Because Of Love
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary I found love in a boy that knew no family... he knew no riches. He couldn't fall in love either way. He couldn't go into a loving family... He had money... it was material and it meant nothing. He pushed it all away.
Because Of Love
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Love (lîv) n.
1: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2: a feeling of intense desire and attractions towards a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3: An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
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Many go through life searching for meaning... searching for the reason to live. Some want money, jewels, houses, riches... over-all treasures. Others want love; family, friends, lovers, husbands, wives, children... ability to find beauty in others. Depending on the personality, you want one; one over- runs the other. You can believe that no price is worth your family... or that no family is worth your price.
I found love in a boy that knew no family... he knew no riches. He couldn't fall in love either way. He couldn't go into a loving family; he wasn't ready to have a mother that cooked for him... or a father that cared about his day. He had money... loads more than my family. It was material... it meant nothing. After his fifth year in school he found no need to for anything material... he wanted no love. He pushed away all of it.
He wanted no part in shopping... buying necessities for the family. He didn't want to be comforted; he was learning to comfort himself. He wasn't able to live and love when it had led him to so much pain. Love; a blessing and a cruse... hope and deception... lies and truth. I saw that he found no escape... no path to take other than the one he had no control over; the one he was destine to. Death or life would consume him. Each having their pro's and con's. I could see him stare blankly into the fire; he never had that gaze that I loved. He never found himself wanting to play Quidditch or dying to do magic.
Magic had taken it all from him: his family, related and not... loyal enough to fight for him; his friends... loyal enough to die for him; his teachers... loyal enough to lie when the truth stung too much and touched him way too deep. It was the lie that hit him the hardest. He now knew his fate. He had wished to know it sooner... maybe he would have taken more risks... lived a different life. If only he'd have known about the Prophecy... if only he had known about his fate...
I always found myself searching for him in crowds these days... looking for him at cafes... praying for him before my head hits the pillow. He was oblivious to it all. He could not find love now. He could not love me and fight then, and he can't now. He could not deal with school, Quidditch, Slytherins, teachers, the Prophecy, Voldemort... and find the love I wanted him to; the love I needed him to. Yes... I was in love with the Boy-Who- Lived. I fell... and I fell hard. I fell quickly and I fell quietly. I didn't bother to take the risks of trying to win his heart. I was very observant over his actions and his way of going about his every-day life. He didn't need the drama of a girlfriend. Now that he knew his fate. Kill Voldemort... or die trying.
And, God, do I wish he had fallen for me. Do I wish every day that it could have happened differently. That he wouldn't have stepped out to the field... and given away it all. I still can't believe it. I watched it... tears forming in my eyes... I watched him battle. I watched him win... and I watched myself lose.
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The gray sky was covered with clouds, rain was waiting to fall from them as they hovered over the Ministry of Magic. Good faced evil for a battle unknown to most... Dumbledore had called the troops... the Order and the Army. The Aurors were set... they were ready to fight Voldemort's Death Eaters. But Harry wasn't ready.
His wand held clutched in his hand. He stepped out to meet fate. He took it like a man; like the man I fell in love with. I had to admit to myself that I had lost him. Win or lose... if Harry dies or not...he'll never be the same. He will not be able to walk towards me and smile that genuine smile. Nor will he be able to come home with us and go for a game of Quidditch. Life seems so much more painful than death now, for the Boy-Who-Lived...
As the battle went on, hexes were thrown and it looked like victory for the Order; for the Wizarding World. It looked as though the good side had won, as though the end of evil was lurking behind the statue of the broken elf, and the missing Centaur. The very same fountain where Harry faced Voldemort in his fifth year; yes he had told me... in our late night discussions where we would talk about our fears, our past, our hopes for the future. He hoped for power... Power to defeat the Dark Lord. Power that he didn't know he had; the power I knew he had. Victory was almost certain... until he came. Voldemort came... his wand held out high and his laugh cruel.
"Nothing can be done," I remember hearing Harry say. "You cannot kill me with the wand that shares my core."
He laughed that high pitched laugh... my limbs went stiff... I sat there, horrorstruck. "Foolish Mudblood lover. Foolish like your father. Surely you don't mean to settle this the Muggle way, do you Harry?"
I remember seeing the determination in his eyes and I suddenly felt alone. The world as I knew it went quiet. I looked up and caught the eye of Voldemort. Harry followed his gaze and saw me. For the longest time I heard Harry yelling, "Go, Ginny! Leave! You could be killed!" But I stayed frozen. I stayed staring at Voldemort and hating him for being the cause of Harry's pain... for making me unable to find the love I knew he was capable of giving me.
