Hi all! Get ready for another FLUFFTABULOUS chapter!      

Harry was in his room trying on every piece of clothing he owned, which wasn't very much- only two outfits.

            "I think you should wear the polka dots, with the plaid socks," said Hermione. She was trying to help him get ready for his date, so Suzie would love Harry and not Ron.

            "Should I keep the striped shorts?"

            "Definitely."

            Unfortunately, Hermione had no fashion sense.

            Satisfied with his looks, Harry went across the hall to pick up Suzie Underpants.

            He knocked on the door. "KNOCK KNOCK!" Suzie opened it and began to sing, "Come and knock on my door! I've been waiting for….YOU!"

            "Uhhh Hi," Said Harry. Then thinking for a second, he said, "Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day!"

            "Actually, yeah, I am pretty tired," said Suzie. "So where are we going for our first date?"

            "We are going to go to the most romantic place I can think of…HARGID'S HUT!"

            "That really big fat guy??" Suzie asked.

            Harry then leaned very close to Suzie's ear, and shouted, "YEP! THAT'S HIM!" Then in a normal voice he said, "Lets go to the Hut!"

            "Pizza Hut?"

            "NO! HAGRID'S HUT!" Screamed Harry.

            "But I want a personal pan pizza, damnit!" complained the mulleted girl.

            "But I'm broke!" Harry wined, "I spent all my money on leg warmers!"

            "Well…okay. But it had better be good, or I won't date you anymore. Even though you're ugly like Ron, I mean you're not ugly like Ron."

            So the couple went to Hagrid's Hut, NOT PIZZA HUT!

            When Suzie and Harry arrived at Hagrid's, Ron was already there and hiding behind a bush. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Suzie Underpants will SOON BE MINE!!!! And Harry shall be DELETED from this World!" said a very vicious and diabolical (which means 'evil' Stupid People!) Ron.

            A few feet behind Ron was Hermione, who was also plotting diabolically. She was thinking of ways to make Ron hers, when she suddenly caught sight of Ron's bootylicious ass, and all of her intellect left her and puddled underneath her feet. She sighed and propped herself up against the tree for support.

            And a few more feet, behind another tree was Draco. He was also plotting how to diabolically get the wonder mop from Harry. (AN: Yeah you thought we forgot all about the wonder mop, didn't you? Well actually we did. But its back now so YAY!)

            Back a few more feet, behind another tree was Snape, who was diabolically plotting how to get Draco…Ewww…

            So lots of people are plotting diabolically okay???

            The End!

            Haha, no, I kid.

            Hagrid opened the door for Harry and Suzie and said, "What up Homies? Word to your great grandmama!"

            Harry just stared blankly at Hagrid, before mustering up the strength to say, "Hagrid?? Is that you??"

            "YEEEUUP! Its me alright! I wanted to become a more hipper and Flufftabulous Hagrid!" So skeptically Harry and Suzie entered the hut, only to find out it had been transformed into a disco dance hall! Hagrid gave them a table and served them month old cheetos.

            The young couple sat there in an awkward silence.       

            Harry cleared his voice, "Whaaaa….nevermind."

            Suzie was very bored, but she tried to think up a topic, "Soooo, how 'bout those Yankees?"

            Harry didn't know how to answer, so he randomly blurted out, "Did it hurt?" Suzie was confused and caught off guard by Harry's remark, so he finished it, "Dddddd-did it…uhh…it hurt whe-when you fe-fell fr-rom heaven?"

            Suzie had become very annoyed by Harry's constant pick up lines by now, so she said, "I don't know. Did it hurt when you were beaten with an Ugly Stick??"

            Harry cried and said, "But I thought you said I wasn't ugly like Ron!"

            "Well Ron is pretty ugly, so that gives you some room.

"I'm sorry I'm so ugly and such a boring date!!!!!!!!!! All I want is for you to love me, is that too much to ask?????" screamed Harry.

"YES YOU BIG DULL DUD!" screamed Suzie.

So Harry cried like a little school girl and screamed "ACK!!!" He ran out of the hut, and a few moments later he came back and calmly sat down in his chair. "Hi. Can we start over"

"Go away!" Screamed Suzie, "I would rather date ugly Ron than you!"

Ron, who had been eaves dropping, went to make his move, so he turned on the "Love Machine"

However Harry stood in front of him, blocking him from his goal. They both let out savage war cries and fought Matrix style. Harry shot lightning bolts from his wand and Ron dodged them all.

While Ron and Harry were fighting like barbarians, Suzie sneakily left the hut and then proceeded to Draco's tree. And then she said to him, "Hey you wanna make out?"

"Ok!" Said Draco. So they do.

Snape became insanely jealous, and he ran away crying like a newborn babe.

Meanwhile, Ron and Harry were fighting each other. No one was really winning, but then they notice that THEIR CHICK! was making out with the enemy!"

So harry and ron ran after Draco. They noticed out of the corner of their eye, Hermione, staring off into space against a tree, however they didn't care and they ran right by her.

Harry screamed "MALFOY GET OFF LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then Ron screamed "HEY SHE'S MY LADY!!!!!!" and then Draco screamed "NO SHE'S MY LADY!!!!!!!!!' and then Suzie said "IM NOT REALLY A LADY!!!"

This caused everyone to pause for a second, and stare at Suzie. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm not really Suzie Underpants, I'm Donny Osmond!" The boys all stared as he/she burst into song, "I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock n roll! And thanks to waste management I like to eat ice cream!"

When the boys realize that they were attracted to Donny Osmond, they go somewhere to hurl. Hermione, meanwhile, had finally woke up from her booylicious-ass-trance. She saw Ron, Harry, and Draco all crying.

When she asked them why they were crying, they reply "SUZIE'S A MAN BABY!!"

Hermione then cackled (it means 'laugh' stupid people) diabolically. She saw this as an opportunity to hit on Ron and told him, "You know Ron, if you're really hurt, you can always cry on my shoulder. Just make sure there's no snot."

Then Ron said "Eww no! You have cooties and I haven't gotten my cootie shot yet!"

He looked around for another shoulder to cry on, but since there was none, he tried to cry on his own. But that didn't work out very well.

        Later that day, after Dumbledore found out about Suzie's secret identity, he asked Donny for some tickets to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, and then expelled her.....him from Hogwarts."

The End

Fo Real this time

            Kudos if you count how many times we used the word "Diabolical"