Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!

NessaThranduiliel- nah- that's too much like old ground- I've thought up quite a twist- hopefully you'll like it

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- sweetie-can I just call Uhhh or something- typing out your full name's starting to bug me *grins- sorry I'm just lazy* I'm so glad you got what the sex scene was all about- I was a bit wary of putting that in

Blue fire elf princess- I'm looking for suggestions on names- especially boy's name- I'm suck on that front.

Angelhair1- thanks- umm, #1 mom- umm yeah-well don't hurt me too much

Eowyn- I know, I know- my vocabs been a bit-off. I sincerely hope that this chapter sits better with you

Thanks to all who reviewed- keep it up!

Ok- I'm venturing into new territory at the end of the chapter- it's totally un-elvish- uhh you know what I mean- so don't complain too much- kay

~~~~~~~~

"What's wrong mum?"

Katlin closed her eyes tightly, and sat down facing the blazing fire. The room was dark and the only source of light was the fire. Shadows danced merrily on the walls and ceiling.

Thalia furrowed her brow in confusion. There was something wrong, very wrong. She quickly walked to the couch and sat beside her mother who looked away and fixed her gaze on the flames.

Katlin's hands gripped the folds of her dress, her posture was stiff and her face was tight.

Thalia waited patiently for her mother to speak.

"You know, if you're tired or something we can wait till morning"

"No, no, I have to tell you now" Katlin objected forcefully.

"Alright, do you mind of I start getting ready for bed?"

"Actually, could you stay and sit?"

"Do you remember when you were little, and you used to go to your aunt Suzie's?"

Thalia's eyes narrowed suspiciously, the memories of her aunt Suzie were good ones, she was mums sister and she would always play with her. She would paint and bake with her and she would take her to the park. She even taught her how to swim. One day she suddenly stopped coming to see me. I haven't see aunt Suzie since I was nine.

"Yeah, I remember her. Why are you bringing her up now? You haven't mentioned her in years" she said softly, her mind filling with memories.

Katlin shifted uneasily in her seat. She hand gripping the fabric so tightly that the fabric stayed scrunched up when she moved her hand.

"You see, there is something that I must tell you"

She became silent. The only sound in the room being the crackling of the fire. Thalia sighed heavily. A feeling of deep foreboding was steadily building in her stomach.

"What is it? Mother will you just spit it out?" she almost yelled. Her patience wearing thin.

Katlin stood and walked to the balcony, she leaned on the stone pillar of the doorway as if a huge weigh was upon her shoulders.

"Thalia. Aunt Suzie, wasn't your aunt"

Thalia eyebrow rose and her lips pursed.

"…she was your mother"

Katlin whispered.

"What?" Thalia voice wavered as she spoke.

"I am not your biological mother Lia"

She said, a tear rolled down her cheek, caught by the light.

Thalia's nails dug into her palms. Her heart was beating rapidly as her brain desperately tried to process her mother's words. Her eyes narrowed and she stood up, moving towards the bed. She gripped the bed post as if it were her life line.

"I don't understand" she said softly.

"Martin was your father, your real father. He had an affair early in our marriage. And managed to get her pregnant. His pride wouldn't let him leave the baby with her. He thought it was discussing to raise a child without both parents. So when the baby was born we paid her for the baby so that we could raise you alone. We let her see you for a few years but once you became old enough to start asking questions about things, we stopped the visits. Your mother is Suzie, she's not my sister"

Thalia's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Her mind whirled. Anger swelled within her.

"You let me think, all these years, that you were my mother"

Her voice was level and calm as she spoke. Her gaze was fixed on her mother, closely studying her features. Katlin's face was drawn and she looked human again, she looked old. Her eyes looked tired and weary, but her stance was one of defiance.

There was a knock at the door and Legolas walked in.

Sensing the tense air he stepped back.

"Shall I leave you alone?" he asked, his question directed at his tense wife.

"No, Katlin was just leaving"

Katlin hung her head.

"I am truly sorry Lia"

Thalia's head shot up and she coldly looked at Katlin.

"Get out"

Legolas watched with confusion as Katlin shook her head sadly and exited the room.

~

