Chapter 5

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Sara knocked on the door and a few seconds later it cracked open.

"Sara."  He looked half surprised, half concerned.

"Hey."

He swung the door open to let her come in, neither bothering to ask whether she wanted to come in nor waiting for her to ask him if she could.  He walked back to the living room couch where he had been watching television, letting her close and lock the door behind her.  She took a seat next to him, and they watched TV in silence for several minutes.

He quickly became reabsorbed in the show he was watching; he knew that if Sara was going to tell him what was wrong, she'd do so when she was good and ready.  He knew it was probably something about the lab explosion that was bothering her; it was bothering everyone.

"Why'd you have to rat me out to Grissom?" she finally spoke, a trace of bitter anger in her voice.

"Huh?"  He was a little taken aback.  He wasn't expecting to be the reason she was upset.

"He said Brass wasn't the only one who told him about me pulling my gun on our suspect."

"Yeah, I might have mentioned something to him."

"You weren't even there.  It had nothing to do with you," she glared at him.

"So?  I can't be concerned?" His eyes remained fixed on the TV screen in an attempt to quell his mounting anger.

"I don't need to be babysat."  Her tone was biting.

"I hardly think charging into an apartment of a dangerous potential killer qualifies as being mature and experienced," he shot back.

"I can take care of myself.  What is your problem?" she raised her voice.

"What is your problem?" he countered, finally turning to look at her.

She let out an exasperated sigh and quickly got up, heading for the front door.

"Hey!" he called out as he followed her, not satisfied with how they had ended the conversation.

Sara unlocked the door and managed to get it open a few inches before he reached past her and slammed it shut.

"We're not finished," he said sternly.

"Yes we are," she glared.  She attempted to open the door, but he was firmly holding it closed.  "Nick," she warned.

"I know this isn't just about me talking to Grissom," he looked at her.

She stared back at him in silence, her gaze still narrowed.

Nick sighed.  "Look, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but you're not leaving until you at least apologize."

"Me, apologize?" she looked at him in disbelief.  "I think you've got it backwards."

Nick rolled his eyes.  "So what if I talked to Grissom?  Brass told him anyway."

"That's not the point, Nick," she replied angrily as she stormed back into the living room.

"Well then what is it?  Please, enlighten me!" he retorted as he followed her.

Sara slumped onto the couch and angrily crossed her arms in front of her.  She turned away from Nick, for two reasons.  The first was that she didn't have a point since Nick was right in assuming this wasn't about him talking to Grissom.  It was about Grissom's rejection, but there was no way she was going to tell Nick that.  The second was that she didn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Well?" Nick demanded, waiting for an answer as he stood angrily with his own arms crossed.

Sara avoided his gaze for as long as she could, finally turning to face him when she realized that fighting back her tears was going to be a losing battle.

When Nick realized she was about to cry, all of his anger completely dissipated and turned to fear and concern.  In the three years he had worked with her, he had seen her get upset more times then he could count, but he had never seen her cry before.  "Sar, what's wrong?" he sat down next to her.

She managed to compose herself enough to prevent a full-fledged bawling episode, but couldn't stop a few tears from trickling down her cheek.  "Sorry," she muttered an apology through her sniffles.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize," he comforted her as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her toward him.  "It's okay.  You've been through a lot in the past forty-eight hours."

He left her briefly to retrieve a box of tissues for her but sat right back down and replaced his arm around her as she wiped her eyes and nose.  She leaned against him and they sat in silence as their attention drifted to the TV, which was still on.  After watching for an hour, Sara unconsciously yawned.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Nick asked.

Sara didn't respond at first.  "Um, can I stay here?  I don't really feel like being alone right now.  I can just sleep on the couch."  Her tone was tentative.

"Yeah, of course," Nick didn't hesitate to answer.  "But I'm taking the couch.  You're sleeping in the bed."

"Nick, I'm off tonight.  You have to work, you should take the bed."

"Don't argue with me Sara, you're not sleeping on the couch," he insisted as he got up and headed for his bedroom.

Too tired to push the issue further, Sara followed him to the bedroom.

"You can change into these."  He handed her one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweat shorts.

"Thanks."

He closed the bedroom door behind him and grabbed a blanket from the hall closet before heading out to the living room couch.  He sat down and let out a heavy sigh, the worry he felt for Sara consuming him.  He'd never seen her like this before, so scared and vulnerable.  She had jumped right back into work after the explosion, and aside from the crazy notion that she thought she was Super Cop, she seemed fine.  But he should have known better than to think the explosion wouldn't have much of an affect on her.  Of course it would.  It would be impossible for someone to experience something like that and then just move on like nothing happened.

Sara changed out of her clothes and climbed into bed.  Her eyes immediately started to well up as she thought back on her life over the past few months.  Hank had used her.  Grissom had rejected her.  She doubted her shambled, pathetic love life could get any worse.  She almost laughed at Nick's assumptions as to why he thought she was upset that night.  The DNA lab exploding right in front of her eyes was the least of her problems.

Nick let out a final sigh as he lay back onto the couch and tried to get comfortable.  Before he could, however, he heard a barely audible noise coming from the direction of his bedroom.  Sara.

As he approached he could hear her quiet sobs through the closed door.  He knocked softly.  "Sara?"  He received no answer so he slowly opened the door and poked his head inside.  "Sar?  You okay?"

She sat up but continued crying.

He walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.  "Hey, it's okay.  Shhh," he tried to soothe her as he held her in his arms.  "I'm here, you're okay."

Sara wrapped her arms around him and cried on his shoulder for a good thirty minutes before her tears started to subside.  She lifted her head from his shoulder and noticed his tear-stained shirt.  "Sorry," she sniffled.

