Disclamier: Okay, Under penalty of assassination if I stopped at chapter 1,
I had to write a second chapter! So, here it is! Voila! Enjoy! More coming
soon!
From the last episode
D. D., Sabriel, Lireal: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Drops everything and dash to Mogget TIME FREEZE!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
Still in a TIME FREEZE!
Lireal: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!!
Sabriel: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!!
D. D.: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BITE YOU ON THE LEG REALLY HARD!!!!
Lireal: Hey Sabriel! You copied me!
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Sabriel: No I didn't. I'm not the one who's typing this script up! Glares at author
Lireal: HUMPH! Well I don't like it that we have the same lines!
Sabriel: Does it really matter?
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Lireal: YES IT DOES! CHANGE IT!
Sabriel: Geeze! Why is it so import...
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Lireal: CHANGE IT!
Author: OK! OK! Sheesh! changes it
Lireal: Thank you...
Sabriel: shrug did I tell you about the latest hat I've knitted?
D. D.: I'm still hungry...
Back to the top
Lireal: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!! Sabriel: ...Well, it's purple and blue yarn with a red...oh, right, we're back to the top...CEASE AND DESIST THE PROCESS OF REMOVING A SIGNIFICANT RED LEATHER NECK BAND BOUND ACROSS THE CREATURE MOGGET'S VILE THROAT! Is that better Lireal?
Lireal: O.O Nice vocabulary. Yes it is. Now on with the story...
D. D.: Right...can we have a sandwich break first?
Announcer Dude: My arm hurts...
Mogget: Then pull the collar of and be done...Mwahahahahaha...
Announcer Dude: But I'm frozen...I would pull it off if I could. I like little fluffy white kitties.
D. D.: Little white kitties are known to eat ignorant announcers when their collars are taken off...they get these big sharp pointy teeth and scream RAWRAWRAWRAWRAWRAWRAWR! RAWR! At you and they lose their hair too. It just kinda shoots off into space so to say. I think that's why they get so cranky and want to eat everyone. I mean, if my hair shot off in different directions and I became a fat blob of light, I'd be angry too! How can they...
Announcer, Mogget, Lireal, Sabriel: D. D. SHUT UP!!!
D. D.: Oh...right...Silence passes and crickets chirp...I'm hungry...
GROAN...
Doorbell rings
Mogget: Saved by the bell!
Lireal: I hate that show...
Sabriel: Yeah, who'd want to watch that when you can watch knitting shows?!
Everyone except Sabriel: Er...
Doorbell rings again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again
Lireal: Oh no, someone isn't doorbell happy today...
D. D.: I'm happy! What if I turn myself into a giant doorbell and then...
Sabriel: Can I knit you a bell covering if you do?
Mogget: IT WAS SARCASM!!! points at announcer dude YOU THERE! TAKE OFF THIS COLLAR RIGHT NOW!!!
Announcer dude: Nah...my arm hurts...
Mogget: AUTHOR!!! MAKE HIM TAKE MY COLLAR OFF! WAH!!! Ignores the time freeze and falls on the ground crying and bawling like a baby
Author: But I don't want that to happen...yet...everyone but Mogget pipes up YOU MEAN NEVER! Ouch...yeah...well, I'll unfreeze you and see what happens. HEY! Mogget is already unfrozen! Oh well...unfreezes everyone else
Doorbell rings it rings again and again and again and again and ag...
OKAY! WE GET THE PICTURE!!!!
Erm...anyways...
Sabriel walks up to the door and opens it
Sabriel: Hello?
A salesman pops out of nowhere
Salesman: HI! IS THIS ABHORSEN'S HOUSE?
Sabriel falls back from the salesman yelling at her Ye...UMPH!
Mogget: No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid it's not. This is the House of Mogget, but the Abhorsen lives here and owns the house and rules over it. WHY ARE YOU ASKING?! HOW DO I BENEFIT FROM THIS QUESTION?! DO I GET A FREE BAG OF TOOTSIE ROLLS FOR ANSWERING QUESTION ONE OR DO I JUST GET TO GO ONTO THE NEXT ROUND?!
Lireal: laughing If that's the case, you made one error Mogget. It's the house of litter boxes instead.
D. D.: NOW you're getting the hang of it! Oh yeah! High five Girl friend! Go Lireal! Go! Go! Go Lireal! Go! Go! Dancing around
Mogget: throws a Pooper Scooper at Disreputable Dog
Salesman: HEY! I was selling that!
D.D.: Pooper Scooper Salesman? O.O
Salesman: Well...I kinda got the short straw of the bunch. We decided to draw straws and whoever got the shortest one had to sell pooper scoopers. sigh WHY?! sob Why couldn't I be like my idle...sniff
Lireal: Who was your idle?
