Chapter Four
Goodbye, Hello Again
March 30th, 1993
Steve sighed as he looked at the mess, his best friends, Jesse and Jenny standing by his side, looking down at the car, it had taken five months but they had found a small trace of Mark, and it all lead up to him being dead. Jesse had come along to support Steve, and for Jen it was a case. Shaking his head he looked around the car and sighed. The piece of metal was just that metal, it was fried, they had no idea if Mark had been in it or not, but if he had there was a good chance he was gone. Steve jotted down some notes and looked at Jesse.
"Well, let's head home, thanks for calling me guys," Steve said. Officer McCloskey nodded.
"Anytime Lieutenant," he said. Steve sighed and got in his truck, pulling the door shut he rubbed his eyes, Jesse got in and looked at him, Jenny did the same.
"You all right Steve?" She asked.
"I'm fine baby, just, well I'm about ready to let this all go, and I was just thinking since we just found out my father is really gone, I'd really like to have a funeral," he said softly.
"I think that's a beautiful idea Steve," Jenny said, while she was afraid it might hurt Steve more than help, she couldn't tell him no. It wasn't her choice, Jesse looked at his friend.
"I'll help all I can Steve," Jesse said.
"I'd appreciate that Jess," Jesse nodded as Steve threw the truck into gear and slowly pulled away
Jenny had been staying with Steve for nearly two weeks now, he had recently been released from Oakland Heights, and Jenny didn't want him to be hurt or worse have to go back, so when Steve had brought up the subject of a funeral the first thing she had done was call Tara.
"I think it's a great idea, Jenny, it'll give him the chance needs to accept his father is gone," Tara had told her.
"All right," she said softly. Steve had spent most of the next day calling people and telling them what had happened, he had begun to come to terms, she was amazed by his strength, but then again he had been amazed by her strength with watching him have a break down and still being there for him all the way.
"Jenny, I'm home," Steve called. Jenny came out of the den and smiled softly at him.
"Hi baby, how did it go?" Steve had had an appointment with Mark's lawyer.
"Good, I also talked to a funeral director, the funeral will be Thursday, it's going to be quick, dad's closest friends and family only," he said. She nodded and looked at Steve.
"Baby are you really okay with this?" Steve sighed and placed his hands on her hips.
"I'm a little sad, but this might give me the chance to really say goodbye, I have to move on, otherwise I can't be happy," he said. She sighed and looked at him.
"I adore you," she whispered. He smiled and pulled her close.
"I know, I love you too beautiful," he whispered.
Looking back Jenny knew she wouldn't remember much from the funeral. Carol, Steve's sister had shown up, Carol in black. Steve had held his sister close to him as she tried to keep from breaking down. Jesse had shown up with Allie by his side, both looking dressed nicely, and doing well, Jen could tell they were getting through this together, Allie helping Jesse because she wasn't attached and didn't know Mark. Amanda and Jack showed up with the kids, CJ and Dion had tears in their eyes, but seemed to be doing all right, Jack was holding CJ in one arm as Amanda carried Mandie. They had set up a picture of Mark and an empty casket which was closed. At one point Jenny spotted her boyfriend looking at the picture and smiling gently
"You put me into this world, you wanted what was best for me. I'm sorry Dad, and I will miss you," he whispered. Straightening he headed towards his sister and held onto her tightly as she sobbed. Jenny did notice Steve crying once, but otherwise he was doing well.
The service began a few minutes later, Steve, Amanda, Carol and Dora sitting up front. There were many people there, from the precinct, from the hospital, and other various old friends of Mark's. Which was surprising to Jenny because she had been told it would be small, then again from the sound of it, small for Mark Sloan was half of LA.
"Thank you all for coming," Father Ferguson began.
"Your presence here this evening is a tribute to Mark Sloan and the legacy of caring he left behind him. We know that this is a difficult time for his children Carol and Steven. But we are also comforted by the knowledge that Mark is the father now, who cares and nurtures all of us, and to whom we return when we leave this mortal life behind...."
Steve heard the words the priest spoke, but was unable to really make sense of it all. Mark was no longer on this earth as the man he had known and loved. However Steve had spent the past several weeks getting used to it all, and he was already past the pain and grief, so he was able to sit here and know his father was all right, and hopefully happy. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back at Jennifer, he touched her shoulder and smiled softly.
"I'm okay," he whispered.
"I know, I'm here," she said. He nodded and looked back at the priest.
The priest was concluding his opening remarks, many of which were directed specifically at Steven and Carol. Steve didn't really hear the final words as Carol leaned deeply on his hand, trying to grasp something as well. Steve's breath caught in his throat at Jack stood up in front of them and smiled gently.
