Sora and the Perils of Randomness

By Goggle

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Sorry for the FOREVER wait. I got distracted from writing by school…and musicals…and school musicals…and then school…and then just my general laziness. So to make up for it, I'll write another chapter so you fan boys/girls can remember how much you loved me. Kingdom Hearts still belongs to Square Enix and Disney, just as it did 6 months ago. You know you want it, baby. Here's another chapter. I thought I might take the time to tell you that Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square and Disney, just as it did 6 months ago. Why do I bother? So I can fill up space.

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Chapter 9: Re-write!

Sora looked at Riku and said, "Gosh, that was only a second but it felt like months!"
"Six, to be exact," responded Riku. Sora looked back at his friend and ask, "What did that weird smile you gave me back then mean?"
Riku glared at Sora. "What do you mean, weird smile? It's just my youthful charms, thankyouverymuch!"
Sora inquired, "But that smile, it was sort of suggestive. I mean, we live in a shounen-ai world, and…"
Riku shot back a look at Sora with the fire of a thousand burning nuns. "WHAT? BY YOUR QUERY ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY THAT I'M QUEER? IS THAT IT? HUH? HUH?"
Sora squinted. "Uh, Riku, that's not what I meant…hey! How can you talk in all capitals?"
The light-haired boy (that's Riku for you folks who haven't taken a look at the character portraits since Van Beuren was president) replied, "What do you mean, all capitals! Sora, this is real life here! It's not a…a…a fan fiction or something like that!"

This dialogue went on for about 5 hours 23 minutes and 38 seconds until the boys realized it was sunset. Riku asked, "Hey Sora, it's the weekend. Wanna go to sleep over at my house and watch the new movie I got called 'Watching The Grass Grow'? It's all arty and…"
At this, Sora got all chibi-lookin' and spoke, "OH WOW RIKU TOTALLY THE GRASS GROWING, IT'S SOOO COOL!" He then got put on large umbrella-hat and a bunch of Mardi Gras beads and did the cabbage patch dance to 'NSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart". It was a whole lot of fun and some moogles came by and started dancing too. Really, you should have been ther- Hold on just one minute! Something's not right. Let me start over from the beginning of the paragraph. Sorry, folks.

The dialogue (you know, the one about the smile) went on for about 5 hours 23 minutes and 38 seconds until the boys realized it was sunset. Riku asked, "Hey Sora, it's the weekend. Let's put all that arguing aside. Wanna come to my house and have a sleep-over? We can watch this new movie I rented. It's about a man who collects potatoes and potato-related memorabilia. It's called "Spud-lust". Really gripping." Sora, who had been staring at his shoes and hadn't really been paying attention. He droned, "Sure…Riku…I'd love to…yeah…when?" Riku answered, "Great! Be at my house at 8 PM!" and sped off like a rabbit on cocaine - which is probably really fast. At least he didn't reproduce like a rabbit on cocaine - which is probably really fast too. And could result in birth defects.

The two teens walked into Riku's house and sat down on Riku's couch. They looked out the window facing the couch and noticed that Tidus was repeatedly running into the window and falling down, partly because he's a little slow and partly because we needed someone to make an appearance here. Sora asked, "Hey man, why is he running into the window." Riku replied, "Bro, it's totally the Windax whichforcopyrightreasonsisn'twindex! Its magical cleaning powers are so gnarly, it looks like the window isn't even there! It makes your glass so clear!" They turned around and smiled and gave thumbs-up to the camera. The cameraman said, "Good take, guys!" and Sora and Riku went up to Riku's bedroom.

Sora peeked into Riku's room as Riku opened his door. Inside was the most impressive bedroom furniture Sora had ever seen. It was made entirely of potatoes. All across Riku's walls were potatoes and potato-related-memorabilia. Really, an amazing sig- Hey! What's happening here! This isn't right! I know Aztrofollicameesha is supposed to be making everything random but really, neither she or I meant for this to happen. Let's try it again.

Riku's room had a pixie theme, with pixie sheets on his bed and a little pixie clock - NO!
Riku's room was covered in memorabilia of rotten coconuts - UH UH NO!
- Wildflowers? NOT EVEN CLOSE
- Pink fluffy clouds? HOW ABOUT NO?
- Well what is it then? Ducks? Spongebob? New Kids on the Block? DO YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IF YOU DO YOU'LL QUIT MAKING ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THE THEME OF RIKU'S BEDROOM!
Riku smiled and said, "No, crazy author girl, it's fish. The many great species of North American freshwater fish." The two boys lay down on Riku's floor. Riku jumped up and ran into his walk-in closet. Some noises came from the closet's direction, and after a few minutes Riku came out with two green wigs and oversized novelty sunglasses. He said excitedly, "Sora, screw the movie…not literally, please…I have the best idea, and we're going to use these."

Meanwhile, Aztrofollicameesha was sitting pretty on a cloud, banging her head against a wall. Which really shouldn't have hurt, since the wall was made of clouds, which is made of water vapor and therefore a gas, and it only hurts if you bang your head against a solid, unless you banged your head against liquid or gas that was really really hot or really really cold, and then you'd probably die. But Aztrofollicameesha isn't human like we are so, she can bang her head against whatever she wants. Anyways, Aztrofollicameesha continued banging her head on The Concise Encyclopedia of Great North American Freshwater Fish and saying, "My imagination's busted! Oh well, only two more days. Two more days. I'll really torture this poor kid, I will, I will. I'll make him wish he'd never wished to have a random life at all!"
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DUN DUN DUN! What happens next? Wil Aztrofollicameesha refresh her imagination? What will happen with Sora and Riku and the wigs and sunglasses and their sleep-over? Will I ever bring up Kairi again? Will I write more? Then find out, in the next chapter of SORA AND THE PERILS OF RANDOMNESS!
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Please read and review, send ideas, flame, talk about how hot Sora/Kairi/Riku/Britney Spears/Stacy/Goggle is, whatever. I don't want to have to use the "I want 20 reviews or no new chapters! Arrrrgh!" threat, but if I don't get reviews, I may need to use that. Please review.

They let two kids go. But some of the remaining kids have ear infections and the ninjas refuse to give them medicine. Plus, two kids had birthdays and the ninjas threw them a party, but they got the wrong kind of cake. Those kids are crying now. Think of the children. Review.