Disclaimer: Same as before.
(Titania enters, in her Hermia form)
Titania: Oberon hath done something right! He me telleth correct wherest his lovers confus'd lie. My work begins. (She lies down with them and time passes. Puck is in the background watching. Demetrius wakes up an hour later. He begins to wake up Lysander and Helena)
Demetrius: Companions good, let us begin our crusade for Hermia. Alas! She is here among us! (Other three wake)
Titania: Good friends, sorry am I for my flight day yester. But please, be advised time next to words you chooseth. I felt insulted and harangued like no woman sweet should. Spite! A man's prevailment is no match for a woman's tender heart. For we are creatures soft, and not meant for physical or mental harm. Methinks 'tis not natural, for we are brought up to think this thought, and many believe it not true. Alas, Hermia does not know what 'tis true and what 'tis not.
Demetrius: Hermia, fair, your speech captures me more. Come, marry me, sweet one. I will make you happy, unlike this man whore over here.
Lysander: I beg your pardon?
Helena: Shut up! You started it! (Puck laughs in background; lovers don't hear it.)
Demetrius: Kind Demetrius, thou art sweet! First I must ask the man I wished to join souls with originally. Lysander, hast thou come to thy senses? Will you continue onward with me?
Lysander: Rather would I travel with and marry a pig.
Titania: Demetrius, thou hast your wish. On the fort night I will become your wife. (Lysander and Helena gasp. Puck giggles unnoticed again.)
Helena: Hermia fair! Known you have I since we lived in the crib! Now you choose to forsake me?
Lysander: Demetrius, you and I have always loved, what art thou thinking?
Demetrius: Spare us your tyrants, Demetrius and Helena. Giveth Hermia a break. For like Penelope loyal hath she stayed. She gave Lysander chances plenty to change his mind, and yet he didn't. Insult her he did.
Lysander: Tell her the truth I did!
Demetrius: You may think so, but the truth what you think was too harsh for a woman gentle. Helena, thank you for leaving me alone. Come to your senses you have. Leaving me alone wast a good idea. Marry Lysander, he wouldst make good husband for you.
Helena: What, the whore lover?
Lysander: I know not where all you I think love whores. 'Tis Demetrius I love!
Demetrius: Continues the soap opera. Hermia, let us continue.
Titania: Demetrius, my love new, let me sleep. I hath not slept much this past night.
Demetrius: You thinketh right, Hermia. Here we will sleep. Helena! Lysander! Begone! Give my love and I some space!
Helena: Goodbye love!
Lysander: No words will I waste, for I have been insulted with all this whore stuff. Alas, I have been insulted! No, I'll not say it! Too much has been said already! No more must!
Demetrius: Goodnight, my sweet. (Laying down behind Titania, who laid down during Lysander's spiel)
Titania: Goodnight. (Puts a spell on herself to make herself look asleep. Demetrius dozes. Lysander and Helena enter.)
Lysander: Let's sleep near them any way.
Helena: Good idea. (Lysander lays down facing Titania sees this and successfully restrains a smile. Helena lays behind Lysander.)
Puck: Oberon jest not did! Entertained indeed was I. Where art my master? Surely he would not leave me here to rot. Shall I search, or shall I stay? If I search, lost could I get. Aye, I'll stay. The woods are not safe at night.
Titania: Oberon hath done something right! He me telleth correct wherest his lovers confus'd lie. My work begins. (She lies down with them and time passes. Puck is in the background watching. Demetrius wakes up an hour later. He begins to wake up Lysander and Helena)
Demetrius: Companions good, let us begin our crusade for Hermia. Alas! She is here among us! (Other three wake)
Titania: Good friends, sorry am I for my flight day yester. But please, be advised time next to words you chooseth. I felt insulted and harangued like no woman sweet should. Spite! A man's prevailment is no match for a woman's tender heart. For we are creatures soft, and not meant for physical or mental harm. Methinks 'tis not natural, for we are brought up to think this thought, and many believe it not true. Alas, Hermia does not know what 'tis true and what 'tis not.
Demetrius: Hermia, fair, your speech captures me more. Come, marry me, sweet one. I will make you happy, unlike this man whore over here.
Lysander: I beg your pardon?
Helena: Shut up! You started it! (Puck laughs in background; lovers don't hear it.)
Demetrius: Kind Demetrius, thou art sweet! First I must ask the man I wished to join souls with originally. Lysander, hast thou come to thy senses? Will you continue onward with me?
Lysander: Rather would I travel with and marry a pig.
Titania: Demetrius, thou hast your wish. On the fort night I will become your wife. (Lysander and Helena gasp. Puck giggles unnoticed again.)
Helena: Hermia fair! Known you have I since we lived in the crib! Now you choose to forsake me?
Lysander: Demetrius, you and I have always loved, what art thou thinking?
Demetrius: Spare us your tyrants, Demetrius and Helena. Giveth Hermia a break. For like Penelope loyal hath she stayed. She gave Lysander chances plenty to change his mind, and yet he didn't. Insult her he did.
Lysander: Tell her the truth I did!
Demetrius: You may think so, but the truth what you think was too harsh for a woman gentle. Helena, thank you for leaving me alone. Come to your senses you have. Leaving me alone wast a good idea. Marry Lysander, he wouldst make good husband for you.
Helena: What, the whore lover?
Lysander: I know not where all you I think love whores. 'Tis Demetrius I love!
Demetrius: Continues the soap opera. Hermia, let us continue.
Titania: Demetrius, my love new, let me sleep. I hath not slept much this past night.
Demetrius: You thinketh right, Hermia. Here we will sleep. Helena! Lysander! Begone! Give my love and I some space!
Helena: Goodbye love!
Lysander: No words will I waste, for I have been insulted with all this whore stuff. Alas, I have been insulted! No, I'll not say it! Too much has been said already! No more must!
Demetrius: Goodnight, my sweet. (Laying down behind Titania, who laid down during Lysander's spiel)
Titania: Goodnight. (Puts a spell on herself to make herself look asleep. Demetrius dozes. Lysander and Helena enter.)
Lysander: Let's sleep near them any way.
Helena: Good idea. (Lysander lays down facing Titania sees this and successfully restrains a smile. Helena lays behind Lysander.)
Puck: Oberon jest not did! Entertained indeed was I. Where art my master? Surely he would not leave me here to rot. Shall I search, or shall I stay? If I search, lost could I get. Aye, I'll stay. The woods are not safe at night.