"So this is Harry Potter's new weakness? The love for the blood-traitors family. The youngest daughter of the family that held my Death Eater... Well, if this is who Harry Potter loves... then this is who Harry Potter will lose..."
Voldemort laughed loudly and sent the Cruciatus curse at me; I dodged it, but only just. "Putting up a fight, are you Weasley?"
"Leave her alone! You're here to fight me... you're here to die at the hands of me!" Harry moved quickly towards Voldemort, his wand held up threateningly.
"You said it yourself, Harry.... Wands are of no use. Wormtail, if you would."
The bald headed man walked towards Voldemort and took the wand, "My lord..."
"It won't be for long, Wormtail. Harry's not man enough to fight a wandless man. He plays too good... too weak to beat the Greatest Sorcerer—"
Harry pulled out the sword of Godric Gryffindor. He slowly advanced on Voldemort. But Voldemort moved towards me... he took me as his new doll.
"You say you do not love her, am I right? Then kill her too, Harry. Kill this Ginny Weasley."
I didn't bother to wonder how Voldemort knew my name. I locked eyes with Harry. This was the end. The end of Voldemort. I remember shouting, "Go Harry! Just kill me!"
He shook his head no, but lifted his sword up and continued to move closer to me—
I woke up not too long after and looked at the ground where Voldemort and Harry lay. Aurors were all around collecting the Death Eaters body. I saw Wormtail being stupefied and I saw Voldemort's broken wand. Some of the Death Eaters were hissing at Wormtail. They called him a traitor... they said it's his fault their master is dead... I walked towards Harry, kneeling by his side.
"Harry! Harry, wake up! Please wake up!" The tears streamed down my face. It wasn't fair! Voldemort's gone... Harry can't be... he couldn't have...
But when I looked around me I saw the Wizarding World in shock... I saw my mum in tears. I had done it. Because of me... he's gone. I stayed when he told me to leave. I was the one he had to kill to get to Voldemort. I left Voldemort the chance to strike first. And as I bawled over my first and last love's life-less body, I remember it all. I remember the fact that he had to die. That he couldn't love anyone... regardless if they could love him. He lost his whole world because of love. And because of love... I lost my whole world. No matter what the Auror's told me... no matter what my family said to try to convince me, I knew the truth: I lost Harry Potter, and even though love might have saved him all those years ago... he is gone; he was defeated right here, and right now, because of love.
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"Harry was... there is no one word that can describe my hero. He wasn't the most brilliant... or the most studious—but he caught my attention early on. Many knew that I had a crush on Harry when I was a young girl; but did you know I fell in love?... You may go home today, grieving for the lost of our hero... but will you go grieving for the loss of love? I will. Every day of my life will be spent grieving for the man I loved. They told me that he had killed Voldemort with the sword of his ancestors... but there was too much connected between Voldemort and Harry to have one live while the other died...."
I picked a flower from the bouquet I held and threw it into the wind. The funeral was open for the Wizarding World... They witnessed their saviour's funeral... but they did not witness his death... nor did they love him.
"Harry lived to fulfill the Prophecy stating that he and only he, could kill Voldemort. As long as I've known Harry... he's been troubled. He's lived a life that none can imagine. He went through more in one school year than most in their lifetime... more than people wish to live. The fame he held was painful to him... You knew his name because he saved the world... you knew him as the Boy-Who-Lived because his parents were murdered by the man that couldn't murder him. If he enjoyed fame... then he's not the man I fell in love with....
"Even as he lies here, unable to hear me speak of my love... I know he's in a better place now. When I fell in love with him I should have known it was unrequited love... he couldn't love even if he wanted to... he couldn't love even if he allowed himself to. He wasn't able to carry his burden and have a strong life most eighteen year olds are able to attain.
"All I ask is for you to go home... and if you grieve do not grieve for me and my lost love. Grieve for the loss of the Boy-Who-Lived. Grieve because love took away the best guy I've ever met... Because of love Harry Potter is gone."
As I sit down, I hear the crowd clap respectably. I sat down between my father and Bill... as Dumbledore reached the podium I bit my lip letting tears silently fall down my cheeks. And I realize that this is the second time Harry hasn't been here to wipe my tears; he never will be able to again...
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A/N: I've wanted to write one like this for a while. I'm considering revising the end. Let me know what you think. Personally I think the whole thing is not sad enough... drop a view, please.