As the door closed Thalia cried out and sank to the floor. I turned to look at her. Her complexion was pallid and her eyes were dark. Her pink lips were open. She sat still on her knees, her fingernails digging into the bedpost that she still held onto. Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe.

The room was filled with the sound of silent sobs, the air throbbed with tension.

I felt a shift in our bond as she sat gazing at the fire. Small tremors ran through our bond like blistering sparks, followed by the soothing presence of the babes as they sensed their mother's distress. I stood, waiting for some kind of signal. I cold feel her need for closeness but her need for distance was stronger.

She looked aged, her face held more years than she had lived and her eyes held wisdom and distress beyond even her own comprehension. Her hair, which had been so carefully braided, was now handing loosely down her back. She sat back on her ankles and held her hands in her lap.

I know that I must be careful when approaching her when she is in this state of mind. She is not a doll, but despite her complaining, she is still delicate. I know not what is wrong but whatever it is it has unsettled her and now threatens to undo over a years worth of careful rehabilitation.

Slowly and with care, the prince approached his wife, not wanting to startle her he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her wild eyes flew from his hand to his face. A face that held much concern and anguish over his mates condition. He was still unaware of the happenings and confessions the he had unwittingly interrupted.

She shrugged his hand from her shoulder and rose, quickly seeking refuge in the quiet bathroom.

~

I ran my hands through my hair and over my neck, trying to work out the kinks. I wanted to cry, I wanted so much to cry. My own self-pity would overwhelm me if I let it. But I couldn't let it. My babies, what would happen to my babies if I did?

The one thing that I had left from home was fake. She wasn't my mum. It wasn't that she wasn't my mum. It was the lies, the deceit.

I hurt, every where. There's nothing left, nothing.

I felt my heart hammering in my chest, my dress felt tight. I couldn't breathe. My eyes were stinging.

A tear broke through my barriers and made its way down my ace, splashing onto my chest and then trailing to the fabric of my dress.

What hope can I hold now? The possibility of being relieved from my pain had been so close, I cold almost taste it. The birth of my children would have been the start of new life, for them and for myself. It had all disappeared in the lone tear that I had shed. I know not what to think anymore. I thought I was whole, but evidently the goddess felt that my journey was not yet over and she had to inflict more damage.

I was somewhat numb. I could feel physical things, but my emotions were numb.

What is it that I should feel? Anger, sadness, hate, malice, love, forgiveness?

I could hear Legolas pacing in the bedroom. His booted feet keeping up a constant, almost soothing rhythm.

I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. I didn't know what I was feeling, my head was feeding my imaginary emotions, telling me what I should be feeling.

I shook my head and let my eyes focus. Slowly the marble wall came into view. I need a bath. A hot bath. I crawled to the tub and with frozen hands turned the tap. Immediately, the hot water flowed into the large tub, filling the room with steam. I sat while the tub filled. The steam making my dress damp and my skin shine. My hair stuck to my face and I welcomed the discomfort.

I felt exhausted and I hurt. I crawled to the washstand where I knew my make-up bag still stood, though there was not much left in it. I sat back and undid the zip with a sort of reverence. My razor lay there, innocently, it hadn't been touched in four months. Four months seems such a long time. With a new found strength and serenity, I made my way over to the still running bath. Razor in hand, I sat with my feet dangling in the water.

A calm washed over me, an unfeeling calm, where nothing mattered.

I lifted my skirt which was now wet, and settled the blade on my skin, relishing the long lost feel of it.

~

I watched her retreat into the bathroom. I still did not know what was wrong and was loath to ask her. I cold feel her pain through her bond. The babes were becoming distressed at their mothers emotions, I tried to sooth them through our bond and they settled somewhat.

A wave of calm spread through the bond- Thalia. It was not a serine calm, it was a calm that comes through distress and sorrow. It unsettled me. I did not wish to intrude but I did not wish to see her do something irrational either.

I stopped and looked to the bathroom door. Something told me to interrupt. The quiet of the night coupled with the growing discomfort bid me to move, yet my feet would not.

