Memories Part Two: Merry
Pippin asked me to write about this, although I do not know his reason. I was mainly a bystander in this situation, so I am not sure what to write of it.
The story itself started the day of my party when I was coming of age. Becoming thirty-three was a big thing and my family had decided to have a large party for me, although it did not even closely match the greatness of my cousin Frodo's. My Father had invited almost the entire Shire to the party, especially young unmarried girls. He thought it was time for me to settle down and start thinking of a family while I trained to take his job when he died.
Fredeger Bolger was there as well as my cousins (and best friends) Frodo and Pippin. Sam, who I would only know really well later, had also been invited since I thought he might us well participate since he was in our schemes with Frodo. Fatty, as Fredeger was called before the war, had brought along his sister Estella and her friend Corona. Stella and I had been friends for a while, having only three years apart in our age. My father had noticed our friendship and he, along with numerous members of my family including Frodo, started hinting that I should continue my relationship with her. Of course for a while I ignored it but after awhile it got to me and I actually had to think about it. It didn't seem that bad after I already liked Stella a lot, and having her as a girlfriend would be a plus. So that night I planed on asking her. Fatty had already given me permission to do so, so everything was set up for it. However once I saw Corona my plans were forgotten.
I can't say my love for her was at first sight, like Pippin's was, but it was close enough. I can't really explain my love for her either. It wasn't because I was attracted to her since Stella looked almost the same, only instead of the bright green color of Corona's, her eyes were a bright blue. It was much more deeper then that. It was more then infatuation and she was all I could think about during the day. The only one who I ever told about the love I had for Corona was Stella and if you asked her she would be able to explain it better.
The problem with the situation was Pippin. He had fallen even harder then me, and she had likewise fallen for him. It was one of those true love stories. I tried to be as happy for them as much as I could. Half the time I felt jealous that Pippin had won her heart but the other half of the time I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend's true love. Estella helped me though it, allowing me to talk to her about it. I never saw how much it hurt her to see me being in love with her best friend till later when it was too late to repair all the damage it caused. But she wanted it that way, willing to be my friend and confident because of the love she had for me.
There were times when Estella and I had to make excuses for Pippin and Corona so they could be together. While the Tooks never held to the class system that seemed to run some of the shire they did believe that their son should marry someone of high standing, like Estella. Estella of course wanted no part in a romance with Pippin and he with her. They couldn't see each other in a romantic sense but only as sister and brother.. Corona was a wealthy Bucklander but she was still not as high as Estella in social ranking due to the isolationist practices of her parents. Corona's parents were looking for someone such as Frodo although I am sure they would not have minded Pippin so much if they had known that he was the future Thain of the Shire.
Four years after my party Corona and Pippin got married. Sam and I stood up with Pippin and Estella and Pippin's sister Pearl stood up for Corona. It was a beautiful summer day and the wedding was wonderful although it broke my heart to see Corona married to someone else, even if it was Pippin. The ceremony took place underneath a willow tree and the minister who performed the vows commented that it was the most wonderful selection for a wedding. It would have been better if we had told our families about it. Corona's family took it well after they learned whom she married but the Tooks did not take it as well. My Aunt Eglantine and Uncle Paladin were upset that their only son would not tell them about his wedding. They later forgave Pippin but there were a few weeks were we were afraid we had created a division in the Took family.
The two moved to a cottage I owned known as Crickhollow. I later sold it to Frodo but he told the young couple to stay there since he was lonely being alone (we didn't believe that was the true reason as we were already planning on accompanying him to Rivendell). It was happy there while it lasted.
We left for Rivendell with Frodo that September and Corona and Estella meet us before we left. I made Estella promise she would take care of my parents and Corona which she did. She cried and told me that she had a feeling that this journey would be more perilous and longer then I thought it would be. I later learned she was right. She knew even then about the ring, having followed me the day I found out Bilbo had it. I hugged her goodbye and waved to Corona who was still in Pippin's arms, the two wrapped in a last hug of love. But then they didn't know it would be the last they had
While we were away, Corona's face haunted me in a way. I never stopped thinking of her during the day. But at night when it was cold and dark, it was Stella I though of. She was a comforting reminder of home and I would sit and think of how she was too kind to me. Corona was my love, but every thought of her brought the feeling of betrayal to Pippin. I felt I had betrayed him by loving the same women. I was his best friend. It was not meant to be that way.
