This was written awhile ago, but I hope it is still enjoyable. As a reminder, if you don't like Joxer you will hate this.

These characters aren't mine they are property of Renaissance Pictures, I have only borrowed them.

Spoilers: Pretty much anything up to end of season 4 is game. Mostly "The Play's the Thing" and "For Him the Bell Tolls" and "The Quill is Mightier"

"And then of course Gabrielle made ME producer, she has excellent taste and recognized my talents right off," Joxer paused here and let the words sink into the small audience that had settled in around him. "Gabrielle tried to make some changes to her play because she was worried no one would like it, but I sat her down and said, 'Look your vision's great. They're going to love it.' Seeing my wisdom she agreed and put on her original version. Soon opening night was upon us and we were playing to a full house, but what we didn't know was Cleon, a big smelly warlord, twice the size of me, was one of the backers of the play, and he wasn't too happy had come to pound some skulls." Joxer stopped again taking a drink from his mug of ale keeping the tavern in suspense. "Luckily," he began again, "He ran in to me first. He took a swing at me but I was able to dodge it and knock him off balance causing him to fall. I took off to warn some of the players but then he was up again, coming after me! By now the play had started and I had no choice but to turn and fight him. We both pulled our swords and I quickly disarmed him." Joxer jumped to his feet to illustrate the fight. "He tried to get in a few punches, but I was too fast for him. I kicked him a few times before he leapt at me. I knew Gabrielle would be mad, but I had no choice, Cleon had to be stopped. So when he leapt at me, I sidestepped him and pushed him through the set and curtain, he landed on stage with a thud. Gabrielle turned around to see me through the hole in the set and said, 'Joxer! We're in the middle of a play!' I looked at her and shrugged and pointed to Cleon, 'Bad guy.' She gasped, and I knew it was up to me to save her. After I finished pummeling Cleon and the other badies, I tied them up explained the situation to them and got them to agree to donate their money to an orphanage. Gabrielle was so impressed she gave me a huge kiss, and thanked me for saving her." He sat back on his barstool, "And that's the end."

The people around him were talking to each other about Joxer's bravery. Joxer pleased with his great story telling ability, took another swig of his ale. Of course he knew that's not technically how the story went, but he decided he liked this version better.

Suddenly one of the men around him turned to him, "That was quite an adventure. You're a very brave man, Joxer."

Joxer nodded in agreement and puffed his chest out, "I am pretty brave, aren't I."

"Yes, if that story is true, you may be the man we're looking for to help us." At Joxer's puzzled look the man went on to explain. "My name is Genos, I'm the owner of this humble establishment. The guys and I have been talking, you see ever since you got here you've been telling stories of your adventures with Gabrielle and how you go against impossible odds, and all that," at Joxer's nod Genos continued, "Well you see we, ourselves, are in need of a hero."

Joxer tilted his head slightly, "You are?"

"Yes and that last story you just told us shows us you're the perfect man for the job."

"I am?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Genos told him slapping him lightly on the back. "With your tales this will seem so mundane! Will you help us?"

"Uhhh what's the problem?" Joxer asked. He was beginning to see that we was digging himself in a hole. He couldn't think of a plausible reason to back out of this situation without sounding like a liar or a wimp.

Genos smiled at him, "Well you see there's this big, and do I mean big dumb guy that hangs around town that has the hobby of going around smashing things. No reason why, he just likes smashing things. Anyway everyone's afraid of him, the last guy that tried to stop him got pummeled senseless." Genos laughed, "I almost feel bad for that big dumb lug he sounds like Cleon in your story. I'm sure you can stop him."

Joxer laughed uneasily, "Well you never know. Maybe I could just talk to him ya know weigh the pros and cons."

Gentos laughed again, "I like you Jox, you're such a kidder. Let me get you another drink on the house."

"All right, but can you excuse me a minute? There's something I need to check on in my room."

Gentos smiled at him, "Sure, sure. But don't be too long, I'd like to hear another one of your stories." Joxer turned and started for his room and Gentos called after him, "We appreciate what you're doing for us." Joxer turned smiled weakly at him and headed up the stairs.

Joxer closed the door and started pacing, "Oh my gods, oh my gods what am I going to do!" he thought to himself. "I can't do this! Xena warned me this was going to happen one day... Xena! That's it. I was supposed to meet them in a few days in the next town. They should be near!" He grabbed a piece of scroll out of his bag and wrote a frantic message, then went out in search of a messenger.

