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Chapter 8: Zel's search

The grass crushed beneath the weight of their feet as they moved quickly through the glade. The morning sun beat down on them, trying to slow them down, but they continued on, their pace never slowing. They were so close to Saillune; she could almost see it. The sorceress and the swordsman had both been talking quite animatedly during the morning, except now a quiet silence followed them. It was Gourry who decided to break the silence first.

"Ummm….Lina? Do you think Zel's found Amelia by now?"

The redhead looked thoughtfully at the blond beside her. "You know, I have a pretty good a feeling that he did find her. Look, Saillune should just be beyond this hill…"

They continued their steady pace upwards, the thick summer air now trying to blow them away. They were so close to seeing the white walls of the city of Saillune….

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Amelia's eyes stung from crying the whole night before. She felt she had nothing left in her, no fight, no nothing, not even the will to cry. She felt tired, and drifted in and out of consciousness. It came to the point where she couldn't tell if she was dreaming or if she was awake. Her mind was littered with emotions; pain, torment, fear, anger, anguish, sadness, dismay…she could go on forever. Her mind was filled with incomprehensible whispers, her life now seeming almost ethereal. It couldn't be possibly happening…it couldn't…

And where has Reirs gone? She asked herself. Had there even been such a person as Reirs? Maybe she was right there, but Amelia couldn't see her. Everything was such a blur. And she felt so tired. She felt as if she'd lost everything, everyone; she was left with nothing, and she had no one. Her mind began to wander aimlessly, and she slowly felt herself begin to drift back into unconsciousness, where she hoped her mind would rest, but knew that no matter what it wouldn't.

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Zelgadis found himself in a small town, a town he had been in before. Tyrilles, it was called. Why do I even remember the name of this small town? He hadn't stayed for very long the last time he had been in the town. In fact, he had only stayed one night. I shouldn't really rest here…I should still be looking for Amelia. Lina and Gourry are probably at Saillune right now. The sun was disappearing behind the horizon, the last of its light kissing the small town's ground, and the building's rooftops before it disappeared. The sky began to grow increasingly dark.

He kept his face hidden by his mask and hood, keeping his eyes downcast. Maybe Amelia was here…I should probably ask someone if they've seen her. He made his way over to the tavern, where he asked for a room and ordered a coffee. He sat down in a dark corner of the room, trying to stay hidden. Why did I even give it back to her, he thought to himself as he stared into his coffee, the steam rising slowly from the rim of the white mug. Why did it upset her so much? He sighed, guessing the answer. She gave it to me as a sign of our friendship, and so that I would one day return to Saillune to give it back to her. It was a gift, and I refused it. Some friend I am…

He sipped his coffee, the hot liquid travelling down his throat to rest in his stomach. Maybe I've been ignoring my friends for too long. I'll probably never find that stupid cure anyways…damn that Rezo! He glared into his cup, and could see Rezo's face reflected in it. He almost broke the cup in his hand until he saw another face reflected on its black surface to look up at him; Amelia.

His eyes held an anxious and worried look, and the waitress approached him a bit warily. She wasn't sure what to make of a man wearing a hood and sitting in the darkest corner of the room, but his expression made him look almost helpless. He still looked very intimidating, but she convinced herself to walk over to him. She stood beside him for a while, but he didn't seem to notice, so she cleared her throat.

Zelgadis looked up to see a very lovely young woman with long blond locks, and bright blue eyes. Her body was very shapely, and she was almost as tall as Zelgadis. Her black hair looks more like soft velvet than these golden locks, and her eyes are a much prettier and brighter blue. Her body's also much more shapely…she's nothing compared to her, really…and then her realized what he was doing. He was comparing the young woman beside him to Amelia. He mentally whacked himself; he wasn't supposed to compare one girls beauty to the beauty of his friend, if he was even allowed to still call her that after what he did.

"I'm very, very…. sorry, Sir," the young woman began, looking a little uncomfortable. "You don't look too well…. are you alright? Would you like me to get you something?"

My cure, maybe, he thought to himself, but out loud he said, "Oh, no…well, actually, I'd like to ask you something. Have you seen a young woman, with short black hair and blue eyes?

