I do not own Pokémon. But I do own Vincent, and all the other characters that doesn't appear in the game If you want to use Vincent or any of the other characters, you have got to have my permission
A Grey life
Chapter 17: Realisations
You should know these things before reading my story
"" people speaking
( ) a persons thoughts
He was once again back in the dark sea that he hated so much. The creatures were still there, watching him and the water was still as dense as before. The only thing that had changed was that this time he didn't fight to keep his emotions in check. He actually didn't care whether or not the creatures where there, if they could see him and what they planned to do to him. He didn't care about anything. He didn't care if he trained or not. He didn't care about his Pokémon. He didn't care about trying to get home. Someone could have jumped him with fists flying and he wouldn't have done anything to fight back. He could have died right there and he wouldn't care.
Just when his thoughts were at the darkest, his heart started beating faster and faster and he could feel his body being lifted upwards, seemingly pushed by the escalating beat of his heart. He didn't know why his heart had started beating faster all of a sudden. But he didn't think about it. It didn't matter to him. He just let himself float higher and higher.
so cold...
all alone
"Vincent?" a distant voice called his name, echoing in the ocean.
why am I alone?
what have I done?
"Vincent can you hear me?" a flashlight shone in his eyes
I have to know.
what I did wrong.
"Double the dosage." Vincent barely felt the syringe pierce his skin but the voices came closer towards him and he moved faster through the murky waters.
She has to know.
that I didn't want to hurt her. He was just a few feet away from the surface now.
"Vincent, are you there?"
I have to tell her. He broke through the surface.
"Vincent?!"
"...hm?" he could barely hear his own voice.
A brown-haired woman came into his view and once again shone with the flashlight in his eyes.
After a second, he remembered the woman and bounded off the bed, violently shoving the nurse into the wall with one hand on her throat, snarling and with hatred shining brightly in his dark, gray eyes.
Vincent's action had shocked the entire room and it seemed like time stood still for a moment. The doctor had backed several feet, another nurse was holding onto the wall on the other side of the room and DJ, who Vincent just noticed, had also backed up and had her mouth slightly open. Then he saw his mother. She was the only one who hadn't backed away but she had her hands over her mouth and he could see a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Vincent..." He turned his head slightly to look at her and still have an eye on the nurse "What are you doing?" Her voice was shaking and her body with it. The look in her eyes made Vincent soften up a little but when the nurse tried to move, his grip hardened and he snarled at her again as he stared at her like a murderous predator. He could feel the fear ebbing out from the nurse in waves. The look in her eyes told him that she was scared for her life. Of course, Vincent had never thought of it before but he realised how easy it would be to seriously hurt the woman. He could crush her throat within a few seconds.
The thought scared him and he noticed that the nurse had trouble breathing so he loosened his grip, allowing her to breathe but still holding her firmly in place.
He stared her into the eyes and spoke with a guttural voice that was on the brink of a whisper. "Why did you put me to sleep again? Didn't you see I was awake?!" The young nurse just stared at him in fear and he moved in close to her face. "You have no idea of the hell I just went through... I fought to try and wake up but when I finally did, you just put me back down again! Why?"
The nurse tried to avoid his piercing stare "Tell me!!" he growled at her as he hardened his grip on her and forced her to look at him.
Tears began flowing freely from her eyes "I..." her voice was merely a whisper. Vincent was the only one who could hear what she was saying. "There was a man who wanted me..." He wanted me to make you stay asleep for a few days."
"Who?!" Vincent didn't bother keeping his voice low anymore.
"I don't know!" She called out. Vincent could feel her tears as they touched the hand he had on her throat. "He was bald... and he smoke a cigar..." she thought for a minute "What else?!" Vincent screamed at her
"I don't know! He looked like any other person! He just gave me a bundle of money and told me to make sure that you were out for four days." Everyone in the room heard the nurse that time.
Vincent searched his memory for someone bald and with a cigar in his mouth. And who would be handing out money to keep him unconscious? His record of people wasn't what anyone would call large...