When we returned, we were forced to fight for our land. Pippin had gathered the Tooks and I had brought some of the Bucklanders together and Farmer Cotton brought together Hobbiton and we revolted. I blew my horn, a gift from Eomer, king of Rohan, and the battle began.
Unbeknown to Pippin and myself, Corona had managed to get into the battle herself. Pippin found her first when she was about to be stabbed by a man. The two fought along with each other, trying to protect the other one. I'm sure Pippin planned on having a talk with his wife later, but that was never to be. Corona was stabbed and she sank to the ground in Pippin's arms. I tried to save her, but in the end I failed. She spent her last moments in Pippin's arms telling him about what she left behind. I felt like my heart had been ripped out that day. Not only did I loose the one I loved, but I lost a friend as well. I almost lost Pippin as well. He spent the hour after Corona's green eyes closed clinging to her body and kept whispering for her to come back. It was Frodo who finally got Pippin to come to the Cottons to get cleaned up and sleep. No one could get him to eat. I barely could get myself to eat.
All I could think about was how I failed Pippin, I failed Corona, and I failed Stella. Half of me said that it wasn't my fault but the stronger side said it was. The stronger side won many times but the other side always held out for some reason. I did not have the thought that Corona's death was my fault taken away for many years. In fact only Pippin could have told me otherwise and for a while he too thought it was my fault.
The next day we had went to Bag End and Sarumen and Wormtongue met their demise. We then all traveled to Michel Delving to release prisoners. Freddie (as we now call him since he no longer is "fatty") and Stella had both been imprisoned. Stella had taken the brunt of it for her brother, though he never knew. She had become quite thin and was too weak to walk on her own, so I had to carry her to Crickhollow where Frodo decided we all would live for a while till Bag End completed being renovated. She instantly saw what was wrong and told me it wasn't my fault. Stella is like that. She always wants to make you feel better.
Pippin was a wreck after Corona's death. He locked himself in his room and hardly came out. He only came out to eat when Stella forced him to. Most often she used his daughter Lela and how she needed Pippin to be healthy. Lela was a perfect replica of her mother, green eyes and all. There were times looking into those eyes I started to cry I missed Corona so much. Stella took care of Lela, using the maternal part of her she has yet to use again.
Corona left both Pippin and I notes. I never saw Pippins, but I can still remember what mine had said. She had known about my love for her and had made sure to tell me it was not because of Stella. Another thing she told me that has stuck in my mind is that she believed a stronger love was there for me if I only look around. She said that was why I never tried to ask her out even when she wasn't with Pippin. I wouldn't know till later what she meant.
Pippin got better and even fell in love again. Her name was Diamond and she is the best thing Pippin could have. She knows his moods and allows him some mischief but still knows when to pull him back. They just had a baby named Faramir, named after the new Steward of Gondor. He is very adorable and has already proven himself his father's son. Lela adores him and Pippin and her have settled into a nice little family of four.
I married Estella a year after Pippin and Diamond got married. It was more for getting my father off my back about getting married then it was for love. Everyone knew that including my father. I remember Freddie coming up to me before the wedding and giving me "the warning" that every father and brother of the bride give. I realized later he really meant what he said since he knew I already had hurt his sister in a way. I had never recognized her concern for me as love, but as something a friend does. She loved me even more then I loved Corona and everyday of our marriage she had to wonder if I even could love her a little back.
Corona's memory still affects us but the feeling of having your heart taken out has worn away to just memories. I learned to love again and found Corona was right. There was a stronger love out there and that's the love between Stella and me. It wasn't an overnight love but one that grew into something that could never wear away. It had never occurred to me that you could love more then one person at same time like I did. I don't know if Stella realizes I love her, but I hope she does.
Hopefully Pippin has forgiven me for what I did. I still feel guilty about loving my best friend's wife. Hopefully Stella has forgiven me as well for all the pain I put her though. Now it is her blue eyes that haunt my days, not Corona's green.
I hope this account is detailed enough for Pippin and whatever reason he has need for it. I'm glad I admitted it once and for all what has laid on my heart for many years.
