Title: Jerry Springer; Yu-Gi-Oh Style
Author: Pyro-Panda
Chapter: 1, Mai, Mai, Mai, what do we have here?
Rating: PG15
Author's notes: I'm currently working on another story, but I wanted something really light and fun to do as I'm working on it, and I came up with this. Normally I write about five chapters, and update every three or so days and because I have already got five chapters done the updates get done faster. Not with this one however. I don't really like how it turned out, so I need to know what people think.
Chiba: Sorry Pyro, but this is pretty bad. That's why she hasn't written any other chapters, or even planned any. Cause it sucks so much she don't wanna write a heap then have everyone hate it.
Pyro: Also tell me about the layout and how it's written. I've never written in this format before and personally I find it quite annoying, but like I said, I wanted it pretty light work. Also, I've uploaded this before as the title: Jerry Springer; Yu-Gi-Oh Style, but it got removed, I think because it had Jerry Springers name in it, so for my sake that title is not just Yu-Gi-Oh fights.
Disclaimer: I claim no rights to Yu-Gi-Oh. I am writing this for non-profit so please don't sue me. I also don't own Jerry Springer.
Right, I'm making a table, because I myself was extremely confused when I first started reading Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfics. Also, considering I came from watching only English episodes (but I want to get my hands on the subbed Japanese episodes, which, by the way if any readers out there have, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE e-mail me because I really want them!). Um, also note that the Japanese names are written English style as in first name then last name. If you notice any inaccuracies please tell me because I want this table perfect. When I say "I'll call her/him" I mean when I'm writing from the authors point of view. Yugi isn't going to be calling Seto… well "Seto.". And the whole Malik/Marik thing is wayyyy to confusing to me. Even if I'm wrong about it, you can see from my table how my story operates! Also, if anyone could leave in their review the whole Hikari = Light, Aibou = ?? and all that stuff I would love it. I had this in a really nice easy-to-read table, but it doesn't show up on FF.Net so you'll have to deal with the way it is done here.
English ======= Japanese ======= I call her/him
Yugi Moto ===== Yuugi Mutou ====== Yugi
Yami Yugi (Pharaoh Atem) == Yami no Yuugi (Pharaoh Atemu) == Atemu
Téa Gardner ==== Anzu Mazaki ====== Anzu
Seto Kaiba ===== Seto Kaiba ======= Seto
Mokuba Kaiba == Mokuba Kaiba ===== Mokuba
Ishizu Ishtar ==== Isis Ishtaaru ======== Isis
Marik Ishtar === Malik Ishtaaru ======= Malik
Yami Marik === Yami no Malik ======= Yami Malik
Ryou Bakura == Ryou Bakura ======== Ryou
Yami Bakura == Yami no Bakura ====== Yami Bakura
Joseph Wheeler == Jounouchi Katsuya === Jou
Serenity Wheeler == Shizuka Katsuya ==== Shizuka
Tristan Taylor ==== Hiroto Honda ====== Honda
Duke Devlin ===== Ryuji Otogi ======= Otogi
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Pryo: Have you ever had the feeling your lover isn't being totally honest?
Reviewers: BooooOooOo!
Pyro: Have you ever though that your heart being stomped on and thrown out was out of the blue, until you looked back and realized all the signs were there? Well today these sneaky cheats fess up!
Reviewers cheer and such.
Pyro: Meet Jou, he says he isn't being totally honest to his lover. Please, Jou…
Reviewers: Boo.
Jou: Shut up! You don't know what it's like, you don't know at all!
Jou stands up and begins to abuse the crowd
Jou: All of you SHUT UP! You want a piece of me bitch? Huh? HUH?
Pyro: Please, sit down Jou.
Jou: Okay well it's like this. Me and Mai have been dating for the last four months right? And she is FOX! I mean, F-O-C-K-S. Fox! But the thing is, she's so damn hot I think she's not only got me strung along.
Reviewers: Boo!!
Jou: So I decided that rather than get a bitch slap from her, I'd get there first!
Reviewers: cheer and clap.
Pyro: (God you are a fickle lot) Anyway, lets bring out your girlfriend Mai!
Mai: What the fuck is this?! FOUR MONTHS JOU! FOUR MONTHS!
