AN: I've been thinking about a story like this for a couple of weeks now. It was inspired by a song by Linkin Park...I think it was "Breaking the Habit," I'm not sure. Please review so I know whether it's any good!! and I'm really sorry about my other story i got kind of sidetracked with this story. but to tell you the truth I don't really know where either is going. I'll try to update as soon as possible with his one and the other one too. Sorry bout all the sporadic stuff...hehe...I'm kinda like that. runs away as things are thrown at her face

Disclaimer" I don't own anything related to Harry Potter so please don't sure cuz all you'll get is...um...i don't know cuz my mom bought me all my stuff...hehe. Well I don't claim to won anything Harry Potter so yeah...you can't sure me now I know you are jealous of my lint!!

------TO THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surrounded by darkness the pale figure tossed and turned. He could never escape the nightmares even when he tried so hard not to fall asleep, but his body always won over his mind.

Flashback

"GET UP! How can you call yourself a Malfoy?" Lucius proceeded to kick his son a few times in the ribs, adding more bruises to the battered boy. "How could you let that mudblood beat you in your scores! You come from a long line of pureblooded wizards and you let that tainted idiot beat you!"

Draco groaned, and with a painful gasp whispered, "I'm sorry I-"

"NO EXCUSES! You are NOT my son and don't deserve to become a privileged follower of the Dark Lord." The older Malfoy reigned more blows on his son's beaten and bleeding frame. "Crucio!!" The Slytherin Ice Prince let terrible screams filled with excruciating pain rip from his throat until his screams did not make any noise other than a light hiss.

All Draco could feel was pain. He was not surprised when more hits began breaking his all ready shattered body.

"You have brought this upon yourself! Allowing that mudblood to beat you in school, allowing the Dark Lord's greatest enemy beat you in Quiditch! Let me teach you again what the price is, I'm going to have some fun with you, you idiotic, sorry excuse of a son!!"

Draco was filled with dread /No, No NO!! Don't!! Not again!!/ He internally screamed as his father tore off both of their clothes and entered him roughly. After a few minutes of incredible pain the small blonde fell into complete darkness, only to wake up on the floor covered in his own blood and his father's atrocious semen.

End Flashback

A scream of pain and terror escaped his mouth as he shot up from his bed. He looked around confused as to where he was. His room, at Hogwarts. Safe for now, which certainly won't be for long. His father's beatings fresh in his mind. The petite Slytherin curled up into a ball, as if trying to disappear, as silent sobs racked his slightly built, but bruised frame. He was glad that the Slytherin's bratty attitudes got the most popular of them their own rooms.

He never wanted to join Voldemort, at least, not until he met him and his father began abusing him. At first, when he was younger, he dreamed of joining the Dark Lord just so his father would for once, be proud of him. Then he grew older, and learned of who Voldemort really was, of who his father really was.

He had told his father that once, that he didn't think Voldemort was so great. That's when his father first touched him, he was 10 at the time. And since then his father increased the amount of pain he inflicted upon his "son." Over the summer was when things hit an all time high...he began to rape him.

Draco wanted so badly to escape his father, but he couldn't. There was nowhere for him to go. Plus, he had a feeling his dear old dad wouldn't let him. When he met him that fateful day at the shop, he gained hope that he would actually get away from Lucius. Then the weasel came along and Harry didn't accept his offer of friendship.

Which was right around the time he began cutting himself. Nothing serious at first, just a light cut on his thigh, no scar or real blood. But after a few years he cut deeper and moved to his wrist. No one knew about it though. No one really cared or bothered to try and make sure he was ok.

Contrary to common belief, he was not friends with Blaise, or Crabbe, or Goyle, or Parkinson. He just let them hang around. Crabbe and Goyle were just too stupid to be anything other than a couple of goons. Parkinson was too into his looks to give a care about how he felt.... Plus she was really, really weird when you got to know her better. And Blaise, Blaise is as weird as they get and perverted. But he was good at fighting so he figured he might as well keep him around he may be of good use at some point.

So basically he was alone. Ever since he was a child. He was always jealous when he saw Potter with the Granger and the Weasel. Why had he turned him down all those years ago and gone to the poor, pathetic weasel?

