[WARNING: Aerith(Aeris) death contained, so if you are disturbed by that, remember, you WERE warned.]
Disclaimer: Sadly, Final Fantasy VII does not belong to me.
Tifa's Illness Cloud sat on the floor inside the Golden Saucer waiting patiently for Tifa and the other's.
"Where are they!? They should have been here an hour ago!" Cloud exclaimed.Just then, the slightest sounds of scrambling through the door was heard. Cloud jumped up from the ground, and ran to check who it was. Disappointed by only seeing Nanaki, Yuffie, and Vincent walk in, he turned the other way, hoping that they wouldn't notice him. While Yuffie talked to Vincent, she had her head turned away, not worrying if she was going to bump into anything or not, she took more steps untill she felt her body run into something.
"Oww, Who's that?" Yuffie said, turning around to see Cloud right infront of her.
"Anyone but me.." Cloud muttered.
"Hey, it's Cloud!" Nanaki said happily and jumped on Cloud, knocking him onto the ground.
"No, really? I thought it would be Tifa." Yuffe joked.
"Reunion's over, where the hell is Tifa?!" Cloud pouted
"Oh, Nanaki, this question's all yours. Answer away!" Yuffie told Nanaki, as she started to drag Vincent out the door, eager to get away from Nanaki and Cloud. Cloud just looked at Yuffie in a questioning way, but said nothing. Well...Tifa's..kinda...ill. I don't know why Yuffie couldn't have just told you. It seemed kind of odd, and why'd she drag Vincent with her!?
Meanwhile, outside Yuffie was clung to Vincent.
"..Yuffie, what are you doing?" Vincent questioned.
"Nothing! Gawd, you're so suspicious, Vinnie!" Yuffie stated as she quickly unclung from Vincent Just then, Cloud and Nanaki stepped out of the Golden Saucer. "How was it? Did he..freak on you at all, Nanaki?" she asked, feeling slightly uneasy.
"Why would he freak on me? His gir--Tifa is JUST sick."
"Bastard! It's not JUST It's IS." Cloud yelled angrily. Cloud lowered his head and looked at the ground before continueing "..the thought of her sick..is just too hard to bare.."
"Don't act so hurt, you know you've wanted this. Now you can take advantage of her like you told me, Nanaki, and Cait--" Vincent started to say.
"Shut up, you idiot! Yuffie IS here. She might tell Aerith OR even worse..Tifa!" Cloud cut him off.
"Oh, c'mon. I doubt that they would believe her anyways. I mean, jeez, who would believe--" Nanaki was starting to say just as Cloud and Vincent heard a loud sound, like someone getting slapped against the bare skin. Cloud looked at Vincent, Vincent looked at Cloud. "Nanaki, I don't think you should have--" Vincent and Cloud both started at the same time. Another loud sound went off. Cloud and Vincent quickly looked in Nanaki's direction to see him lying on the ground, two hand marks on each side of his---face. Redder then his fur.
"We tried to.." Cloud said, as he let Vincent finish what he was saying.
"warn you.." Vincent finished.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you two failed." Yuffie stated bluntly. Yuffie crosses her arms, and looks over at Cloud and Vincent, seeing fear in their faces. "That should teach you NEVER to talk about me that way again!" Yuffie yelled at the three guys.
"Can we go see Tifa now?! I'm worried. She may be in trouble or need something!" Cloud asked worriedly.
"Don't worry, Barret and Aerith are taking care of Tifa. We have plenty of time to waste." Yuffie cried cheerfully, before continueing, "But wait.. Wasn't Aerith asleep when we left?"
"Yeah, what about Cait?" questioned, looking at Yuffie.
"He doesn't count. He's in Costa Del Sol remember?" Yuffie stated.
"Yeah..but--" Vincent was cut off before he could finish what he was saying.
"NO WE DON'T! HOW COULD YOU THREE IDIOTS LEAVE TIFA WITH BARRET!? HE
MIGHT DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO HER!! AERITH WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO STOP HIM!" Cloud shouted. Just then, Aerith walked up to the group, smiling joyfully. "What's wrong everyone?" Aeris asked, her smile fading.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU STUPID WHORE?!" Yuffie yelled-questioned her. Before anyone could notice, Yuffie swiped all her materia. "Is there anything at all wrong with me being here, Yuffie?" Aerith asked nevously
"Ok. This may not be so me like...but Aerith, you moron, she called you a damn whore, meaning yes, there is a problem with you being here." Nanaki stated bluntly.
"..Aern't you guys being a little harsh?" Cloud asked, just as nervously as Aeris
"No!" Yuffie and Nanaki answered quickly.
"Yes..she does deserve it..but do we really have to stoop so low?" Cloud asked as his eye twitched from being nervous.
"Yes, we actually do." Vincent surprisingly answered for everyone.
Vincent pulled out his gun and pointed it at Aerith. Pulling the trigger, he watched the bullet hit Aerith right in the heart as she fell instantly to the ground as a tear dropped streamed down her cheek in pain. Cloud, Yuffie, and Nanaki watched her body fall to the ground, sur[rise showing in their faces. Vincent sheathed his gun, and looks back at the rest of the group, noticing their faces and continued talking. "Problem solved." he said, as if everything was all la-de-da now.
"Well, that is true..it's solved..Now..CAN WE GET BACK TO TIFA?" asked, he was beginning to get annoyed.
"Someone sure is impatient.." Vincent muttered.
"Can't you tell he isn't impatient he's just really worried about her?" Nanaki spoke up to no one in particular.
"Yeah..but it's obvious that he loves her, and that--" Vincent was once again cut off by Cloud, and it was beginning to bug him.