Gabrielle stared in wonder at the meal laid out before her. Xena had fed her nothing but fish this week and it was driving her crazy, but not this meal. The beef was cooked perfectly, the vegetables were fresh, the plates were steaming and she sucked the wonderful smell thorough her nose. But the most wonderful thing was the dessert. A moist sponge cake topped with strawberries and cream. The aroma was bliss and her mouth watered just looking at it.

"Just one moment, Miss," the waiter said. "I'll get you a fork and a knife."

Gabrielle sat looking at the food, "This is torture!" she thought to herself. After a while of waiting she finally caught sight of the waiter coming to her with her fork and knife. She took them him muttered a thank you and decided to head for the dessert first. She loaded her fork with its sweet goodness, closed her eyes to savor the first taste and moved the fork to her mouth...

"GABRIELLE!! Wake up!"

Gabrielle sat straight up and saw Xena kneeling over her. "No!" she moaned. "Xena...it was right there....and oh...how could you!!" She tried to lay down again but Xena stopped her.

"How could I what? Wake you, I let you sleep in late already! Come on I made us fish for breakfast." Gabrielle groaned again, and Xena looked at her puzzled. "What's the matter with you Gabrielle."

Gabrielle explained to Xena about her "dream meal." To which Xena responded, "Gabrielle if you're sick of fish, just tell me. I can find some rabbit."

"I'm sick of that too."

Xena sighed and said, "There is no pleasing you, is there. Now come on. Eat up we need to head out."

Gabrielle filled her plate and looked to Xena questioningly, "Head out? I thought we didn't have to leave till tomorrow."

"Plan changed. I received this from Joxer today," she handed Gabrielle the scroll.

Gabrielle took it and growled, "So this is his fault. Figures. Next time I see him I'm going to tweak his nose!!"

"Gabrielle I think you've been too hard on Joxer. He really respects you. I think you really hurt his feelings when you "tweak" his nose or pinch his ear. You treat him more like an annoyance then a friend."

Gabrielle put the still rolled up scroll on her lap. "What? Like you're any different? Xena you treat him the same way."

Xena sighed, "Yes, I did. I'm starting to see a new side of him. He's trying so hard to win our respect. Too hard. I just never really thought to see if our comments hurt him, I was wrong."

"Well, Joxer only knows I'm just playing with him. We sort of have a unspoken understandment. 'You annoy me I'll pull your nose.' He knows, he understands. I don't mean to hurt him."

Xena looked at her questioningly. "Does he?"

Gabrielle didn't respond. Instead she unrolled the scroll and began to read it. After a moment she looked at Xena. "I don't like the way this sounds, Xena."

"I know. We better hurry."

"And this is the part of town that he'll probably strike at next," Genos said as he led Joxer through the city. "People are getting pretty worried. A lot of people have left."

Joxer followed him slowly. Genos had already showed him the destruction earlier that morning. It didn't help his nerve more to see the houses smashed and destroyed, all he could think of was, "If he did that to a building was is he going to do to me?!" He noticed that Genos was waiting for some kind of response and asked, "So aaah does this guy have a name?"

Genos looked at him thoughtfully, "Ya know he doesn't really say much. He does warn the owners of the house he's going to smash it and get out. But that's about all he says. We just call him 'The Big Guy.'"

"The Big Guy, huh? He doesn't hurt the towns people?" Joxer asked thinking maybe there was some hope for him yet.

Genos shook his head. "No. Not really. The only ones he fights are the ones that get in his way."

Joxer nodded dully. "Great," he thought.

"Here let me show you the rest of the town," Genos took off with Joxer in tow, Joxer was wishing he was anywhere else except there.

"Too bad he doesn't have his bell now," Gabrielle remarked as she and Xena headed to see Joxer.

Xena looked at her, "What?"

"You know, Aphrodite, her spell," Gabrielle said, "the whole bell thing."

"Yeah," Xena said, "I remember. But I thought that got him AND you into a lot of trouble. That wasn't something I didn't think you wanted to relive."

Gabrielle shrugged, "Maybe not, but it helped him defend himself," she pause. "I just have the feeling he's gonna get hurt Xena."

Xena didn't say anything for awhile. She didn't know what she could say to make the Bard feel any better. She was having the same feeling and together they quickened their pace. Then she simply said, "We'll be there soon."

Genos and Joxer had returned to the tavern for lunch. Joxer sat silently poking at his food while entertained his patrons. What had he gotten himself into? He'd just wished Xena and Gabrielle would show up soon. Just then a frantic plumb woman came rushing in. "Genos! Genos!," she cried. "My house! The Big Guy's smashing it." Joxer stiffened and dropped his fork.

Genos turned to Joxer a serious look replaced his merry features, "It looks like your on Joxer."

Joxer slowly stood and looked at the woman. She looked at him. "Genos, tell me this isn't the man you hired." At Genos nod she continued, "Why he's just a string bean, The Big Guy will kill him."

Genos turned to her, "Mattie, you'd be surprised at this young man's heroics. Take him to The Big Guy. He'll show you."

Mattie sized up Joxer, "Well come on then. I guess you're it."

Joxer followed her out the door and smiled weakly at the patrons of the tavern and Genos. "I'll try my best to smite this evil doer," he said bravely. In his mind he thought, "Famous last words..."

Joxer heard the crashes at Mattie's house before he even saw it. "Come on!" she cried and ran. Joxer watched her run and then began to take off after her, thinking to himself, "no hurry, no hurry." But he didn't want the woman to try and stop The Big Guy and get hurt in the process. "If anyone was going to be hurt he here," he thought, "it should be me. It's my own fault opening my big mouth..."

He followed Mattie around a corner and saw him. The Big Guy. The man had to be at least 8ft tall and large around the middle. "I guess what he lacked in brains he made up in bulk," he thought to himself. The Big Guy was amusing himself by beating on Mattie's house with a shovel.

"Stop that!" Mattie yelled at The Big Guy. "Stop it!!" She looked at Joxer who had turned a shade paler. "Make him stop."

Joxer still in shock at the size of the man watched as he destroyed Mattie's house.

Mattie sighed, she grabbed a rake and ran towards The Big Guy. "Stop it!" she screamed. She swung the rake and cracked it over The Big Guy's skull. This, of course, had no effect and only snapped her rake in two. The Big Guy turned toward her, clearly angry. Mattie paled. In an instant Joxer was between the two. He gently pushed Mattie back and addressed The Big Guy.

"Uh...hi. How are you doing? You'll have to excuse my friend here. She's just upset because...well you see...this is her house and she doesn't like you smashing it." Joxer saw Mattie had moved safely away and began to back up himself. "So if you stopped it would make my life a whole lot easier."

The Big Guy sneered at him, then suddenly he wrapped his hand around Joxer's throat and lifted him up. Joxer choked, his fingers desperately trying to pry The Big Guy's hand from his neck. He found his vision clouding...but then suddenly he was on the ground gasping for breath as The Big Guy turned back to his business.

Joxer stayed there for awhile enjoying that he was breathing again, and trying to figure out what to do next. Mattie meanwhile had found a blacksmith's hammer and was running at The Big Guy again. Joxer saw her but could do nothing to stop her, it was too late. The hammer was too heavy for her to lift it to the right height and only slammed into The Big Guy's arm. The Big Guy hollered and grabbed Mattie the same way he had just done to Joxer and began to shake her. There was no other choice for him he had to fight The Big Guy, and probably die doing it, he thought. He stood and ran at The Big Guy full force, head down, hoping that the point of his helmet might make him drop Mattie.

The Big Guy was pretty solid, Joxer realized as his head butt had no affect accept make him fall on his butt. The Big Guy for his part didn't seem very pleased. He tossed Mattie aside and made a grab for Joxer again. Joxer rolled out of the way just in time and climbed to his feet. Mattie recovering from her run in, stood also and began to cheer for Joxer. "Get'm! Save my house!" Joxer shook his head at the woman's stupidity, suddenly he felt The Big Guy's fist contact his head. He fell back stunned and in pain. Before he could get up again he felt a couple well placed kicks to his side, he cried out and tried to scramble away but The Big Guy had grabbed him and hauled him up. The next thing Joxer knew he was being hurled through the air, he curled himself up in a ball as he flew trying to protect his aching head from more damage. Suddenly his back made contact with a surface, and the last thing he heard as he lost consciousness was Mattie yelling, "Not my window! You jerk!"