With a new resolve I quickly made my way to the bathroom. I opened the door, not knowing whether I wished to see the sight that may greet me.

Steam poured out of the room, which was now a regular occurrence given that Thalia bathed twice a day.

She sat humming as she raised a blade which I had not seen the likes of for months.

I ran over to her before she could make the first cut, and ignoring the wet floor knelt down and grabbed the blade from her hand. She struggled. Water flew as she kicked her legs. She tried desperately to grab a hold of it as we ended up on the floor, her beneath me. The hands which still tightly held the blade was secured above her head as I held it. Her chest heaved as she reigned herself in.

Her face was blotchy and her hair stuck to her face. Droplets of water ran down her forehead and neck. She moved her head and looked me in the eye. Their usually bright depths had taken on a sunken look, a haunted look. Shadows.

She whimpered softly and I released her. Dropping the blade, she sat up. She looked lost. Her eyes studied me, as if I was a stranger. A hand reached out and made their way over my face and then down my arms to my hands. She picked them up and examined them closely.

"I'm gonna have a bath"

She said, dismissing the previous moments. I sat down and watched her as she made her bath ready. She poured in the lavender oil and then rid herself of her clothes. She had an air of uncertain tranquillity as she waded into the water.

She had closed herself off. Her mind was closed to me and our bond was betraying little.

~

Legolas sat, leaning against the wall. One knee drawn up and his wrist resting on it. His stance was tense and his eyes dark with worry. He had no care for the water that seeped into his clothes or the damp in his hair.

His melancholy eyes settled on his wife, who sat in the tub with her head resting on the side. Her eyes were closed and she looked in deep contemplation.  The cold began to set in a grip his heart. He did not know what was going on but past events and thoughts ran through his head like a tornado, leaving only destruction in its wake.

Thalia shifted in the water and slid down beneath its surface. Her body a deformed shape to him as he gazed at her through its curtain.

She emerged, water dripping down her face and her hair plastered to her scalp. She ignored him as she cleaned her hair.

It felt suffocating to him. He longed to hold her but something warned him against it. His eyes followed her as she got out of the bath and wrapped a silk robe around her body, making it stick to her curves. She sighed as she looked into the mirror and brushed her hair.

In a matter of minutes, Legolas had bathed and was stood behind her, making sure that he did not touch her. Thalia was still brushing her hair, slowly as if in a daze, she lifted her hand and brought the brush through her long locks.

He closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the weariness which threatened to grab a hold on him. He was tiring. Tiring of the constant need to be aware of his wife's whereabouts and her well being. The love that he felt for her was strong, but it was testing. His strength was waning. Shaking his head he opened his eyes and looked at the vision in front of him.

With a new resolve, he gently grabbed her arms and putting one arm around her waist, took her into the bedroom. The texture of the stone beneath his feet and then the change to the soft rug, were the small insignificant details that he noticed at this moment.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her onto the couch before seating himself beside her. He waited in silence. He knew she would talk. She knew that he would be patient with her, but his questions would not go unanswered.

"She lied. My whole life was a lie. I didn't mean it, it's not my fault. Shes not who she says she is"

Legolas watched her, a look of confusion clear on his face.

"She's not my mum. She's not even related to me"

Her face remained blank as she spoke.

"I don't understand? She is your mother"

Thalia shook her head vigorously.

"No. No she's not. Not my real mum"

Legolas waited as she began to explain

"Apparently, Martin is my real dad. He had an affair and he got her pregnant. He didn't want to leave the baby with her so he bought me from"

She stopped as tears began to make their way down her flushed cheeks. Legolas fought hard against the instinct and need to comfort her.

"My aunt Susan. She's not my aunt. She's my real mum. I haven't seen her since I was nine. She took me to the park and we had a picnic, I remember falling into the river and spoiling my favourite dress. It was a white one with a blue sash and a big ribbon on the back