He could only think of one person.
He let go of the nurse, who fell to the floor gasping for air and hurrying to get out of his way.
Suddenly he felt very lightheaded. He got down on one knee to try and stabilise himself. His mother came down and wrapped her arms around him, holding him from falling to the floor.
She just sat there for a while, holding him. Even though his world was very blurry, he still realized what it was he had just done. His mother was probably just as scared of him as the nurse had been. He was surprised that he hadn't been tackled to the ground yet and given a tranquilizer. But the thought left as soon as it came to him.
(four days... I was out for four days. Damn I feel weak... I'm not even strong enough for my legs to carry me...) He instantly remembered the event with the Rhyhorn and Rhydon. How much it had hurt when they attacked. How the last thing he saw was Slate throwing the Rhydon into the forest.
Feeling a little less dizzy, he raised his head and asked "Where's my Pokémon?" He was surprised and a little ashamed that he sounded so weak.
"They're ok. I took them to the Pokémon Centre after we got you here." DJ answered.
Vincent glared up at her from the floor. "You... Why..." he stood up, his legs shaking and stared at DJ "did you know?"
DJ was obviously surprised at the question. "Knew what?" He could see her backing a little. She was afraid that he would do the same to her what he had done to the nurse. Heck, everyone in the room was afraid of him. But he wouldn't do that again. Then he would most certainly get put back to sleep and wake up tied to the bed.
"How much did he give you? Or is it already in your job duties?!" He advanced on her slowly, holding on to whatever he could, careful not to lose his balance while he pinned her to the wall with his gaze.
She fidgeted as he advanced on her. "Who are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend like you don't know!" He grabbed an IV stand and threw it into the nearby wall, making everyone in the room jump.
The violent throw caused Vincent to fall to the floor, holding his head. He spoke with a low, guttural voice. "That nurse was paid to keep me sedated." Nothing was heard throughout the room but Vincent could feel the tension.
"she..." he paused a little to make sure he didn't throw up "was paid by a, bald man smoking a cigar."
He looked up at DJ and talked very slow. Just to make sure she got it all. "How many people do you know that are bald, smoke cigars and would benefit from keeping me sedated?!" he intensified his gaze even further, hoping he would burn a hole through her skull.
"I know only one... Your boss." He looked back down on the floor. "That fat, cigarsmoking fuck paid her to keep me down!" He slammed his hands down on the floor. "Did you know?!" he screamed at her.
DJ stood against the wall with her lips pressed together, her brows lowered and her eyes fixed on him. "...Four days ago, you saved my life." Her voice was shaking with anger "You threw me out of the way to save me from being crushed. You took a punch that would have knocked anyone unconscious. Your ribs were broken and you could barely walk but still you came back. You came back and threw your fist into something as hard as a rock when you already knew that it would have no effect. And you KNEW that you could die! I owe you my life three times over and now you ask me if I would do something like that to you?!"
Vincent didn't say anything.
"No, I didn't know." DJ said and walked out of the room. With that, the doctors picked up Vincent and put him back on the bed.
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A week passed. After Vincent's little show, the doctor had told him that it would take some time before he could leave because of his injuries. To any other person, it would have been acceptable. But Vincent Grey wasn't any other person. He wanted to leave as soon as possible and he just thought it was bullshit when the doctor told him that he needed to stay. He had a wounded foot and hand and a couple of broken ribs. So what? He could take the pain. He was a man.
The doctor had tried to argue with him a couple of minutes before he gave in. He had told Vincent that if he wanted to leave that badly, he wouldn't stop him.
Vincent had gone off the bed immediately. When he set down his bad foot, it had hurt. It had hurt like hell. But Vincent didn't want to stay in the hospital. And he didn't want to be proven that he was wrong either, so he bit down and walked a few more steps. After his fourth step, it felt like something snapped and Vincent fell to the ground. He had tried to break the fall with his hands, which was a really bad move. His wounded hand hurt just as much as his foot when it hit the ground so he caved in and landed on his broken ribs.