Salesman: Well, no one in particular, but I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be popular! And FAMOUS! I wanted to be cliché almost! I wanted to sell...
Sabriel: Yes, go on...
Salesman: looks at the sky dramatically I wanted to sell VACUUM CLEANERS!!! Oh to be a vacuum cleaner salesman...Everyone knows you, meets you once in their lifetime, and despises you like a dead skunk that got hit by a semi and was left in the middle of the road! The sheer joy and happiness! To be SOMEONE! To be a VACUUM CLEANER SALESMAN!
Mogget: ...Right...
D.D.: I'm still hungry you know...
Sabriel: You COULD stop standing in the doorway like a ballerina and go into the kitchen and eat something...
D.D.: Oh yeah! We're out of the time freeze! Smiles I knew that...
Lireal: But D.D...you're made of charter magic...I thought you said you didn't need to eat...
D.D.: Well...I don't. I just like to.
Mogget: You can eat them then. Points at the announcer dude and pooper scooper salesman
Announcer dude: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...passed out on the floor with an empty 6 pack of beer
Lireal: HEY! I WAS SAVING THAT!!!
Everyone: O.o Lireal?
Lireal: Oh, not for me of course...looks around and whistles
CRACK! BOOM! RUMBLE! The bright blue sunny sky with not a cloud in sight suddenly turns overcast, gray, cloudy, and menacing
Salesman: Err...looks like there will be a bad storm...Can I come in?
Sabriel: Sure! I'll go get a bag of chex mix and some...
D.D.: OOOOO! CHEX MIX!!!! Drool disappears into the kitchen with Sabriel
Mogget: flings drool off his head
Lireal: Only if you get HIM points at announcer dude out of here. He drank all my...erm...all of...ummmm.... ABHORSEN'S drinks.... yeah! That's it!
Mogget: Okay. Rolls Announcer dude out the door BYE!!!
CRASH! The sound of pots and pans hitting the floor rings in the air
Mogget: Okay...What did D.D. do NOW?! romps off into the kitchen
Salesman: Thanks for cough letting me stay here cough until the storm clears cough cough
Lireal: Are you okay? That cough sounds bad...want me to get you somethi...
Salesman turns around and his eyes flash red, then he coughs and his face returns to normal
Lireal: GASP! We need to get you some Visine Tears for those eyes first! shuffles off to get some
Salesman looks at the Abhorsen house with his now returning red eyes and reaches out to touch the sword of Abhorsen
AND CUT!
D.D.: I thought this was a story, not a movie...OOOO! A MOVIE! I'M ON T.V.! HI MOM!!!! waves
Author: No! It is a story! That just means we're stopping at that point for now until I can get the third chapter up!
D.D.: OOOO! I'm in a book AND a movie!!! Can we dedicate the book to my dad? And my Uncle Sam and Aunt Sally? And my cousins Ronda, Wendy, George, Peter, and...
Author: It's not a book! It's a fanfic!
D.D.: Okay okay! If you wanted to dedicate it to your family, you could've just said so!
Author: No, that's not what I mean...I mean that...
D.D.: I'm hungry. When's lunch?
Mogget: After breakfast, before dinner with no snacks in between.
D.D.: oh. Have we had breakfast yet?
Mogget: You've had 2 or 3 breakfasts...
Sabriel: Can we stop now? I want to get back to knitting!
Lireal: and I! hides beer cans I want to uh...watch Sabriel knit me a hat, sweater, vest, purse, headband, mittens, gloves, socks, booties, and scarf!
Sabriel: Do you really mean it?!
Lireal: OO Umm..sure...It's making up for when I gripped at you earlier...yeah...groan
Sabriel: YAY!!! dances drags Lireal upstairs to show her all her knittings
Mogget: Okay...well, then let's stop then...
D.D.: and eat! Can we invite the audience for lunch?
Mogget: We're stopping now...slaps forehead No, we can't invite the audience for lunch...We don't have enough food! That's why Abhorsen went to the grocery store. We're stopping now...
D.D.: To get food for the audience?
Mogget: NO! For us because you ate it all! Now go into the kitchen!
D.D.: Okay...let's do everything YOU wanna do! grumble grumble YAY! THE KITCHEN! scampers off
Mogget: Oo Okay. So that's the end of chapter two. You can leave now.
................
Mogget: No, seriously...you can...
................
Mogget: Really...it's over now...
.................
Mogget: GO AWAY! SHEESH!
..........................................
Mogget: Okay...bye now!
..................
Mogget: It's okay! We'll be back in Chapter 3!
.................
Mogget: Ah...forget it...walks off
audience follows Mogget
Mogget: OKAY! DON'T MAKE ME GO FREE MAGIC ON YOU! Tears off collar in rage
Audience leaves
Mogget: THANK YOU! Puts collar back on so that he's unable to get it off again and is just about to start walking away
....................
