Goddard, Come Home

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 2:

After school let out for the day Carl and Sheen accompanied Jimmy back to his lab where Jimmy immediately set to work on his latest idea. Although Carl and Sheen had been in the lab numerous times and were familiar with most of the equipment there Jimmy busied himself with something neither had seen before. It looked something like a cross between an electric blender and mixer, with some features of a microwave oven and old-style radio set thrown in. Both Carl and Sheen watched in fascination as Jimmy fussed over the device.

"Hey, Jimmy, what's that you're messing with?" Sheen asked at last.

"The Gene Manipulator 2000," Jimmy answered without looking up from what he was doing. "It's the latest word in genetic sequencing, recombination, and splicing. With this, I can create the perfect pet from the genes up."

"Your pet is going to wear pants?" asked Carl, puzzled.

"No, Carl," Jimmy replied patiently as he paused to explain. "Inside every cell are special structures called genes. Each gene determines something about how the cell is going to develop. Some genes determine what type of organism the cells are going to turn into, like cats or dogs, while others determine something about them, like the color of their eyes or hair, and still others decide what the cell will be, like part of an arm or a leg. Genes determine everything about you. For example, it's because of some of your genes that you're a boy instead of a girl."

"Man, you'd better hang on to those, Carl," suggested Sheen. "It would be pretty embarrassing if you lost them and turned into a girl. Can you imagine how much it would cost to get a whole new wardrobe at this point?"

Despite Carl's look of alarm Jimmy decided that setting things right wasn't worth the time it would take to straighten things out. "I wouldn't worry about it, Carl," he said simply as he resumed his work. "Your jeans are pretty safe where they are."

Sheen moved in for a closer look "So what are you going to make, Jimmy? A Talosian magmar beast? An Argelian plasma leech? A Vegan brain sloth?"

"Stop it, Sheen!" screamed Carl, covering his ears. "Don't let Jimmy make any of those things!"

"Oh, please, Carl. Ultra Lord could take out all of those things with one disrupter tied behind his back."

"Ultra Lord isn't here," grumbled Carl.

"That's true," Sheen conceded. "Still…Jimmy could make a giant man-eating lima bean. We know how to beat those. And the last one was delicious."

"No more giant lima beans!"

"Guys, guys, hold it down," Jimmy called out impatiently. "I already know what I'm going to make."

"What?" asked Sheen and Carl simultaneously.

"I don't have a name for it yet," said Jimmy. "But I've gone over the pertinent data and have determined the most desirable characteristics to incorporate."

"And those are…?" Sheen inquired.

"First, it has to be small and cuddly," said Jimmy as he ticked off his fingers.

"Like Mr. Wuggles," agreed Carl.

"Second, it has to look, feel, sound, and smell pleasant."

"Yeah, I can see where that would be desirable," Sheen said thoughtfully.

"Third, it has to be good-tempered."

"Like Swimmy," said Carl.

"Fourth, it has to be intelligent."

"So it has to be a boy," offered Sheen, who then flinched and looked quickly around. "Oh, right. Libby isn't here."

"And finally, it has to grow fast."

"Why does it have to grow fast?" Carl asked.

"Because I need to have it fully grown before next Friday so I can finish my report," replied Jimmy. "So let's see…I think I have just about everything I need to begin. I have Mr. Wuggles' DNA pattern on file from when I was perfecting my Telepod so that should cover the small, cuddly, and pleasant aspects. Intelligence and disposition I can get from our human DNA. The only thing left is something for making it grow fast." Jimmy' eyes travelled thoughtfully around the lab and his face brightened as he caught sight of something on a plate on a nearby table. He dashed over and picked it up. "Aha! The perfect thing!"

Sheen looked skeptically. "A slice of leftover pizza? Is this thing supposed to taste pleasant as well?"

"Not the pizza, Sheen. This!" Jimmy removed one of the toppings and held it up. "Mushrooms! One of the fastest growing things known!"

Carl looked doubtful. "Do you want your pet to be part mushroom? Is that a good idea?"

"No, Carl. I just need the gene that stimulates rapid growth. I can isolate that and splice it in." He paused. "I think. In any case, there's only one way to find out."

"Well, gee, Jimmy, I dunno," Sheen put in. "Maybe Carl has a point. I can understand you using hamster DNA and human DNA to create some unnatural genetic abomination, but mushrooms are kind of creepy."
"And I'm allergic," added Carl, his nose twitching.

"Carl's right, Jimmy. Think of all those monster movies with plants trying to take over the world. You might be creating a monster that could mean the end of civilization as we know it! For the love of humanity, stop and think what you're doing!" Sheen cried as he dropped to his knees in front of Jimmy and wrung his hands.

"There's nothing to worry about," Jimmy reassured Sheen.

"Oh. Well, then, I'm satisfied," said Sheen, standing up and dusting off the knees of his pants. "Let's make some monsters!"

Carl was not so easily convinced. "Why shouldn't we worry?" he wanted to know.

"Because during the gestation process the Gene Manipulator 2000 will be imprinting my brain wave pattern on the developing organism. In effect, my pet will have already bonded with me, the way ducklings bond with the first moving thing they see after they hatch and follow it without question." Jimmy shook his head. "There's no way this could create a monster."

"I suppose not," admitted Carl.

"No way," agreed Sheen. "Let's get started!"

Jimmy resumed his work, confident that everything was under control. What he and the others failed to appreciate at the time, however, was that sometimes the worst monsters were not created as monsters.

End of Part 1.