The young girl looked thoughtful for a moment, tilting her head to the side, her long gold locks seeming to ripple in the light. "Nope, sorry, I haven't seen anyone. But there's been talk about a strange girl who was wandering around the streets yesterday. Maybe she's the one you're looking for…"

Zelgadis nodded, taking in this information. Giving the young girl a small tip, drinking the last of his coffee and pulling back on his mask, he walked swiftly out of the tavern's door without one word.

He found himself outside, the sky completely black, except for the dim light illuminating from the moon, hidden behind a dark cloud. I won't be able to ask around to see if anyone has seen Amelia if its dark outside. I really should wait until morning…Taking one last sweeping look of the sleeping city, he entered the tavern again and went to his room for the night. He tried to keep Amelia out of his mind, but he couldn't.

He lay in bed for hours; he couldn't seem to fall asleep. All he could think about was Amelia. She probably hates me. But then again, I doubt she ever really thought of me as more than a friend, even when she had that crush on me. I almost miss her little justice speeches and her small gestures of kindness. If L-sama gave me a gift, it was probably the gift to stick my damn foot in my mouth. Damn it all!

He sat up in his bed, and, feeling completely restless, began to pace his room. Why won't she leave me alone?! What kind of monster am I??? "Damn it!" He yelled, punching the wall hard and leaving a big hole in its wake. "Damn it…" he whispered, looking at his hand. My non-human hand…I'm not human. No matter what Amelia told me before, I'm not human. A human wouldn't have done what I did. A human is a friend. A human isn't a thing like me.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to rest, he left his room, went down the stairs, and left the tavern door, hoping that some fresh air would help. But if he wasn't a friend, then why did he care so much? I never wanted to hurt her. I thought that if she never saw me again, her silly crush on me would fade away, and then she wouldn't get hurt. She'd get married to some prince who would be able to take care of her. A person who could comfort her. Even if I found my cure, I'd probably still hurt her. Why does it even matter? Why do I even care about that now? I have to find her, and right now, that's the only thing that matters. She's the only thing that matters…

He stopped, noticing that he had been pacing. What am I thinking? I don't feel that way about her. Zelgadis, get a hold of yourself. And he stood outside in the night, leaning against the side of the tavern completely confused, trying to sort out his feelings.

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Where was she now? She couldn't tell…she couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't feel. Was she even walking, or moving? She didn't know that either. Everything was a blur of colours, all she could hear was the silent whispers in her head, and the empty screams in there as well. Was everything just a dream? It seems like it's been a hundred days since the last time I cried. And even longer since the last time I cared for anyone. They've left me all alone, and I hate them all…don't I? No, I want them to come and hold me. Father…Mother…maybe even my sister…and my friends…

She didn't even know if she was alive. Or which way was up and which way was down. Where did Reirs go? I still need to ask her some things…And then her mind was filled with images and sounds again. Blood…her mother…the screaming…so much screaming…no, stop…I don't like seeing this over and over…"Reirs!" Amelia screamed, or tried to scream, tried to yell out. "Reirs, make it stop!! Help me, Reirs, help me!!"

She couldn't even tell if she was screaming. She couldn't even tell if she was awake. She couldn't tell if she was warm or cold…but she knew one thing…. at that moment, she was scared….

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*AN: Hi all! *grins* This chapter is weird, no? I can't seem to write about Zelgadis….I can't seem to get him right. I'm not too happy about this chapter, but I guess I was happy enough to post it. I think I'll leave it up to you guys to tell me whether anyone is OOC, or if there's anything you want or something. Like more Zel. More Lina and Gourry. Or, better yet, more Phil! o.O Whatever it is, just ask, and I'll try. Zel will have a longer and bigger role from now on, and hopefully I'll be able to write his character properly! ^__^ Oh, and sorry about this chapter being so short!!!

-----Thanks to you all for reviewing! I love you all!! I hope you guys at least thought this chapter was ok. Criticize me all you want people, as long as its not necessarily a flame ^__^ Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading this fic AND for reviewing! You guys/girls are the greatest! Keep those reviews coming, and I'll keep these chapters coming!! Till next time!

-Vivi -----