Now he couldn't take it anymore. He cried out in pain as he felt his ribs move. There he was. On the floor unable to move. He was helpless and he knew it. The doctor hadn't made a move to help him either. He just stood there, looking at the poor shell of a man that was Vincent.
"Still want to go?" was all he said. Vincent didn't reply. The doctor had made his point very clear.
So Vincent stayed. Much to his frustration. What the hell was he supposed to do in a hospital bed? He couldn't train. He couldn't battle. He couldn't sit against a tree and look at Pokémon. He couldn't swim in the ocean. He couldn't feel the smell of grass in the morning or food over a fire. He couldn't... He couldn't do anything.
Vincent sighed heavily and looked out the window. He had been moved to another floor after he had woken up. They had rolled him to his new room in a wheelchair. A goddamn wheelchair! He would have walked his way there even if he only had half a foot! He thought it was really humiliating to get rolled around by some guy like you were ninety years old and had a hip problem! They could at least have given him crutches. He wouldn't have used those either but at least they could have offered him a pair.
They had even put him in a room all by himself because they thought he would repeat his previous actions. But he didn't mind that though. He liked it by himself. He had a TV, a cool remote to his bed, a nice little curtain that went all the way around his bed and a sweet pyjama that had air- condition all the way down his back... And let's not forget about the best of all! He had his very own potty so that he wouldn't have to move anywhere, thus rendering him unable to go out of his room simply because he had no reason to.
It wasn't difficult to get bored. And on the second day since he had woken up, he almost wished he had run away from the Rhyhorns and Rhydon and let DJ cope on her own.
(She could've thrown her camera at them or something...) The thought made Vincent lighten up for a second. Then he remembered that he hadn't seen DJ since he had accused her of knowing about what the nurse had done to him.
(She did have a point back there. Assuming she is a woman of honor. Not everyone is. Heck, almost no one believes in honor. It's all backstabbing... and why wouldn't it be? Backstabbing is the easy way.) Vincent gently massaged his injured hand, it was still very sore. But his hand was the least of his troubles. He could still travel with a hurt hand. But he couldn't with a hurt foot. Or broken ribs either.
Vincent sighed and winced at the pain that followed. He laid his head back and started to think about the nightmares he had experienced. He had never really had any bad nightmares. Not even when he was little. Sure, it had happened that he had called out to his mother in the middle of the night with tears streaming but it hadn't happened often at all. And even then, the nightmares weren't like this.
In a sea with creatures. Reliving painful scenes from his school years. Seeing his mother dead. Seeing himself as a man on the brink of madness. And then there was the one that puzzled him the most. He was in a barren and incredibly cold landscape and all of a sudden, he feels the heat of someone else. No one is actually there but he can sense someone warm and comforting. Someone that protects him from the cold. And then when he accepts that someone wants to protect him, that someone stabs him in the place that hurts the most. His heart.
When he thought of them all it kind of felt like all the dreams were trying to break him. To put him through one tough emotion after the other just to break him down.
(That's nonsense... It's my own mind. Why would I want to break myself?)
Because you know that you aren't as strong as you think you are. And that it isn't good to be what you are trying to achieve.
Vincent didn't think those words. They just appeared in his mind with one single emotion. Doubt.
What was he really trying to be? Someone as physically fit as possible, of course. But it was relatively easy to train. Trying to change your mind was something else. He didn't want to be... vulnerable. He wanted to be in full control. He didn't want to get nervous. Or afraid. He wanted to be the best at as much as possible. He didn't want to have a single weak spot.
(if you don't want a weak spot, you shouldn't have any emotions. They only mess things up for you. Screw with your head.)
Flawless. Perfect. No emotions. Uncapable of feeling.
(...a robot.)
Did he want to be like a robot? He knew that it wasn't a good thing to be like that but in a way, he did want to be exactly like that. Why? Why want to be perfect?
(Matt...) the only reason Vincent had started training himself in the first place and trying to become perfect, was Matt. If Vincent was perfect, Matt couldn't say or do anything to hurt him. He wondered what kind of person he would be like if Matt hadn't existed. Most likely completely different.