Merry Brandybuck
Master of Buckland
Pippin asked me to write about this, although I do not know his reason. I was mainly a bystander in this situation, so I am not sure what to write of it.
The story itself started the day of my party when I was coming of age. Becoming thirty-three was a big thing and my family had decided to have a large party for me, although it did not even closely match the greatness of my cousin Frodo's. My Father had invited almost the entire Shire to the party, especially young unmarried girls. He thought it was time for me to settle down and start thinking of a family while I trained to take his job when he died.
Fredeger Bolger was there as well as my cousins (and best friends) Frodo and Pippin. Sam, who I would only know really well later, had also been invited since I thought he might us well participate since he was in our schemes with Frodo. Fatty, as Fredeger was called before the war, had brought along his sister Estella and her friend Corona. Stella and I had been friends for a while, having only three years apart in our age. My father had noticed our friendship and he, along with numerous members of my family including Frodo, started hinting that I should continue my relationship with her. Of course for a while I ignored it but after awhile it got to me and I actually had to think about it. It didn't seem that bad after I already liked Stella a lot, and having her as a girlfriend would be a plus. So that night I planed on asking her. Fatty had already given me permission to do so, so everything was set up for it. However once I saw Corona my plans were forgotten.
I can't say my love for her was at first sight, like Pippin's was, but it was close enough. I can't really explain my love for her either. It wasn't because I was attracted to her since Stella looked almost the same, only instead of the bright green color of Corona's, her eyes were a bright blue. It was much more deeper then that. It was more then infatuation and she was all I could think about during the day. The only one who I ever told about the love I had for Corona was Stella and if you asked her she would be able to explain it better.
The problem with the situation was Pippin. He had fallen even harder then me, and she had likewise fallen for him. It was one of those true love stories. I tried to be as happy for them as much as I could. Half the time I felt jealous that Pippin had won her heart but the other half of the time I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend's true love. Estella helped me though it, allowing me to talk to her about it. I never saw how much it hurt her to see me being in love with her best friend till later when it was too late to repair all the damage it caused. But she wanted it that way, willing to be my friend and confident because of the love she had for me.
There were times when Estella and I had to make excuses for Pippin and Corona so they could be together. While the Tooks never held to the class system that seemed to run some of the shire they did believe that their son should marry someone of high standing, like Estella. Estella of course wanted no part in a romance with Pippin and he with her. They couldn't see each other in a romantic sense but only as sister and brother.. Corona was a wealthy Bucklander but she was still not as high as Estella in social ranking due to the isolationist practices of her parents. Corona's parents were looking for someone such as Frodo although I am sure they would not have minded Pippin so much if they had known that he was the future Thain of the Shire.
Four years after my party Corona and Pippin got married. Sam and I stood up with Pippin and Estella and Pippin's sister Pearl stood up for Corona. It was a beautiful summer day and the wedding was wonderful although it broke my heart to see Corona married to someone else, even if it was Pippin. The ceremony took place underneath a willow tree and the minister who performed the vows commented that it was the most wonderful selection for a wedding. It would have been better if we had told our families about it. Corona's family took it well after they learned whom she married but the Tooks did not take it as well. My Aunt Eglantine and Uncle Paladin were upset that their only son would not tell them about his wedding. They later forgave Pippin but there were a few weeks were we were afraid we had created a division in the Took family.
The two moved to a cottage I owned known as Crickhollow. I later sold it to Frodo but he told the young couple to stay there since he was lonely being alone (we didn't believe that was the true reason as we were already planning on accompanying him to Rivendell). It was happy there while it lasted.
We left for Rivendell with Frodo that September and Corona and Estella meet us before we left. I made Estella promise she would take care of my parents and Corona which she did. She cried and told me that she had a feeling that this journey would be more perilous and longer then I thought it would be. I later learned she was right. She knew even then about the ring, having followed me the day I found out Bilbo had it. I hugged her goodbye and waved to Corona who was still in Pippin's arms, the two wrapped in a last hug of love. But then they didn't know it would be the last they had
While we were away, Corona's face haunted me in a way. I never stopped thinking of her during the day. But at night when it was cold and dark, it was Stella I though of. She was a comforting reminder of home and I would sit and think of how she was too kind to me. Corona was my love, but every thought of her brought the feeling of betrayal to Pippin. I felt I had betrayed him by loving the same women. I was his best friend. It was not meant to be that way.
