Disclaimer: Don't own CSI!
Spoilers: none
A/N: Hope you'll like it!
Summary: She leaves to find a new life... and hopes to find love, peace and
happiness along the way.
Title: A brand new start
Chapter 1: I guess this is good-bye
It was a really, really slow night. The kind that makes you wonder if there's a conference being held some where out in the dessert for all the criminals and to those who are attempting to do one – the only reason you could come up to besides that maybe there's a party in heaven that's why the angel of death is too busy to bother to take a visit in Las Vegas.
Shift is almost over; Nick, Sara, Warrick, Greg and Catherine were all seated at the break room laughing their heart out with the crazy stories they've been talking about for hours now.
"Oh God...I'm definitely gonna miss this" said Catherine catching her breath from laughing. And all of a sudden the room turned quiet. The smiles faded away. Catherine regretted saying it the minute she had, she didn't mean to say her thoughts out loud. "Oh god... I'm a sorry guys, I didn't mean to say it out loud. Hey come on, please don't cry."
"But Catherine why do you have to leave?" asked Nick.
Catherine didn't know how to answer that. All she knows is that she has to leave, she needs to have a life, she wants to be happy, and how could she be happy if she goes away from Gil? But then again, Gil Grissom the source of her joy is also the source of her pain. A few months ago she and Gil went to her apartment, Gil just drank orange juice while she got drunk, enough for her to gather enough courage and be able to declare to him her love but not enough for her to forget about it.
Since that night Grissom has been distant to her, they rarely make eye contact and to the rare occasions that they did, she feel as if her heart is being shattered into pieces. She can't concentrate on work, she can't sleep coz she fears to dream about him and wake up. She can't even close her eyes coz she sees him. She haven't felt any peace nor happiness, every time she smiles, it's just a smile... when she laughs with her team and her daughter that's it coz deep inside she's hurting whether she admit it or not even if she tries to ignore it, coz when she's all alone, all she feels are the things she just want to forget.
Catherine just lowered her gaze to the floor. She couldn't bare looking at her team. After a long period of silence Catherine raise her gaze and spoke, "I just have to get myself back"
"Where are you going?" Warrick managed to ask as he tried to cough to hide the sobs.
"I'm not telling"
"Well will you at least tell us when you are going to leave? So maybe we could have lunch or dinner or breakfast... before you go. And of course so we could say good bye"
"Sara, that's the exact reason why I'm not telling you... I hate good bye's"
"That's not fair!" said Sara in a childish tone as she crossed her arms to her chest.
Though she and Catherine weren't exactly the best of friends and there have been a lot of times in which they piss each other off but she has always looked at her like 'their' mom. She knows that if Catherine leaves nothing in the lab will ever be the same. Sara wasn't even aware of it but tears were starting to form in her eyes. Nick has been trying to control him self from crying and has managed to stop him self from sobbing but the tears kept falling. Greg on the other hand didn't bother to stop him self. Yes it is embarrassing to let others see you cry but that's the least of his concerns right now... Catherine has always been the maternal figure even though she flirts a lot, she loves the team very much even Greg.... and they love her too.
"But how will we know when to prepare for you leaving?"
"Well you all look prepared already" Catherine replied as she tried to lighten up the mood and brush the tears from Greg's eyes who is sitting right beside her.
"That's not funny Cath" said Nick
"I won't tell any of you the date the time or where I'm going. One of this days when you guys arrive for shift and I'm late... it means I'm not coming"
"Well what if you just got stuck with traffic or something!"
"Greg! I've been coming in an hour early coz I'm finishing my work. So if I'm a minute late you all know what that means. Now don't you guys worry coz as soon as I get settled I'm going to call and inform you guys"
"And Grissom? Have you told him yet?" asked Warrick
"I already gave my resignation to the sheriff... Grissom will be receiving his letter the next night after my absence."
There was another silence in the room. "Hey come on guys, let's have break fast! My treat!" she said as she stood up and smiled. Sara and Greg stood up to hug her, so did Warrick and Nick.
The next shift.... every body arrived 2 hours earlier.
Nick is pacing back and forth in the break room. "Jesus Nick! You're giving me a headache!" Sara complained.
"Why isn't she here yet?"
"Well the shift doesn't start in, let me see..." Sara glanced at her watch, "An hour. Oh God! She's suppose to be here by now!" Sara stood up and paced the room just like Nick.
"Could you guys PLEASE take a sit!" said Warrick.
Thirty minutes later, Grissom entered the break room to find three CSI's pacing back and forth who seemed oblivious to his presence. "Are you guys okay?" he asked to stop the three from pacing. The three were still deep in thought they looked worried and sad at the same time, "Warrick! Nick! Sara!" he called and finally succeeded to get their attention. "What's happening with the three of you?"
"Uhh.. Nothing. Just. Have a lot in mind."