He hated Matt for causing him so much pain! Oh, he would love to get even with him and whoever was with him! Let them know what he had become! That he was superior over them in every department possible! He was stronger than them, smarter than them, faster than them! His heart craved for a moment where all his older adversaries picked a fight with him. How he would humiliate them! He had even thought of the event in detail. How it would start and how it would end.
He would see Matt and his posse walking towards him, smiling because of the opportunity to beat up on someone. Vincent would be wearing big, baggy clothes just so that they wouldn't see the muscle he had gotten since that day at the end of the ninth grade. And that he would act scared of them just so that they would be sure he would go down easily. But how he would humiliate them... He would let Matt throw the first punch, which usually came to the gut. But he wouldn't get out of the way. Heck, he wouldn't even try to block it. He would just tighten his abs and feel the blow land on him. Then he would grab Matt's hand by the wrist, squeezing it as he slowly bended it upwards. That was where Matt's grin would be lost and replaced with the face of a man who was in pain and had just realized he might have taken water over his head. Vincent would then stare into his eyes and smile before he punched the weakling straight to the jaw, hopefully breaking it.
Then the entire posse would probably jump him. But he didn't think he would have any problems whatsoever with them. A few quick punches and kicks and they would be on the ground, whining.
His chain of thought was interrupted when he heard the door open and when he looked, he saw DJ in the doorway, wearing a beige sack over her shoulder. The second he saw her, he felt tension in the room. She didn't look at him when she walked over to his bed and her facial expression signalled discomfort and even nervousness.
(Why is she nervous??)
When she reached his bed, she laid the sack on his slightly parted legs "For you." Then she sat down on a chair that stood next to his bed.
"What's this?" He looked at her but when their eyes met, she quickly looked at the bag and waved with her hand a little at it, "Open"
The sack was tied with a string at the top and when Vincent untied the knot and looked inside, he saw that the entire bag was filled with envelopes.
"Letters for you. People sent them to the Network. And that's just a small amount. We are basically swimming in them over there.
Vincent looked around a little more in the bag and then he sighed.
"DJ..." She noticed immediately that he hadn't called her woman "I know that you think I'm the biggest ass on this planet. And if you don't, you should. But you're wrong. I'm not as bad as you think I am." He looked her in the eyes "The way I've acted towards you have been nothing but just that. Acting. I've been like that because I thought that if I treated you really badly, you would break down and don't do the show anymore. But after all of this attention it's been getting instead, I won't be able to do anything about it." He had watched the show on TV and there had been a few people at the hospital who wanted to see him. However, no one could come in because he was still considered a live wire.
He paused a little and took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was going to say. "So if you and me are going to have to be together for another six months, it's better if we get along."
DJ just sat there, not knowing what to say. She was a little shocked and at the same time, she didn't believe a word he was saying. In her eyes, he was an ass. A stupid ass, too. He could quit the show anytime he wanted to. After he had accused her, she had gone to the Producer and confronted him about it. True enough, he had paid the nurse. All Vincent had to do was to call the police, they would speak to the nurse and she would identify the Producer. DJ had seized the moment and taken to a little good old-fashioned blackmail. In exchange for not telling anyone about the bribing, DJ would get to decide everything that had anything to do with the show. Technically, it was her show. She could do whatever she wanted and if anyone had anything against it, they would think the Producer had done it and they would confront him. He couldn't do much more than deal with whoever had something to say.
Of course, she didn't tell Vincent any of this. If he knew, he would be gone in less than ten seconds.
"I don't believe that you are a nice guy. You'll just going to have to prove it to me." He could almost hear that she smiled as she said it.
"I'm not proving anything!" He wasn't going to be her damn puppy just to prove that he was in fact nicer than what he had appeared to be. Maybe not pleasant and funny but nicer than before at least.
"Calm down... I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm just saying that I have a hard time to believe you. If you're telling the truth, I'll notice it, right?"
