Chapter 18: From Determination To Desolation

The morning suns rays poked through the boughs of the trees surrounding the path, where the two travellers walked in an awkward silence. The events of the night before were printed in their minds as clear as day. No matter what they did, or how far away they walked from each other, they were both always aware of the other's presence, and of how far or close they were to each other.

Zelgadis decided to keep his mouth shut firmly and not say anything; he didn't even want to look at her. He just berated himself for doing what he did, and argued with his mind as he walked, trying his hardest to keep any and all thoughts of a certain Princess out of his mind. How could I have done that? It was a question that had consumed him ever since he had woken up. He couldn't bring himself to look or talk to her, and he silently wished that he were invisible, though that was something he had wished many times before when people would stare at him. He didn't even want to think about the night before, but nothing he did kept those thoughts and images away, and every time they filled his mind, his cheeks flushed red. Images of their bodies pressed close, her lips soft and warm against his…

Damn, I have to get a hold on myself. Just concentrate on getting to Saillune as fast as possible…

Amelia felt the silence grow and grow, a silence so loud she could've sworn it was deafening. With each passing moment the urge to scream out loud continued to grow, until she was sure that she would crack. They'd both been walking fast, their paces pounding quickly into the ground below. She didn't want to think about the man she was travelling with, or about the night before, so she forced herself to think about her home. Saillune… They would reach Saillune sometime during the afternoon, and already the surrounding's looked familiar to her. She felt excited about returning home, about seeing her father and her friends, and even her city again. But just when those thoughts filled her mind, a feeling of dread washed over her.

How could I have forgotten? She asked herself, hugging her brown blanket closer to herself. She'd been so confused about Zelgadis, that she had forgotten about what Reirs had said, and the thought scared her. What if everyone's already hurt? What am I going to do? Should I tell him? Should I tell anyone? She stopped, and felt like falling upon the ground to cry. She remembered why she had even found herself in Zelgadis' strong, safe arms the night before. The time she had nearly drowned once again crept into her mind, and the images from her vivid dreams. Why? She silently asked herself, her eyes blankly staring at the path beneath her. "Why?…"

Zelgadis turned to look at her when he heard a small whisper escape her lips. She sounded so…afraid…and sad. He didn't want the same thing that happened last night to happen again, so he only moved a few inches towards her, keeping note of the long distance between them. But he still couldn't seem to say anything to her.

I've got to be strong about this. Amelia thought, pushing away the thoughts and images filling her head. Reirs said I'd be safe, as long as I'm with my friends, and when I reach Saillune, I'll be safe. I'll have father, and Lina, and Gourry to protect me. And I can protect myself. I…I have to be strong…And with Justice on my side, nothing and no one can harm me, or my friends. She sighed, and looked up to see Zelgadis watching her. She looked away quickly, and continued walking as if nothing had happened. Her jaw was set with sheer determination, and she knew that nothing and no one could harm her or anyone she held dear to her.

Nothing…

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A forest lay ahead of them, the last forest they would have to pass until they would reach her home. The great white holy city of Saillune. Saillune was less than an hour away, and the only thoughts Amelia let herself dwell on were how much she missed her home, and how she couldn't wait to reach there. But, glancing at Zelgadis, still walking ahead of her, she realized that she had to say something to him. The events of the night before were something she couldn't just forget about, and she had to understand why it had happened.

But maybe he's mad at me, she thought to herself as she stared at the chimera walking a good distance away. I…I said I hated him…what if I've just depressed him even more? She felt guilty for telling him that, but she still wasn't sure if it was true. I can't possibly hate him…or else I wouldn't be feeling so bad about telling saying those things.

She cleared her throat, feeling parched and dry. "Umm…Mr. Zelgadis?" She asked quietly, returning to formality. Zelgadis seemed to either not hear her, or was just simply ignoring her, because he just continued walking. "Mr. Zelgadis?" she asked again, a bit more loudly than before. Still, he continued walking, not once turning around to look at her. She let out a frustrated sigh and ran up to him, stopping when she found herself face to face with the chimera. Her cheeks went a bit pink, since the first thing her eyes landed on when she turned to face him were his lips, and she could remember how soft and moist they felt against hers.

