Eccentric Seeming Emotions Chapter 2: Help, a csi fanfic

Disclaimer: It's been a year; hopefully by now everybody knows: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation does not belong to me.

Author's Note: For Mr. Hathaway; for b8kworm and Sun Mee who give me nothing but support. For Mark, I count everyday of my life with you in it as a blessing; always remember that. For the people who do or ought to belong to nagging.com - Angie, Manda, Marianne, and Rita. Will you ever cut me some slack? Thanks, Mena, for the song. Many, many thanks to Beth for permission to use Bleak; we did it! Thank you for inspiring me. There is no chronological order to these chapters; consider it a stream-of-thought.

Summary: Tonight, something had changed and he sincerely cursed the near perfect memory that made his job easier while his heart became a wrenched mess.

Rating: PG-13

Archives: the Graveyard, mine. Anybody else, email me.

Pairing(s): G/C

Spoiler(s): None.

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Title: Eccentric Seeming Emotions

Author: Laeta
Email: ladylaetayahoo.com

Chapter 2: Help

Bleak and lonely, the depths of one's soul.
The deep abyss of emotion shattered before them in one explosive cry for help.

He remembered one night, years ago, when Catherine had failed to come to work. She never called to explain her absence and his repeated tries to reach her went unanswered. Worry had given way to panic hours earlier; Gil was out the door and halfway to her house by the time shift concluded.

Parking at the curb of her house, he shivered at the too still air. It was broken by the shrill cry of a baby, filled with need and hoarse from too long neglect. Gil hurried to the front door and tried to suppress the thought that he had come too late.

The crying continued; Gil gently tried the doorknob. It turned easily.

He pushed the door open slowly and debated on whether to draw his gun. In the end, he did not, compromising on simply unbuttoning the restraint that kept it snug in its holster.

Walking silently into the house, the crying increased, and Gil noted the complete disarray of the house. Dirty dishes, toys strewn across the floor, dust floated everywhere. Where was Catherine?

He found baby Lindsey in her crib, wanting her mother. She did not notice him in her wailing. Angry at the conditions he found, he forewent Lindsey in favor of a confrontation.

Desperate to find Catherine, Gil turned from the nursery and continued down the hall to the master bedroom. There she was, asleep, completely oblivious to the world and her baby's needs.

"Oh, Cath." Gil knelt at her side, seeing the evidence of exhaustion lining her face.

She was dressed for work in conservative slacks and shirt; a case file rested haphazardly on the floor by her relaxed hand. Nearby, friction had stopped the roll of an uncapped pen. He forgave her immediately, shifting the ever growing pool of anger towards Eddie. Perhaps the correct question was: where was Eddie?

Standing, Gil managed to cover Catherine with a blanket, retrieving the case file from the floor and capping the pen. He carried both objects with him as he shut the bedroom door quietly behind him. He left them besides other work related items on the desk in the living room and focused his attention on Lindsey.

He professed absolutely no skill in tending a baby, but necessity dictated that he do something. So, he improvised as he went along and soon enough, Lindsey cooed happily at him. He brought her with him to the living room and deposited her in the playpen.

In the kitchen, he counted dishes for at least a few days. He quelled another wave of charged irritation directed towards Eddie. Yet, he also berated himself. How could he have let things reach this low?

Finally, the kitchen as neat as can be, Gil joined Lindsey in the living room. He talked to her as he righted the storm there; she followed his movements and stared in fascination as his voice apparently pleased her. Once finished, he gave in to temptation.

He picked up Lindsey and cuddled her to him as he relaxed on the sofa. Lindsey gurgled as she found small delights in Gil's hair and face. For just a moment, Gil closed his eyes and imagined another man's reality was his own.

Then, he slipped asleep.

.....

Lindsey woke him as she squirmed in the safe restraints of his arms. Automatically, Gil moved to ease her struggle and prevent himself from harming her. Once his eyes opened, he saw why she was so eager to leave him: Mommy.

Catherine sat across him, amazement softening her features before she reached for Lindsey. Gil carefully relinquished the baby and she wasted no time in lavishing Lindsey with love.

A moment later, she touched his knee as she rose to walk past him. "Don't go anywhere."

Gil watched her with his eyes until she disappeared into the nursery. Exiting, Catherine's next stop was to retrieve a bottle and she settled onto the sofa next to him.

"I'm sorry, Gil. I let you down."

Gil negated her strongly, surprising her with the vehemence. Still, contrition remained; it hued her cheeks like blush.

"Cath, I just wish I didn't have to find out like this. I know you need rest, but it didn't have to come to this!" He sighed, touched Lindsey's cheek gently. "She could have annoyed the neighbors, you know, until they decided to call the police."

Catherine hugged Lindsey tightly. "What do you think they would've done? Would they take her away from me?"

Gil refused to answer.

"Damn it, Gil. I need to know."

He sat forward and covered his face with his hands. "Based on what I saw this morning, I think so."

She exhaled slowly. Lindsey had finished her bottle and Catherine carefully burped her before Lindsey clamored for Gil again. He accepted her and played with her since it meant he could avoid her mother's eyes.

Then, Catherine leaned forward, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming this morning."

"You know I would do anything for you. You just have to ask."

"Gil, I'm so sorry. Next time, I will. Promise."

He looked sharply at her. "Do you think there will be?"

Her smile shone through her words. "Maybe not for something exactly like this, but I'm realizing that I will always need you."

As much as her words did alleviate his worry, Gil felt resignation. Why did he have to need her, too?