During my three days of suspension I had time to think about the past two months. I never realized how essential Enzo Matrix was to my life, until now. I mean, I'm an independent woman and can take care of myself, but. . .what good is life without someone to share it with? Horrible thoughts started to sneak there way out of my subconcious and into my mind. Maybe I've been away from Mainframe longer than I think. What if Enzo has already moved on and has found another sprite to be with. What if I never get home. Or, what if. . .Mainframe and the others do not really exist and I really am just a user girl with a wild imagination and a really strange name. At that last thought I started to cry. "How could I possibly think that?," I said between sobs, "How could I betray their memory?"
I started to think that I didn't deserve to live----that I didn't want to live. I mean, if Mainframe and the others were real, how could I ever face them after I have betrayed their memory? Also, if it's real then what's to say that I'll ever see them again? And if it's not real, then I don't want to live this horrible life in this wretched, wretched world. After thinking it over I rushed to Daisy's medicine cabinet, grabbed every single pill that I could get my hands on, and went back to my temporary room. "At least Daisy's not here to stop me. And I'm so glad that Enzo, if he exists, is not here to see me like this."
I started trembling like crazy. "Should I really do this?," I thought out loud.
My mind drifted back to Enzo, and the thought of never seeing or being with him again. I was about to put the pills in my mouth, but I noticed something strange. On the nightstand in my room I noticed--a ring. I put all the pills in my right hand and picked the ring up with my left hand. It was a diamond engagement ring. Could it be? No! It couldn't be my engagement ring---could it? Well there was only one way to find out. I looked at the silver band, and found what I was hoping to find--the message that Enzo had engraved on it. It said, "I will love you forever, AndrAIa." I dropped the pills, put the ring on my finger, burried my hands in my face, and started to cry again. I wasn't crying because I was sad, ashamed, or because I wanted to die. I cried because my strength was renewed, and my hope was restored. I had a reason to live. I wasn't going crazy, my friends and Mainframe did exist. And someway, somehow, Enzo had tracked me down and transported this ring to me. He sent it to me as a reminder of his love, and to let me know that now that he has found me, he is going to figure out a way to get me back to Mainframe-and him-where I belong.
I started to think that I didn't deserve to live----that I didn't want to live. I mean, if Mainframe and the others were real, how could I ever face them after I have betrayed their memory? Also, if it's real then what's to say that I'll ever see them again? And if it's not real, then I don't want to live this horrible life in this wretched, wretched world. After thinking it over I rushed to Daisy's medicine cabinet, grabbed every single pill that I could get my hands on, and went back to my temporary room. "At least Daisy's not here to stop me. And I'm so glad that Enzo, if he exists, is not here to see me like this."
I started trembling like crazy. "Should I really do this?," I thought out loud.
My mind drifted back to Enzo, and the thought of never seeing or being with him again. I was about to put the pills in my mouth, but I noticed something strange. On the nightstand in my room I noticed--a ring. I put all the pills in my right hand and picked the ring up with my left hand. It was a diamond engagement ring. Could it be? No! It couldn't be my engagement ring---could it? Well there was only one way to find out. I looked at the silver band, and found what I was hoping to find--the message that Enzo had engraved on it. It said, "I will love you forever, AndrAIa." I dropped the pills, put the ring on my finger, burried my hands in my face, and started to cry again. I wasn't crying because I was sad, ashamed, or because I wanted to die. I cried because my strength was renewed, and my hope was restored. I had a reason to live. I wasn't going crazy, my friends and Mainframe did exist. And someway, somehow, Enzo had tracked me down and transported this ring to me. He sent it to me as a reminder of his love, and to let me know that now that he has found me, he is going to figure out a way to get me back to Mainframe-and him-where I belong.