"What ever you say Nick!" he said as he left the break room.
"Okay, it's time" Grissom called as he went in 30 minutes later. Sara sank in her sit with her head bowing and gaze in the floor. Nick turned his back facing the coffee maker his hands are on the table using it as support. Warrick leaned on the wall as he closed his eyes. Grissom took a minute to look at every one's expression. Greg barged in the break room.
"Where is she?" he asked catching his breath. As his eyes searched the break room and find her not there, he looked at the clock; she's already 10 minutes late. He looked at Warrick. Warrick nodded to confirm Greg's questioning eyes. Warrick slowly bends his knees and sank to sit to where he is standing. Greg slammed his hand to the door; he hid his face in his arms that is now against the door.
"What's happening? And where's Catherine?" Grissom asked confused.
.........The next night.....
Grissom entered the break room where every one is; he stood there and got every body's attention.
"Is this why you were all sad last night?" Grissom asked raising a white paper in front of them. Nick nodded.
"You all knew that she was leaving last night?"
"All we knew is that she's leaving... she never told any of us when or where she's going" Sara explained in a lonely voice
"I see" he said his expression still as calm as possible. He is hurting so much inside but he is hiding it. It is so hard to hide the emotions he is feeling right now. Catherine left she left just like that... and every one knew... except him.
"I see? That's all you can say!" Warrick raged.
"Well what else could I say?"
"Oh yeah that's right... sorry I forgot that you couldn't really say anything!" Warrick shot back.
"Well what do you guys want me to say?"
"I don't know maybe something more HUMAN" said Nick.
"Guys! Do you think she'll appreciate this if she's here?"
"Well that's it Greg, she isn't." with that Sara stood up and out the door with Warrick and Nick. Greg stood up when the three has left, he was about to leave the break room, then he turned around to face Grissom and said, "I'm sorry about that, they have been holding back their tears theirs no other way for them to express it."
Grissom was left alone, he opened the letter and read it probably for the hundredth time. He still couldn't believe it... he is hoping to see a 'PS: I'll be back in a week' but every time he reads it, it never does instead it says:
Dear Grissom,
Sorry if this has to end like this, by the time you get my letter I'm already gone. I have given my letter of resignation to the sheriff days ago, and he has accepted it. Anyways, I just wrote this so that we'll have closure, I just want to say good-bye. I left to have a fresh new start, a new life a new job and hopefully I'll find peace and happiness along the way. And well, I guess this is good-bye Grissom.
Catherine
Title: A brand new start
Chapter 1: I guess this is good-bye
It was a really, really slow night. The kind that makes you wonder if there's a conference being held some where out in the dessert for all the criminals and to those who are attempting to do one – the only reason you could come up to besides that maybe there's a party in heaven that's why the angel of death is too busy to bother to take a visit in Las Vegas.
Shift is almost over; Nick, Sara, Warrick, Greg and Catherine were all seated at the break room laughing their heart out with the crazy stories they've been talking about for hours now.
"Oh God...I'm definitely gonna miss this" said Catherine catching her breath from laughing. And all of a sudden the room turned quiet. The smiles faded away. Catherine regretted saying it the minute she had, she didn't mean to say her thoughts out loud. "Oh god... I'm a sorry guys, I didn't mean to say it out loud. Hey come on, please don't cry."
"But Catherine why do you have to leave?" asked Nick.
Catherine didn't know how to answer that. All she knows is that she has to leave, she needs to have a life, she wants to be happy, and how could she be happy if she goes away from Gil? But then again, Gil Grissom the source of her joy is also the source of her pain. A few months ago she and Gil went to her apartment, Gil just drank orange juice while she got drunk, enough for her to gather enough courage and be able to declare to him her love but not enough for her to forget about it.
Since that night Grissom has been distant to her, they rarely make eye contact and to the rare occasions that they did, she feel as if her heart is being shattered into pieces. She can't concentrate on work, she can't sleep coz she fears to dream about him and wake up. She can't even close her eyes coz she sees him. She haven't felt any peace nor happiness, every time she smiles, it's just a smile... when she laughs with her team and her daughter that's it coz deep inside she's hurting whether she admit it or not even if she tries to ignore it, coz when she's all alone, all she feels are the things she just want to forget.
Catherine just lowered her gaze to the floor. She couldn't bare looking at her team. After a long period of silence Catherine raise her gaze and spoke, "I just have to get myself back"
"Where are you going?" Warrick managed to ask as he tried to cough to hide the sobs.
"I'm not telling"
"Well will you at least tell us when you are going to leave? So maybe we could have lunch or dinner or breakfast... before you go. And of course so we could say good bye"
"Sara, that's the exact reason why I'm not telling you... I hate good bye's"
"That's not fair!" said Sara in a childish tone as she crossed her arms to her chest.
Though she and Catherine weren't exactly the best of friends and there have been a lot of times in which they piss each other off but she has always looked at her like 'their' mom. She knows that if Catherine leaves nothing in the lab will ever be the same. Sara wasn't even aware of it but tears were starting to form in her eyes. Nick has been trying to control him self from crying and has managed to stop him self from sobbing but the tears kept falling. Greg on the other hand didn't bother to stop him self. Yes it is embarrassing to let others see you cry but that's the least of his concerns right now... Catherine has always been the maternal figure even though she flirts a lot, she loves the team very much even Greg.... and they love her too.
"But how will we know when to prepare for you leaving?"
"Well you all look prepared already" Catherine replied as she tried to lighten up the mood and brush the tears from Greg's eyes who is sitting right beside her.
"That's not funny Cath" said Nick
"I won't tell any of you the date the time or where I'm going. One of this days when you guys arrive for shift and I'm late... it means I'm not coming"
"Well what if you just got stuck with traffic or something!"
"Greg! I've been coming in an hour early coz I'm finishing my work. So if I'm a minute late you all know what that means. Now don't you guys worry coz as soon as I get settled I'm going to call and inform you guys"
"And Grissom? Have you told him yet?" asked Warrick
"I already gave my resignation to the sheriff... Grissom will be receiving his letter the next night after my absence."
There was another silence in the room. "Hey come on guys, let's have break fast! My treat!" she said as she stood up and smiled. Sara and Greg stood up to hug her, so did Warrick and Nick.
The next shift.... every body arrived 2 hours earlier.
Nick is pacing back and forth in the break room. "Jesus Nick! You're giving me a headache!" Sara complained.
"Why isn't she here yet?"
"Well the shift doesn't start in, let me see..." Sara glanced at her watch, "An hour. Oh God! She's suppose to be here by now!" Sara stood up and paced the room just like Nick.
"Could you guys PLEASE take a sit!" said Warrick.
Thirty minutes later, Grissom entered the break room to find three CSI's pacing back and forth who seemed oblivious to his presence. "Are you guys okay?" he asked to stop the three from pacing. The three were still deep in thought they looked worried and sad at the same time, "Warrick! Nick! Sara!" he called and finally succeeded to get their attention. "What's happening with the three of you?"
"Uhh.. Nothing. Just. Have a lot in mind."
"What ever you say Nick!" he said as he left the break room.
"Okay, it's time" Grissom called as he went in 30 minutes later. Sara sank in her sit with her head bowing and gaze in the floor. Nick turned his back facing the coffee maker his hands are on the table using it as support. Warrick leaned on the wall as he closed his eyes. Grissom took a minute to look at every one's expression. Greg barged in the break room.
"Where is she?" he asked catching his breath. As his eyes searched the break room and find her not there, he looked at the clock; she's already 10 minutes late. He looked at Warrick. Warrick nodded to confirm Greg's questioning eyes. Warrick slowly bends his knees and sank to sit to where he is standing. Greg slammed his hand to the door; he hid his face in his arms that is now against the door.
"What's happening? And where's Catherine?" Grissom asked confused.
.........The next night.....
Grissom entered the break room where every one is; he stood there and got every body's attention.
"Is this why you were all sad last night?" Grissom asked raising a white paper in front of them. Nick nodded.
"You all knew that she was leaving last night?"
"All we knew is that she's leaving... she never told any of us when or where she's going" Sara explained in a lonely voice
"I see" he said his expression still as calm as possible. He is hurting so much inside but he is hiding it. It is so hard to hide the emotions he is feeling right now. Catherine left she left just like that... and every one knew... except him.
"I see? That's all you can say!" Warrick raged.
"Well what else could I say?"
"Oh yeah that's right... sorry I forgot that you couldn't really say anything!" Warrick shot back.
"Well what do you guys want me to say?"
"I don't know maybe something more HUMAN" said Nick.
"Guys! Do you think she'll appreciate this if she's here?"
"Well that's it Greg, she isn't." with that Sara stood up and out the door with Warrick and Nick. Greg stood up when the three has left, he was about to leave the break room, then he turned around to face Grissom and said, "I'm sorry about that, they have been holding back their tears theirs no other way for them to express it."
Grissom was left alone, he opened the letter and read it probably for the hundredth time. He still couldn't believe it... he is hoping to see a 'PS: I'll be back in a week' but every time he reads it, it never does instead it says:
Dear Grissom,
Sorry if this has to end like this, by the time you get my letter I'm already gone. I have given my letter of resignation to the sheriff days ago, and he has accepted it. Anyways, I just wrote this so that we'll have closure, I just want to say good-bye. I left to have a fresh new start, a new life a new job and hopefully I'll find peace and happiness along the way. And well, I guess this is good-bye Grissom.
Catherine