It never occurred to me to question her absence at the time. I asked of course, but Katlin and martin said that she'd moved and they couldn't find her. Stupid really, but I was nine and I was more interested in dolls and dresses than missing people. Things were pretty good between me and Katlin. We did everything together. From shopping to painting our nails, cooking…you name it. She was the perfect mum. Well as perfect as she could be. We rowed, but doesn't everybody? We had some awful arguments. She slapped me once and I ran out of the hose. She found me a couple of hours, crying in the park, watching the small waterfall. She apologised and it was all good. We forgave each other. Isn't that what you're suppose to do with the people you love, that's what it's all about really- love and hate"

She fell silent. Once again schooling her features to appear calm. Legolas sat forward, studying her for any indication of how she felt. Her head turned and in a rush, he felt his heart break. Her eyes held such sorrow. And he knew then what it was. She had worked hard at learning to trust again. She had had to slowly learn to give people her time and benefit of the doubt. Katlin, being her mother and confidant, had overridden all of that. The trust that they had held in each other was sacred and unconditional.

There was a timid knock at the door and then a silence.

Reluctantly Legolas stood, and with one last glace at Thalia, he opened the door to reveal a tearstained and dishevelled Katlin.

"Thalia…I came to apologise. I didn't th…"

She was cut off as an angry Thalia stormed over to join them, a murderous look on her face.

"No. that's it! You didn't think did you? Did it never occur to you that right now may not be the best time to tell me that you betrayed me? You loved a lie,, I was not your daughter. All those years, you never defended me when I was beaten senseless. I thought that you were just trying to do your best for me and not make it worse. What were you doing Katlin? Hmm? Do you have any idea how it feels to suddenly know that not only are you pregnant but your so-called mother lied to you all your life. You have no idea! I had enough to deal with without you supposedly doing me a favour and clearing your conscience"

She stopped. The two women both stood, tears raging own their faces. Legolas stood silently observing the confrontation, watching his distraught wife as she sobbed. The babes cried through the bond. It was too much for them. Eleven babies were extremely sensitive, they could sense any change within either parent, and when put under stress could become exceptionally distraught and could result in illness.

Thalia swayed the small movement catching Legolas eye.

"I strongly suggest that we leave Thalia to rest now Katlin"

Katlin ignored Legolas and stormed over to her daughter.

"Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me?! Twenty one years I've watched you grow up. You were supposed to be mine"

Thalia's eyes closed in seeming exhaustion. Legolas eyes widened, he was anxious to get this over with before any harm came to Thalia and the babes, who were increasingly showing their discomfort.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was watching that…hussy play with you? That stupid smirk on her face as she kissed you, knowing that she'd always have the upper hand"

"I…I…don't think"

 Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead as she attempted to say something.

Legolas felt a lurch in the bond and then all went quiet. He could feel neither the babes nor Thalia.

He raised his eyes, almost in panic. He was relieved to see that she was still standing, barely. Her face now waxen and her eyes nearly closed.

Katlin took it as weakness and attacked her.

"Do not think that you were the only one to suffer in all of this YOU are the problem. This is your entire fault. If you hadn't been born none of this would have happened!" Katlin screamed in a tirade of anger.

Thalia swayed and then collapsed, only saved from the hard floor by her observing and quick husband.

Legolas looked up at katlin and had to bite his tongue before he unleashed the anger that he felt upon her.

"Go quickly, find Elrond"

Katlin stood still her eyes wide and fearful. Leoglas, despite the fallen figure in his arms, suddenly became a lord and a prince.

"Do not tarry, go…now!"

Katlin rushed from the room, regretting her words of anger and haste.

His eyes were panicked but yet still held the calculating and reserved emotion that he needed.

Legolas looked at the form in his arms. He could feel nothing through their bond- nothing. All was still. She looked as only a dead one could, face pale and her eyes closed. Only the rise and fall of her chest told him that she still lived.