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary I found love in a boy that knew no family... he knew no riches. He couldn't fall in love either way. He couldn't go into a loving family... He had money... it was material and it meant nothing. He pushed it all away.
Because Of Love
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Love (lîv) n.
1: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2: a feeling of intense desire and attractions towards a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3: An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Many go through life searching for meaning... searching for the reason to live. Some want money, jewels, houses, riches... over-all treasures. Others want love; family, friends, lovers, husbands, wives, children... ability to find beauty in others. Depending on the personality, you want one; one over- runs the other. You can believe that no price is worth your family... or that no family is worth your price.
I found love in a boy that knew no family... he knew no riches. He couldn't fall in love either way. He couldn't go into a loving family; he wasn't ready to have a mother that cooked for him... or a father that cared about his day. He had money... loads more than my family. It was material... it meant nothing. After his fifth year in school he found no need to for anything material... he wanted no love. He pushed away all of it.
He wanted no part in shopping... buying necessities for the family. He didn't want to be comforted; he was learning to comfort himself. He wasn't able to live and love when it had led him to so much pain. Love; a blessing and a cruse... hope and deception... lies and truth. I saw that he found no escape... no path to take other than the one he had no control over; the one he was destine to. Death or life would consume him. Each having their pro's and con's. I could see him stare blankly into the fire; he never had that gaze that I loved. He never found himself wanting to play Quidditch or dying to do magic.
Magic had taken it all from him: his family, related and not... loyal enough to fight for him; his friends... loyal enough to die for him; his teachers... loyal enough to lie when the truth stung too much and touched him way too deep. It was the lie that hit him the hardest. He now knew his fate. He had wished to know it sooner... maybe he would have taken more risks... lived a different life. If only he'd have known about the Prophecy... if only he had known about his fate...
I always found myself searching for him in crowds these days... looking for him at cafes... praying for him before my head hits the pillow. He was oblivious to it all. He could not find love now. He could not love me and fight then, and he can't now. He could not deal with school, Quidditch, Slytherins, teachers, the Prophecy, Voldemort... and find the love I wanted him to; the love I needed him to. Yes... I was in love with the Boy-Who- Lived. I fell... and I fell hard. I fell quickly and I fell quietly. I didn't bother to take the risks of trying to win his heart. I was very observant over his actions and his way of going about his every-day life. He didn't need the drama of a girlfriend. Now that he knew his fate. Kill Voldemort... or die trying.
And, God, do I wish he had fallen for me. Do I wish every day that it could have happened differently. That he wouldn't have stepped out to the field... and given away it all. I still can't believe it. I watched it... tears forming in my eyes... I watched him battle. I watched him win... and I watched myself lose.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
The gray sky was covered with clouds, rain was waiting to fall from them as they hovered over the Ministry of Magic. Good faced evil for a battle unknown to most... Dumbledore had called the troops... the Order and the Army. The Aurors were set... they were ready to fight Voldemort's Death Eaters. But Harry wasn't ready.
His wand held clutched in his hand. He stepped out to meet fate. He took it like a man; like the man I fell in love with. I had to admit to myself that I had lost him. Win or lose... if Harry dies or not...he'll never be the same. He will not be able to walk towards me and smile that genuine smile. Nor will he be able to come home with us and go for a game of Quidditch. Life seems so much more painful than death now, for the Boy-Who-Lived...
As the battle went on, hexes were thrown and it looked like victory for the Order; for the Wizarding World. It looked as though the good side had won, as though the end of evil was lurking behind the statue of the broken elf, and the missing Centaur. The very same fountain where Harry faced Voldemort in his fifth year; yes he had told me... in our late night discussions where we would talk about our fears, our past, our hopes for the future. He hoped for power... Power to defeat the Dark Lord. Power that he didn't know he had; the power I knew he had. Victory was almost certain... until he came. Voldemort came... his wand held out high and his laugh cruel.
"Nothing can be done," I remember hearing Harry say. "You cannot kill me with the wand that shares my core."
He laughed that high pitched laugh... my limbs went stiff... I sat there, horrorstruck. "Foolish Mudblood lover. Foolish like your father. Surely you don't mean to settle this the Muggle way, do you Harry?"
I remember seeing the determination in his eyes and I suddenly felt alone. The world as I knew it went quiet. I looked up and caught the eye of Voldemort. Harry followed his gaze and saw me. For the longest time I heard Harry yelling, "Go, Ginny! Leave! You could be killed!" But I stayed frozen. I stayed staring at Voldemort and hating him for being the cause of Harry's pain... for making me unable to find the love I knew he was capable of giving me.