"I met Mark when I was eighteen, he had recently lost his wife, and was busy raising his own children, Steven who was 21 and Carol who was 17. I remember Mark first telling me about his son Steve and how he missed him. Steve was in Vietnam during the time. Mark needed someone as much as I needed him. I was such a jerk, I was so sure of myself, and Mark just took me, and straightened me out. He gave me the second chance I needed to get my act together. He taught me everything he knew, he would spend afternoons he wasn't working, with me teaching me everything about medicine. His son returned a year later after being injured in duty, and I was so scared I would be pushed aside, by this time I was enrolled in Medical school, and couldn't afford to lose him. But Mark, no he didn't push me away, as far as he was concerned he had two sons now. He took me in and together Steve and I learned from him and each other. It didn't matter to Mark that I was some punk, he loved me just the same, and for that… I'm grateful. Thanks Mark," Jack finished and walked towards Steve. Steve stood up, and Jack pulled him into a hug.
"I love you buddy," Jack whispered. Steve said nothing, trying to get past the lump in his throat. He was glad he and his father had such wonderful friends.
"I love you too bro," Steve said. Jack sat down and smiled as Amanda was the next person to get up.
"I also met Mark when I was about eighteen or nineteen, I was involved in a foster program at the time, and he showed up to help my mom and dad. Mark didn't really care who you were, he always found a spot in his heart for you. Even criminals. Mark was a consultant for the Police Department Steve was on. Mark used to call himself the black sheep of the family. Because so many people in his family were cops, and he was a doctor. But every time you saw Mark go to work, you knew deep down he was the best of both worlds. Mark had one of the most amazing brains anyone could ever get the chance to work with. He solved every case he ever worked on, usually driving his son nuts."
"Mark wasn't one of those guys who wrote to his children every couple months and let it go. Mark's son moved in with him shortly after his house burnt down, leaving Steve with no place to live. Of course there was no question that Mark would take him in. The relationship between Mark and his son was incredible. I can remember the many conversations I would have with him while Steve was off in the war. It always helped him to talk about it, and Mark loved to talk about Steve. He used to tell me how proud he was of his son Steve, for the way Steve held the family together when Katherine died."
"When Mark lost his wife he lost part of himself and had to learn how to deal with that, but he had his son to go to. He used to tell me that it was Steve that kept him from self-destructing. Steve and Carol. But it wasn't just his friends, Mark would tell anyone and everyone about his children, Mark was probably the proudest father around. He would tell patients about his amazing daughter who was a nurse and his handsome son who was the best cop in town. To Mark it didn't matter that both his children weren't perfect, all that mattered was that they were his."
"He gave everything he had to helping those around him, whether it was a patient, a friend, a fellow doctor, or his children. He would go to any length, and often times he did. Steve used to think that his father hated him being a cop, but the pride and faith Mark had in his son was unlike anything else."
"Mark wasn't the kind of guy to make a person walk away, a younger doctor. Jesse Travis came shortly after Jack left the hospital. He was a unsure young man, and Mark was quick to love him. If you didn't know Mark you would think Jesse was his son as well. He talked of both Steve and Jesse highly. It was no surprise to me when he was talking to a patient a year ago and slipped saying yes my sons Jesse and Steve. I smiled, he told me not to tell anyone, but in reality he also told me that he adored both his sons, surrogate and real. It was true Mark was easy to love, very easy to love," she said.
Finishing she walked towards Carol and Steve, giving them both hugs she stepped behind them and sat down beside Jesse, who was crying. Reaching over she gripped his hand and kissed his cheek.
"He loved you Jesse," Steve gripped Carol's hand for a moment then stepped up to the podium and smiled gently. He wiped a tear away quickly and took a deep breath.
"My father…he was a kid at heart, I will always remember the moments he used to run around the house with Carol and I playing cowboy and Indians late into the night. One of my earliest memories with my father was a few weeks before my sister Carol was born. I was three years old, and scared that when my sister or brother was born that he and mom would forget about me. My father… lifted me into his arms and held me closely all that night, singing to me, whispering. He never left my side for a minute. When my sister was born two weeks later he spent the entire time sitting with me in his lap, telling me how much he loved me. It was what my dad called our time. He loved our time, when he had a day off he would take me up to a cabin in the hills and spend time fishing with me, or just talking. My dad was a good listener, he listened to everyone. I think it came from being stuck around me, I wasn't a good talker until I got to eighteen, my father could con anything out of me. If I was feeling sad he would sit by me on this log just outside our beach house and talk to me. My mother was never surprised to find us sitting there. When I told my father I was going to Vietnam, he didn't yell, or scream, or even cry. What he did that day is something I'll never forget in all my life. He stood in front of me and with a strained voice he told me that he loved me and wanted me back in once piece," Steve stopped looking back over at the casket.
