Never Eat Ramen Near a DSL
Chapter Three: Let's all Stand Back and Admire The Wonder That is Miroku
Authoress' Warning: There is none!
Disclaimer: Uh, hello, why do I need one of these things again? Oh yeah, because I don't own InuYasha. All I own is myself and this insane idea. Dammit!
InuYasha and I finally arrived in what must've been Kaede baba's village. As we touched down I noticed a semi-familiar group of people gathering in front of a hut. There was a girl in a Japanese school uniform, a girl wearing a kimono with a rather large boomerang strapped to her back, a small boy who resembled a fox, and of course a young man who looked like a priest. These people were Kagome, Sango, Shippou, and Miroku.
"Oy InuYasha!" Called Kagome as the hanyou came to a rather bumpy landing. "Where did you run off to again?"
"Gomen, Kagome, but...."InuYasha began to blush tomato red and stutter.
"But he jumped through my computer on my DSL connection and tried to steal my ramen." I explained quickly.
The young school girl looked from the hanyou she was about to sit to me, the poor displaced person. "And who are you?"
"I'm Chibi."
"No you're not." Miroku interrupted.
"I am too Chibi," I retorted, then began digging around in my jeans pockets for any type of ID which would prove me to be Chibi. But wouldn't you know it? I left everything at home.
"Young lady, you're not chibi." Then the young monk took both my hands in his and began his most overly used pick up line. "Miss, would you bear my child?"
"I...I can't. I'm sorry."
"Why not?"
I pretended to think really hard then found my reply, "Because I'm just not quite ready to be in a relationship with a man of your stature and presence."
Miroku fell over in a dead faint and the rest of the group just gave me strange looks.
"Ano...miss, what did you say to him?" The demon exterminator asked cautiously. I guess she must've been afraid I'd do something to her as well.
"Nothing really. I don't even know if it made sense." I began doing my nervous twirling gesture again.
"Oh."
"Don't worry Sango." InuYasha called from behind us. "I think that Miroku is just so amazed at not being slapped. He'll get over it."
Miroku sat up and looked dazed and confused. "Get over what?" Then he looked from me to Sango and quirked up one eyebrow. "Why, Sango have I told you how beautiful you look in this sunset?"
Grope!
Wack!
Sango responded to the monk's advances with her hiraikotsu.
"Cool, I didn't know I could do something like that instead." I picked up a shovel and called out, "Hey, houshi Sama, ask me again."
"Uh no thank you miss." Miroku replied shaking, his face had paled noticeably.
"I thought so."
"So, what is your name?" Sango asked after we had left the Miroku subject.
"My name is Chibi. I came from the other side."
"You mean you're dead?"
"No, I mean that InuYasha reached through my computer and kidnapped me for some ramen."
"Ano, Chibi san? What's a computer?"
"Uh...it's...dammit! It's like a typewriter that has a screen and you can save things."
"What's a typewriter?"
"It's uh...." I had to think harder for this than I did for my reply to Miroku. Thankfully, Kagome came to my rescue.
"It's like a scroll and ink, only the ink is on stamps." The schoolgirl offered
"Oh." Replied the exterminator, but she didn't sound too convinced or enlightened. Maybe Kagome shouldn't rescue anyone else.
"Oookay, so, when do I get to go home?" I asked suddenly. There was a lull in the whole damned conversation and I really did want to get back home even if I didn't like where I lived.
Miroku had recovered from the attacks to his head and came over by us girls to converse." Hmm, maybe you can use the Bone Eater's well like Kagome sama?"
"I don't think so." Replied Kagome.
"I think I'd end up in modern day Japan if I did go through the well." I said.
"You aren't from Kagome's era?" Asked the monk, he was obviously confused. "You're dressed like her."
I was wearing a faded blue t-shirt that had Empire State Riding Academy in yellow letters and a horse and rider jumping through the words and a pair of dark blue jeans. "I am from her era."
"Then why don't you want to end up in modern Japan?" Countered the dim-witted monk.
"Because I'm not from Japan." Was my reply
"Then where are you from?"
I fought the urge to say 'I'm from Uranus because that would just get him more confused. "I'm from America."
Miroku, Sango, and InuYasha opened their mouths to ask what America was, so I held up my hand. "Your countrymen haven't discovered it yet. It's a country half way around the...." I stopped and noticed the blank looks I was getting. "Oh, forget it, I just can't get back home through the well."
InuYasha looked hurt, I was beginning to think that he did want me to go. Either that, or he was just really upset with me for giving Sesshomaru the ramen even if it did save our lives. I was about to ask him if he'd rather I had let him be killed by Sesshomaru when Miroku opened his mouth with an idea.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to go home with Kagome anyway and walk home from there." The monk replied seriously. Honestly he looked as though he had found the cure for migraines or something. Actually I think I would've laughed at his comment if my entire future wasn't at stake.
"She can't walk home from my era Miroku," Kagome announced calmly. "She'd have to walk across water."
"Okay then back to the-what was that expression you used Kagome Sama?"
"Drawing board." InuYasha supplied sulkily.
'Gods, what a child.' I thought to myself, then my stomach growled. I hoped someone else's did the same thing so I could avoid looking like a greedy person. Luckily Fate seemed to feel I had received enough troubles for one day and let InuYasha's stomach do the talking.
"Kagome, do you have any ramen left from your last trip to your time?" he asked in a pitiful voice. InuYasha sounded so pathetic that if he hadn't called me so many names earlier, I would've felt bad for the poor guy.
"Oy, InuYasha you must have a bottomless pit for a stomach, but it is time for supper I guess." Kagome replied while turning to her humongous yellow backpack. The girl then proceeded to pull out fifteen large bowls of ramen. Not those little Maru chan cup-o-noodles that Wal*Mart sells either, the good ones with the kanji and the spices. The kind they sell in the international foods section at large grocery stores. The ones that my husband stocks up on and eats like there's no tomorrow. I began to hope I wasn't drooling.
Fifteen minutes later we were all sitting around an improvised campsite on the outskirts of the village eating the good ramen. Okay, they were eating the ramen, I was trying to maneuver my chopsticks then eat the noodles before they all fell back into the bowl. InuYasha found this funny and I wanted to dump my bowl of ramen on that guy's head. Of course, Miroku decided to some up with another ingenious idea.
"Why don't you just eat it with your hands instead of using the chopsticks?" he asked perplexed.
"Because hot things hurt." I replied, thinking longingly of my eight place setting silverware set back in my apartment. I had forks back home. Somehow I managed to finish the ramen by the time everyone was getting ready for bed.
Okay, did you like it or hate it? Just think, this one was out two weeks after the last chapter! Okay well uh, review for me please. I hope this story is still up to par with my readers.
Stories under construction:
Queer Eye for the Hanyou guy- I'm getting ready to start the fifth chapter this Tuesday after Queer Eye
Advice from Big Brother-Second chapter is almost finished, but it needs some refining. Expect chapter 2 Sesshomaru's first Piece of Advice next week-hopefully.
I Believe in Love- My first GW/SM fan fiction, along with my first romance. Chapter two Wide Open Spaces is in the works right now and should be out by Thursday.