Get a grip! She yelled at herself mentally, and pried her eyes away from his lips to look into his eyes. "We need to talk." She said bluntly, though she couldn't understand why her breathing seemed to quicken as he looked back into her eyes. Must be because I don't know what he's going to say, she assured herself, her gaze not wavering.

He sighed, noticing how it seemed as if she wouldn't take no for an answer, but, he really didn't want to talk to her. It felt…too awkward. "We have nothing to talk about," was all he said, his voice sounding cold and harsh as tried to move past her, but she blocked his way by stepping in front of his path again.

"You know perfectly well that we have to talk, Mr. Zelgadis."

Zelgadis sighed, and shrugged his shoulders, as if in defeat. He knew what she wanted to talk about, but he didn't want to even think about it.

She opened her mouth, but found that she didn't know what to say. Where would she start? An awkward silence ensued as she wracked her brain to think of something, anything to say. "Umm…well…about last night…" She started, but fell short. What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to ask him? Her gaze fell to her feet, and she felt his eyes on her.

Zelgadis could tell she was just as nervous as he was. He decided to tell her what he had been using to assure himself that it was just an accident. "Amelia…what happened last night…well, it was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened."

Amelia felt relief wash over her; she felt the exact same way, that last night had been one big mistake. But Zelgadis wasn't finished talking yet.

"I guess we were both emotionally troubled, and we needed some sort of comfort. So it was just a mistake, the way we handled the situation. We must've been so overwhelmed that we needed something to…I don't know. It was just a mistake, and we should pretend that it never happened." The two fell silent, and Zelgadis walked past her and continued on their way to Saillune, which she knew, was so close. But he had said 'we were both emotionally troubled', and Amelia wondered what could've been wrong with Zelgadis. She continued to follow him, but at the sound of a yell, those thoughts completely disappeared.

Zelgadis took out his sword, and stood at the ready, his face set. Those voices, Amelia thought to herself, they sound so…familiar…

"…by the power you and I posses!"

Lina! Amelia's mind screamed, seeing black dots flying in her direction in the blue afternoon sky, and a golden one just ahead of them, flying right over the trees as the black dots flew high up in the air. "DRAGON SLAVE!"

An intense wave of red shot up, and Amelia had to brace herself for the blast of air that blew past her. The golden figure from the sky slowly landed in between Zel and Amelia, with two other figures on the golden dragon's back. "Lina! Gourry! Filia!" The princess shouted as she ran up towards them, the dragon suddenly a blond woman in a pink dress and white cloak. Gourry smiled and waved when he saw the Princess, and Filia smiled also, although she looked very tired.

"Not now!" Lina cried out, and pulled the Princess along as she ran again, everyone else following closely. Filia seemed warn out and lagged behind a little bit, but Zelgadis easily caught up to Lina. "Lina! What the hell is going on?"

"That's exactly what I'm going to ask Amelia, later!" She yelled back, and the five relentlessly pounded their feet against the ground, running away from something as Amelia looked shocked, being dragged by the red-haired sorceress in total confusion.

"What are you talking about, Miss Lina?" Amelia cried out, still being dragged by the red head. "Why are we running this way?! Saillune is the opposite way!"

"I know that!" Lina snapped, her breathing heavy as she ran. But Lina still hadn't answered her question.

"Where are we going?!?!?!" Amelia demanded loudly, upset that Lina was refusing to tell her anything. And where were the apologies for saying what she had said, the night before she ran away from them? But she saw the determined look on Lina's face, and let herself be dragged.

"Any place that isn't Saillune!" Lina yelled angrily, and pulled Amelia even more forcefully when she heard the young Princess start to complain.

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The cave was dark and dank; the only sound was of the heavy and seemingly laboured breathing coming from the five worn out figures. All they could see of each other were the dark shadows that outlined their bodies; black figures against a black backdrop. The sound of water dripping came from farther down the cave, and they had walked far enough down so that the light from the outside couldn't even reach them.

"Lighting!" Lina called breathlessly, and leaned against the closest thing to her; which happened to be a very exhausted Gourry. At first the sorceress didn't notice, until after a moment she noticed his steady breathing, and then became aware of how she could feel the contours his hard but comfortable and muscled chest that she happened to be leaning her whole body against. She almost jumped away from him, but no one took notice that she had even leaned against the blond swordsman, as they were all too busy relaxing from their tiring run.

