Sora and the Perils of Randomness
By Goggle
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Stacy, Stacy, Stacy the Fanfic Seahorse, Could you not sue, she doesn't steal, all that she owns is a one-dollar bill! And we don't own any songs used or parodied in any chapter of this fic! Any Kairi-bashing is unintentional, any pain on her is a random thought that popped into my head and is for humor purposes. However, if you Kairi-haters want to squeal in delight, go right ahead. I have noticed everyone's positive reviews, and although I want to appeal to everyone, I don't want to alienate my obses-, I mean loving fans! This one's for you!
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Chapter 4: Kairi "Bashing"
It was morning, and Riku was still lying outside his house, covered in shattered glass and fish cigarettes. As the sun rose, he awoke, realizing he had been knocked out by the author throwing him out his second-story bedroom window. Kairi, who was now wearing a neon green sweater-dress and leg warmers, and black high-heeled shoes. She tapped Riku lightly on the arm and said, "Wake up, Riku!" He yawned and rolled over. Kairi sighed and did what she knew might work. She began to sing, "I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through-oo-oo. Didn't know how lost I was until I found you-oo-oo" Riku yawned again and mumbled, "Sing more." Kairi rolled her eyes and continued, "I was beat, incomplete, I'd been bad, I was sad and blue-oo, but you made me fee-ee-eel, yeah you ma-a-a-ade me fee-eel shiny and new-oo." Riku's eyes lit up. It seemed that Kairi's beautiful singing had healed the hundreds of cuts on his body caused by the shattered glass. Kairi smiled and sang the chorus, "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time, like a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin, when your heart beats, next to-o mine." With that, Riku jumped up and gave Kairi a big hug.
Sora had already woken up and was on his way to Riku's house when he saw his girlfriend and his best friend hugging. It would be an understatement to say that he was furious. He chucked the small toy poodle he was carrying at Kairi's head, which caused her to fall to the ground. Riku looked at Sora and shouted, "Hey, what did you do that for? It's not like we were getting it on or anything! She just sang to me!" Sora put down his raised fist and said, "What song?" Riku responded, "'Like A Virgin', why?" Sora raised his fist again and yelled, "You idiot! That was the song Kairi sings to me, and only me! It's our song!" Riku replied, "I didn't know. I mean, didn't both Kairi and Selphie sing it on the beach yesterday? Maybe they were going to perform it in that talent show tomorrow!" Sora raised an eyebrow and asked, "What talent show?" Suddenly, a flyer fell from the sky and into Sora's hand. It read, "Destiny Islands Talent Show Tomorrow". Sora said, "Oh. I guess I should sign up." Sora and Riku walked off to Sora's house to discuss the show.
Meanwhile, Kairi recovered, got up, and brushed the sand off her sweater-dress. She noticed that her dress had caught on a nail. She unattached herself from the nail, and remembered that she had to get her hair done for the talent show tomorrow. She ran over to the center of town, tripping over rocks, speed bumps, and birds along the way. When she finally got to the hairdresser, she had a nasty bruise on her forehead. She put her hand to the bruise as she entered the hair salon. A woman with big poofy hair, for lack of a better description, coaxed Kairi into a chair as she did her hair. Kairi nodded at every one of the woman's suggestions and comments. This was bad for Kairi, however, because the woman crimped, scrunched, and teased Kairi's hair up a good six inches above her scalp, which was miraculous because Kairi had short hair. When she saw herself in the mirror, she screamed, "How could you do this to me?" and stuck her head in a sink full of cold water. She ran out the door sobbing.
At the same time, Sora was in his room with Riku, discussing the talent show. "Oh, I have an idea! We should wear chicken suits and play bagpipes! That would rock their socks!" Riku suggested. Sora glared at Riku and said, "How about you sing 'I'm A Little Teapot' wearing a diaper?" Riku responded, "Man, that would suck!" Sora replied, "Yeah, well so does your first idea!". He picked up his alarm clock off his nightstand and chucked it at Riku's head.
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DUN DUN DUN! What happens next? How will the talent show go? Will Kairi get hurt again, or will she go injury-free the rest of the story? Will there be singing in the next chapter? The answers are I don't know, random, who knows, and probably. Don't trust me? Then find out, in the next chapter of SORA AND THE PERILS OF RANDOMNESS!
-------------------------
Please read and review, send ideas, flame, talk about how hot Sora/Kairi/Riku/Britney Spears/Stacy/Goggle is, whatever. I don't want to have to use the "I want 20 reviews or no new chapters! Arrrrgh!" threat, but if I don't get reviews, I may need to use that. Please review.
There are still 8 kids, but the ninjas now have three times as many unicorns, and chariots with spikes on the wheels. But they're thinking of ditching the giant novelty pencils, so keep reviewing!
