Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you recognize from the works of Tolkien, the
Master of fantasy.
Author's notes: My fingers must move faster! I trying to get this up before Erestor gets off the computer. Your review made me so happy! You're my favorite person ever, Erestor. If you were a boy and it was politically correct, I would say I love you more than... sliced bread (I would say cheese, but I hate cheese). So, let me stop babbling and write fast!
IMPORTANT: I was Dimgwrthien, but someone whom I wish to kill deleted the account... so...
It started with a Ring. A hobbit destroyed it, the end. Next, a group came about, was stuck on Earth, and made a house. That failed as Erestor burned it down. So, they went to the Valinor again. Everyone was mad. And Faramir spilled boiling water on Eowyn after he found out he was King of Gondor. And the world was dealing with these people... So it begins.
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"We're baaa-aack!" Eowyn was heard from the door. Her, Dimgwrthien, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli had been out for the past few hours.
You see, the two girls thought for no good reason. Then they decided that no one in the house had style.
Not that anyone needed style, as they lived with a ton of people old enough to be dead.
And dead people don't seem to have any fashion sense.
But how would I know?
I'm eleven and alive.
But that is totally off topic and my teacher would kill me for talking about this stuff.
So, the two girls dragged off the poor little people under five feet and brought them to a mall that was made in the Valinor. It was a normal mall, the complete opposite of Erestor's creation of Mirkwood Mall.
The girls came back with the short people, dressed, made-overed, and unhappy (for the boys' parts, at least).
Eowyn had gotten her hair cut to shoulder-blade length and highlighted a very bright golden color. She also picked out a skirt with flowers on it and a red shirt with no back. Faramir was not at all disappointed. All but for the fact that Eru was checking his wife out.
Dimgwrthien had her hair cut to shoulder length and flared out on the ends. Her top was close fitting and looked wrinkly (that was part of the design), and had low rise patched jeans.
Gimli was stuck wearing a green vest over a bright yellow shirt and blue jeans. Eowyn and Dimgwrthien spent two hours fixing them to fit Gimli, All they used was a paper clip, coffee, Erestor's newspaper, Christina's (me) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book, and Erestor's (that's a person I know!) school book.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Somewhere in the randomly chosen state of Nevada, two girls were walking down the street and happened to bump into each other. Well, more like one walked into the other and both tripped into the gutter. It was Christina's fault. The girl by the pen name Erestor gave her a look that only an alien wearing too much make-up ever got.
"My favorite book is missing," the one who caused this meeting to happen pouted randomly. She was a creature of randomness.
"My school book is missing," the other added sagely. Christina nodded.
"How incredibly random," both commented at the same time.
"I'm looking for a person I met on this website who goes by some crazy pen name of Ere-"She was cut off by a passing truck. Erestor just used the smile and nod technique.
"I'm looking for a newt," she responded.
Both walked away from this chance meeting.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pippin and Merry both had their hair cut and wore baggy pants and pollo shirts. Frodo and Sam looked the same.
"Why did we have to do that?" asked Gimli, ripping off the vest. His hair wasn't cut because the stylist ran, screaming, when he sat down in the spiffy spinny chair.
Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo followed Gimli upstairs to be boys (meaning joining the boys, eating, burping, farting, and other 'manly' activities that girls cannot do because we are not gross enough).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Meanwhile, Eru had the Valar and Vala join him in a 'magestic meeting of the wits in a lower dungeon as not to have oafs walking about', which meant 'join me in the bathroom of my house so that those retards can't interrupt our planning of getting rid of them'.
Nienna nodded along to Eru's new plan. "Are you sure it'll work? Look at your last tries."
Eru thought. Images from when he tried burning, killing, stabbing, and taunting people to rid of them came to mind. "No," he answered.
Ulmo blinked. Manwe coughed. Nienna's new cat choked on a hairball. Eru sighed. What a ton of idiots.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Erestor had been drugged by Glorfindel a few hours earlier, and now, anyone unlucky enough to pass Erestor's room, would have heard Thranduil lecturing an unconscious Erestor on everything in a very motherly tone.
Lindir sat at the desk in the office, a real office, not a bathroom, drawing a picture of the group. Elrond supervised and made sure that he didn't give anyone a mustache, except Aragorn. Lindir giggled quietly as he added a curly mustache on Elrond, a twirling beard of Rumil, and large eyebrows on Haldir. Happily, he drew in the Valar, and, in the best part of the picture (between himself and a toad), he drew Eru with a twirly beard, large eyebrows, and a curly mustache.
"I'm done!" he happily yelped, running to the fridge to post the work of art.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The odd girls that, by chance walked into each other, turned back and headed to each other again.
"Do you like candy?" asked Christina. Erestor shrugged.
"I guess so." She paused. "Why?"
Christina, having the brain power of... 5x10 to the –1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 power, the memory of an ant, and the attention span of nothing, ignored her.
"My name's Christina, but they call me Meejeet."
Erestor nodded. "They call me Ere-"Someone started up their lawn mower.
"Nice to meet you, Erewrrrreeeeeeeeearrrrggggghhhhahhhhhmyhandisfreakinkillinme*." They shook hands.
"You said you were looking for a newt?" asked Christina. Erestor shook her head.
"I found it."
"Ah." Christina paused, trying to think of something to make this conversation interesting. "You wanna burn stuff?"
Erestor shrugged and they headed off.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Why do I always smell fire?" Faramir asked Eowyn, sniffing at the air.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, there is another chapter. My internet may be out, but I'll try to post now... Dod dododod. Lalala. One second. Erm. Doesn't work.
* = She started saying Erestor (Ere-), the lawn mower wnet on (- wrrrreeeeeeeeee-), the man got hurt (-arrrggggghhhhhahhhhhh! My hand is freakin killing me!)
