She lay in her bed that night trying to muffle her sobs into the supple
pillow. Once again, Rin was attempting to grasps that maybe the man she
loved was not hurting her. For the second time he had wounded her frail
heart and the thought of allowing him to do it again brought fresh tears.
A knock at the door startled Rin from her thoughts not giving her time to answer. The door swung open and there stood Sesshoumaru's servant Jaken, "Lady Rin, Lord Sesshoumaru wants you to meet him for lunch."
Rin turned her back to the toad.
"So. I would advise that you come when you are dress." he left her there.
She had never slept so late in the day, but Rin wondered why bother. All that was out of comfort of her room was Sesshoumaru and the womon he really loved.
Rin got dressed, but did not meet the demon lord as he had asked of her. Instead, she went to the garden avoiding any contact with Sesshoumaru.
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Sesshoumaru knew she would never show and stayed in his study, but thought if he had requested her presents that maybe she would leave her room.
Sesshoumaru knew that what he said to her last had hit the young girl hard, but did not think Rin that would confine herself to that vast and empty room. He did not think of her as his slave or to that affect, but Rin was his to love.
He got up from his desk and noticed a young girl seated on a bench, his Rin. Sesshoumaru thought of how last time she was in the garden he was about to confess his love for her and how they would be able to be together. [So much has between us that we never dream would.]
His blood boiled just thinking of how yet again Kay had ruin there love for each other. Rin was the one thing he loved and the one thing that ever loved him back.
Sesshoumaru turned away from the window not wanting to look at what he knew he could never have again.
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Rin sat on the bench and surprisingly was not crying; all-night and late into the morning she had mourned for the loss of his love.
She gazed at the lush green grass then a memory came to her, Sesshoumaru and her sitting in that grass and him taking her into his arms and almost kissing her, rubbing her back, and placing her head on his chest.
The young girl sighed at the loving memory, "If only I could believe that you loved me once." She touched her shoulder and felt the mark he gave her only because of sex.
"Rin." a deep voice came from behind her.
For a moment, she thought she could just run back to her room and never face him, but it had to happen sometime. They had to talk.
"What can I do for you Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He winced as she address him formally, "I have a request."
"Oh really and what does that entail?"
"You are to move into my bed chambers."
She turned and looked at as if she had gone deaf, "Wha-"
He cut her off with his reason, "I have told the other Lords that I have chosen a mate and I cannot let it be seen in my castle that our bond is breaking. It would show that if I could not control my tie with my mate and that I am a weak ruler." He paused to see if she would object to his request, but Rin stayed silence.
"Very well I will see that your belongings are brought into my - our chambers." Sesshoumaru began to walk away from her.
"Sesshoumaru"
He turned with anticipation.
"I will not be hurt by you for a third time."
"Why do you think I will hurt? You said you did not love me." he spoke with sorrow in his voice.
Rin did not think he had heard her when she said she was sorry for loving him granted it was a lie.
Sesshoumaru looked at her face as she registered that her words had indeed wounded him.
Rin stood and bowed then waited for him to leave her and go back to whatever he was doing before.
The youkai bowed then headed back to the castle to see to it that her material possessions were brought to his room.
As Rin watched, the distances between them become farther and farther, she bit her lip trying to compose herself from another emotional break down.
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Once all of Rin's belongings were brought into his chambers, Sesshoumaru wonder how she was going to take it. He did not intend for this arrangement to bring them back into each other arms, but he needed to be close to her no matter how it was done.
***********************************************
Rin stayed away from the castle into the evening, but she knew that she had to go back there and sleep. Sleep in the same bed with Sesshoumaru. The thought made her cringe.
The young girl walked into the dark castle and made it to hallway. However she avoided going to 'their' room and instead Rin went to go bathe.
After staying in the water until it became cold, she creped into her new champers. She saw Sesshoumaru lying in bed already.
Rin slid in between the silk sheets trying her best not to touch him. She hoped that sleep would come fast so she could hear or feel Sesshoumaru's presents. Unfortunately, sleep did not welcome her. Rin laid in silence listening to him breathe. It was not deep. She let out a great sigh.