Mogget: slaps forehead
From the last episode
D. D., Sabriel, Lireal: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Drops everything and dash to Mogget TIME FREEZE!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
Still in a TIME FREEZE!
Lireal: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!!
Sabriel: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!!
D. D.: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BITE YOU ON THE LEG REALLY HARD!!!!
Lireal: Hey Sabriel! You copied me!
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Sabriel: No I didn't. I'm not the one who's typing this script up! Glares at author
Lireal: HUMPH! Well I don't like it that we have the same lines!
Sabriel: Does it really matter?
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Lireal: YES IT DOES! CHANGE IT!
Sabriel: Geeze! Why is it so import...
D. D.: I'm hungry...
Lireal: CHANGE IT!
Author: OK! OK! Sheesh! changes it
Lireal: Thank you...
Sabriel: shrug did I tell you about the latest hat I've knitted?
D. D.: I'm still hungry...
Back to the top
Lireal: DON'T TAKE THE COLLAR OFF!!!! Sabriel: ...Well, it's purple and blue yarn with a red...oh, right, we're back to the top...CEASE AND DESIST THE PROCESS OF REMOVING A SIGNIFICANT RED LEATHER NECK BAND BOUND ACROSS THE CREATURE MOGGET'S VILE THROAT! Is that better Lireal?
Lireal: O.O Nice vocabulary. Yes it is. Now on with the story...
D. D.: Right...can we have a sandwich break first?
Announcer Dude: My arm hurts...
Mogget: Then pull the collar of and be done...Mwahahahahaha...
Announcer Dude: But I'm frozen...I would pull it off if I could. I like little fluffy white kitties.
D. D.: Little white kitties are known to eat ignorant announcers when their collars are taken off...they get these big sharp pointy teeth and scream RAWRAWRAWRAWRAWRAWRAWR! RAWR! At you and they lose their hair too. It just kinda shoots off into space so to say. I think that's why they get so cranky and want to eat everyone. I mean, if my hair shot off in different directions and I became a fat blob of light, I'd be angry too! How can they...
Announcer, Mogget, Lireal, Sabriel: D. D. SHUT UP!!!
D. D.: Oh...right...Silence passes and crickets chirp...I'm hungry...
GROAN...
Doorbell rings
Mogget: Saved by the bell!
Lireal: I hate that show...
Sabriel: Yeah, who'd want to watch that when you can watch knitting shows?!
Everyone except Sabriel: Er...
Doorbell rings again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again
Lireal: Oh no, someone isn't doorbell happy today...
D. D.: I'm happy! What if I turn myself into a giant doorbell and then...
Sabriel: Can I knit you a bell covering if you do?
Mogget: IT WAS SARCASM!!! points at announcer dude YOU THERE! TAKE OFF THIS COLLAR RIGHT NOW!!!
Announcer dude: Nah...my arm hurts...
Mogget: AUTHOR!!! MAKE HIM TAKE MY COLLAR OFF! WAH!!! Ignores the time freeze and falls on the ground crying and bawling like a baby
Author: But I don't want that to happen...yet...everyone but Mogget pipes up YOU MEAN NEVER! Ouch...yeah...well, I'll unfreeze you and see what happens. HEY! Mogget is already unfrozen! Oh well...unfreezes everyone else
Doorbell rings it rings again and again and again and again and ag...
OKAY! WE GET THE PICTURE!!!!
Erm...anyways...
Sabriel walks up to the door and opens it
Sabriel: Hello?
A salesman pops out of nowhere
Salesman: HI! IS THIS ABHORSEN'S HOUSE?
Sabriel falls back from the salesman yelling at her Ye...UMPH!
Mogget: No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid it's not. This is the House of Mogget, but the Abhorsen lives here and owns the house and rules over it. WHY ARE YOU ASKING?! HOW DO I BENEFIT FROM THIS QUESTION?! DO I GET A FREE BAG OF TOOTSIE ROLLS FOR ANSWERING QUESTION ONE OR DO I JUST GET TO GO ONTO THE NEXT ROUND?!
Lireal: laughing If that's the case, you made one error Mogget. It's the house of litter boxes instead.
D. D.: NOW you're getting the hang of it! Oh yeah! High five Girl friend! Go Lireal! Go! Go! Go Lireal! Go! Go! Dancing around
Mogget: throws a Pooper Scooper at Disreputable Dog
Salesman: HEY! I was selling that!
D.D.: Pooper Scooper Salesman? O.O
Salesman: Well...I kinda got the short straw of the bunch. We decided to draw straws and whoever got the shortest one had to sell pooper scoopers. sigh WHY?! sob Why couldn't I be like my idle...sniff
Lireal: Who was your idle?
Salesman: Well, no one in particular, but I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be popular! And FAMOUS! I wanted to be cliché almost! I wanted to sell...