By Goggle
-------------------------
Stacy, Stacy, Stacy the Fanfic Seahorse, Could you not sue, she doesn't steal, all that she owns is a one-dollar bill! And we don't own any songs used or parodied in any chapter of this fic! Any Kairi-bashing is unintentional, any pain on her is a random thought that popped into my head and is for humor purposes. However, if you Kairi-haters want to squeal in delight, go right ahead. I have noticed everyone's positive reviews, and although I want to appeal to everyone, I don't want to alienate my obses-, I mean loving fans! This one's for you!
------------------------
Chapter 4: Kairi "Bashing"
It was morning, and Riku was still lying outside his house, covered in shattered glass and fish cigarettes. As the sun rose, he awoke, realizing he had been knocked out by the author throwing him out his second-story bedroom window. Kairi, who was now wearing a neon green sweater-dress and leg warmers, and black high-heeled shoes. She tapped Riku lightly on the arm and said, "Wake up, Riku!" He yawned and rolled over. Kairi sighed and did what she knew might work. She began to sing, "I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through-oo-oo. Didn't know how lost I was until I found you-oo-oo" Riku yawned again and mumbled, "Sing more." Kairi rolled her eyes and continued, "I was beat, incomplete, I'd been bad, I was sad and blue-oo, but you made me fee-ee-eel, yeah you ma-a-a-ade me fee-eel shiny and new-oo." Riku's eyes lit up. It seemed that Kairi's beautiful singing had healed the hundreds of cuts on his body caused by the shattered glass. Kairi smiled and sang the chorus, "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time, like a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin, when your heart beats, next to-o mine." With that, Riku jumped up and gave Kairi a big hug.
Sora had already woken up and was on his way to Riku's house when he saw his girlfriend and his best friend hugging. It would be an understatement to say that he was furious. He chucked the small toy poodle he was carrying at Kairi's head, which caused her to fall to the ground. Riku looked at Sora and shouted, "Hey, what did you do that for? It's not like we were getting it on or anything! She just sang to me!" Sora put down his raised fist and said, "What song?" Riku responded, "'Like A Virgin', why?" Sora raised his fist again and yelled, "You idiot! That was the song Kairi sings to me, and only me! It's our song!" Riku replied, "I didn't know. I mean, didn't both Kairi and Selphie sing it on the beach yesterday? Maybe they were going to perform it in that talent show tomorrow!" Sora raised an eyebrow and asked, "What talent show?" Suddenly, a flyer fell from the sky and into Sora's hand. It read, "Destiny Islands Talent Show Tomorrow". Sora said, "Oh. I guess I should sign up." Sora and Riku walked off to Sora's house to discuss the show.
Meanwhile, Kairi recovered, got up, and brushed the sand off her sweater-dress. She noticed that her dress had caught on a nail. She unattached herself from the nail, and remembered that she had to get her hair done for the talent show tomorrow. She ran over to the center of town, tripping over rocks, speed bumps, and birds along the way. When she finally got to the hairdresser, she had a nasty bruise on her forehead. She put her hand to the bruise as she entered the hair salon. A woman with big poofy hair, for lack of a better description, coaxed Kairi into a chair as she did her hair. Kairi nodded at every one of the woman's suggestions and comments. This was bad for Kairi, however, because the woman crimped, scrunched, and teased Kairi's hair up a good six inches above her scalp, which was miraculous because Kairi had short hair. When she saw herself in the mirror, she screamed, "How could you do this to me?" and stuck her head in a sink full of cold water. She ran out the door sobbing.
At the same time, Sora was in his room with Riku, discussing the talent show. "Oh, I have an idea! We should wear chicken suits and play bagpipes! That would rock their socks!" Riku suggested. Sora glared at Riku and said, "How about you sing 'I'm A Little Teapot' wearing a diaper?" Riku responded, "Man, that would suck!" Sora replied, "Yeah, well so does your first idea!". He picked up his alarm clock off his nightstand and chucked it at Riku's head.
-------------------------
DUN DUN DUN! What happens next? How will the talent show go? Will Kairi get hurt again, or will she go injury-free the rest of the story? Will there be singing in the next chapter? The answers are I don't know, random, who knows, and probably. Don't trust me? Then find out, in the next chapter of SORA AND THE PERILS OF RANDOMNESS!
-------------------------
Please read and review, send ideas, flame, talk about how hot Sora/Kairi/Riku/Britney Spears/Stacy/Goggle is, whatever. I don't want to have to use the "I want 20 reviews or no new chapters! Arrrrgh!" threat, but if I don't get reviews, I may need to use that. Please review.
There are still 8 kids, but the ninjas now have three times as many unicorns, and chariots with spikes on the wheels. But they're thinking of ditching the giant novelty pencils, so keep reviewing!