"Dad always had little projects, that's what I called his friends that soon turned into another part of his seemingly large extended family. So it was no surprise that when Jesse Travis joined the staff at CGH, not only was his first day spent solving a mystery but it was spent getting to know me. My dad used to joke about me being the stereotypical cop, but he was never angry that I wanted to be a cop. When I was eight I asked him what should I be when I grow up, he looked at me with his crystal eyes and smiled. 'Whatever you want Stevie, because you are your own man.' He told me. It took time for me to realize what he meant, but I thank God for a father like him," Steve sighed, closing his eyes he felt the tears begin to fall. Walking towards Amanda and Carol he was met by hugs.
The rest of the funeral went on, Steve held close to Jesse, and Jenny. Clinging to both of them, while he had gotten past this he was still saddened, he knew this was the end. He vaguely remembered saying goodbye, dropping a flower on the empty casket and walking away with Jenny at his side. They walked towards the car with Amanda and sighed as he felt a tug at his sleeve, looking down he said Dion crying slightly. He reached down and lifted the boy into his arms.
"You were my father's biggest project, I know it sounds mean, but he adored you and CJ, he wanted you both to know that. You were the grandkids we hadn't given him, thank you," Steve whispered as Dion hugged him tightly.
"I love you Uncle Steve," he whispered.
"I love you too kiddo," Steve said and put him back down, he looked at CJ and smiled.
"I love you both," he whispered. CJ gave Steve a large hug and then allowed the man to stand up.
"We're all going back to your house, for the wake, how are you?" She asked.
"I'm okay," Steve said truthfully, Amanda smiled as Jack came over to her side and smiled.
"I'm glad to hear it buddy," Jack said. Steve nodded, he looked over at Jenny.
"I'm ready, I'll meet you guys at the house," they all nodded.
By the end of the evening Jesse was fast asleep on the couch, Mandie sleeping on his chest. CJ and Dion were asleep in front of the TV, Allison, Amanda and Jenny were in the kitchen helping Carol clean up and Jack was talking to Steve on the deck.
"Well, how do you feel?" Jack asked. Steve sighed and smiled.
"Better, for the first time in months I feel like I've got my closure," he said calmly.
"That's great Steve," Jack said, there was silence between the two when Steve finally spoke.
"Spit it out man, you didn't ask me out here to talk about how I am," he said. Jack smiled.
"You always knew me," Jack admitted.
"Damn straight I do, I've known you since you were eighteen, now tell me what's wrong," he said.
"I want to propose to Amanda," he said. Steve smiled.
"This is great, I was waiting for it, I have been since you two knew each other."
"Yeah there's only one problem," Jack said. Steve looked at him.
"What could possibly be wrong?" He asked.
"CJ, Dion, and Mandie, I don't want them to feel as though we're forgetting about them. Or that we're trying to replace their parents. I don't want bitterness in this family," Jack whispered.
"Jack, CJ loves you, I mean he loves you. That kid found himself attached to you before he even knew you like his mom. As for Dion, I know that kid, and he may be hard headed and stubborn, but he wants a father. For awhile he was wondering if I would marry his mother, but I told him I didn't love her like that. He wants a father, and while I'm close to one, I'm not his father, and won't ever be. He loves you and if he doesn't he'll learn to quickly, Mandie adores Amanda, you and I both know that. She won't have a problem, the boys love her, and she loves them. What's the real problem," he said smiling.
"Will she say yes," Steve didn't bother holding back his laugh.
"You're kidding right, damn man if you don't propose soon she will," he said smiling.
"You think so?"
"I know that look Jack, I get it every time I look in Jenny's eyes, and Allie gets the same look from looking at Jesse, it's just too bad he doesn't see that."
So you think I should ask her?" Steve looked at as though he were bug eyed nuts.
"Yes!" Steve said chuckling.
"I want a family with her," he said.
"Tell her that."
"I want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"Tell Amanda how you feel, if you don't she's not going to know," Steve explained.
"You're right, thanks Steve," Jack said. Steve nodded.
"While we're on the discussion of marriage, when do you plan on popping the question?" Steve smiled.
"Hey, would you get out of my love life, when I'm ready," he said smiling as Jack laughed.
"Nervous?"
"No, petrified," Steve said laughing. Jack smiled.
"When did we become such wusses?" Steve smiled.
"I remember you telling Amanda one point that men die from her kind of cooking," Jack smiled.