Sabriel: Yes, go on...
Salesman: looks at the sky dramatically I wanted to sell VACUUM CLEANERS!!! Oh to be a vacuum cleaner salesman...Everyone knows you, meets you once in their lifetime, and despises you like a dead skunk that got hit by a semi and was left in the middle of the road! The sheer joy and happiness! To be SOMEONE! To be a VACUUM CLEANER SALESMAN!
Mogget: ...Right...
D.D.: I'm still hungry you know...
Sabriel: You COULD stop standing in the doorway like a ballerina and go into the kitchen and eat something...
D.D.: Oh yeah! We're out of the time freeze! Smiles I knew that...
Lireal: But D.D...you're made of charter magic...I thought you said you didn't need to eat...
D.D.: Well...I don't. I just like to.
Mogget: You can eat them then. Points at the announcer dude and pooper scooper salesman
Announcer dude: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...passed out on the floor with an empty 6 pack of beer
Lireal: HEY! I WAS SAVING THAT!!!
Everyone: O.o Lireal?
Lireal: Oh, not for me of course...looks around and whistles
CRACK! BOOM! RUMBLE! The bright blue sunny sky with not a cloud in sight suddenly turns overcast, gray, cloudy, and menacing
Salesman: Err...looks like there will be a bad storm...Can I come in?
Sabriel: Sure! I'll go get a bag of chex mix and some...
D.D.: OOOOO! CHEX MIX!!!! Drool disappears into the kitchen with Sabriel
Mogget: flings drool off his head
Lireal: Only if you get HIM points at announcer dude out of here. He drank all my...erm...all of...ummmm.... ABHORSEN'S drinks.... yeah! That's it!
Mogget: Okay. Rolls Announcer dude out the door BYE!!!
CRASH! The sound of pots and pans hitting the floor rings in the air
Mogget: Okay...What did D.D. do NOW?! romps off into the kitchen
Salesman: Thanks for cough letting me stay here cough until the storm clears cough cough
Lireal: Are you okay? That cough sounds bad...want me to get you somethi...
Salesman turns around and his eyes flash red, then he coughs and his face returns to normal
Lireal: GASP! We need to get you some Visine Tears for those eyes first! shuffles off to get some
Salesman looks at the Abhorsen house with his now returning red eyes and reaches out to touch the sword of Abhorsen
AND CUT!
D.D.: I thought this was a story, not a movie...OOOO! A MOVIE! I'M ON T.V.! HI MOM!!!! waves
Author: No! It is a story! That just means we're stopping at that point for now until I can get the third chapter up!
D.D.: OOOO! I'm in a book AND a movie!!! Can we dedicate the book to my dad? And my Uncle Sam and Aunt Sally? And my cousins Ronda, Wendy, George, Peter, and...
Author: It's not a book! It's a fanfic!
D.D.: Okay okay! If you wanted to dedicate it to your family, you could've just said so!
Author: No, that's not what I mean...I mean that...
D.D.: I'm hungry. When's lunch?
Mogget: After breakfast, before dinner with no snacks in between.
D.D.: oh. Have we had breakfast yet?
Mogget: You've had 2 or 3 breakfasts...
Sabriel: Can we stop now? I want to get back to knitting!
Lireal: and I! hides beer cans I want to uh...watch Sabriel knit me a hat, sweater, vest, purse, headband, mittens, gloves, socks, booties, and scarf!
Sabriel: Do you really mean it?!
Lireal: OO Umm..sure...It's making up for when I gripped at you earlier...yeah...groan
Sabriel: YAY!!! dances drags Lireal upstairs to show her all her knittings
Mogget: Okay...well, then let's stop then...
D.D.: and eat! Can we invite the audience for lunch?
Mogget: We're stopping now...slaps forehead No, we can't invite the audience for lunch...We don't have enough food! That's why Abhorsen went to the grocery store. We're stopping now...
D.D.: To get food for the audience?
Mogget: NO! For us because you ate it all! Now go into the kitchen!
D.D.: Okay...let's do everything YOU wanna do! grumble grumble YAY! THE KITCHEN! scampers off
Mogget: Oo Okay. So that's the end of chapter two. You can leave now.
................
Mogget: No, seriously...you can...
................
Mogget: Really...it's over now...
.................
Mogget: GO AWAY! SHEESH!
..........................................
Mogget: Okay...bye now!
..................
Mogget: It's okay! We'll be back in Chapter 3!
.................
Mogget: Ah...forget it...walks off
audience follows Mogget
Mogget: OKAY! DON'T MAKE ME GO FREE MAGIC ON YOU! Tears off collar in rage
Audience leaves
Mogget: THANK YOU! Puts collar back on so that he's unable to get it off again and is just about to start walking away
....................
Mogget: slaps forehead