Hey ppl remember us??? Probably not…because NOBODY reviewed our
fanfic!!!! Once again we have another flufftabulous delight for you this evening…..and in case
you have no clue what happened in the other fanfics…well
get off your lazy ass and read them. Ok so we'll give you a little
synopsis….Previously on Hogwarts 90210…..Suzie Underpants was really Donny
Osmond and Harry, Ron, and Draco are all
heartbroken…tear…..oh yea and Hermione is still in love with Ron….NOW ON WITH
THE SOMETHING…oh yeaaa… we don't own Harry
Potter…otherwise would we be writing fanfics?…no we
would swimming in our wealth.
It was a blue gloomy day in Hogwarts for Harry, Ron and Draco….and
Hermione…and Snape too….and also Dumbledore…oh hell screw it….everybody was depressed.
Hermione still didnt have her Ronny poo, Dumbledore didnt get to see Joesph and the Technicolor dreamcoat!...and
Snape has a bad rash
All of sudden over the loud speakers…..(yes Hogwarts has an intercom system
but yet they still write with quills…don't even get me started on
that)….Professor Mcgoogle screamed to the students
"ATTENTION WIZARDS DUE TO MY MINOR DEAFNESS I AM PROBABLY SCREAMING…SO SORRY
BUT DEAL WITH IT…ANYWAYS THERE WILL BE A NEW STUDENT ASSEMBLY DUE TO THE
EXEMPTION OF SUZIE UNDERPANTS…ERRR I MEAN MR. OSMOND…THIS AFTERNOON SO MAKE IT
A GREAT DAY OR NOT….THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!...WAIT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE…SCRATCH
THAT NEVERMIND WHAT I JUST SAID.
"oh great more wizards!"….grumbled Harry…or was
that his stomach grumbling?
"I know….I hope they are all boys so I can't fall in love again" moaned
Ron…or could he fall in love with a boy???
"And I hope they are boys too so I can make Ron insanely jealous" thought
the conniving scheming Hermione…..MUWAHAHAHAHA
Everyone in Hogwarts gathered to the place where they would hold
assembly's…wherever that might be and Dumbledore began to speak……
"Attention wizards…there are some new students that I must cakdkakka"….Dumbledore began to choke and well he died….so
the 2nd string Dumbledore took his place….there alright all better…. "As I was
saying…well the other guy was saying it but I'm still the same character…this
is really confusing anyway……as SOMEONE was saying…there are some new students I
would like to introduce you to…please give a warm welcome toooooooooooooooooo
Anita Bath and Holden Mcgroin ….COME ON
DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
One person clapped and it was Colin Creevey
(otherwise known as the paparazzi of Hogwarts…..he's releasing "Hogwarts
Uncensored 14" in July)…and that's only because he has no friends
So both of the new wizards had to place the sorting hat upon their heads……
Anita Bath was first…..the sorting hat said "well since you smell
horrific….SLYTHERIN!....nobody in the Slytherin house
clapped except Draco Malfoy….looks
like somebody has a crush…hmmmmm??...and because Draco has no friends…hey maybe him
and Colin should hook up!
Next was Holden McGroin….the crowd grew
silent…like at a golf match….the sorting hat contemplated… "hmmm
where should Holden McGroin go???...well with that
kind of name…he should definitely be friends with Ron Weasely…GRYFFINDOR!"
Ron asked Harry and Hermione "well what do you think of the new kid on the
block?"
"The boy band or Holden McGroin….cause well they
both kind of suck" said Harry
"What are you talking about Harry….I think Holden is DREAMY" shouted
Hermione into Ron's ear even though she thinks Holden is ugly…she wants to make
Ron jealous
It was somewhere in the Gryffindor house……Holden was frantically looking
for his room…. "lets see Im supposed to room with Ron
Weasely and Harry Potter…"
Just then Colin came out from behind the potted plant and said "POTTER! I
KNOW WHERE HE IS…WE'RE BESTEST BUDDIES CUBED…RIGHT THIS WAY"
Finally Holden reached the door of Ron and Harry's room and knocked on
it…..