He didn't say anything in response.
"Right. Oh, a nurse asked me to give you this, too. She was too afraid to go in here herself..." She took out a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him. "Apparently, some girl had been here to visit you while you were unconscious and she left you this before she left."
It was just a paper folded in half with his name written on one side. The handwriting was small and neat. Vincent opened the paper and read what was written.
'Vincent Grey'
'I have been here for three days now and you show no signs of waking up. If I could, I would stay longer but I have things to do. I don't know if you remember me or not but if you want to hear what I have to say, you should go to Hoenn. I won't be too hard to find.'
'Just take the challenge.'
Notes: This chapter has been delayed for an extremely long time now. During that time, I've lost my will to write. At least to write with a passion. I have also lost my passion for Pokémon.
Without those two, it is very difficult for me to write so that I'm satisfied with it myself. And if I can't even satisfy my own needs, then how can I possibly satisfy the readers needs? I hate to leave the story like this and if I could let all of you into my head and allow you access to what I was planning for Vincent, I would gladly do it.
This might be the last chapter of A Grey Life. If it isn't, the next chapter probably won't see the light of day for a long time... But you never know. Just... don't wait up. Yours truly / Yorun
A Grey life
Chapter 17: Realisations
You should know these things before reading my story
"" people speaking
( ) a persons thoughts
He was once again back in the dark sea that he hated so much. The creatures were still there, watching him and the water was still as dense as before. The only thing that had changed was that this time he didn't fight to keep his emotions in check. He actually didn't care whether or not the creatures where there, if they could see him and what they planned to do to him. He didn't care about anything. He didn't care if he trained or not. He didn't care about his Pokémon. He didn't care about trying to get home. Someone could have jumped him with fists flying and he wouldn't have done anything to fight back. He could have died right there and he wouldn't care.
Just when his thoughts were at the darkest, his heart started beating faster and faster and he could feel his body being lifted upwards, seemingly pushed by the escalating beat of his heart. He didn't know why his heart had started beating faster all of a sudden. But he didn't think about it. It didn't matter to him. He just let himself float higher and higher.
so cold...
all alone
"Vincent?" a distant voice called his name, echoing in the ocean.
why am I alone?
what have I done?
"Vincent can you hear me?" a flashlight shone in his eyes
I have to know.
what I did wrong.
"Double the dosage." Vincent barely felt the syringe pierce his skin but the voices came closer towards him and he moved faster through the murky waters.
She has to know.
that I didn't want to hurt her. He was just a few feet away from the surface now.
"Vincent, are you there?"
I have to tell her. He broke through the surface.
"Vincent?!"
"...hm?" he could barely hear his own voice.
A brown-haired woman came into his view and once again shone with the flashlight in his eyes.
After a second, he remembered the woman and bounded off the bed, violently shoving the nurse into the wall with one hand on her throat, snarling and with hatred shining brightly in his dark, gray eyes.
Vincent's action had shocked the entire room and it seemed like time stood still for a moment. The doctor had backed several feet, another nurse was holding onto the wall on the other side of the room and DJ, who Vincent just noticed, had also backed up and had her mouth slightly open. Then he saw his mother. She was the only one who hadn't backed away but she had her hands over her mouth and he could see a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Vincent..." He turned his head slightly to look at her and still have an eye on the nurse "What are you doing?" Her voice was shaking and her body with it. The look in her eyes made Vincent soften up a little but when the nurse tried to move, his grip hardened and he snarled at her again as he stared at her like a murderous predator. He could feel the fear ebbing out from the nurse in waves. The look in her eyes told him that she was scared for her life. Of course, Vincent had never thought of it before but he realised how easy it would be to seriously hurt the woman. He could crush her throat within a few seconds.
The thought scared him and he noticed that the nurse had trouble breathing so he loosened his grip, allowing her to breathe but still holding her firmly in place.
He stared her into the eyes and spoke with a guttural voice that was on the brink of a whisper. "Why did you put me to sleep again? Didn't you see I was awake?!" The young nurse just stared at him in fear and he moved in close to her face. "You have no idea of the hell I just went through... I fought to try and wake up but when I finally did, you just put me back down again! Why?"
The nurse tried to avoid his piercing stare "Tell me!!" he growled at her as he hardened his grip on her and forced her to look at him.
Tears began flowing freely from her eyes "I..." her voice was merely a whisper. Vincent was the only one who could hear what she was saying. "There was a man who wanted me..." He wanted me to make you stay asleep for a few days."
"Who?!" Vincent didn't bother keeping his voice low anymore.
"I don't know!" She called out. Vincent could feel her tears as they touched the hand he had on her throat. "He was bald... and he smoke a cigar..." she thought for a minute "What else?!" Vincent screamed at her
"I don't know! He looked like any other person! He just gave me a bundle of money and told me to make sure that you were out for four days." Everyone in the room heard the nurse that time.
Vincent searched his memory for someone bald and with a cigar in his mouth. And who would be handing out money to keep him unconscious? His record of people wasn't what anyone would call large...
He could only think of one person.
He let go of the nurse, who fell to the floor gasping for air and hurrying to get out of his way.
Suddenly he felt very lightheaded. He got down on one knee to try and stabilise himself. His mother came down and wrapped her arms around him, holding him from falling to the floor.
She just sat there for a while, holding him. Even though his world was very blurry, he still realized what it was he had just done. His mother was probably just as scared of him as the nurse had been. He was surprised that he hadn't been tackled to the ground yet and given a tranquilizer. But the thought left as soon as it came to him.
(four days... I was out for four days. Damn I feel weak... I'm not even strong enough for my legs to carry me...) He instantly remembered the event with the Rhyhorn and Rhydon. How much it had hurt when they attacked. How the last thing he saw was Slate throwing the Rhydon into the forest.
Feeling a little less dizzy, he raised his head and asked "Where's my Pokémon?" He was surprised and a little ashamed that he sounded so weak.
"They're ok. I took them to the Pokémon Centre after we got you here." DJ answered.
Vincent glared up at her from the floor. "You... Why..." he stood up, his legs shaking and stared at DJ "did you know?"
DJ was obviously surprised at the question. "Knew what?" He could see her backing a little. She was afraid that he would do the same to her what he had done to the nurse. Heck, everyone in the room was afraid of him. But he wouldn't do that again. Then he would most certainly get put back to sleep and wake up tied to the bed.
"How much did he give you? Or is it already in your job duties?!" He advanced on her slowly, holding on to whatever he could, careful not to lose his balance while he pinned her to the wall with his gaze.
She fidgeted as he advanced on her. "Who are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend like you don't know!" He grabbed an IV stand and threw it into the nearby wall, making everyone in the room jump.
The violent throw caused Vincent to fall to the floor, holding his head. He spoke with a low, guttural voice. "That nurse was paid to keep me sedated." Nothing was heard throughout the room but Vincent could feel the tension.
"she..." he paused a little to make sure he didn't throw up "was paid by a, bald man smoking a cigar."
He looked up at DJ and talked very slow. Just to make sure she got it all. "How many people do you know that are bald, smoke cigars and would benefit from keeping me sedated?!" he intensified his gaze even further, hoping he would burn a hole through her skull.
"I know only one... Your boss." He looked back down on the floor. "That fat, cigarsmoking fuck paid her to keep me down!" He slammed his hands down on the floor. "Did you know?!" he screamed at her.
DJ stood against the wall with her lips pressed together, her brows lowered and her eyes fixed on him. "...Four days ago, you saved my life." Her voice was shaking with anger "You threw me out of the way to save me from being crushed. You took a punch that would have knocked anyone unconscious. Your ribs were broken and you could barely walk but still you came back. You came back and threw your fist into something as hard as a rock when you already knew that it would have no effect. And you KNEW that you could die! I owe you my life three times over and now you ask me if I would do something like that to you?!"
Vincent didn't say anything.