"So this is Harry Potter's new weakness? The love for the blood-traitors family. The youngest daughter of the family that held my Death Eater... Well, if this is who Harry Potter loves... then this is who Harry Potter will lose..."
Voldemort laughed loudly and sent the Cruciatus curse at me; I dodged it, but only just. "Putting up a fight, are you Weasley?"
"Leave her alone! You're here to fight me... you're here to die at the hands of me!" Harry moved quickly towards Voldemort, his wand held up threateningly.
"You said it yourself, Harry.... Wands are of no use. Wormtail, if you would."
The bald headed man walked towards Voldemort and took the wand, "My lord..."
"It won't be for long, Wormtail. Harry's not man enough to fight a wandless man. He plays too good... too weak to beat the Greatest Sorcerer—"
Harry pulled out the sword of Godric Gryffindor. He slowly advanced on Voldemort. But Voldemort moved towards me... he took me as his new doll.
"You say you do not love her, am I right? Then kill her too, Harry. Kill this Ginny Weasley."
I didn't bother to wonder how Voldemort knew my name. I locked eyes with Harry. This was the end. The end of Voldemort. I remember shouting, "Go Harry! Just kill me!"
He shook his head no, but lifted his sword up and continued to move closer to me—
I woke up not too long after and looked at the ground where Voldemort and Harry lay. Aurors were all around collecting the Death Eaters body. I saw Wormtail being stupefied and I saw Voldemort's broken wand. Some of the Death Eaters were hissing at Wormtail. They called him a traitor... they said it's his fault their master is dead... I walked towards Harry, kneeling by his side.
"Harry! Harry, wake up! Please wake up!" The tears streamed down my face. It wasn't fair! Voldemort's gone... Harry can't be... he couldn't have...
But when I looked around me I saw the Wizarding World in shock... I saw my mum in tears. I had done it. Because of me... he's gone. I stayed when he told me to leave. I was the one he had to kill to get to Voldemort. I left Voldemort the chance to strike first. And as I bawled over my first and last love's life-less body, I remember it all. I remember the fact that he had to die. That he couldn't love anyone... regardless if they could love him. He lost his whole world because of love. And because of love... I lost my whole world. No matter what the Auror's told me... no matter what my family said to try to convince me, I knew the truth: I lost Harry Potter, and even though love might have saved him all those years ago... he is gone; he was defeated right here, and right now, because of love.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
"Harry was... there is no one word that can describe my hero. He wasn't the most brilliant... or the most studious—but he caught my attention early on. Many knew that I had a crush on Harry when I was a young girl; but did you know I fell in love?... You may go home today, grieving for the lost of our hero... but will you go grieving for the loss of love? I will. Every day of my life will be spent grieving for the man I loved. They told me that he had killed Voldemort with the sword of his ancestors... but there was too much connected between Voldemort and Harry to have one live while the other died...."
I picked a flower from the bouquet I held and threw it into the wind. The funeral was open for the Wizarding World... They witnessed their saviour's funeral... but they did not witness his death... nor did they love him.
"Harry lived to fulfill the Prophecy stating that he and only he, could kill Voldemort. As long as I've known Harry... he's been troubled. He's lived a life that none can imagine. He went through more in one school year than most in their lifetime... more than people wish to live. The fame he held was painful to him... You knew his name because he saved the world... you knew him as the Boy-Who-Lived because his parents were murdered by the man that couldn't murder him. If he enjoyed fame... then he's not the man I fell in love with....
"Even as he lies here, unable to hear me speak of my love... I know he's in a better place now. When I fell in love with him I should have known it was unrequited love... he couldn't love even if he wanted to... he couldn't love even if he allowed himself to. He wasn't able to carry his burden and have a strong life most eighteen year olds are able to attain.
"All I ask is for you to go home... and if you grieve do not grieve for me and my lost love. Grieve for the loss of the Boy-Who-Lived. Grieve because love took away the best guy I've ever met... Because of love Harry Potter is gone."
As I sit down, I hear the crowd clap respectably. I sat down between my father and Bill... as Dumbledore reached the podium I bit my lip letting tears silently fall down my cheeks. And I realize that this is the second time Harry hasn't been here to wipe my tears; he never will be able to again...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------
A/N: I've wanted to write one like this for a while. I'm considering revising the end. Let me know what you think. Personally I think the whole thing is not sad enough... drop a view, please.
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus