Title: If You Want Me To
Author: Ruby Garnet
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own anything Gilmore Girls related.
Summary: Lorelai needs to deal with some unresolved issues but emotions are definitely not the easiest game pieces to move. This is, was, and is going to be a L/L fic. Just remember: Good things come to those who wait. Enjoy and leave some feedback if you can! Thanks. *big smile*
A/N: So much credit goes to my two betas; you know who you are. You guys are angels. I also wanted to thank those of you that have reviewed…this is the first thing I've ever written and just the fact that you are reading this at all (and reviewing) makes me so happy. Thank you.
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[PRESENT – Gilmore house in the morning]
RORY: (opening the door to LORELAI's room slowly) Mom?
LORELAI: (putting in earrings) Morning sunshine.
RORY: (pushing the door closed) So…last night. From my standpoint, it didn't end so well.
LORELAI: (laughing slightly) Eh, no it didn't. It's okay though.
RORY: Where'd you go walking? I went outside to find you but you weren't there.
LORELAI: I just walked around town.
RORY: Oh, okay. (trying to lighten the conversation) So what are your plans for today?
LORELAI: (sitting on bed pulling shoes on) Writing out more checks…making sure Sookie has the coffeemaker hooked up…coming home to spend lunch with you…I think that just about covers it.
RORY: Ooh! Lunch. I didn't think you'd get a break, but I'm glad you did. So what are we doing for lunch? Luke's? We haven't been there in a day and a half; you must be dying to go.
LORELAI: (opening her closet to shield herself from RORY) Actually, I was thinking we could just pick up sandwiches from Doose's and eat in the gazebo.
RORY: (hesitant) Okay, that's fine. I never thought I'd see the day when you choose a product of Taylor's over Luke's.
LORELAI: Bizarre things happen everyday.
RORY: They sure do. For instance, when they discovered the Antarctic cod.
LORELAI: (finally ready to go) I'll never understand people with that much time on their hands. Anyways, I'm going to go. I'll see you around noon. Don't forget that you can go outside if you want. (smiles)
RORY: (laughs) Don't worry. I will make sure that my brain isn't fried by non educational television.
(They hug and LORELAI heads downstairs. She heads outside and stops when she notices EMILY rearranging a flower vase next to the door.)
LORELAI: (deadpan) Excuse me, but I have to get out.
EMILY: (apologetic) Lorelai…
(LORELAI opens the door without a word, closes it, and walks out to her jeep)
[CUT to Dragonfly Inn]
(LORELAI is swiveling around in a high-rise stool and is writing out a check to the carpeting and roof specialists. She finishes, stops spinning, and places them on the counter side by side. She looks at the amounts and takes a deep breath. 'We'll get it somehow.' She punches numbers on a calculator as someone approaches the desk.)
LORELAI: (still punching and laughing, assuming it is another contractor) So, whom do I make your check out to?
LUKE: You're not paying me. Remember?
LORELAI: (swallowing and looking up for a brief moment) Oh, yeah. Hi.
LUKE: I just wanted to let you know that the floor is done. Just don't step on it or the sole of your shoe will be stuck to the floor.
LORELAI: (nervously) Oh, okay. Thanks again, you've been a big help.
LUKE: (just as nervous) You're welcome. I hope things are better with the parents tonight.
LORELAI: Yeah, I do too. (looks up and smiles painfully) Anyways, I've got to go do some work over there. (points finger without direction)
LUKE: Ah, talk to you later then.
LORELAI: Yeah, later.
(LORELAI hurriedly sweeps papers into her arms and walks into the other room with her face burning. She drops the papers on a small mahogany coffee table and sits on the floor. She picks up her pen with the full intention of finishing calculations, but ends up twirling it around like a baton in distraction. SOOKIE walks by the entrance to the room and notices LORELAI sitting on the floor with a distant look in her eyes.)
SOOKIE: (enthusiastic) There you are! I've been looking all over for you.
LORELAI: (snapping out of her daze) Oh, hey Sookie.
SOOKIE: (sitting on the sofa behind LORELAI) So, how've you been?
LORELAI: (sullen) Been better, but okay. You?
SOOKIE: I'm great. I've been researching wallpaper options for the larger rooms. They just don't make anything like those beige Medici patterns anymore. Lately, everything's got big pink flowers or ivy vines on it.
LORELAI: Sookie, just remember that we own an inn, not a garden, and you'll be fine.
SOOKIE: (laughs) I will. So how did the night with the parents go?
LORELAI: (sarcastic) One of the best ever. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. I can now be classified as a royal idiot.
SOOKIE: Aw, sweetie, don't say that. What happened?
LORELAI: Did you ever hear that story about the train crash in 1995 over in India?
SOOKIE: (wondering where this is going) No…
LORELAI: Okay, well one train hit a cow. In India, cows are sacred, so therefore, it stopped. While that train was stopped, a speeding train came down the same track and hit it. The accident killed 358 people after going 'kaboom!' (knocks her two fists against one another) My mother was the cow and I was the train that got hit.
SOOKIE: (bites lip in sympathy) Sad story. Did you ever hear the one about Lorelai and her parents in the fall of 2003? What happened there?
LORELAI: (sighing) My mother wants to criticize everything I do and everything I own. It's nothing new. Last night, it was the house…then Amalia (turns to SOOKIE and says 'The hired help.' SOOKIE nods.) started in with her and I pretty much lost it. I'm tired of having to defend myself against my own mother. I'm glad I wasn't one of those children who expected to have their first drawing hung on the refrigerator because it probably wouldn't have been (LORELAI uses air quotes) 'symmetrical' or 'beautiful' enough for the glorious Emily. Like I told Luke, all I want is for somebody to be happy with me for once.
SOOKIE: (curiously) Luke?
LORELAI: (wanting to smack herself) I might've mentioned some stuff to him, that's all.
SOOKIE: When'd you go over there?
LORELAI: (tired laugh) After the outburst, I just took a walk and ended up at Luke's. (a sad expression crosses her face)
SOOKIE: (refusing the urge to make a snide comment about where she went) Oh. You don't sound too enthusiastic about that visit either. (drops her previously animated hands to her lap)
LORELAI: Well, I was overly emotional and said some stuff…you wouldn't know what I meant… (voice trails off and she begins to read over and sign contracts)
SOOKIE: You? Overly emotional? (holds up hands as if to say 'what about me?')
LORELAI: (holds up hand in a stop position) Sorry, I forgot about Sachmo. My condolences and apologies. (smiles a bit)
SOOKIE: Better. Do you want to talk about what happened at Luke's? (concerned) I have a feeling it would make you feel slightly better.
LORELAI: I'll tell you that I managed to create a soap opera out of a simple visit. (softens) Other than that, I don't really want to talk about it…
SOOKIE: Okay. If you ever do though…I'll be –
MICHEL: (head jutting out from the doorframe, irritated) The carpet man is looking for the two of you.
LORELAI: (mumbling) Great.
SOOKIE: We're coming.
(SOOKIE exits and LORELAI follows behind. LORELAI pauses for a moment and looks around the room she was just in. She glares at the paintings, almost expecting them to reveal her untold secret. She pivots on her heel and leaves.)
[CUT to RORY and LORELAI in Gazebo]
RORY: (through laughter) I am such a klutz. I cannot believe that just happened! (is wiping mustard off of her shirt and picking bread up off the floor)
LORELAI: That's the ham's way of telling you that you should have gotten turkey.
RORY: So you're saying that the cold cuts are conspiring against me?
LORELAI: Indirectly, yes. (smiles)
RORY: (gathering napkins) Well, there are worse things to be a victim of conspiracy to.
LORELAI: True enough. You started to pack for orientation yet? No waiting until the last minute on this packing job.
RORY: (rolls eyes) I was going to start tomorrow.
LORELAI: Cool. (grins) That means that I can plan your entire wardrobe. You've gotta look smart. You can wear those thick-rimmed, black glasses of yours with black slacks and a tan shirt.
RORY: Daria?
LORELAI: Precisely! She's a fun girl. Opinionated too.
RORY: That she was, but I don't think I want to be opinionated through my clothing. (knowingly) Yale is supposedly very trendy yet conservative.
LORELAI: (crunching on a chip) Yale has a fashion magazine?
RORY: Nah, I overheard some girls talking about it at graduation.
LORELAI: They are the most reliable source, aren't they?
RORY: You have a point, but some of their sisters went and yada yada. Eventually everything just gets passed through the grapevine.