"Shut up! I do not love her, I'm just..concerned about someone in AVALANCHE! ave a problem with that?!" Cloud stated, annoyed.
"Can we gooo now?" Yuffie whined
"Hold on. There's only one more thing I need to do." Nanaki said as he walked up to Aerith's dead body, kicking it hard so that it flew a couple of yards.
"There," Nanaki said grinning, "let's go now!""Heeeeey! I wanna kick it too!!" Yuffie once again whined.
"Childish.." Vincent stated as she took her turn kicking the dead corpse of belonging to Aerith.
"C'mon, Vinnie, It's fun! You gotta try it!" Yuffie ordered instantly.
"Ok..Good for it, and no, I don't want to kick..it." Vincent surprised by his to join the little kick-the-corpse game.
Cloud sighed and took his turn kicking the body, but didn't stop untill Nanaki pulls him away using his teeth.
"Oh, what the hell. Everyone else did it..I guess I will, too." Vincent stated meakly.
Vincent kicked the body aswell, not holding back, sending the body flying into a ditch.
"Faaaaaar!" Yuffie cried out and turned back to Cloud, Nanaki, and Vincent, "Now can we go?!"
"Yes." all three said at once.
"Yay!" Yuffie called out.
So Nanaki, Vincent, Cloud, and Yuffie traveled back to Kalm on the train. Cloud worrying about Tifa the whole way back, Vincent shining his gun, Nanaki sleeping, and Yuffie 'borrowing' materia from the other passengers on the train. After arriving at Kalm, everyone burst out of the train, and, ofcourse, Cloud ran off to the big house that everyone lives in together.
"Tiiiiiiiiffffffaaaaaaaa." cried out as he ran upto the house, surprised at himself at how long he could say the same word once for, "Just hold on, your dear Cloudness is coooming!"
Yuffie, Vincent, and Nanaki back up a little bit, watching Cloud run like there's no tomorrow..actually not even as fast as a walk, but whatever. They watched him slow-motion all the way there.
"He is..." Yuffie started.
"Odd.." Vincent continued
"I didn't.. " Nanaki continued after Vincent was finished continueing
"Realize that.." Vincent said, a hint of terror in his voice.
"Untill now." Yuffie calmly finished.
Cloud reached AVALANCHE's headquatres, bursted in, and ran past the kitchen, past Barret who was spun around by the force of the run, through the bathroom..and the bathroom wall, and straight into Tifa's room.
"Cloud.." Tifa said weakly. Tifa's hand gently reached her hand out to Cloud, who placed her hand in his.
"Tifa, my dear, I was afraid that Barret was going to do something most horrible to you.." Cloud practically choked out the words, worry in his voice.
"What the hell is that 'Tifa my dear" crap? Is this some sort of romantic scene or something? I mean, c'mon. I--" Tifa started to get angry, but her heart melted when Cloud placed his hand on Tifa's cheek gently.
"Yes..it's supposed to be...I guess. But, all that matters right now..is that I love you, you awesomely hott babe." Cloud confessed.
Just then, Barret burst in, in only a towel.
"What the fuck is this? "Tifa my dear," and all that "I love you" shit, and of course she's hott! I mean..jus' look how big her breasts are!" Barret stated, checking Tifa out.
Yuffie walked in, and smacked Barret on the top of the head for his rudeness.
"Fuckin' bitch. Hit me 'gain and I'll kill ya!" Barret threatened.
"Dispicable." Yuffie said disgusted, "Don't see Tifa for her breasts, see her for who she is."
"No way. A woman is nothing without a man, and the man is nothing without his woman's--" Barret started to argue but was cut off by what seemed like a very angry Tifa.
"Can you two change the subject already? ISN'T ANYONE THE LEAST BIT WORRIED ABOUT ME?!?!!? I AM THE DAMN SICK ONE HERE. SHOW SOME CONCERN. Oh, and stop interrupting my damn love-like scene's. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR CLOUD TO SAY ALL THAT SHIT WITH YOU AROUND? VERY HARD. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, AND LET HIM CONTINUE!" Tifa screamed at all but Cloud who was in the room.
"Jee'. Someone's cranky," Barret said to no one in particular.
"No, she's PMSing," Yuffie said lazily.
Yuffie and Barret ran out of the room, in fear that Tifa might do something drastic.
"Finally.. Anyways, here take this..I've been keeping it incase anything ever happened to you.." Cloud smiled at Tifa as he reached into his left pocket and pulled something out and placed it in the palm of Tifa's hands.
Tifa blinked in surprise, "what the hell am I supposed to do with a condom?"
Cloud's face turned red as he quickly apologized and took the condom back, and reaching into his opposite pocket and pulled something out, but before giving it to her, he checked it to make sure it was the right thing this time.
"Well..ok." Tifa said taking the pill and swallowing it using the glass of water she had that was mysteriously beside her for some odd reason.
Just as Tifa was swallowing it, Yuffied rushed in yelling "Noo! Take that and the fan fic's over!!!"
"Too late.." Cloud said unhappily.
Tifa and Cloud lived together forever, and eventually got their own room..and some privacy. They made sure they locked the door each night before settling down and going to sleep. Cait Sith..came back from Costa Del Sol with lipstick on his face..oddly enough. Cid disappeared to somewhere sometime before the fic, so he wasn't counted as anything. Yuffie and Vincent eventually got together..in a few years later, ignoring their age differance..or not really caring about it enough to complain about all the years they had apart.
The End
A/N - This fic might have been odd to some people..but I hope you enjoyed it! Why not take a minute to be kind enough and..review it?