Xena, Gabrielle, and Argo were greeted into town with the sound of a window crashing. Xena and Gabrielle exchanged knowing glances. They had just stumbled upon the man that was destroying the peoples' houses. "Let's go," Xena said.

They entered the scene to find a huge man pick up a shovel and began beating the roof in. It didn't take long to collapse and the man laughed at his accomplishment. A rather plump woman was standing away from the man yelling profanity at him for wrecking her house.

Xena knew there was no way she could take the man one on one. He was too big. So she did the only thing she could do. After some impressive back flips she landed behind the man and used her pressure points. The man gasped as Xena cut off the flow to his brain, he tried to take a swing at her, but fell to his knees. Finally he collapsed and Xena kneeled down and took the pinch off. Several men who had been watching the incident ran up to her. "Do you guys have a jail or something here?" Xena asked. When the men nodded. Xena told them, "Well you better get him over there before he wakes up." The men with some hesitation picked up The Big Guy and took him to jail.

Gabrielle came up to Xena leading Argo behind her. "I wonder where Joxer is? I'd have thought he'd be here." Xena shrugged her shoulders at the bard and turned her attention to Mattie who was jumping up and down in joy.

"Are you all right?" Xena asked her she eyed her bruised neck with concern.

Mattie nodded, "I'm fine! Thank you! You are ten times the hero as that String Bean. You saved my house."

"String bean?" Gabrielle asked. She looked at Xena in concern. "Do you mean Joxer, Miss? We're looking for him. He's a friend of ours."

Mattie thought slowly, "Yeah, I think that's his name. He's in there." She pointed to collapsed house. "That jerk threw him thorough my NEW window..."

Xena and Gabrielle were no longer listening. Xena ran into the house, with Gabrielle at her heels. "Joxer!" they called as they sifted thorough the rubble. Suddenly Gabrielle spotted him laying curled up among the ceiling. "Xena!" she cried as she fell to her knees beside him. His face and neck were both badly bruised and his body was partially hidden underneath the fallen timber. "Joxer," Gabrielle gasped in sympathy. Joxer moaned silently as the women lifted the fallen timber off of him.

Xena kneeled next to fallen man and examined his still form. Xena looked to Gabrielle and remarked, "It looks like that armor finally came in use. It protected most of his back, but he still has fragments I'll have to take out. We'll have to rig something to carry him out on. I want to keep him on his side for now."

Together the women stretched a sheet over two long sturdy pieces of wood. Then gently they eased Joxer's limp form on it. They each picked up one side and carried him out of the house. Mattie met them at the door. "Wow," she muttered as the women walked by her, "String Bean got wasted."

Xena snorted at her. "Shut up."

"No, wait," Mattie cried as she ran up beside them. "He...well, he saved my life. The Big Guy almost choked the life from me. String Be...I mean Joxer ...risked his life for mine. Could you tell him 'thank you' for me?"

Gabrielle smiled at her sadly, "Yes. Yes of course we will."

The women carried Joxer to the tavern that Mattie had told him he had stayed. They set him down outside while Gabrielle went inside to find out where his room was.

"Excuse me," Gabrielle said to the man behind the bar. "My friend's been hurt. I was told he had been staying here."

The man stared at her. His mouth opened in shock. "By the gods," he cried. "You're her aren't you?"

Gabrielle looked at him puzzled, "I don't know what you're talking about. My friend, Joxer, was staying here. Could you please tell me which room he was in."

"Joxer's hurt?" he asked concerned.

"Yes."

"And you're Gabrielle aren't you?"

"Yes," she looked at him in confusion. "How do you....oh that's not important right now. Joxer's room?"

Genos told her and sent some men out to help them carry the man up the stairs. Genos watched sadly as the men carried Joxer still curled on his side up to his room. "This is all my fault," he thought. "I pushed him into this. But I'll make it up to him." He saw Gabrielle start to follow the men up the stairs and called her back over to him.

"What?"she asked her eyes followed Xena as she instructed the men carrying Joxer. "She probably needs me."

Genos looked at her, "Tell me what happened. What happened to Joxer? Did he stop The Big Guy?"

"Xena took care of him," she told him and proceed to tell him what had happened to Joxer.

Genos shook his head sadly, "I'm sorry."