LORELAI: Okay, so conservative and trendy. Why don't we go with –?
RORY: How about we go with 'Yes Rory, you can plan your own wardrobe'?
LORELAI: (pouts) But that's no fun. I like to dress up my little girl.
RORY: (equally as whiny) But Mommy, I don't wanna be a Barbie.
LORELAI: (beaten) Oh fine.
RORY: (sympathetic) Don't worry, you can still accessorize for me.
LORELAI: (relieved) Thank you.
RORY: (brightly) Hey, let's get dessert.
LORELAI: Sure, what do you want?
RORY: Pie from Luke's sounds really nice right now.
LORELAI: (pausing) Um, sure. Why don't you go ahead and get it? I'm still eating. (gestures to fourth of sandwich on a wrapper)
RORY: You can finish when we get back. I don't even know what flavor you want. (pointedly) You never do either.
LORELAI: (looking at her hands) No, really, you go on ahead. I'll just get some ice cream when we get home.
RORY: …What's going on? First you turn down cheeseburgers and now pie? Don't tell me you're going on a diet. I won't believe you.
LORELAI: Rory, honestly, I just don't feel like pie. Go ahead. (forces a smile) I'll be fine.
RORY: (latches onto LORELAI and drags her onto the gazebo step) You are coming. Leave the food.
LORELAI: (struggling) Rory, I'm fine!
RORY: Uh huh. They discovered a new continent. Believe that? Didn't think so. Come on!
[CUT to Luke's – RORY still has her hand firmly grasping LORELAI's]
RORY: (whispering) I still don't see what the big deal is.
LORELAI: (muttering) If only you knew.
(RORY drags a reluctant LORELAI to a table near the counter. LORELAI props a menu up directly in front of her face and pretends to stare intently at the dessert options, even though she knows them all by heart.)
RORY: (rolling eyes) Mom, come on. You know all the options. When Luke gets over here, all you have to do is blurt out something. He hasn't added anything new last time I checked. Did he? (opens menu as well)
LORELAI: You never know. (looks up from menu, seeing that LUKE is not coming over)
RORY: Why have you become so skittish lately? You don't want burgers, you don't want pie, and now you seemingly are avoiding Luke. Are you avoiding Luke?
LORELAI: (facing RORY, but starting past her) No…I just don't feel like pie or burgers. I've gotta go now. My lunch break's almost over.
RORY: It's 12:30; you've got half an hour.
LORELAI: Well, you never know. I mean, the guy working on the gas lines said he might –
LUKE: What can I get you two?
(RORY begins to open her mouth but is interrupted when LORELAI quickly props a menu up in front of her, making a clicking noise as the plastic hits the table.)
RORY: We just came to get dessert. I'll have cherry pie. Peter Rabbit over here will have… (gestures to the hiding LORELAI)
LORELAI: I'll…I'll just uh…
LUKE: It would help if you turned your menu right side up.
LORELAI: (flipping her menu) Oh, yeah.
LUKE: (sighs and tucks pen behind his ear) Lorelai, can I talk to you for a second?
RORY: What's going on?
LUKE and LORELAI: Nothing.
RORY: (unconvinced) Oh yeah, it's nothing. (shoos away with hands) Go talk.
(As LUKE and LORELAI walk away to the storeroom, LORELAI shoots RORY a playful glare that could easily be identified as the coined 'You are so mean' look that was often shared by the two.)
LUKE: (closing door behind him) So…how've you been?
LORELAI: Been good…been good. (leans against a shelf and pauses for a moment) About last night… I was really…
LUKE: Emotional?
LORELAI: Yeah, that's the word. (rambling) I don't know if everything I said was what I really meant to say…or if it came out the wrong way…or if it was even what I wanted to say at all. My mouth has a tendency to do its own thing and I never really – (catches a bottle of mustard that she's just knocked over) and I am so klutzy. (flustered)
LUKE: I know. (stares at ground)
LORELAI: (embarrassed laugh) Yeah, pretty much everyone knows I can't go anywhere without running into someone or knocking something over. Heaven forbid if they ever open a china store in Stars Hollow. I definitely won't be a customer there. Neither will Rory. I mean, today at lunch –
LUKE: (noticing she's totally missed the point) Lorelai.
