Chapter 17: Defenceless

The sun filtered into the small and cozy room through the gap in the curtains. Zelgadis wiped the sleep from his eyes as he slowly sat up, still feeling quite restless. He had had a hard time falling asleep the night before; images of Amelia had found their way into his head, and no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to wipe they away. The result of this; a very, very confused chimera. He tried in desperation to try and squeeze any and all thoughts about her out of his mind, but they always seemed to squirm out of his grip and fill his mind. Why the hell does she always pop up in my head? Must be because I'm feeling guilty about all of this…it was my fault, after all…

He sighed and pushed the warm mauve covers off of himself, and quickly dressed himself in his everyday beige getup. He sighed, looking at himself in a mirror against the wall, turning this way and that to get a better view of himself. "Disgusting," he muttered to himself, as he stared at his rock blue skin and lavender wire hair. Muttering, he left the room, his glance never once moving to look at Amelia's door as he walked through the hall to reach the stairs. He was silently thankful that he didn't have to pass her door on the way to the stairs, because the events of the night before still caused him to blush from embarrassment.

Meanwhile, in the room beside him, sat a very confused Crown Princess. She was still confused about the night before, and she knew he had changed what he was going to say. Stupid Zelgadis…why does he always have to confuse me?! Why did he barge into my room last night? And why did he look at me like that? Oh, I hate him so much. I don't even know why I'm travelling with him…

Thinking back to the night before, she remembered how she had hardly gotten any sleep, because Zelgadis' surprise visit had left her feeling very confused. He had looked so…worried…and then he looked depressed again, she thought with a sigh. Not that I really care, though, she added, once again feeling a little confused. She sighed again, and put back on the blue dress. She looked down at herself, and then turned to the large mirror and made a face. She silently wished she had her old travelling clothes, because travelling in a long dress wasn't very easy, as much as she liked wearing them.

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The day was bearable, unlike yesterday, as the wind blew by the two travellers in light, cool breezes. Amelia still walked behind him, and he still didn't turn to look at her. The day seemed to go by excruciatingly slowly for both of them, though, as they trudged along the path, hoping to make it to Saillune as soon as possible. She looked up at him, studying his back and the way he walked, and taking note of how his cape seemed to flow like a river behind him, making him seem mysterious. How can he do it? She wondered to herself, although her stare had turned into a bit of a glare as she remembered that she was still mad at him. How can anyone be so distant from the rest of the world? How can anyone find more comfort being alone than being with others? She sighed, remembering when he had given her back her bracelet; the one she had given him as a sign of friendship. But I guess he didn't want it…I guess he never wanted it. She thought back to the times when they had been travelling with Lina and the others, and for a moment her wrath-like glare at his back wavered, to be replaced by a faraway and distant look. There were times when I thought I could really get through to him…when I thought that he wasn't all that bad. And back then, I had wanted to understand him, I had wanted to help him. But Zelgadis never noticed…he was too blind, with his possible cure always on his mind. Once again, she was glowering at him behind his back, trying to burn a hole through him. L-sama, I hate him!

He was tempted to look back at her, but forced himself not to. He didn't know why he was suddenly acting so weird. Maybe I should apologize…or say something…but no, that was just start another argument, most likely…she probably doesn't even want to hear a word I have to say, though I really can't blame her. And why does she have to be so silent? But…maybe I should say something… He added, and muttered under his breath, "Damn my conscience, and damn her silence." He gave a long, laboured sigh, as his gaze rested on the movements of his feet. "When we get back to Saillune, I won't have to worry about all this anymore. I can leave her there and then go back to worry about finding my cure."

What is he muttering about? She wondered, as she heard his quiet voice. She glared at his back even harder, trying to penetrate through him to figure out what he was saying to himself. Probably something about his cure again, she thought bitterly, and peeled her gaze away from him after a moment. Her cerulean eyes began to scan the horizon in front of her, and the surroundings she found herself encircled within. There were a few trees here and there, and beyond the few trees were long rolling hills, and she took note of how the land seemed to play with the light. Her eyes moved upwards, and she noted how the sun was high in the sky. Only midday? It seems like its been at least three days…She sighed, and then let out a small cry as she felt herself trip and come crashing down onto the ground below her.

She fell face forward, her palms scratching against the rough path she now lay on. Zelgadis turned around quickly when he heard her short cry, and moved towards her as if to help her up. But she quickly helped herself up, brushing off her dress and taking a sharp breath as she felt her palms sting. The skin had come off here and there on her two palms, leaving them a bit raw and stinging painfully. Zelgadis opened his mouth, as if to ask her if she was all right, but he decided against it, and turned around to continue walking. Over his shoulder he called out, "Be more careful next time." She looked at his retreating form and scowled at him, and then followed his gait slowly.

There he goes again, acting all cold and mean again. Can't he at least, for once, start acting like a human being? Oh, how I hate him so much! A year or two after he had left her after the incident with DarkStar, her dislike for him began to grow slowly. Now, her dislike for him seemed to be in full bloom. Her fists tightened at her sides into balls for a moment, but with a gasp she opened her hands, her palms stinging even more from the pressure she had put on them. The day seemed more and more unbearable as it wore on, and Amelia began to wish that she would be able to reach her home very soon.

Zelgadis wanted to kick himself for what he had said. He had tried to sound indifferent and cold; the way he used to act when they had first met, but it didn't seem to be the best approach. Way to go, Zel…she's already extremely pissed off at me, so why don't I just piss her off even more with some stupid comment. If there had been a wall present at that moment, Zelgadis would've gladly walked up to it to start banging his head against it. The silence between the two grew uncomfortably, making Zel feel as if he would go insane, even though normally he would've welcomed silence.

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They had found another clearing, and as much as Amelia had wanted to put her tent as far away from his as possible, the clearing wasn't exactly spacious, and she didn't want to stray to close to the dark, looming trees surrounding them. Zelgadis made a fire in the middle of the clearing, and they both ate silently. Both of them had become very interested in the ground below them the whole time they ate in silence, and when Amelia had finished, she quickly moved to her makeshift bed to fall into an uneasy sleep.

Zelgadis was close to follow in her footsteps, although unlike Amelia, it took him a while before sleep could claim him. His thoughts wandered around Amelia, Lina, and even Gourry. He had a feeling that they had made it to Saillune safely, and that they had told Phil that Amelia was all right and that she would be back soon. The last thing he remembered before submitting himself to unconsciousness were the bright stars and Amelia's soft and steady breathing.

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He woke up, sweating and panting, his eyes frantically searching in panic before he remembered where he was. He dreamt about it again; he'd dreamt about Rezo, he'd dreamt about his childhood, he'd dreamt about how he had become the monster he was today…

A sound reached his ears from the other side of the burned out fire. It sounded like…what? It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark, but even before he was able to see properly, he knew who it was. Amelia…

Her brown blanket was drawn tightly around her, as she hugged her knees tightly against her chest, her petit form shuddering from an unknown chill. She had had those nightmares again…they had all seemed so real, and so vivid…she didn't want to remember her mother's death. She didn't want to see everyone else die, all because of her. Except, this time in her dream, they had all blamed her. They had all blamed her for their deaths. Her mother blamed her. Her father, her friends, her people; everyone. And those images of blood were still printed freshly in her mind, and no matter how hard she tried to shut those images out, they always seemed to seep into her mind.

But that wasn't the only thing she remembered. She remembered the night at the small lake…the night she had almost drowned. The thought scared her, frightened her to the bone. It left an eerie chill crawl down her back, and she remembered the night she had been kidnapped. The last words she had said before she had fallen asleep seemed to haunt her mind, and shatter her soul. She was defenceless now; she was a young 17 year old, a troubled Crown Princess with too many responsibilities resting on her shoulders, the one carrying too many burdens. Everything filled her mind, and she felt herself shatter beneath her own feet. Everything came flooding back, and it was all too much for her to bear. It was all pent up inside of her, and she needed to get it all out.

Amelia heard footsteps come up from behind her, and stood up to turn and look at him. She knew exactly how to get it all out of her; by yelling at him. By telling Zel how much she hated him. She would scream and shout, shriek and yell, but when she turned to look at him she felt so vulnerable and defenceless, and she didn't know what to do. They stood, silently staring into each others eyes, before she found herself break into uncontrollable tears. Her body racked violently as she cried, her pitiful form falling against his stoic one, tears streaking her olive face.

She didn't know why she was crying, and she silently cursed herself for showing him how weak she was. Zelgadis was completely surprised and totally shocked, and had no idea what to do when he found her face buried in his chest. He felt awkward, but feeling as if he had to do something in order to comfort her, he began to stroke her head uncertainly, and then ran his fingers through her hair. He was surprised at how silky it felt, and how he loved the feel of it between his fingers. He was surprised he could even feel the texture of her hair against his rocky skin, but mentally yelled at himself for finding any pleasure at the moment; Amelia was crying, and she needed comforting, and he would try to give it to her, the best he could.