Author's notes: My fingers must move faster! I trying to get this up before Erestor gets off the computer. Your review made me so happy! You're my favorite person ever, Erestor. If you were a boy and it was politically correct, I would say I love you more than... sliced bread (I would say cheese, but I hate cheese). So, let me stop babbling and write fast!
IMPORTANT: I was Dimgwrthien, but someone whom I wish to kill deleted the account... so...
It started with a Ring. A hobbit destroyed it, the end. Next, a group came about, was stuck on Earth, and made a house. That failed as Erestor burned it down. So, they went to the Valinor again. Everyone was mad. And Faramir spilled boiling water on Eowyn after he found out he was King of Gondor. And the world was dealing with these people... So it begins.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"We're baaa-aack!" Eowyn was heard from the door. Her, Dimgwrthien, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli had been out for the past few hours.
You see, the two girls thought for no good reason. Then they decided that no one in the house had style.
Not that anyone needed style, as they lived with a ton of people old enough to be dead.
And dead people don't seem to have any fashion sense.
But how would I know?
I'm eleven and alive.
But that is totally off topic and my teacher would kill me for talking about this stuff.
So, the two girls dragged off the poor little people under five feet and brought them to a mall that was made in the Valinor. It was a normal mall, the complete opposite of Erestor's creation of Mirkwood Mall.
The girls came back with the short people, dressed, made-overed, and unhappy (for the boys' parts, at least).
Eowyn had gotten her hair cut to shoulder-blade length and highlighted a very bright golden color. She also picked out a skirt with flowers on it and a red shirt with no back. Faramir was not at all disappointed. All but for the fact that Eru was checking his wife out.
Dimgwrthien had her hair cut to shoulder length and flared out on the ends. Her top was close fitting and looked wrinkly (that was part of the design), and had low rise patched jeans.
Gimli was stuck wearing a green vest over a bright yellow shirt and blue jeans. Eowyn and Dimgwrthien spent two hours fixing them to fit Gimli, All they used was a paper clip, coffee, Erestor's newspaper, Christina's (me) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book, and Erestor's (that's a person I know!) school book.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Somewhere in the randomly chosen state of Nevada, two girls were walking down the street and happened to bump into each other. Well, more like one walked into the other and both tripped into the gutter. It was Christina's fault. The girl by the pen name Erestor gave her a look that only an alien wearing too much make-up ever got.
"My favorite book is missing," the one who caused this meeting to happen pouted randomly. She was a creature of randomness.
"My school book is missing," the other added sagely. Christina nodded.
"How incredibly random," both commented at the same time.
"I'm looking for a person I met on this website who goes by some crazy pen name of Ere-"She was cut off by a passing truck. Erestor just used the smile and nod technique.
"I'm looking for a newt," she responded.
Both walked away from this chance meeting.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pippin and Merry both had their hair cut and wore baggy pants and pollo shirts. Frodo and Sam looked the same.
"Why did we have to do that?" asked Gimli, ripping off the vest. His hair wasn't cut because the stylist ran, screaming, when he sat down in the spiffy spinny chair.
Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo followed Gimli upstairs to be boys (meaning joining the boys, eating, burping, farting, and other 'manly' activities that girls cannot do because we are not gross enough).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Meanwhile, Eru had the Valar and Vala join him in a 'magestic meeting of the wits in a lower dungeon as not to have oafs walking about', which meant 'join me in the bathroom of my house so that those retards can't interrupt our planning of getting rid of them'.
Nienna nodded along to Eru's new plan. "Are you sure it'll work? Look at your last tries."
Eru thought. Images from when he tried burning, killing, stabbing, and taunting people to rid of them came to mind. "No," he answered.
Ulmo blinked. Manwe coughed. Nienna's new cat choked on a hairball. Eru sighed. What a ton of idiots.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Erestor had been drugged by Glorfindel a few hours earlier, and now, anyone unlucky enough to pass Erestor's room, would have heard Thranduil lecturing an unconscious Erestor on everything in a very motherly tone.
Lindir sat at the desk in the office, a real office, not a bathroom, drawing a picture of the group. Elrond supervised and made sure that he didn't give anyone a mustache, except Aragorn. Lindir giggled quietly as he added a curly mustache on Elrond, a twirling beard of Rumil, and large eyebrows on Haldir. Happily, he drew in the Valar, and, in the best part of the picture (between himself and a toad), he drew Eru with a twirly beard, large eyebrows, and a curly mustache.
"I'm done!" he happily yelped, running to the fridge to post the work of art.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The odd girls that, by chance walked into each other, turned back and headed to each other again.
"Do you like candy?" asked Christina. Erestor shrugged.
"I guess so." She paused. "Why?"
Christina, having the brain power of... 5x10 to the –1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 power, the memory of an ant, and the attention span of nothing, ignored her.
"My name's Christina, but they call me Meejeet."
Erestor nodded. "They call me Ere-"Someone started up their lawn mower.
"Nice to meet you, Erewrrrreeeeeeeeearrrrggggghhhhahhhhhmyhandisfreakinkillinme*." They shook hands.
"You said you were looking for a newt?" asked Christina. Erestor shook her head.
"I found it."
"Ah." Christina paused, trying to think of something to make this conversation interesting. "You wanna burn stuff?"
Erestor shrugged and they headed off.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Why do I always smell fire?" Faramir asked Eowyn, sniffing at the air.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, there is another chapter. My internet may be out, but I'll try to post now... Dod dododod. Lalala. One second. Erm. Doesn't work.
* = She started saying Erestor (Ere-), the lawn mower wnet on (- wrrrreeeeeeeeee-), the man got hurt (-arrrggggghhhhhahhhhhh! My hand is freakin killing me!)