But to tell you the truth, Draco didn't hate Harry. And he wasn't really angry with him for turning down his friendship. He had been acting like a stuck-up rich prat. The Ice Prince was only hurtful and nasty to him because if he didn't, his father would find out and he would have three times the amount of pain when he went home. He was always beaten more when Harry beat him to the snitch or Granger got a higher score on something. He had nothing against Granger actually, but she was part of the Golden Trio and a mudblood so he was expected, by his father, to hurt her along with Potter and their idiotic red-haired friend, who he did have something against, he took Harry away from him, took away some of the little hope he had left.

And if this wasn't enough of an admission for here's another...Draco Malfoy the Slytherin Ice Prince...is gay. And more shocking (AN: Not to me!! ) is that he actually had fallen for the Gryffindork, Golden Boy himself.

He doubted Harry Potter would have anything other than hate for the supposed Death Eater-in-training. Which is another reason he cut himself...Harry could never care about him. But he didn't blame him for anything.

Now, in his 6th year at Hogwarts, being the most hated Slytherin in the school, Draco Malfoy was balling his eyes out because of all the memories that constantly haunted him and his love for someone who could never love him back. His father had told him the date he was set to get the Dark Mark. The petite blond supposed the safest(considering his family) thing to do was join Voldemort. He figured it would be the best, he could even live up to everyone's expectations of him. But he didn't feel like he could. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he just give up fighting and give into his father's wishes? Should he tell Harry his undying love for him, get rejected by him and beaten to death by him and Lucius? Both seemed very fun.

Draco slowly stopped his sobbing and rolled his sleeve up. He took off the masking curse he had put on his arm revealing and intricate design of cuts, some thin, white and old, and some fresh, and red. He grabbed the special dagger he had bought himself once. It had an emerald-eyed snake wrapped around the handle. Slowly and carefully, he drew it across his arm, making by far the deepest and longest cut on his skin. He watched mesmerized as the blood flowed down his arm and ignored the pain he caused. It was definitely not worse than pain he had felt before.

After watching the red liquid roll down his arm, he quickly healed it as best he could. He had found his decision on what to do, but he couldn't end it yet. There was one thing he had to do.

The slightly muscled, but thin figure of the young Malfoy walked over to his desk. He took out some parchment and a quill.

Dear Harry,

I'm sure you're surprised that I'm writing to you. But that is a reason I did. I'm sorry Harry. Yes, Draco Malfoy the Slytherin Ice Prince who has ridiculed you and your err...friends for the past 6 years has apologized to you, Harry Potter the Golden Boy. Get over it. I'm sorry for that too, it's hard to stop something you've been forced to do for so long. I'm relieved. You probably won't believe me, probably believe I'm trying to trick you. But please try Harry, please. I don't hate, I never have, and never will. It was because of my father... he... well let's just say he won't ever be nominated by me for the best father of the year award. And I shouldn't use my father as an excuse for all I have ever said and done to you. I am truly sorry for that. The real reason for this letter is that I need to tell you that...that...I love you Harry. I know you won't believe that one, but it's true. And I can't live with what I've done to you, with what I can't have with you, with what my father has done. So I guess this letter, in addition to being a declaration of love, is to say goodbye. I just can't with everything anymore. I'm sorry. I'll most likely be gone by the time your finish this. Everything just hurts so much, I can't take. I'm sorry Harry, and please don't hate me. I know you probably do, especially of my confession of being in love with you. But really I am, and I can't live with knowing you don't love me back. So I'm ending it tonight. Goodbye Harry.

With love and regret,

Draco

The Slytherin took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was actually going to send it, and send it he did. Then he went back to his dagger and carefully picked it up. He admired it for some time. Then the abused blonde put the ice cold metal against his pale arm, shivering, and slid it across. This time digging it even deeper into his skin across the cut he had mad only minutes before and watched the liquid licorice, his liquid licorice flow from the slit skin. As the distressed, beautiful sliver-eyed blonde saw the fuzzy-ness seep into the edge of his vision an emerald-eyed Gryffindor heard a clacking at the window and was given a letter from, to his great surprise, his enemy.

--------How was it??? Should I continue??? Please, please, PLEASE review!!! it would mean a whole lot to me to know what you think about my story!!!!!! puppy dog eyes justified flames are accepted of course! and reading this fic over....they're justified....o.O