Suddenly Sesshoumaru got out of their bed and began to pace around the room.
"Rin, I cannot do this. I know you do not care for me or love me, but lying next to you knowing this.." he turned his back to her.
"Sesshoumaru?" she sat up.
He sat on the end of the bed his head in his hands.
Rin inched closer to him and placed her hand on his naked back, "Sesshoumaru.I still love you. I don't even know what it is like not to, but it is hard for me to give into you."
Silences.
"You wanted her to be your mate. You told me that she was to be my mother figure in my life. How can you expect me not to believe her words in that letter?"
"If you had any trust me you would know that I was at a meeting and that my love for you is far greater than lust."
[It was true, if I did trust him and love him, then I would have perhaps asked someone in the castle of his whereabouts.] Rin thought.
He began to get up and walk away from her, "I saw you in your room though."
Sesshoumaru turned at her response, "You saw me? How, I was in a meeting and the only time I was ever in here was when I saw you reading that letter."
"I saw glimpse of your robes. I remember because then a maid dropped something and when I turned away I saw it."
"I can assure you I was never in here at any part of the day. I have witnesses knowing where I was at."
"I also heard a woman's laugh. That is why I do not believe you. I had thought that you were with someone in this room and the note confirmed my belief that you were."
"If the first time you thought her and I were together then why would I deny that I was and then go back to her?"
Rin tried to think of a reason, but came up with none.
"If I had a chance to be with her then I would have taken the first chance I got, but I didn't I stayed with you." He sat back down on the edge of the bed.
Rin moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Placing her head on Sesshoumaru's shoulder, "You're right. If you had wanted her, you would not have gone to all the trouble of making me believe you loved me; especially if you could have her." Realizing that he had a good point Rin still had one question.
"Why didn't you choose her? I mean Kay is a great candidate to be at your side to rule."
He turned and looked at Rin, "She didn't love me."
The young girl raised her head from the youkai's shoulder, "Are you saying that you were in love with her?"
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A/N: I hope you all like how the story is going so far. I know I am putting Rin and Sesshoumaru through a lot.
A knock at the door startled Rin from her thoughts not giving her time to answer. The door swung open and there stood Sesshoumaru's servant Jaken, "Lady Rin, Lord Sesshoumaru wants you to meet him for lunch."
Rin turned her back to the toad.
"So. I would advise that you come when you are dress." he left her there.
She had never slept so late in the day, but Rin wondered why bother. All that was out of comfort of her room was Sesshoumaru and the womon he really loved.
Rin got dressed, but did not meet the demon lord as he had asked of her. Instead, she went to the garden avoiding any contact with Sesshoumaru.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Sesshoumaru knew she would never show and stayed in his study, but thought if he had requested her presents that maybe she would leave her room.
Sesshoumaru knew that what he said to her last had hit the young girl hard, but did not think Rin that would confine herself to that vast and empty room. He did not think of her as his slave or to that affect, but Rin was his to love.
He got up from his desk and noticed a young girl seated on a bench, his Rin. Sesshoumaru thought of how last time she was in the garden he was about to confess his love for her and how they would be able to be together. [So much has between us that we never dream would.]
His blood boiled just thinking of how yet again Kay had ruin there love for each other. Rin was the one thing he loved and the one thing that ever loved him back.
Sesshoumaru turned away from the window not wanting to look at what he knew he could never have again.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= *=*=*=*=*
Rin sat on the bench and surprisingly was not crying; all-night and late into the morning she had mourned for the loss of his love.
She gazed at the lush green grass then a memory came to her, Sesshoumaru and her sitting in that grass and him taking her into his arms and almost kissing her, rubbing her back, and placing her head on his chest.
The young girl sighed at the loving memory, "If only I could believe that you loved me once." She touched her shoulder and felt the mark he gave her only because of sex.
"Rin." a deep voice came from behind her.
For a moment, she thought she could just run back to her room and never face him, but it had to happen sometime. They had to talk.
"What can I do for you Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He winced as she address him formally, "I have a request."
