Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or "I Feel Pretty". Thank you.
Author's Note: This is by T'Karish.
[Janet, Sam, and Cassandra are sitting around the infirmary; Janet is braiding Cassandra's hair, and Sam is combing Janet's]
[Janet idly sings to herself]I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
[Cassandra sings softly after Janet stops]I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
[Sam stifles a laugh as Janet and Cassandra suddenly stand up and point to their reflections in random objects]See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
[Janet grabs Sam and twirls her around, singing]I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
[Sam and Cassandra exchange glances, then sing to each other]
Have you met my good friend Janet,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.
[Sam and Cassandra grab each other's hands and start dancing in circles]She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
[Sam and Cassandra laugh and exchange verses]
Sam:It must be the heat
Cassandra:Or some rare disease,
Sam:Or too much to eat
Cassandra:Or maybe it's fleas!
[Sam and Cass sing in harmony with each other]Keep away from her,
Send for Siler!
This is not the
Janet we know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
[Janet laughs and continues]
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
[Sam and Cass look at each other, and burst into giggles while gasping out]
La-la-la-la-la la-la la la-la...
[Janet rolls her eyes at the two and continues]
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
[this time Cass is laughing so hard that only Sam is able to sing] La-la-la-la-la la-la la la-la...
[Janet points to the wall]See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
[Sam and Cass ask at the same time]
What mirror where?
[Janet asks as if Sam and Cassandra hadn't said anything]
Who can that attractive girl be?
[Sam and Cass ask with bemused expressions]
Which? What? Where? Whom?
[Janet continues]
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
[Cass and Sam echo]
Such a pretty me!
[Sam, Janet, and Cass finish off together]
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
[they trail off as they see Daniel and Jack standing at the door, looking at them, clearly amused]
[Janet closes the door on them, and then sits down and starts braiding Cassandra's hair while Sam combs Janet's]