Jou stands up and backs away from the crazy blonde, as she chases him across the stage.
Pyro: Yeah, sorry Jou, since you're the first couple, I haven't gotten a bouncer yet. I was thinking about using a few of the reviewers as bouncers, should they choose to apply.
Mai: You think I'm cheating on you?! I fucking LOVED you Jou.
Mai starts to cry.
Mai: Never mind! I could have any man I wanted in this audience and you know it! So who is this fucking hussy you are cheating on me with huh? That slut Anzu? I'm going to tear her hair out.
Pyro: Well, let's bring out this "fucking hussy" as Mai put it!
Mai: No FUCKING way! No FUCKING WAY!
Seto comes out dressed in tight black leather pants, a vest with a long whip, lead and collar.
Reviewers swoon.
Seto: Bad dog! Come to your master!
Seto cracks whip.
Reviewers cheer.
Jou runs over to Seto who attaches the collar to Jou
Mai: What the hell is this Jou? You leave me for someone who treats you like a dog.
Seto: Silence! Do NOT talk to my puppy like that.
Mai: He isn't a dog, he's my boyfriend!
Seto: Well your boyfriend is now my little bitch.
Reviewers clap and cheer
Mai: That's fucking it!
Mai flies at Seto and begins to punch him in the face
Pyro: Yeah, we really need a bouncer…
Reviewers: PYRO! PYRO! PYRO! PYRO!
Seto: Sick'im Dog!
Jou bitch-slaps Mai.
Reviewers: PYRO! PYRO! PYRO! PYRO!
Pyro: Please, the lot of you shut up and sit down.
Mai freezes in mid punch, Jou pulling is her hair and Seto holding onto Jou's lead.
Pyro: Good. Now Seto, how long have you and Jou been together?
Seto: He has been my little play thing for the last two months, haven't you boy?
Seto cracks his whip.
Mai: No way Jou! You are coming home with me and away from this freak!
Jou: Mai –
Seto cracks his whip.
Seto: You will not speak unless instructed to, dog!
Jou: Yelp!
Mai: You can't tell me you like this?
Seto: He does, I give him what you can't… slut.
Mai: FUCK YOU!
Mai leaps out of her seat and lunges for Seto's throat.
Pyro: Lovely… Now Mai… Mai… MAI!
Mai freeze and turns to Pyro, not letting go of Seto's throat.
Mai: Yesum?
Pyro: Apparently, we have someone out the back who thinks Seto is better for Jou than you.
Mai: WHO?!
Pyro: Bring out… Shizuka!!
Shizuka: LET GO OF SETO'S THROAT YOU SLUT! LET HIM GO!
crack-slap
Reviewers go wild as the two tumble around on the floor, clothes ripping and hair being pulled.
Pyro: I have a migraine. Why did I agree to do this again? Oh yeah, Seto in leather…
Mai: Bitch!
Shizuka: Cow!
Mai: Whore!
Shizuka: Ugly dog!
Mai: Preppy slut!
Shizuka: Fatty boom-sticks.
Mai: Oh! That crossed the line, that was really over the line!
slap!
Pyro: Oi, sit down shut up, I have a show to run.
Both girls sit down.
Pyro: So, Shizuka, what are your opinions on Seto and Jou?
Shizuka: Well, even though Seto calls him a dog, he really does care about him.
Reviewers: Awww…
Shizuka: Look, I know you, Mai! You're a dirty tramp, you flirt with any guy in sight. And besides, Jou loves Seto. And you can't break that up.
Mai snivels pathetically
Mai: But I l-l-love him!
Shizuka: So have kinky threesomes!
Seto: I don't share my puppy!
Seto pulls Jou onto his lap.
Pyro: Well I have to wrap this up. What are you doing Jou?
Jou: I'm goi-
Seto cracks his whip
Seto: He is coming home with me.
Seto kisses Jou
Mai jumps up and goes to bash Seto, but Shizuka grabs Mai by the hair.
Pyro: Fuck this, I've got homework to do. We'll be back. Oh…
Pyro looks over at the bloody walls and bleeding noses
Pyro: And I'm going to need a bouncer…
Pyro walks off screen while the four Yu-Gi-Oh! characters beat the crap out of one another.