Chapter 11: Slowly We Begin to Be

Okay, I'm trying something different for this one, it's a peek into Alison's mind, about Wyatt (her father) I will do a few more like this if I get good reviews. Please tell me if you like it or not.

Disclaimer: I don't own charmed or the poem "Well, So Do I"

Slowly we learn to live

Quickly we blame and bleed

Deeply we love and feel

Slowly we begin to be

-Kat

Reviews:

An elephant named Bob: Thank you!

Winter Blaze: Thank you, I will!

Did you feel me walking

Around inside your head

You caught me you tried to kill me you didn't you just killed my soul. I cried I laughed I didn't care can't you see all I want is to be happy. I died I lived if fought I died. I laughed I cried I didn't know why.

Did you hear the words

I softly whispered there

I try to forget what you told me I try to focus on the truth. You are evil I know that I still care about you. You told me I was evil, you said that I would fall. I'll prove you wrong even if it kills me. I wont let you win I wont I'll die before I let you. You know that why do you try why does anybody even try at all?

Do you find it hard to sleep

With me on your mind

You laughed with me you loved me, you tried to help me you hurt me. You killed me you saved me why can't you care? You thought that I would love you. You thought wrong you were there you were never there for me. Maybe I can save you, save you and destroy me, you should have killed me when you had the chance. Maybe if I try hard enough, I can make it all better. Maybe if I don't give up, I can make the teardrops go away. Dried up by the fiery sun. Gone. Like me. You told me we would rule together. You told me you loved me. Did you care? Or was I just another tool? You never knew, you never cared. You gave me live and took it away. I will fight you I will save you. Why can't I just live?

Is the darkness held

With your silent breath,

You said you'd kill me. I remember your past. I wasn't there but I can see it. Clear as day. You laughed you cried you were innocent. What made you like this? So many ask. But I know. I know why you laughed like that, I know why you cry. They think somebody made you like this they are wrong. They loved you for your power, they didn't love him. You equated power with love, with happiness. But you were discontent. You wanted more, as they all do. You thought more power would make you happy. You were wrong. We were all wrong.

Do you hold it to your dreams

And slowly breathe it in

You hurt them to make you happy. But you were never happy. You always wanted what was just beyond your grasp. And when you got it, you wanted more.

Do you let the shadows play tricks

On the memories behind your closed eyes,

Did you love me did you hate me? Should I save you should I kill you? Does it matter anymore? Either way you control my life. Make me fight you make me die. I can remember the way you killed her, the way you laughed. Why did you laugh? You say you're not evil but you are. If I save you I'll die, if I fight you you'll die. Why can't you see the truth? I would have been happy you ruined that. Maybe if I cry hard enough you'll see.

Do you run from the nightmares

And hold on to the safety of dreams,

I want you to smile at me I want you to be gone. I want you to be there. A dream of a better place a better time a smile a laugh a teardrop. See how much I fight against you see how much I try? What does it take to run away to that place, the echo of a fantasy? All I want is to be happy. Then I hear you there behind me and it all falls apart.

Do you rush though the darkness of night

And pray for the light of day

The specter of my past the light of my future the misery of now. Just go and let me die in peace just leave me all alone. The sadness in that young girl's eyes those eyes should have been full of laughter. My eyes. My life. You took that from me, the happiness, the laughter. Cruel laughter now. I don't want to be the last I don't want to be alone you should be here with me You should pray with me. You should smile with me.

Do you hate waking up in the mornings

And finding yourself all alone,

All I want is for you to love me all I want is for you to care. I harden my heart against your cruelty. You should save me I shouldn't have to fight you I love you I hate you I can't live like this. I run from you are everywhere I fight you don't care. I want to be with you again I want you to hold me. Tell me everything's all right tell me that you care. About me. Please.

Well, so do I.

Do you cry at night? Do you want to know what could have been? Do you ever find the strength to wonder why?

If I cry hard enough, will you love me?

If I try hard enough, will you care?

If I beg you to change, will you kill me?

If I save you, will I die?

Will any of this matter, a thousand years from now?

We are nothing, in the grand scheme of things.

Tiny ants crawling on an tiny planet.

But it matters to us.

So I will fight you.

If I show you what you need, will you listen?

If I change what was, will I change anything?

If I succeed, will it matter?

If I die, will you save me?

If I cry, will you care?

I don't want you to become the hard-hearted monster that tortured children. I don't want you to be corrupted by your power. But if I save you, you'll never meet her. I'll never be born. If I'm never born, how can I save you? But I'm here now. I will save you. And I will disappear.

If I die, will it be better?

If I die, will you live?

If I die, will you be saved?

If I die, will they be alive?

If I die, will the world be saved?

If I die...