Tim's apartment seemed cold and empty. The sun had gone down,
and he found himself in the same place he was a few days ago. The only
difference was that this time he didn't even have anything left to
drink. What he'd give for a couple of sleeping pills right now. He sank
into the yielding cushions of the couch to think. He wasn't angry any
more, just so sorely disappointed. How could he have been so naive as
to think it was going to work out? If life had taught him anything time
and time again it was that anything that perfect would never hold up.
Tim felt sick to his stomach, knowing what had occurred between them
was, on Horatio's part, out of confusion and anger towards his wife.
What the hell had he become here, Tim thought. The home wrecker? The
cheap fling? Maybe he was the rebound fuck. It seemed such a far fall
from being the close friend he was a few days ago. His stomach
continued to twist. It made him want to cry.
Horatio lay, most uncomfortably, on the small, stiff couch next to his desk. It was undeniably office furniture. Looked nice, but as far as comfort went, it was worthless. It occurred to him he needn't bother lying down in the first place, knowing full well he wasn't going to sleep tonight, despite his exhaustion. It was his own fault, he thought. He deserved every bit of this for dragging Tim into his tribulations. His mind was racked with guilt and he questioned his own integrity, when he found all his thoughts were with Tim, and rarely for his trouble with Cynthia. He exhaled a wry laugh every time he heard her voice questioning his loyalty. He hadn't seen anyone for the whole of their marriage, up until last night. His heart sank. He couldn't fool himself. Maybe, she had every right to question him. Sure, he had only turned to Tim as of the other night, but that man had been on his mind for years. And he did spend a lot of his time at the office, as much for his work as it was to spend time with Speed. Physically he had always been loyal, but for the better part of their marriage his heart had been somewhere else entirely. He still loved her. He was just no longer in love with her. They had both ignored their problems as a couple for far too long. It was time to fix things or move on. Leaping up and moving swiftly to his desk, Horatio swiped the nearest piece of paper he could find and began to write. Tim deserved an explanation. So much more than an 'I'm sorry'.
Horatio lay, most uncomfortably, on the small, stiff couch next to his desk. It was undeniably office furniture. Looked nice, but as far as comfort went, it was worthless. It occurred to him he needn't bother lying down in the first place, knowing full well he wasn't going to sleep tonight, despite his exhaustion. It was his own fault, he thought. He deserved every bit of this for dragging Tim into his tribulations. His mind was racked with guilt and he questioned his own integrity, when he found all his thoughts were with Tim, and rarely for his trouble with Cynthia. He exhaled a wry laugh every time he heard her voice questioning his loyalty. He hadn't seen anyone for the whole of their marriage, up until last night. His heart sank. He couldn't fool himself. Maybe, she had every right to question him. Sure, he had only turned to Tim as of the other night, but that man had been on his mind for years. And he did spend a lot of his time at the office, as much for his work as it was to spend time with Speed. Physically he had always been loyal, but for the better part of their marriage his heart had been somewhere else entirely. He still loved her. He was just no longer in love with her. They had both ignored their problems as a couple for far too long. It was time to fix things or move on. Leaping up and moving swiftly to his desk, Horatio swiped the nearest piece of paper he could find and began to write. Tim deserved an explanation. So much more than an 'I'm sorry'.