"Oh really and what does that entail?"
"You are to move into my bed chambers."
She turned and looked at as if she had gone deaf, "Wha-"
He cut her off with his reason, "I have told the other Lords that I have chosen a mate and I cannot let it be seen in my castle that our bond is breaking. It would show that if I could not control my tie with my mate and that I am a weak ruler." He paused to see if she would object to his request, but Rin stayed silence.
"Very well I will see that your belongings are brought into my - our chambers." Sesshoumaru began to walk away from her.
"Sesshoumaru"
He turned with anticipation.
"I will not be hurt by you for a third time."
"Why do you think I will hurt? You said you did not love me." he spoke with sorrow in his voice.
Rin did not think he had heard her when she said she was sorry for loving him granted it was a lie.
Sesshoumaru looked at her face as she registered that her words had indeed wounded him.
Rin stood and bowed then waited for him to leave her and go back to whatever he was doing before.
The youkai bowed then headed back to the castle to see to it that her material possessions were brought to his room.
As Rin watched, the distances between them become farther and farther, she bit her lip trying to compose herself from another emotional break down.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= *=*
Once all of Rin's belongings were brought into his chambers, Sesshoumaru wonder how she was going to take it. He did not intend for this arrangement to bring them back into each other arms, but he needed to be close to her no matter how it was done.
***********************************************
Rin stayed away from the castle into the evening, but she knew that she had to go back there and sleep. Sleep in the same bed with Sesshoumaru. The thought made her cringe.
The young girl walked into the dark castle and made it to hallway. However she avoided going to 'their' room and instead Rin went to go bathe.
After staying in the water until it became cold, she creped into her new champers. She saw Sesshoumaru lying in bed already.
Rin slid in between the silk sheets trying her best not to touch him. She hoped that sleep would come fast so she could hear or feel Sesshoumaru's presents. Unfortunately, sleep did not welcome her. Rin laid in silence listening to him breathe. It was not deep. She let out a great sigh.
Suddenly Sesshoumaru got out of their bed and began to pace around the room.
"Rin, I cannot do this. I know you do not care for me or love me, but lying next to you knowing this.." he turned his back to her.
"Sesshoumaru?" she sat up.
He sat on the end of the bed his head in his hands.
Rin inched closer to him and placed her hand on his naked back, "Sesshoumaru.I still love you. I don't even know what it is like not to, but it is hard for me to give into you."
Silences.
"You wanted her to be your mate. You told me that she was to be my mother figure in my life. How can you expect me not to believe her words in that letter?"
"If you had any trust me you would know that I was at a meeting and that my love for you is far greater than lust."
[It was true, if I did trust him and love him, then I would have perhaps asked someone in the castle of his whereabouts.] Rin thought.
He began to get up and walk away from her, "I saw you in your room though."
Sesshoumaru turned at her response, "You saw me? How, I was in a meeting and the only time I was ever in here was when I saw you reading that letter."
"I saw glimpse of your robes. I remember because then a maid dropped something and when I turned away I saw it."
"I can assure you I was never in here at any part of the day. I have witnesses knowing where I was at."
"I also heard a woman's laugh. That is why I do not believe you. I had thought that you were with someone in this room and the note confirmed my belief that you were."
"If the first time you thought her and I were together then why would I deny that I was and then go back to her?"
Rin tried to think of a reason, but came up with none.
"If I had a chance to be with her then I would have taken the first chance I got, but I didn't I stayed with you." He sat back down on the edge of the bed.
Rin moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Placing her head on Sesshoumaru's shoulder, "You're right. If you had wanted her, you would not have gone to all the trouble of making me believe you loved me; especially if you could have her." Realizing that he had a good point Rin still had one question.
"Why didn't you choose her? I mean Kay is a great candidate to be at your side to rule."
He turned and looked at Rin, "She didn't love me."
The young girl raised her head from the youkai's shoulder, "Are you saying that you were in love with her?"
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A/N: I hope you all like how the story is going so far. I know I am putting Rin and Sesshoumaru through a lot.