After thanking the Lord of Nightmares for not letting anyone see her lean against Gourry, Lina sat down and leaned against the cavern's wall. Amelia sat opposite her, rubbing the wrist Lina had dragged her by. It was sore and red, so Amelia used a small healing spell to take away the pain. Zelgadis seemed to sit down reluctantly, followed by Gourry. Filia had collapsed on the floor as soon as the group had stopped.

Amelia was completely confused, and a bit upset. She had been so close to home, but they had run the other way. Maybe something's happened to Saillune! Maybe something's happened to father! She thought, fear washing over her. Lina turned to look at the Princess, and knew that they both had some explaining to do.

But Zelgadis was the first to speak. "Lina, what were those things? Why weren't you at Saillune?"

Lina hesitated before she spoke. "We were at Saillune; all three of us. But…something happened…"

Amelia looked stricken. "Is Daddy ok? Nothing happened to him, right? RIGHT?! What happened?!?!"

"Amelia, calm down. It's not as bad as you think," Filia said, thought she knew it was worse, since that namagomi probably had something to do with everything. That ugly mazoku always has something to do with it!

"Is my father all right?" Amelia asked quietly, hoping with all her heart that he was. Filia turned to look at Lina, and Lina seemed to hesitate.

"We…don't know, Amelia. He left Saillune to look for you, but nobody knows what's happened to him. But I'm sure he's all right! He's your father, after all."

"No…" The word was barely a whisper from her mouth. "No…"

Gourry went up to her and hugged her. "Don't worry, Amelia. Your father is just fine, I know it."

"What happened, Lina?" Zelgadis prodded, hoping it wasn't anything too bad.

"Saillune was under attack, even when we arrived. The Saillune army doesn't resort to violence, so they couldn't fight back. All anyone could do was cast barrier spells everywhere, to protect themselves. After Phil left to help search for Amelia, Christopher was left to control the kingdom until he got back. But soon after he left Saillune, these creatures started to attack. And then…after Filia arrived, we met this woman. She says she knows Amelia, and said she knew she was all right. And she said you, Amelia, know what's going on." Lina looked expectantly at the young Princess, who looked stricken.

"Wait," Zelgadis said, not even waiting for Amelia to respond. "Who was this woman, and why did Filia show up?"

Filia's face contorted with rage. "That stupid namagomi told me to go to Saillune! I knew something must be up, but I had no other choice! I had been looking for Amelia when he came to tell me that Lina and Gourry were at Saillune, and that I should join them. Oh, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM I'LL….!!!!!" Her hand was at her mace, her face red with rage.

Gourry looked pensive for a moment. "Wait, didn't that lady say something about a ring, too? That she gave Amelia?"

A ring? Amelia asked herself, feeling tears well up in her eyes. No…it couldn't have been her, could it?

Amelia sat in a shocked silence, her eyes wide with disbelief. Of course…of course! Underneath the fold of her dress, in a small hidden pocket, was the ring Reirs had given her. It was the small silver band that had once belonged to her mother.

Her voice sounded choked as she spoke. "I…I know who that woman is. And…And I know why this is happening…" She forced herself not to cry, and felt Gourry hold her even tighter as he whispered "It's ok, Amelia…" Lina's face softened when she saw the swordsman try to comfort his friend; their friend.

She sniffled, but still she refused to let any of her tears fall down her face. She was glad that Gourry was comforting her, but it felt different, and for a moment she wished it were Zelgadis who was hugging her. Amelia felt so shocked and saddened that her mind couldn't even argue that she didn't want Zelgadis to be the one hugging her. "No," she choked out, her eyes falling to the floor. "They're after me. That woman was the one who told me. Someone's after me, and they're not going to stop. They're after me, and one of you too. It's…it's all my fault!" The tears spilled down her cheeks, everyone, looked shocked and torn. But Lina also looked angry. And Zelgadis looked annoyed.

"Oh stop it Amelia!" Zelgadis said, irritation clearly in his voice. "Stop blaming yourself. Stop wallowing in self-pity – we don't need to hear any of it. It isn't your fault, because you haven't done anything. So stop it already."

Amelia couldn't believe her hears. The nerve of him!

"Oh, you're one to talk, aren't you?" Amelia retorted loudly, glaring at him.

"Stop acting like such a child! You're a young woman, Amelia, so start acting like it," came Lina's angry voice.