When we returned, we were forced to fight for our land. Pippin had gathered the Tooks and I had brought some of the Bucklanders together and Farmer Cotton brought together Hobbiton and we revolted. I blew my horn, a gift from Eomer, king of Rohan, and the battle began.
Unbeknown to Pippin and myself, Corona had managed to get into the battle herself. Pippin found her first when she was about to be stabbed by a man. The two fought along with each other, trying to protect the other one. I'm sure Pippin planned on having a talk with his wife later, but that was never to be. Corona was stabbed and she sank to the ground in Pippin's arms. I tried to save her, but in the end I failed. She spent her last moments in Pippin's arms telling him about what she left behind. I felt like my heart had been ripped out that day. Not only did I loose the one I loved, but I lost a friend as well. I almost lost Pippin as well. He spent the hour after Corona's green eyes closed clinging to her body and kept whispering for her to come back. It was Frodo who finally got Pippin to come to the Cottons to get cleaned up and sleep. No one could get him to eat. I barely could get myself to eat.
All I could think about was how I failed Pippin, I failed Corona, and I failed Stella. Half of me said that it wasn't my fault but the stronger side said it was. The stronger side won many times but the other side always held out for some reason. I did not have the thought that Corona's death was my fault taken away for many years. In fact only Pippin could have told me otherwise and for a while he too thought it was my fault.
The next day we had went to Bag End and Sarumen and Wormtongue met their demise. We then all traveled to Michel Delving to release prisoners. Freddie (as we now call him since he no longer is "fatty") and Stella had both been imprisoned. Stella had taken the brunt of it for her brother, though he never knew. She had become quite thin and was too weak to walk on her own, so I had to carry her to Crickhollow where Frodo decided we all would live for a while till Bag End completed being renovated. She instantly saw what was wrong and told me it wasn't my fault. Stella is like that. She always wants to make you feel better.
Pippin was a wreck after Corona's death. He locked himself in his room and hardly came out. He only came out to eat when Stella forced him to. Most often she used his daughter Lela and how she needed Pippin to be healthy. Lela was a perfect replica of her mother, green eyes and all. There were times looking into those eyes I started to cry I missed Corona so much. Stella took care of Lela, using the maternal part of her she has yet to use again.
Corona left both Pippin and I notes. I never saw Pippins, but I can still remember what mine had said. She had known about my love for her and had made sure to tell me it was not because of Stella. Another thing she told me that has stuck in my mind is that she believed a stronger love was there for me if I only look around. She said that was why I never tried to ask her out even when she wasn't with Pippin. I wouldn't know till later what she meant.
Pippin got better and even fell in love again. Her name was Diamond and she is the best thing Pippin could have. She knows his moods and allows him some mischief but still knows when to pull him back. They just had a baby named Faramir, named after the new Steward of Gondor. He is very adorable and has already proven himself his father's son. Lela adores him and Pippin and her have settled into a nice little family of four.
I married Estella a year after Pippin and Diamond got married. It was more for getting my father off my back about getting married then it was for love. Everyone knew that including my father. I remember Freddie coming up to me before the wedding and giving me "the warning" that every father and brother of the bride give. I realized later he really meant what he said since he knew I already had hurt his sister in a way. I had never recognized her concern for me as love, but as something a friend does. She loved me even more then I loved Corona and everyday of our marriage she had to wonder if I even could love her a little back.
Corona's memory still affects us but the feeling of having your heart taken out has worn away to just memories. I learned to love again and found Corona was right. There was a stronger love out there and that's the love between Stella and me. It wasn't an overnight love but one that grew into something that could never wear away. It had never occurred to me that you could love more then one person at same time like I did. I don't know if Stella realizes I love her, but I hope she does.
Hopefully Pippin has forgiven me for what I did. I still feel guilty about loving my best friend's wife. Hopefully Stella has forgiven me as well for all the pain I put her though. Now it is her blue eyes that haunt my days, not Corona's green.
I hope this account is detailed enough for Pippin and whatever reason he has need for it. I'm glad I admitted it once and for all what has laid on my heart for many years.
Merry Brandybuck
Master of Buckland