"Mattie said you hired him. Why? Why of all the men here did you have to choose Joxer?" Gabrielle asked her tone displayed the anger she felt.

"For days he's been telling stories of your adventures together. He sounded so sincere. I thought this was right up his alley. I'm sorry."

"That's how you knew me. Joxer told you about me?" she asked.

He nodded. "You're all he ever talks about. 'Me and Gabby saved this,' 'Gabby and I did that' From what he tells me you guys are the best of friends."

Gabrielle remained silent for a minute. "He never told you that I tend to yell at him, or tweak his nose, or pinch his ear?" Genos shook his head. "I was so awful to him and he says we're the best of friends?"

"From what he said it sounded like you too were close. He never mentioned you yelling at him or hurting him. If you beg my pardon, Gabrielle, I won't tell anyone the person I loved most in the world yelled at me. That would make me very depressed."

Gabrielle sat down at the bar. Her legs feeling suddenly weak. Genos eyed her with concern, "Are you okay?"

"He...he loves me?" she asked breathlessly.

Genos looked at her in surprise, "Isn't it obvious?"

She remained silent. 'But I've been so terrible to him,' she thought. 'How could he love me?' She thought back to the whole enchanted scroll mess. Every time he tried to do something nice for me, it backfired on him. She remember waking to find the necklace laid across her. She had turned at Joxer's voice, "Do you like it?" The necklace was beautiful and she told him so. She didn't know how to proceed from there. He told her he had bought it to apologize to her. He had looked so nervous, she thought as she remembered. Then suddenly what happened next was a blur. He told her he had sold his father's scabbard to buy it for her. Unfortunately she had hidden the scroll in it. Anger and panic clouded her mind and the Joxer's gesture was pushed aside. Her next action was to yell him and then put his nose in a deathlock. She remembered his scream and cringed. Then what did she do? Tie him up. It wasn't his fault. He didn't know. Then her mind clicked back, he'd never part with that scabbard it was the only thing his father had given him. A father he had wanted to impress his whole life. Gone, just for her. She thanked the gods that Xena had "convinced" the merchant to give it back to Joxer. And the poem... 'Love's eyes,' the naked hers, by the gods...it was true.

"Gabrielle?"

She looked at Genos. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me see how blind I was. I ...I have to go."

She walked to quickly up the stairs. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how she felt. She needed time, but one thing she knew was that Joxer need her now.

Gabrielle opened the door to Joxer's room to find him moaning. He was laying on his stomach with Xena rubbing ointment on to his wounds left by the glass. She keeled next to him and squeezed his hand gently. "Hey now," she told him. "I'm right here okay?" He lightly squeezed her hand back although his eyes remained closed and face wincing in pain. "How is he?" she asked Xena.

"He'll live," Xena said, "He just won't be happy about it for awhile. There. You're done Joxer." She pulled a sheet over him. "Take a nap." Xena stood up and wiped her hands on a cloth. "What kept you?"

"The tavern owner. He's a friend of Joxer. He wanted to know how he was," Gabrielle said. She noticed that Joxer had already drifted off.

Xena nodded, "Well I don't know about you, but I'm starved, and I need to brush Argo down."

"Well I'm not very hungry right now."

"Why don't you stay up here with Joxer. He'll be fine, but I'd like to keep someone up here with him," Xena said.

Gabrielle looked down at Joxer as he mumbled something in his sleep. "I was going to suggest the same thing. There are some things I need to think about."

"All right then. I'll see you later." She bent down and gently stroked Joxer's cheek. "Give him something to eat when he wakes up."

Gabrielle nodded and watched her friend leave. She pulled up a chair next to Joxer's bed and again wondered, "How can you love me?"

Joxer groaned suddenly in his sleep. "Gabby?"

She leaned closer to him, "What is it Joxer?"

"Gabby," he was still asleep. Suddenly he flinched his hand went to his nose. "Please don't Gabby. It hurts."

Oh Joxer, she thought as she gently took his hand away from his nose and held it in her own. "I'm going to make a promise to you," she told him. "I promise not to tweak your nose or pinch ear until," she smiled at this, "until I discover how I feel about you." She paused. "I'm sorry I hurt you in the past." 'I really don't deserve your love,' she thought again. She leaned down and kissed his temple lightly. She laughed a little when she saw Joxer's lips slowly curl up into a smile.

The End, for now?