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Chapter 2

Mulletectomy

Three weeks later…

In Moaning Mertel's bathroom, all the Gryfindor girls were saying how much they hated Suzie, while smoking pot.

"Oh mah God!" Said Ginny, "That Suzie chica is such a biatcha loca."

"I hate her stupid mullet. Stupid magic mullet," another girl said.

"Just because she has a mullet, the guys think she is so beautiful" said Hermione.

"I know!" said Ginny "its not our fault that we weren't blessed with mullets!"

 "Hey! Let's all sneak into her room at night and cut it off!" Hermione (Being the brains of the group) Suggested. All of the Grifinders agreed and they laughed diabolically for at least a good half hour. Then Hermione thought of the most ingenious plan ever!

"We should wait till she's sleeping and then cut it off" said hermione in an arrogant tone. So the girls had the most sneakest evilest and dumbest plan ever..........

Harry, ron, and hermion we're all sitting in the big hall thingy when all of a sudden an owl brought a broom down.

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S A WONDER MOP 2002!" shouted Ron.

"It looks kinda...not good...to me ron..."said harry.

"Actually, it's the best broom out of America right now Harry!" said ron.

Draco looked at them with envy as he only had a nimbus 2001. "Damn that HArry Potter!" Said Draco. And for lack of a better insult, he shut up (for once.) So then he decided to come up with a plan to steal Harry's mop. But then he realized it was a stupid plan, so he gave up.

So Draco asked professor Snape for some help and Snape said "of course Draco, I secretly love you"

Meanwhile, back with harry, everywhere he went, he took his wonder mop. The people all around went "ooooooooh" and "aahhhhhhhhhh" everytime they saw the Mop.

When Suzie Underpants came up to Harry and said "oh my god that wonder mop is so flufftabulous! Can i touch it?" she asked in awe, "............come on i let you touch my mullet!!!!!!!!"

"So" said Harry, "You like my mop huh?" Harry, still being very young reaally needed to work on his pickup lines.

After Suzie gave Harry a weird look, Harry thought of another pickup line, "Uhhh…are you jamiacan?.............cause your jamaican me crazy!'

Then suzie said "actually im 1/4 jamiacan"

So Harry said "do you.......maybe.........i dunno.......might wanna........go with me to eat food???'

Suzie said "are you asking me out? Because then you really suck at that."

Then Ron Laughed at Harry for his inability for asking out girls.

Harry ignored Ron and said "yea I'm asking you out but i know that you wouldn't wanna go out with a loser like me. I'm not good enough for the mullet" He said sadly.

Suzie then says "well since your ugly like Ron, I mean since you're not ugly like Ron, I'll go out with you"

This made Ron Cry, and glare at his best friend, or perhaps EX best friend.

It was night and not a creature was sturing in the gryfindor hall.....not even a mouse.

(mission impossible music begins to play)

The Griffendor girls (Who shall now be referred to as the G-Girls) tip toe towards Suzie's room. All of a sudden Hermione falls and the rest of girls fall down too..........you know that darn domino effect.

        As the girls open the door, a big bucket of ice cream dropped on them. However, not to be daunted by mere cold and sticky ice cream, the girls continued. Suzie was sleeping peacefully in her bed. But unknown to the G-Girls, that was a blow up doll decoy, and the real Suzie was hiding in the shadows above her bed. She was on the ceiling since her mullet gave her spider powers.

When the girls went to cut off the blow up Suzie's mullet, she pounced on them with a great ferocity.

Hermione awoke in complete darkness. "Hello Granger," said a voice Hermione identified as her twin sisters'.

"Underpants." Hermione said coldly. She tried to move her wrists, but they were bound.

"So my dear long lost twin, you wish to cut off my mullet huh? Well how about we turn the tables?" Suddenly there was blaring music. Suzie was playing music by Britney Spears, N'SYNC, Spice Girls, New Kids on the Block and that sort- which are all horrible on their own- but Suzie was playing them all at once. Hermione gritted her teeth and tried to not scream. The shouts of pain from the others let Hermione know that the other G-Girls were in the room with her. Meanwhile, Suzie was busy shaving each of the G-Girls' heads, one by one.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Stop the TORTURE!!!!" The girls screamed, but Suzie only continued to crackle.

When she was done, all the girls ran from the room as fast of they could, each with a head that could've been used as a mirror.

Suzie laughed as they ran, "That'll teach you not to mess with my Mullet!"