Filia looked at Zelgadis and Lina reprovingly, as Amelia began to sob loudly. Lina, exasperated, and feeling bad, said, "Oh, common Amelia. Stop crying already. We aren't mad at you-"

"-It's just that we're mad at the situation, as you are," Filia finished. "We don't like this any more than you do."

"But…y-you just don't understand…." Amelia began again, wiping away her tears.

"Which is why you'll have to explain it to us, without blaming yourself every five seconds!" came Lina's annoyed voice. But her eyes were pleading.

Amelia sniffed, wiping her red-rimmed eyes. "It's all because they're after me…and that woman…you know who she is. I told you about her before, but I didn't really know who she was then. She's…she's…she's Reirs…"

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*A/N: Hmmmm, I'm not too sure about this chapter. *scratches head* What do you people think? *sighs* Ah well…Sorry if it's a short chapter. And really dark. It'll get lighter, later on, if only just a bit.

Now, I know I haven't been very quick with my chapters lately, but I've been busy with school, among other stuff. And yes, this fic comes before any and all school work, but the NHL Playoffs come before this fic. Yes, I know, you all must be shocked. *glares* And put down that branch! Hitting me on top of the head with that thing isn't going to change my mind! But look! I'm still getting these chapters done, aren't I? *sighs and turns to faithful reviewers* And hitting me on top of the head with a beer bottle isn't going to change my mind, either. But…maybe more reviews will…(hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

And now *drum roll* the thankies! *insert corny music here* A million thanks to KellyChan (thnx so much for that review! It really means a lot! *sniffs* I'm not sure about my fic being one of the best on ff.net, but reading that comment really made me happy), Digiriven (thnx so much for your review, I'm honoured that my fic is in your top 5 favs! ^_^), Filia Metallium (thnx so much for your review! Muahaha! WD and I are bringing you over to the Z/A side! HAHA!), Winged Dancer (thnx so much for your review! Too bad Ame wasn't too upset about it…ah, I'll torture Ame and Zel later. Oh, and keep it up with your fic, it's really getting good!), Faith (Thnx so much, my new faithful reviewer! ^^ Zel and Ame don't seem too sure about each other again, but that's only because I love to torture them! HAHA *cough*), Lauren-sama (thnx so much for your review! I'm REALLY glad you liked the kissing scene, and yup, it really was my first! So thanx for saying you really thought I did a good job!), MoroTheWolfGod (Oh! Was it your b-day? Or are you just humming the happy birthday song? If its your b-day, well, happy belated b-day! If not…well, happy unbirthday! Thnx so much for your review!), Kawai Fox (Thnx so much for reviewing! I'm glad you find my AN's to be amusing ^^ I'm glad you really like the kissing scene too! As for the lemon…I doubt it, but I think maybe they'll start thinking some kinky thoughts about each other, Muahaha!! I like that word…kinky ^^), Graelyn (Thnnx so much for your review also!! I think I made another cliffhanger…*scratches head* hehe, whoops? I'm glad you also like the kissing scene! ^^), and Minimerc (Sorry if I never answer your questions, its just I have to keep you wondering and I don't want to spoil anything! But Ame ain't mad at Zel anymore, but she'll probably get mad at him again sometime in the near future, seeing as I love torturing them and all. Oh, and keep up the great work with your fic!! I wanna know what happens next!)

Ah, and my newest reviewers! Welcome to the dark side! MUAHAHAHA! Ahem. Thanks a lot to Dreamsinger! I'm glad you like this fic, and don't worry; Ame will get mad at Zel again, methinks ^^ Thanx for the constructive criticism, but I fear that I'll never really be able to get Zel in character properly. But Ame should've healed herself; a very good point ^^ Thnx so much! And to America-chan, I'm glad you really like my fic, and I'm honoured that you think its one of the best you've ever read! ^^ Ame/Zel forever! ^_^ \\//

Whoa! This has to be the longest notes I've ever typed up! Yipes! Sorry!! I'm sorta going through another extremely annoying case of writers block, but I think I can write it out ^^ Thnx so much for reviewing my fic! Keep up the reviews, and I'll conquer whole universes for you guys! Well, till next time! *turns and sees a large branch again* I thought I said that you CAN'T hit me with a branch! Umm…look, over there! It's…The Lord of Nightmares! *runs for her life as soon as everyone turns around, only to get hit on the head with a branch anyways*