Chapter 6
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It took several weeks, but things at the lab eventually got back to normal. Greg was back at work in a temporary DNA lab while the old one was being cleaned up and rebuilt. Nick was glad that Sara was back to her old self again. They seemed to be spending a lot of time together outside of work, more than they used to, which helped Nick to keep an eye on her without looking like he was doing so.
That night, however, Sara seemed distracted; Nick figured the case they were working on with Grissom was bringing back bad memories. The three of them were working on a house fire and they suspected a bomb or some kind of explosion was the cause. Nick didn't understand why Grissom put Sara on the case, but it must have been because he, like Nick, figured she had moved on and it wouldn't bother her.
Sara knew it would happen eventually. Miraculously, it had lasted almost a month; she never imagined it would be that long. But that night her lucky streak ended. And there she was, working a case with Grissom. Her first since the dinner fiasco. After he had rejected her, Grissom had managed to assign cases so the two were never working together. Which was fine with Sara, it helped her to move on, to stop beating herself up over it, blaming herself for being so stupid.
But with her first case working with Grissom, the emotions came flooding back. While she knew her bad mood caused her to be a little distracted from the case, her odd behavior was augmented by the fact that she also tried to limit her interactions with Grissom since her anger against him had returned. She tried hard to let it go, but it was easier to forgive herself than to forgive him.
"Is everything okay?" Nick looked at Sara with concern as they sat and ate breakfast in a quiet corner booth.
"Yeah," she replied as she stared down at her plate and picked at her omelet, knowing Nick would see right through her.
"Sara."
"I said I'm fine," she looked up at him.
"No you're not. The Human Vacuum would have hoovered down that omelet twenty minutes ago," Nick gently teased. He tried to keep things light, masking his worry so she wouldn't get angry. But she had her nickname for a reason, so he knew something was bothering her when she didn't eat.
"I'm just not very hungry."
Nick decided to let it go and try a different approach. "You wanna come over?"
Sara raised an eyebrow at him, waiting to hear more.
"Okay, fine. I promise no Animal Planet," he gave in. The only reason he wanted her to come over was on the off chance that she'd eventually open up and tell him what was bothering her, so he'd concede whatever he had to in order to better his chances.
"Okay then," Sara managed a half smile.
They paid for their food and headed to Nick's house, quickly settling in front of the TV. Nick was a man of his word, and he let Sara watch her favorite forensics shows.
Ordinarily, Sara would have been thrilled, but that morning she was distracted, as Nick had, as usual, so astutely observed. Of course he didn't know the real reason why, and Sara had no intention of telling him, because she feared what he would think of her if she did.
They sat and watched TV for a couple hours, but to Nick's dismay, the only thing Sara told him was that there was a 32% chance of DNA recovery from the brim of a hat, and she left his house without revealing anything else.
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As they continued working on their case the next night, Nick kept an eye on Sara and noticed she still seemed slightly distracted. She also seemed to be upset with Grissom but that wasn't too unusual, so he was still unsure of what exactly was bothering her, and to avoid getting his head bitten off, he kept his mouth shut and didn't ask her about it.
Sara pushed open the locker room door and saw Nick inside. "Breakfast?" she asked him.
"Sorry, can't. I have some stuff I have to do."
"Oh." She tried to hide her disappointed expression from Nick with her open locker door but knew her tone had given her away. Ever since "the rejection" she'd been leaning on Nick a lot, mostly to get her mind of Grissom, which, except when Nick pestered her about why she seemed upset, always did the job. With Nick she could be herself; she didn't have to prove anything to him or go out on a limb to get him to notice her.
She'd been asking him to hang out after shift a lot, whether it was breakfast or just lounging at home in front of the TV. It had become almost routine, and to hear him say no caught her by surprise. But she knew it would happen eventually. He did have a life. And it didn't revolve around her.
Nick was a little caught off guard by her overt disappointment over such a trivial thing. "How about dinner, before shift?" he offered.
"Okay." She managed a small smile. She opened the locker room door to leave and found herself face to face with Warrick.
"Hi," Warrick greeted.
"Bye," she smiled. She turned to Nick. "Just come over whenever," she said before she walked out.
Warrick came inside and raised an eyebrow at Nick. "Come over, huh? Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?" he teased.
"I'm not sure," Nick replied distractedly with a furrowed brow, still wondering about Sara's strange reaction.
"Not sure? What, you been out of the game so long you don't know how to read the signs anymore?" Warrick continued his banter.
"What? No, it's not like that," Nick said, his expression still grim.
"Well then what is it like?" Warrick was getting curious.
"I don't know," Nick sighed. "After the lab explosion we started hanging out a lot, and she was the one that usually suggested it. I figured she was just trying to get her mind off it, so I just went along with it and didn't say anything. She seemed to be getting over it, and she was doing fine until yesterday. Ever since this case started she's been acting distracted."
"Your bomb in the basement case?"
"Yeah."
"Well the case probably just shook her up, brought back some bad memories," Warrick suggested, trying to find a reason not to get too worried.
"I guess."
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"Is it okay if we just order in? I don't really feel like going out," Sara said as she headed into the kitchen to grab the takeout menus.
"Uh, sure," Nick eyed her as he closed the front door behind him and walked into Sara's living room.
"What do you want?" Sara called out from the kitchen.
"Whatever," he called back as he sat down in front of the TV.