"They get married," they both responded.
"Thanks Steve, you really helped me, I'd be honored if you were my best man," Jack said.
"As would I," he said smiling.
"I'd also be honored if you asked Jesse to be a best man too," Steve shook his head.
"Oh no, you ask him, you two have got to talk. You're not enemies Jack, believe it or not before you came Jesse was the most talkative, funny, goofiest people I knew, and now he's just nervous. Poor kid as heard so much about you, probably thinks you're a damn God," he said chuckling.
"I'm not a God, just another one of Mark's many projects," Jack said chuckling.
"We all were," he said. Jack slowly pulled out a ring box from his pocket and looked at it.
"I really wish Mark were here," he said. Steve nodded.
"So do I amigo, so do I, now let's go get you a wife," he said. The two rose from their seats. Steve smacked his best friend in the head on the way through, causing Jesse to open his eyes.
"Would you just go to sleep," he said. Jesse smiled, he looked down at the toddler fast asleep on his chest. Jack reached over and lifted the girl into his arms.
"Come on Mandie, time to get you home," Steve looked at Jack.
"Tomorrow," he whispered. Steve nodded.
"Dinner tomorrow here," Steve said, this time Jack nodded. Jack walked into the kitchen with his daughter sleeping on his shoulder and smiled.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," he said kissing Amanda, Jenny, Allison and Carol on the cheeks.
"It was nice seeing you Jack," Carol said.
"Thank you, it was a pleasure to see you as well Carol," with that he headed out of the house. Amanda smiled as she walked into the living room to see her two boys fast asleep.
"We'll help you," Steve said as he and Jesse each grabbed a boy and lifted them. Amanda smiled softly.
"Thanks guys," she said. Steve carried Dion out to the car, and wasn't surprised when he felt small arms encircle his neck.
"Bye kid," he said to the boy as he and Jesse placed them in the car. Amanda kissed Jesse and Steve on the cheek and got in her car. Steve looked up to see Jenny and Allie coming out of the house, they had come together.
"Bye ladies," Jesse said kissing Allie on the cheek as well as Jenny.
"Bye boys," Jenny kissed her boyfriend and pulled away.
"Bye baby," he whispered. She smiled and got into the car after kissing Jesse on the cheek. Allison did the same to Jesse and joined her. They waved goodbye and pulled out. Leaving Steve and Jesse in the driveway.
"Come on little brother, let's get you to bed," Steve said smiling. Jesse rolled his eyes and together the two friends headed inside the house.
"Goodnight Carol," Steve said. She kissed her brother and hugged Jesse then headed off the guest room. Jesse waved goodnight to his friend and watched as Steve headed downstairs to sleep.
Carol left early the next morning, and Steve then dropped by Jen's house and picked her up for work. Jesse had an early shift so he left just after Steve. It wasn't surprising that night when everyone was at the beach house again that Jack was acting paranoid and nervous.
"Jack, calm down, jeez, she'll say yes," Steve said.
"Who will say yes to what?" Jesse asked. Jack looked at Steve.
"Promise not to blab," Jack said. Jesse smiled and nodded.
"I'm proposing to Amanda," Jesse's smile widened.
"That's great!" He said.
"Shh, she doesn't know, and I'm really nervous that the kids may not like it," Jack explained.
"I'm sure they'll be fine with it," Jesse responded.
"Thanks Jess, that means a lot," he said softly. They were all watching a movie when Jack asked Amanda to join him outside on the deck. She smiled as she rubbed her shoulders, the March breeze was gentle and cool, the night sky full of stars, that you couldn't usually see in the city.
"Sure is beautiful out here," Amanda said. Steve smiled as he looked at her.
"Sure is," he said. She turned towards him and blushed slightly.
"Amanda, can I ask you a question," he asked. She nodded. He grabbed her hands and held them tightly in his, looking into her beautiful chocolate eyes she sighed.
"Amanda Bentley," he slowly dropped to one knee.
"Would you consent to be my wife?" He asked. There was a tense moment as Amanda looked at him in surprise.
"Amanda?" He asked gently, afraid she was about to say no.
"Did…Oh my god," she whispered, covering her mouth, tears welling in her eyes.
"Amanda?" He said. She knelt down and kissed his lips.
"Of course I'll marry you," they were both surprised by a round of cheering, applause and whistling as Allie, Jenny, Jesse, Steve and the kids were all standing just outside the door. Jack shook his head and smiled.
"All right Jack!" Jesse yelled. Amanda giggled gently and looked at Jack.
"I thought you'd never ask," she whispered.
"You thought wrong, you're beautiful," he said kissing her again. Then he looked at Dion and CJ. He stood up and walked over to her children and his daughter.
