Never eat Ramen Near a DSL Chapter Two: Sharing can Save Your Life
Warning: The authoress has now ingested five cookies, a s'mores pop tart, and two cans of Coca-Cola. This is going to be so messed up. So just remember, you read at your own risk!
Disclaimer: I still don't own InuYasha since well; he's too damn expensive. I also don't own the Coca-Cola bottling company or Kellogg's Pop Tarts. I do however own my insanity and my email address. So this is how it's gonna be!
The falling finally ended in a grassy field, which smelled faintly of manure and sulfur. Trust me people, not something you want to bottle and sell at Bloomingdale's, hell you wouldn't try to sell it at Family Dollar! Anyways InuYasha landed in this smelly field on both legs, however this unfortunate authoress landed on her back and underfoot. The bowl of ramen happened to be the luckiest of us three, it landed safe in its bowl a yard away.
"InuYasha?" I asked when I regained a normal breathing pattern. "InuYasha, you're crushing my solar plexus, can you please get off of me?"
InuYasha looked down at me confused, he obviously had no idea what a solar plexus was, well, to be honest, neither do I. "I'm doing what to you wench?" He finally asked with all the tact of ten InuYashas.
"You're crushing me!" I squeaked out. "Get off!"
InuYasha complied and I stood on my own two feet. Something I had been wanting to do for the past three grueling minutes.
"Is that better wench?"
I glared at him. "Well, it was, until you called me wench, now I just really want to go home."
"Touchy. Look, we really should get going. There's youkai in the forest and I don't think you want to get eaten."
"You mean you don't want your ramen to get eaten." I growled.
"Exactly."
So we began to walk. And the whole thing was really boring. Extremely boring, I think I had more fun in my intro to soils and waters class. I decided to tell InuYasha that. Bad choice
"Feh, wench, be quiet!" InuYasha snapped. "I smell my brother coming this way. Sesshomaru is not known for his kindness towards humans. Except, maybe you since you go and do all that strange stuff on Saturdays."
I twirled my ponytail nervously, hey I can't help it, I have nervous tendencies in strange situations. Let me tell you, nothing is stranger than be sucked through your computer by an anime character! "Uh yeah well, you see...I...." I never got to finish my sentence because there was a crash in the brush just left and behind us and out popped the great youkai of the West himself, Sesshomaru Sama.
"Well, little brother I see you have found yourself another human wench." Sesshomaru stated coldly. Then he sniffed me, that people is one of the most embarrassing situations I've ever encountered. "She smells even stranger than Kagome. Tell me girl, what is your name?"
My head was beginning to spin. 'Girl, wench? These two are definately brothers!' I thought to myself. "My name?" I asked innocently. "My mother said I shouldn't give out my name to strangers."
InuYasha looked shocked. "But you said that you and Sesshomaru went shopping all the time!" The bewildered hanyou exclaimed. "So why wouldn't he know your name?"
"This human said I do what with her?!" Sesshomaru gasped. The usually regal looking youkai with the face of stone now sounded as shocked as InuYasha looked and his face was contorted in all sorts of directions.
"Uh, InuYasha, I was being sarcastic. You know that thing where someone doesn't mean what they say." I replied quickly, still doing the nervous hair-twirling thing.
"You lied about this Sesshomaru sama, human?" Sesshomaru had crossed the four feet of space between the bushes and me and now leaned in front of my face. "You shall die for this insolence."
'Mommy!' I thought to myself, trying not to cower. 'No, no dying. That would just suck on so many levels. Dammit think!'
"Have you anything to say before I slay you?"
"Yes, please don't do it." I answered thrusting my arms to my hips so I'd stop doing the nervousness stuff. "If you don't kill me, I'll give you this bowl of yummy ramen!" I mentally patted myself on the back for this ingenious idea and held out the well traveled bowl of instant ramen
"Foolish human. This Sesshomaru doesn't eat human food. It's beneath me."
"Hey Chibi, that's my ramen!" InuYasha whined from the sidelines.
Sesshomaru's face brightened a bit, although he tried to hide it. It seemed that the thought of taking something that his hated half brother wanted so much brought him pleasure. "On second thought, I believe I shall take your ramen human food and spare your life. This Sesshomaru is feeling generous today."
He then took the steaming Styrofoam bowl of ramen and left InuYasha and I to our own devices.
"Dammit wench! You let my brother take my ramen." InuYasha exclaimed angrily.
"Yes, and found that he's be perfect in a pink tutu. Not to mention I saved both our lives!" I sighed loudly and wished for the power to make him sit like Kagome did.
"Feh, whatever. Let's get going back to Kaede Baba's village." InuYasha began walking quickly in the direction of Kaede's village.
"Hey, wait up, baka! I don't know my way around here yet!" I hated sounding like such a whiny little girl, but hey, it was the truth. Besides, wouldn't you be tired and stressed out after being yanked through a computer and facing down Sesshomaru?
"Feh, whatever." The hanyou muttered. Next thing I know, I'm being dragged along towards the village then lifted like a sack of potatoes onto his back.
'He'd better not drop me.' I kept thinking over and over as we swooped over trees.
Fin.
Sorry about the delay. But my computer decided to vote me off the hard drive. Okay. So I hope you liked this chapter. That's really about it so review and I'll consider putting you on my Christmas/Yule/Chanukah list. Peace!