Chapter 2: Koopalings and Shiny Things
Same Old, Same Old... Bowser thought, inspecting his sharp claws absent-mindedly. He only heard small fragments of the sounds around him as he stared out the window of the Throne Room.
"We could... dig from underground... knocking out... bind her..."
His right hand koopa, Chief Magikoopa Kamek, was animatedly describing his most recent plan to capture the Princess and her kingdom. However, Bowser's attention was drawn to a small barred window in the dungeons, which could be viewed from the large window by his throne. A dim light flickered through the bars, and rather loud arguing could be heard from the miserable confinement.
"Bring her here...ransom..."
"Kamek, how long have the Koopalings been down there?" King Koopa asked, still not looking at the magikoopa.
Kamek adjusted his glasses slightly, and sniffed, rather annoyed at being so rudely interrupted, "The Koopalings, sire?"
"Yes. What did you think I said?"
"Oh, I never said I did not know, your vileness. I was just wondering why you would ask-"
"Just answer me."
Kamek swallowed his words and looked up, "Thirteen months, Sir."
"Ah. Let them out."
"Let them out? You said yourself that you never wanted to see their ugly, useless-"
"Do -not- question my judgment, Kamek, or you'll be taking their place!" the King shouted, losing his patience with the shivering koopa standing in his shadow, "Release them from their cell. I demand they come to me, I need to speak with them..."
Kamek reluctantly bowed, "As you wish..." and promptly disappeared into thin air.
"Papa? Why are you letting them back out?" Bowser Jr. whined, frowning, "Why can't they just stay there?"
"Junior, sometimes you just have to use people to your advantage, rule number one in my books. Remember that," Bowser said, looking down at his son with cold eyes. "Now shut up."
Junior scowled, being sure not to do so while his father was looking, and plopped back down into his seat, waiting eagerly for the koopalings to arrive. He couldn't wait until they showed up, who knows what torture his father would force them to endure. The small koopa giggled in delight at the prospect of torture, while Kamek rounded the corner.
"The koopalings are present, your gruesomeness," he said with another sweeping bow, and the seven koopalings stumbled into the room.
"So..." Bowser began, rising out of his chair to his full height, bathing them in his dark shadow, "Do you think you've done enough time?"
They remained silent, half out of fear of speaking, half out of not knowing what to say to the big hulking monster that was their father. Finally, Ludwig stepped forward, being the most intelligent of the group, and quietly said the best answer he could come up with, "Yes, Father, we believe that we have received the adequate amount of punishment for our actions..."
"What if I said you didn't?"
"What?" Lemmy squeaked, "Thirteen months wasn't enough for him?" he whispered.
"What if I said you could avoid going down there again if you helped me out properly this time. No screw ups," the King said, eyeing each of them dangerously, "No failure, or you get more than the dungeons this time..." he said, making a quick jerking hand gesture across his throat. They nodded vigorously, knowing that refusal would land them in the dungeons again, and next time, they might not get out.
Junior growled in disappointment, he was hoping to see some heads roll. Maybe if I can get them to screw up...
"We think that is wonderful proposition, father." Ludwig said, nodding his head in co-ordination with his six siblings, "We accept."
"Agreed. Now, instead of splitting you up like countless times before, you'll team up. Mario can't possibly go up against eight koopas and a tank, can he?" Bowser asked, leaning down towards the koopalings, a oothy grin on his reptilian lips.
"Eight?" Wendy said, perplexed, "Daddy, there's seven of us, learn to count."
"Junior will be joining you as well, he managed to be quite a problem for Mario earlier, with the eight of you, we can finally win!"
Wendy looked to Bowser's right and saw Junior. She scowled at him, and he stuck his tongue out at her, mouthing dirty words at her and the other six koopas. A long silence followed, containing a series of glares being exchanged between both parties.
"I get it. Like an army!" Morton bellowed, pounding one fist into the palm of his hand, "We get to kick Mario's ass and take the kingdom!"
"Way to go, brainiac. You figured out that one a lot quicker than I expected," Roy spat, elbowing Morton hard in the ribs, "That's for thinking!"
"Now now boys, I'd save all that violence for the Marios," Bowser said in a mock-motherly tone, "Get up to bed now, all of you, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow!" he smirked.
"For it will be the downfall of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"Wow. Wow wow wow wow woah."
"You said it."
The mountain of treasure towered before the two men, who stood in its strangely satisfying shadow, nearly drooling at the wealth before them. The short, fat one babbled on and on, staring at the sparkling gold. While the much taller, skinnier one merely stood back and admired it, avoiding babbling like a fool.
"Oh yessssss!" Wario yelled, nearly diving into the massive pile of coins, "Yes yes yes! This should buy me at least four castles!"
"Only you? Excuse me, I'm the one who got us in!" Waluigi snarled, leaning down and pointing at Wario accusingly, "I say I get at LEAST 50"
"45," Wario said, sneering at his brother.
"50"
"30"
"25!" Waluigi said, trying to keep his face straight, and serious.
"60!"
"Deal!" Waluigi shrieked, thrusting his hand into Wario's and forcing a handshake. "Pleasure doing business with you."
"Wah?" Wario felt as if he'd been tricked, but shrugged it off, he couldn't thing straight when he was surrounded by more treasure he'd seen in his life.
"Now, we need ta figure out a way to get alla this outta here!" Wario said, grabbing coins and stuffing them into his pockets, his shoes, even his shirt (although most of the room was already taken up.)
Waluigi sighed, and dropped the empty sack he had been carrying for just such an occasion. He began to fill it with the treasure, watching Wario bounce around with the coins in his shoes and pockets flying in varioud directions.
"Hey, brainless," Waluigi called out, holding up the sack, and shook it back and forth, "looking for this?"
Wario bounced over to Waluigi and joyously began emptying his pockets and shoes into the sack, "Who'd be dumb enough ta leave all this here, when I'm around?" he laughed.
"Eh, let's hurry up and leave. I don't like it here much. I'll bet there's traps and stuff."
"Ah, quit your worryin'. There's nothing for miles, this dingy old mansion's deserted. Don't be stupid," the stout man said, letting the coins fall from his hands and into the overflowing sack.
"Nobody here, huh?" an eerie voice echoed off the mansion walls, making the two plumbers go rigid with fright, "Hah, you can't be too smart can you now?"
"Who's there?"
"Just someone here to teach you a lesson..."
"What'll you...do..."
"Ever wondered what it's like to be a ghost?"