"It'll dry," he gave her a gentle smile.  His thumb wiped the tears from her cheek.  "Feeling better?"

"A little."

When it was apparent she didn't want to talk about it, Nick let her go and attempted to get up, but felt Sara's grip around his waist tighten.

"Stay?  Please?  Just until I fall asleep."  She begged with her eyes.

Without giving it a second thought, he wordlessly crawled under the blankets, despite the fact that under any other circumstances he would have found the situation extremely awkward, since he, or any other heterosexual male for that matter, would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit attracted to Sara.

As he lay next to her, she reached for his hand to pull his arm around her, guiding him to spoon against her.  She let out a sigh as Nick could feel her tense body beginning to relax, and within a few minutes they were both fast asleep.

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When Nick awoke he immediately realized he was alone.  He strained his ears to listen for any signs that she was still in his house, but was met with only silence.  He got up and found a piece of paper on the kitchen table with two words scribbled in Sara's chicken scratch.

Thanks.

Sara

He managed a small smile as he realized that she was feeling better, at least a little bit.  He still wanted to make sure she was okay, so as he hurried to get ready for work, he made a mental note to swing by her apartment after shift.

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Nick rushed down the hall, knowing he was late.

"You're late, man," Warrick said to Nick as he and Catherine were coming out of the break room.

"I know, I know.  What's on the menu tonight?"

"Grissom has your assignment.  He's in his office," Catherine replied.

"I thought he was off?"  Nick looked puzzled.

Catherine shrugged.  "He said he's just here for a couple hours.  Some kind of important paperwork."

"Oh."  Nick continued down the hall to Grissom's office.  He knocked on the slightly ajar door before entering.  "Sorry I'm late."

"419 down the street at the Fremont," was all Grissom said as he handed Nick the assignment slip.

"Okay."  Nick turned for the door.

"Have you seen Sara?" Grissom asked before Nick could leave.  "Since the end of last shift, I mean."  She had stormed off after he had turned down her dinner offer and was curious as to how she was doing.  He figured if anyone knew, it would be Nick.

"Uh, yeah.  Why?"

"I, uh, was just wondering how she was doing.  After the explosion and all," he lied.  He assumed that Sara wouldn't have told Nick about what had happened between them, and he certainly didn't think it was appropriate for Nick to know about it.

"Oh.  Well I think she's feeling better."  Nick was intentionally vague.  Even though he knew it probably would have been better to tell Grissom the entire truth, he knew Sara had come to him because she trusted him, and he would never break that trust.

"That's good."  Grissom returned his attention to his paperwork, signaling the end of the conversation.

Nick managed to get through shift without thinking about Sara, but as soon as it was over, she was the first thing that came to his mind.  He rushed into the locker room to store his gear and head for Sara's place.

"Hot date, Nick?" Catherine teased with a smile when she noticed he seemed to be rushing.

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.  "No."

"Have you talked to Sara since yesterday?" Catherine asked, wondering if she was doing okay.

"I'm actually going to see her right now," Nick replied.

"Oh.  Well tell her I said hi."

"Will do.  You going to see Greg?"

"Yeah.  I'm gonna go pick him up.  They're releasing him today."

"Cool.  Tell him I said hey."

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When Sara looked through the peephole to see who had knocked on her door, she couldn't help but smile.

"Hi," Nick greeted with a smile when she opened the door.

"Hi," she smiled back.

Nick noticed the yellow rubber gloves on Sara's hands.  "Have you been cleaning?" Nick's tone was almost accusatory.

"Yeah, so?"

"You should be taking it easy, Sara," he scolded.

Sara rolled her eyes as she stepped aside to let Nick come in.  "I'm fine."

Nick reflexively wrinkled his nose when he walked in, the pungent odor of cleansing products filling his nostrils.  "What are you doing, disinfecting the entire apartment?"

Sara shot him a look before heading back into the kitchen.  Nick followed her and sat at the kitchen table as he watched her scrub the sink.

"Grissom asked about you."

"Asked what about me?" She continued scrubbing to mask the small flicker of panic that suddenly ran through her.  He wouldn't tell Nick about the dinner thing, would he?

"He was trying to find out how much the explosion was affecting you.  I just told him that you were fine.  He bought it."

"Oh.  Uh, thanks."  She focused her attention on the sink, but she could feel Nick looking at her.  Grissom may have bought it, but she knew Nick didn't, not after what happened the previous morning.  "I am fine, you know," she said as she finally stopped cleaning and looked at him.  She was telling the truth as far as the explosion ordeal went; aside from the fact that she was worried about Greg, she was fine. 

"Okay."  His tone implied he only half believed her; she seemed fine for the most part, but he knew it would take her awhile to completely recover.

She gave him a look, knowing he still had his doubts.

"I said okay," Nick repeated insistently, not wanting to argue.

"Okay."  She turned her attention to the kitchen counter as she covered it with cleanser.  As long as she kept him thinking it was about the explosion and not Grissom she wouldn't be lying to him, and hopefully he'd see that and leave her alone.

But she'd be lying to herself if she said Grissom's rejection wasn't bothering her, because it was.  She wasn't worried about trying to come up with a plan to win Grissom over, because she had decided the minute he said no that she was giving up.  It wasn't worth it anymore.  She realized she was more angry than anything else, angry at Grissom for making her waste her time, but mostly angry at herself for not realizing she was wasting her time.

After several more minutes of watching Sara clean, Nick got up.  "I'm gonna head home and get some sleep.  I just stopped by to see how you were doing."

"Okay.  Thanks.  For stopping by.  And for yesterday."

"No problem," he smiled.  He turned for the front door to let himself out.

"Hey, do you wanna grab something to eat, before shift?" she asked.

"Sure.  I'll call you later."

"Okay."