"Thai okay?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want the usual?"
"Yeah."
Sara phoned in their order and came back into the living room to join Nick on the couch. They watched TV in silence until their food arrived, and they then proceeded to eat in silence as well. Once they were finished and Nick decided that Sara might be more amenable to a discussion since her stomach was now full, he found his courage and spoke.
"Listen, Sara, I know I've asked you a million times if you're okay, and I know you've told me a million times that you are, but-"
"Nick."
"Just hear me out. Please," he begged. "Just this once."
Sara sighed, but didn't object.
Nick continued. "You're a damn good CSI. The best I've ever known. And I'm not just saying that," he looked at her. "But even the best aren't super human. Things still get to them, no matter how hard they try to push everything away. They have to find ways to deal, just like everybody else."
Sara stared down at her hands, taking in everything Nick was saying.
His gaze remained fixed on her as he went on. "Now I can't know how you must feel after going through the lab explosion, and you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. But all I ask is that you talk to someone about it. Anyone. Not just for me, but for you. You can't keep working like this."
Sara finally looked at him. It touched her that Nick's words were filled with so much concern for her. She never realized someone she'd only known for a few years would care so much about her. But of course Nick would. That's the kind of person he was, always concerned with the well being of those around him.
She felt guilty that she was making Nick worry, especially since he was worrying over the wrong thing. She realized she had no choice but to tell him the truth. She took a deep breath. "Grissom rejected me." She turned away, unable to look him in the eye.
Nick didn't know how to respond.
"I asked him to dinner and he flat out rejected me."
"I'm sorry," was all Nick could think to say. He knew Sara had some kind of thing for Grissom, but he thought it was more of a teacher's pet kind of crush. Apparently he was wrong, and he had to admit he was a little shocked to hear what Sara had done.
"It's all my fault. I was such an idiot! Why did I even think I had a chance?"
"Hey, it's not your fault," he comforted. "Grissom's the idiot. Anyone who would turn you down is an idiot."
"What about guys who use me to cheat on their girlfriends?" Sara scoffed at the thought of her shambled love life.
"They're the biggest idiots," Nick replied with a tinge of anger. That bastard Hank.
They sat for a few minutes before Nick spoke. "So is that why you've been acting strange these past few weeks? Because he turned you down?"
"Yeah."
"All this had nothing to do with the lab explosion?"
"Not really."
"Well why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"
Sara gave him a look, as if he didn't realize what a stupid question that was. Despite Nick's willingness to listen to just about anything she had to say, the story of her pathetic attempt to ask Grissom out was not something she'd be so enthusiastic to share.
"Well it would have saved me all this worrying," he teased with a light smile.
"Sorry," she smiled.
"I'll live," he grinned. He looked at her and his expression turned serious. "No matter what's bothering you, I still think you should talk to somebody," he said.
"It's not bothering me anymore," she insisted.
Nick rolled his eyes. "Did you not hear a word I just said? I had that whole speech planned out perfectly," he said, only half teasing.
"Well it's not. At least not how you think it is."
"Okay…" Nick wasn't sure where Sara was going.
"I'm giving up. Moving on. He's not worth it anymore."
Nick furrowed his brow. "Well then why-"
"Will you let me finish?" she shot him a glare.
"Sorry."
"I'm just angry is all. Well I was starting to get over it. But this case was the first I've worked with him since he rejected me. So I got angry all over again."
Nick didn't say anything at first, to make sure she was done talking. "Why are you angry?" he asked when she didn't go on.
"At myself? For being so stupid and not seeing that I was wasting my time. At him? For not saying anything and making me waste my time."
Nick thought for a second. "Well do you think he even knew? I mean, does he ever know what's going on if it doesn't have to do with a case?"
Sara played back the conversation in her head.
"Sara...I don't know what to do about this."
Of course he knew. But he "didn't know what to do" so he just left her hanging for three years. And when he finally did say no, it wasn't even a "no thank you," it was just "no." And the way he said it, the tone he used, he was practically laughing at her, like the idea was so preposterous. As if the rejection itself wasn't bad enough, he had to give her this look like she was crazy.
"Sara."
Nick's voice interrupted the angry ramblings in Sara's head. She sighed. She decided right then and there that she didn't want to deal with any of it anymore. "Just forget it."
Nick tried not to raise his voice. "How am I gonna get it through that thick skull of yours that-"
"Seriously, Nick," she interrupted. "I don't wanna think about this thing anymore. It's not even worth it to be angry. As of right now, I'm putting it all behind me."
Nick raised an eyebrow.
"I promise." She looked into his eyes, hoping he'd believe her. Because she was telling the truth. She didn't want to waste any more time or energy thinking about Grissom.
"You promise."
"Yes, I promise," she repeated. "I don't want you to have to worry about me all the time."
"So are you doing this for me or for you?" he looked at her.
"Someone's a little self-centered aren't they?" she teased with a small smile. "For me," she answered his question.
"Okay. Good," he smiled.
Sara glanced down at her watch. "We should get going."
Nick looked at his own watch. "Yeah."
They cleaned up and put the leftover food in the fridge before leaving the apartment.
"Hey," Sara called out as Nick was walking toward his truck parked at the curb.
Nick turned around.
"Thanks. Again."
Nick smiled. "See you in a few," he said as he unlocked the door and climbed in.