He was new to this, and had no idea on what to say to her. So he just caressed her back with one hand, and her head with his other. Amelia curled her hands into fists, not even aware of how her palms no longer hurt from the fall earlier that day. She lightly pounded her fists into his chest, as she continued to sob. "I hate you…" she whispered softly, but loud enough for him to hear. "I hate you…I hate you…I hate you!" She shuddered uncontrollably, and wished she wasn't so close to him. She wanted to yell at him, to yell those words, yet her voice was almost inaudible.

She was surprised at how warm he was, and basked in his warm musky smell, and could feel the contours of his muscles underneath his clothing. She mentally yelled for even thinking like that; she hated him after all. But there she was; open, vulnerable, exposed, there, in front of him. She felt as if she fitted perfectly beside him, their bodies touching and his arms soothing and comforting, making her heart race inside her chest. She was confused, and didn't know what to do, but found comfort, standing there in his arms, but she had to let him know how she felt.

"I hate you…" she said again, her fists still pounding his chest softly. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

She was about to pound his chest again, but Zel caught her hand in his. "I know," he whispered to her softly, and she looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy from all of her crying. He stared down into a mass of sapphire, and felt as if he were soaring. Those startlingly blue eyes…

Before he knew what he was doing he bent down and closed whatever distance there had been between their faces and kissed her lightly upon her lips, revelling at how soft and warm her lips were against his. This is wrong…I should stop this. I shouldn't be doing this. But he couldn't stop, and he felt her body press closer to his. She kissed him back softly and tentatively, and his hand moved to caress her cheek, slowly travelling along her jaw line. I have to stop this. This isn't right, I shouldn't be taking advantage of her…but he couldn't stop himself. The kiss was so tender, so perfect…and when Amelia wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, they both lost themselves in a world of utter bliss.

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*A/N: AH! What have I done?!?!?! *gasps dramatically* Hmmm…I'm sorry if it seems a bit rushed ^^ Well, seems to me like they've both made up…sorta *grins mischievously* Now, this is my first time writing a kissing scene…so I hope its all right. And I've recently noticed that my notes are a bit long, so I'll try cutting them down just a tad. And Zel seemed a wee bit OOC, which you better not complain about! But, just to make sure…*takes a stick and prods Zel* Back in character! NOW!

And now, what you've all been waiting for! Your 'Five Seconds of Fame'!! Thanks to Digi-riven (Go Xellos! Muahaha!), Minimerc (What are the answers to your questions? Sore wa himistu desu!), MoroTheWolfGod (I'm still not sure if I'll go too far back into Zel's past), Filia Metallium (That was supposed to be dramatic! But…good point…my excuse will just have to be that Filia didn't want to get naked, or something…), Lauren-sama (Good thing he didn't see her sans-nightgown, eh? ^^), Winged Dancer (I WAS uploading fast…if only I could always upload that fast…*sighs*), and Kawai Fox (Yay! Ranting! Don't worry…just because they kiss, doesn't mean there isn't going to be any more angst ^^ In fact, there might even be more…maybe. And Ame will still tortue Zel…somehow…Muahahaha!)

And…there's two new people who reviewed! YAY! *jumps up and down like a very happy and sugar-high child* First, I have to apologize to Faith. I'm very sorry for not putting your name in my thankies list last chapter…but I uploaded the last chap before I ever saw your review. But you really have inspired me ^^ Thanks so much for both your reviews, and I look forward to reading more! Thanks so much! Your reviews really mean a lot to me!!! And to Graelyn, thanks so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you love my fic!! Those words mean so much to me! ^^ Thanks so, so, so much for your review!

Hey, didn't I say something about making my notes shorter? o_O Ah well, maybe next time! Thanks to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter!! Remember how I said kingdoms a while ago? I meant I'd conquer a few worlds and then I'd give them to you people! That's how much you guys rock!!!! Well, till next time, this is Vivi Laney, signing out! (Hey, I just sounded like some cheesy news reporter! NO! What's the world coming to?! It's the school's fault, I tell you, the school's!) Or maybe its just because I'm sugar high…well, later peeps! –Vivi ^^