Chapter 15
I remove the wig and set it on the bathroom counter. Pulling out one hairpin at a time, I look into the mirror. I always look like a mess under these wigs. When all the pins are out I shake my head and my hair flies all around. I turn on the water for the shower to start warming up and undress.
I'm in Australia, possibly the farthest I could get from LA, sleeping in the same room, sharing a bed, with the man of my dreams, who by the way, I just kissed. I can't help but smile at how well this mission is going. I step into the shower and the water falls upon my skin, filling me with warmth from head to toe. I flatten out my hair and close my eyes, letting the water massage my face and glide down my body.
So I'm in a hotel room, alone, with Michael Vaughn. I'm wishing something will happen; wishing we'll break the barrier between us that everyday thins down more and more. I want more than I can have, I want his love, I want him, but I can't have him. He's the one who keeps me going. The one who helps me get through every day and every night, he's my anchor. And I want him, more than anyone could ever imagine. I want him to know what I feel for him, I want to know if he feels the same way about me. Something tells me he does, but I can't be sure. He's the one thing I want most in the world, and is the one thing I probably won't ever be able to have.
I take the soap in my hand and lather my body carefully. Sometimes when I look into his eyes I see something; something that tells me to hang on, to keep fighting, to never give up. I don't know what it is, but it's incredibly strong. It's there when I need it most, I seek it when I need strength, when I need to feel like there's something in this world actually worth living for, and it's always there. It has never before let me down, and I don't think it ever will.
I rinse off and take the tiny little shampoo bottle out of the plastic baggie. I empty some shampoo into my hand and work it into my hair and scalp. I don't know if something will happen between us tonight, I don't know if something will ever happen between us at all. I can only hope that someday I will be free from the lies and betrayal that hold me down firmly, that I will be free from the deceit that binds me like a rope cutting into my skin.
I reach for the knob and turn the water off. I wrap a towel around my head and start to dry off with the other one. I'm back to my giddy teenager mood as I think about Vaughn waiting for me outside. I look over at the large tub on the other side of the bathroom. I'll have to use it tomorrow morning before we leave. I put on an old, faded t-shirt and a pair of blue, plaid boxer shorts. I look into the mirror and moisturize my face with some fluffy white cream from the hotel. I take out some chap stick and apply it and then smile at myself in the mirror. I pull my hair into a messy bun and grab my stuff, leaving the room barefoot, as always. I pack my stuff into my suitcase and close it up again. As I walk into the bedroom, I notice Vaughn lying in the middle of the bed, his tie tossed to the side, barefoot, and with the top buttons of his shirt undone. It's quite a site, and a very nice one too. I roam over to the bed and sit down next to him.
"What are you watching?" I lean against the pillow, edging closer to him.
"Old hockey game" I can see he's extremely intrigued despite the fact that I can guess he's seen the game before. Adjusting my position again, I settle down and within a minute, I am quite engrossed in the game myself. I never liked hockey much, I always found it boring, uninteresting, but suddenly it became an exciting game, full of aggression and passion. The game was interrupted by a commercial and I let out a sigh of disappointment. I turned and noticed Vaughn had been staring at me, looking me up and down, and had looked away as soon as I had turned. I know I must be blushing and I feel like a schoolgirl who just caught her crush looking at her during class.
I'm quite glad to have caught his attention, even without trying, and it pleases me that he found me more interesting than hockey, which I know is his favorite, most beloved sport.
"Good game, isn't it?" I say, smiling foolishly.
"Yeah, but I've seen it before" He returns my foolish grin with one of his own and I have to tear my eyes away from him for a couple of seconds to keep from jumping on top of him and devouring him with kisses. I find myself looking into his eyes again. God, I love his eyes. Suddenly, I let out a giggle and then burst into laughter. His forehead immediately wrinkles and one of his eyebrows pops up in confusion.
"What?" He suddenly seems very self-conscious.
"Nothing..." I'm still laughing so hard.
"Come on Syd, that's something" I try to regain control of myself and take a deep breath.
"Okay...it's just that," and another giggle escapes me," I just realized that you have what Francie would call," and here I go bursting into laughter again.... and really loud too. I must look like a hyena, " 'sex me' eyes" I double over with laughter and then when I come to my senses and look up he's chuckling, but still seems slightly confused.
"Really?" I nod my head, smiling like a fool, once again, "Well then...would you take me up on that offer sometime?" The room goes dead silent. The smiles disappear from both of our faces instantly, but we keep eye contact. I look into his luscious green eyes and am overcome with a desire stronger than I have ever experienced before. We're close, so close I can hear him breathing. I close my eyes, trying to control my own breathing, taking long steady breaths. I'm so close to him, almost touching him, millimeters away from his soft skin. He licks his lips hungrily and trails his eyes down my body slowly, and then back up to my face again.
"Syd..." His hand rises in the air, coming towards my face, but he stops, right before touching my cheek. His hand hovers in the air, as if afraid, unsure. I stare straight into his eyes and I find it there. That glimmer that keeps me going, that gives me strength. And I finally make the connection; I know what I see, or at least I think I do. The barrier that once was between us tumbles down and his hand brushes my cheek, and at that moment I know that the glimmer in his eyes, is reflected in mine.
I remove the wig and set it on the bathroom counter. Pulling out one hairpin at a time, I look into the mirror. I always look like a mess under these wigs. When all the pins are out I shake my head and my hair flies all around. I turn on the water for the shower to start warming up and undress.
I'm in Australia, possibly the farthest I could get from LA, sleeping in the same room, sharing a bed, with the man of my dreams, who by the way, I just kissed. I can't help but smile at how well this mission is going. I step into the shower and the water falls upon my skin, filling me with warmth from head to toe. I flatten out my hair and close my eyes, letting the water massage my face and glide down my body.
So I'm in a hotel room, alone, with Michael Vaughn. I'm wishing something will happen; wishing we'll break the barrier between us that everyday thins down more and more. I want more than I can have, I want his love, I want him, but I can't have him. He's the one who keeps me going. The one who helps me get through every day and every night, he's my anchor. And I want him, more than anyone could ever imagine. I want him to know what I feel for him, I want to know if he feels the same way about me. Something tells me he does, but I can't be sure. He's the one thing I want most in the world, and is the one thing I probably won't ever be able to have.
I take the soap in my hand and lather my body carefully. Sometimes when I look into his eyes I see something; something that tells me to hang on, to keep fighting, to never give up. I don't know what it is, but it's incredibly strong. It's there when I need it most, I seek it when I need strength, when I need to feel like there's something in this world actually worth living for, and it's always there. It has never before let me down, and I don't think it ever will.
I rinse off and take the tiny little shampoo bottle out of the plastic baggie. I empty some shampoo into my hand and work it into my hair and scalp. I don't know if something will happen between us tonight, I don't know if something will ever happen between us at all. I can only hope that someday I will be free from the lies and betrayal that hold me down firmly, that I will be free from the deceit that binds me like a rope cutting into my skin.
I reach for the knob and turn the water off. I wrap a towel around my head and start to dry off with the other one. I'm back to my giddy teenager mood as I think about Vaughn waiting for me outside. I look over at the large tub on the other side of the bathroom. I'll have to use it tomorrow morning before we leave. I put on an old, faded t-shirt and a pair of blue, plaid boxer shorts. I look into the mirror and moisturize my face with some fluffy white cream from the hotel. I take out some chap stick and apply it and then smile at myself in the mirror. I pull my hair into a messy bun and grab my stuff, leaving the room barefoot, as always. I pack my stuff into my suitcase and close it up again. As I walk into the bedroom, I notice Vaughn lying in the middle of the bed, his tie tossed to the side, barefoot, and with the top buttons of his shirt undone. It's quite a site, and a very nice one too. I roam over to the bed and sit down next to him.
"What are you watching?" I lean against the pillow, edging closer to him.
"Old hockey game" I can see he's extremely intrigued despite the fact that I can guess he's seen the game before. Adjusting my position again, I settle down and within a minute, I am quite engrossed in the game myself. I never liked hockey much, I always found it boring, uninteresting, but suddenly it became an exciting game, full of aggression and passion. The game was interrupted by a commercial and I let out a sigh of disappointment. I turned and noticed Vaughn had been staring at me, looking me up and down, and had looked away as soon as I had turned. I know I must be blushing and I feel like a schoolgirl who just caught her crush looking at her during class.
I'm quite glad to have caught his attention, even without trying, and it pleases me that he found me more interesting than hockey, which I know is his favorite, most beloved sport.
"Good game, isn't it?" I say, smiling foolishly.
"Yeah, but I've seen it before" He returns my foolish grin with one of his own and I have to tear my eyes away from him for a couple of seconds to keep from jumping on top of him and devouring him with kisses. I find myself looking into his eyes again. God, I love his eyes. Suddenly, I let out a giggle and then burst into laughter. His forehead immediately wrinkles and one of his eyebrows pops up in confusion.
"What?" He suddenly seems very self-conscious.
"Nothing..." I'm still laughing so hard.
"Come on Syd, that's something" I try to regain control of myself and take a deep breath.
"Okay...it's just that," and another giggle escapes me," I just realized that you have what Francie would call," and here I go bursting into laughter again.... and really loud too. I must look like a hyena, " 'sex me' eyes" I double over with laughter and then when I come to my senses and look up he's chuckling, but still seems slightly confused.
"Really?" I nod my head, smiling like a fool, once again, "Well then...would you take me up on that offer sometime?" The room goes dead silent. The smiles disappear from both of our faces instantly, but we keep eye contact. I look into his luscious green eyes and am overcome with a desire stronger than I have ever experienced before. We're close, so close I can hear him breathing. I close my eyes, trying to control my own breathing, taking long steady breaths. I'm so close to him, almost touching him, millimeters away from his soft skin. He licks his lips hungrily and trails his eyes down my body slowly, and then back up to my face again.
"Syd..." His hand rises in the air, coming towards my face, but he stops, right before touching my cheek. His hand hovers in the air, as if afraid, unsure. I stare straight into his eyes and I find it there. That glimmer that keeps me going, that gives me strength. And I finally make the connection; I know what I see, or at least I think I do. The barrier that once was between us tumbles down and his hand brushes my cheek, and at that moment I know that the glimmer in his eyes, is reflected in mine.