"Dion, CJ, can I marry your mother and become a father figure to you?" He asked. Dion looked at him for a moment then at his mother. CJ smiled gently and hugged Jack. Jack looked at Dion, who was still quiet.
"Dion?" He asked.
"I'm not really her son… this doesn't mean I have to go away does it?" He asked. Amanda walked over and hugged him tightly.
"No one could ever make me get rid of you, and you are my son," she said kissing his temple. Dion looked at Jack.
"You love her?" Jack nodded.
"You love him?" Amanda looked up at Jack and smiled, nodding.
"Okay," Dion said lightly, the adults chuckled as Amanda pulled her young son close, Jack smiled and lifted his daughter high into his the air.
"I'm getting married baby girl," He said holding her tightly and laughing.
"Let's eat!" Jesse chimed in, causing more laughter.
Steve was sitting at his desk a couple days later, going over some paperwork when Alex Smith came in, Alex had been another one of his father's "projects" the boy was supposed to be graduating Med School soon and Steve had the feeling Alex would do great.
"Hi Steve," Alex said. Steve smiled.
"Hi Alex, what can I do for you?" Steve said standing up and shaking the younger man's hand while he watched Alex sit in the chairs in front of his desk.
"Well graduation is coming up soon, and as you know it's a really big thing for me and everyone else, and well… Doc Sloan was going to give a speech, and while you're not a doctor many of us thought it would be an honor if you came and spoke in your dad's place." Steve looked at Alex, surprised by the request.
"Alex…" he paused as the younger man looked at him.
"Please Steve, it would mean a lot to all of us," Steve sighed.
"All right," he said, "What does it have to be about?"
"Basically us, just what you think of us, what we've learned and how you think we'll do in the future." Steve nodded and looked at him.
"Graduation is in a week right?" Alex nodded this time.
"All right, I'll be there," Alex smiled and got up to leave.
"Oh, Alex," he called. Alex turned back and saw Steve with a box in his hand.
"What's this?" He asked.
"It's a gift, a graduation gift actually, sort of a little thing from me, dad, Jess and Amanda, to tell you how proud we are of you, go ahead open it," Steve said. Alex smiled and opened the box slowly. Inside was a silver Rolex watch with navy blue around the face. Alex smiled.
"Thanks Steve," he said.
"Read the inscription," he whispered. Alex turned it over.
"To the third son I never had, we're proud of you Alex, don't forget what's important to you," Alex read allowed.
"This is great, how long have you guys had this?" He knew since it was inscribed by Mark then it had to have been awhile.
"Five years," Steve said smiling.
"Are you joking?"
"No, dad felt it was important, we were going to originally give it to you that year of your birthday, but things happened and we couldn't, so we're giving it to you for your graduation. Alex, we're all very proud of you," he said. Alex smiled again as he slipped it on.
"This means a lot Steve," Alex whispered.
"I'm glad you like it, now get out of here," Steve said chuckling.
"Bye Steve, and thanks," Steve smiled.
"You're welcome take care Alex," he said watching the young man leave.
"My father was a firm believer in truth, justice and faith. If you lacked those you wouldn't make much of a doctor. He used to talk about the group of students he had, not much older than Doctor Travis, and how he saw them as his own children. He would try and play little tricks on them, but one of them would always figure it out. He loved these kids, and felt that in some way he had taught them everything they knew. And he did, these students behind me, have learned a lot, and have been through a lot too. They've shown us what they can go up against and how badly they want it. With strength and determination these kids have shown us that they want to be doctors and that most of all, when faced with a patient they care. I'm honored to have been asked to give the speech today at their graduation in the place of my father, one of the greatest doctors of all time, Dr. Mark Sloan, I know that if he were here, and he is, that he is proud of you guys, each and everyone of you. So as the speaker I'd like to say congratulations and go show us what you can do!" Steve said as the kids cheered. Jesse came up beside Steve and smiled, everyone was clapping.
"When I call your names please come forward and accept your diploma," Jesse said. He stood beside Steve and began to call names.
"Kelly Averman….Alex Smith," Steve smiled as Alex came up and gave both him and Jesse hugs.
"We're all proud of you Alex," Jesse said. Smiling Alex held up his diploma as people cheered. Jesse looked at Steve, and while both men missed Mark, they knew things were indeed going to get better with time.
Allie351-Thanks for the review, while we don't actually know what Steve's middle name is many of us believe it is Michael and use that as the middle name. What you use is up to you.
Dark gothic-don't worry I'm not even close to the end of this story because it is really long. So stay tuned! And thanks for the reviews.