pause, then both girls laughed. The laughter slowly faded back into silence. The captain was dead, and those two were the only two loyals still alive.
Who knows how long that will last, Abi thought. She cocked her head to the side. "We're not moving."
"Now we can draw two conclusions from this," said Sofia scientifically, adopting a German accent.
"Yeah," Abi said sarcastically, "either we're being attacked, in which case we'll probably be left her in a sinking ship to die, or they're going to maroon or kill us. Fun."
(Abused Dancer: I want to write something! Give it to me.
Poppet: Alright, fine, but just for a little.)
"There is always the chance that we may be marooned on a beautiful island," said Sofia grimly.
"Right…and did you ever hear from the people marooned on the beautiful islands?" Abi asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"No, and that just goes to show that they enjoyed their stay."
"What we need is to be marooned on an island with lots of food and attractive natives who aren't cannibals."
"Do you think they would have clothes or…" her voice trailed off.
"Ugh! You can't be serious. We are talking about death and you are thinking about some sexy, non cannibalistic, native in a loincloth," snapped Abi.
Sofia eloquently arched one eyebrow, a distant look in her eyes and a mischievous smile on her face. Abi rolled her eyes in exasperation.
Their dialogue was interrupted by an ugly pirate with a leering grin on his face. "We're gonna have fun wiv you two!" he said in a voice lacking any semblance of intelligence.
"I think I would prefer that native," Abi muttered under her breath.
"What was that missy?" A cloud of halitosis accompanied the words.
Abi choked out a nothing and then glared at him. Sofa deliberately pushed the grimy face away. (Have no fear, ladies and gentlemen. Abused Dancer has officially been discouraged from further additions to the story with a little help from Bubba. She will no longer be contributing.)
"Oy! Stinky!" called a voice from above. "Haven't you got them girls yet? If you spoil 'em we won't be none too happy."
Stinky grudgingly unlocked the prisoners and dragged them on deck, to be pawed and leered at by ugly pirates.
"I hope they rape us!" said Abi loudly, cueing Sofia. She was not a superb actress and the words came off as loud and wooden.
"Shush, Abi," returned Sofia, catching on. "They won't rape us if they know about the CURSE!" Sofia accented the last word, making the pirates around her jump nervously.
"W-what curse?" squawked a young pirate.
"The one that eats away the manhoods of men who violate us!" said Abi, grinning evilly. Several pirates clutched the aforementioned as though fearing that simply being near the two would activate the curse.
"Yer all idiots!" The gravely voice of the once first mate, now captain, rang out across the boats. "Yer members are safe. Now, fer you two..." He gestured off to the starboard side. An island loomed in the distance about three hundred yards off. "You get off here."
The two blanched. "Yer supposed to ge' closer. Ya throw us in the brig fer two days and then expec' us ta swim tha' far yer mad!" Abi cried.
"Miss Abigail Tique, I do believe it's qui'e a contradiction when the likes o' you call anyone mad. Now ge' off me ship."
"On the contrary," said Sofia, smiling politely and bowing with all the gentility of a well born noble to the gruff pirate captain. "Ladies first."
The first mate did not fail to see the insult and grabbed the diminutive Sofia by her collar, hauling her to the newly rigged plank. Sofia walked out, examining the waters below. She licked her lips and cleared her throat. "What about all that business of a pistol wiv a single shot?"
"Do ye want the long answer or the short?" he drawled.
"I'm a bit short on time here," said Sofia, eloquently gesturing to the planks and water below.
"Fine then, no."
"Oh, come on, old chap!" she said in desperation. "It's in the code, luv!"
"We'll give one ta Miss Tique," he said, grinning. "Only one shot fer the both of ye."
"Thank God," she said, relieved. She tipped her wide-brimmed hat. "Good day, gentlemen." She walked off the end of the plank, connon-balling into the briny deep.