LORELAI: (biting lip) I…just don't know what to say.
LUKE: (looks at LORELAI) I don't either. (silence) What you said last night…
LORELAI: (swallows, looks to the side, and says quietly) Here it comes.
LUKE: (croaking) Was it true?
LORELAI: …I don't hate you, if that's what you mean.
LUKE: That's good to know.
(Through the door, both of them can hear annoyed requests from customers as their awkward silence lengthens)
LORELAI: (looking at the door and taking uneven breaths) I better let you go…back to the diner. You've got hungry people that need your great food. I'll talk to you tomorrow. My parents are still here.
LUKE: (nodding) Your lunch break is over anyhow.
(Both of them head for the door and LORELAI reaches for the doorknob)
LUKE: …You know, I didn't mean anything by…
LORELAI: (turning slowly) Luke? Don't make it harder than it already is.
(LUKE nods and they both head out. RORY looks up to see LORELAI's facial expression. Noticing that it's solemn and none too happy, RORY acknowledges her cue to exit right after LORELAI. RORY turns around and sees LUKE leaning on the storage room door, looking beaten. They exchange grim smiles and RORY exits.)
[CUT to Gilmore House later that evening]
(LORELAI and RORY are in LORELAI's room joking about college)
LORELAI: I bet that when you come home, you'll be so smart that you'll be able to answer anything.
RORY: (flouncing onto the bed) I don't think I'll be able to answer everything, but I'll definitely learn an incredible amount while I'm there.
LORELAI: Maybe you'll be able to tell me why the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts but he can't fix a hole in a boat.
RORY: I don't think anyone will ever be able to tell you that.
(EMILY knocks lightly on the door and walks in)
EMILY: I apologize for interrupting your conversation. May I speak to your mother alone for a minute, Rory?
RORY: That's fine Grandma. (gets up to leave)
LORELAI: (whispering) Make sure you come back if you hear violent screams or throws of death.
RORY: (whispering) I will. (EMILY rolls her eyes as RORY leaves)
EMILY: (sits down on bed next to LORELAI) So, how are things at the inn?
LORELAI: Fine. Michel hasn't killed anyone yet.
EMILY: Are you happy with the way you acted last night?
LORELAI: Well, there's a change in topic if I ever heard one.
EMILY: Are you?
LORELAI: Are you?
EMILY: Not entirely.
LORELAI: (curious) Really? This I have to hear.
EMILY: Really Lorelai, you couldn't be serious for one moment of your life? You'd think sarcasm was your middle name.
LORELAI: Well it's a lot more exotic than Victoria.
EMILY: Lorelai, honestly, can I finish?
LORELAI: You never started. (EMILY gives her a look) Fine, go ahead.
EMILY: I don't think I needed to be that critical of your home. (LORELAI starts to say something but closes her mouth) You allowed us to stay out of the kindness of your heart and the love for your family and I was ungrateful. I'm sorry.
LORELAI: (playing with sheets) Why didn't you think about that before you said anything?
EMILY: Well, we all make mistakes. Maybe it was the stress of not being in my own home…
LORELAI: And not knowing where the china and silverware were?
EMILY: For lack of a better phrase at the moment, yes.
LORELAI: Well…I uh, accept your apology I guess. I didn't mean to shout at Amalia that much either.
EMILY: I know you didn't.
(There is a pregnant pause between the two. Neither is used to the other apologizing for anything they've ever done.)
LORELAI: It just makes me mad when you can't be happy with anything I do…that's all. I mean; you make it seem like everything in my life is a mistake!
EMILY: Yes, well, you've made many mistakes that are inerasable.
LORELAI: (frustrated) You don't think I know that already?
EMILY: (pause) I am proud of you for opening the Dragonfly. There.
LORELAI: (can't help but smiling) Thanks Mom.
EMILY: (not being able to stand the awkwardness) Come, dinner's ready. (exits room)
(LORELAI says to herself, 'Some things never change…' and follows EMILY downstairs)
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One more A/N. I was wondering if I could get some general opinions on where you want L/L to go. I know the way this story is going to end, but the ending is way far away and there is plenty of space in between for whatever. Do you want them to get over this quickly or keep the awkwardness for just a little longer? Tastefully, please share your opinion if you have time. Thanks.