Harry and Ron opened the door and they both gave each other an "oh shit" look
"HI IM HOLDEN MCGROIN!"….said Holden McGroin…obviously
"You know..you really
shouldn't do that" said Ron
Holden was puzzled…. "ohhhh
noo Holden McGroin is
actually my name…….and I'm your new roommate…can I have a hug???"
Suddenly….Ron's brain fell out…..nobody knows why these things happen….bad
things just happen to good people…or they happen to Ron…..anyway his brain was
reattached within seconds because we don't have time for a dramatic trauma
scene….movin on
COMMERCIAL
And now back to the show………..a do do do a da da
da…yes that is a random Sting song….anyways
Let's cut to Anita Bath's story shall we????
Draco and Anita were both in the Slytherin common room….so Draco
decided to show off his moves…yes I know he doesn't have any moves but he
thinks he does……..other Slytherins laugh at him, even
his two zombie friends, which is pretty bad considering they don't have souls
"Hey Anita…. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your
Bedrock!"….said Draco
Anita looked straight into his eyes and said "That was
extraordinary…..unfortunately it was extraordinarily bad"….Anita has been
watching too much American Idol lately
Draco then weeped
like a little baby and ran to his room like a 2 year old….cause we all know that
Draco is really a pansy underneath all that hair gel
in his hair
Ok nobody really cares about Slytherin do
they????....right so back to Gryffindor
Meanwhile, Hermione was doing everything in her power to make Ron fall for
her…she even tried dressing up as Cupid and shooting an arrow into his ass but
that only caused pain for Ron and now he has to sit on those doughnut things
So now she had to think of yet ANOTHER plan to make Ron fall in love and
the only thing she could come up with would be to go the most untrusted person at Hogwarts….Professor Snape
(he recovered from his rash)…..but how could she do that without anyone
knowing???.....it was time to call on the G Girls again!.........That's
right time to start blasting the mission impossible music again!
In the middle of the night….The G Girls…dressed in all black of
course…decided to sneak through the air ducts to Professor Snape's
Office….and yes Hogwarts has air ducts….it was all part of a plan to revamp
Hogwarts…they're also installing an exercise room later in the fall (requested
by Professor Simmons)……… every year they have to change something to make it
supposedly better, because Dumbledore was just like that....well the first one
anyways.
The G Girls saw a sound asleep Professor Snape
and boy did he snore…he sounded like a chainsaw….so Hermione tapped on his
shoulder…..exsqueese me..
Professor Snape are you
sleeping?? (supposedly Hermione is the brains of the
group…but they're all dumb)
Snape must have been dreaming cause he was talking in his sleep "ohhhhh
Dumbledore…I LOVE YOUUUU"…….ok that is now two guys Snape
has liked…Draco and Dumbledore…it is now officially
confirmed that Snape is gay
Snape awoke and saw Hermione….
"Granger……is……that……you??" (you know the rule that Snape can only speak if he says words 5 minutes apart?)
"yes its me Hermione…I was wondering if you could mix up a love potion for
me purrrrrty purrrrty
please with a cherry on top"…..Hermione was now lowered to begging
"WHY WOULD I MAKE A POTION FOR YOU!!!!" screamed Snape….he
was grouchy from being woken up….
"Because I know that you are in love with Professor Dumbledore and will
announce it over the PA system tomorrow morning" said Hermione
"well in that case…alrighty then!"…said Snape
Hermione's plot has worked…thanks to her ingenious plan of blackmail….now
her and the G Girls cackled diabolically for a good 3 hours…then they went to
bed….cackling makes you tired…..and for next time…..
WILL THE LOVE POTION WORK????....DUN DUN DUN…….WILL HARRY POTTER EVER HAVE ANY DIALOGUE???.....DUN DUN DUN………WILL SNAPE'S LOVE FOR
DUMBLEDORE BE DISCOVERED….DUN DUN DUN…….AND
WILL DRACO EVER GET SOME?....DUN DUN DUN……AND A COUPLE MORE DUN DUN
DUN'S
Alright you all come back na you hear!.....AND
YOU BETTER REVIEW CAUSE I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND I'VE SEEN WHERE YOU SLEEP!
To be continued…..