"No, I didn't know." DJ said and walked out of the room. With that, the doctors picked up Vincent and put him back on the bed.
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A week passed. After Vincent's little show, the doctor had told him that it would take some time before he could leave because of his injuries. To any other person, it would have been acceptable. But Vincent Grey wasn't any other person. He wanted to leave as soon as possible and he just thought it was bullshit when the doctor told him that he needed to stay. He had a wounded foot and hand and a couple of broken ribs. So what? He could take the pain. He was a man.
The doctor had tried to argue with him a couple of minutes before he gave in. He had told Vincent that if he wanted to leave that badly, he wouldn't stop him.
Vincent had gone off the bed immediately. When he set down his bad foot, it had hurt. It had hurt like hell. But Vincent didn't want to stay in the hospital. And he didn't want to be proven that he was wrong either, so he bit down and walked a few more steps. After his fourth step, it felt like something snapped and Vincent fell to the ground. He had tried to break the fall with his hands, which was a really bad move. His wounded hand hurt just as much as his foot when it hit the ground so he caved in and landed on his broken ribs.
Now he couldn't take it anymore. He cried out in pain as he felt his ribs move. There he was. On the floor unable to move. He was helpless and he knew it. The doctor hadn't made a move to help him either. He just stood there, looking at the poor shell of a man that was Vincent.
"Still want to go?" was all he said. Vincent didn't reply. The doctor had made his point very clear.
So Vincent stayed. Much to his frustration. What the hell was he supposed to do in a hospital bed? He couldn't train. He couldn't battle. He couldn't sit against a tree and look at Pokémon. He couldn't swim in the ocean. He couldn't feel the smell of grass in the morning or food over a fire. He couldn't... He couldn't do anything.
Vincent sighed heavily and looked out the window. He had been moved to another floor after he had woken up. They had rolled him to his new room in a wheelchair. A goddamn wheelchair! He would have walked his way there even if he only had half a foot! He thought it was really humiliating to get rolled around by some guy like you were ninety years old and had a hip problem! They could at least have given him crutches. He wouldn't have used those either but at least they could have offered him a pair.
They had even put him in a room all by himself because they thought he would repeat his previous actions. But he didn't mind that though. He liked it by himself. He had a TV, a cool remote to his bed, a nice little curtain that went all the way around his bed and a sweet pyjama that had air- condition all the way down his back... And let's not forget about the best of all! He had his very own potty so that he wouldn't have to move anywhere, thus rendering him unable to go out of his room simply because he had no reason to.
It wasn't difficult to get bored. And on the second day since he had woken up, he almost wished he had run away from the Rhyhorns and Rhydon and let DJ cope on her own.
(She could've thrown her camera at them or something...) The thought made Vincent lighten up for a second. Then he remembered that he hadn't seen DJ since he had accused her of knowing about what the nurse had done to him.
(She did have a point back there. Assuming she is a woman of honor. Not everyone is. Heck, almost no one believes in honor. It's all backstabbing... and why wouldn't it be? Backstabbing is the easy way.) Vincent gently massaged his injured hand, it was still very sore. But his hand was the least of his troubles. He could still travel with a hurt hand. But he couldn't with a hurt foot. Or broken ribs either.
Vincent sighed and winced at the pain that followed. He laid his head back and started to think about the nightmares he had experienced. He had never really had any bad nightmares. Not even when he was little. Sure, it had happened that he had called out to his mother in the middle of the night with tears streaming but it hadn't happened often at all. And even then, the nightmares weren't like this.
In a sea with creatures. Reliving painful scenes from his school years. Seeing his mother dead. Seeing himself as a man on the brink of madness. And then there was the one that puzzled him the most. He was in a barren and incredibly cold landscape and all of a sudden, he feels the heat of someone else. No one is actually there but he can sense someone warm and comforting. Someone that protects him from the cold. And then when he accepts that someone wants to protect him, that someone stabs him in the place that hurts the most. His heart.
When he thought of them all it kind of felt like all the dreams were trying to break him. To put him through one tough emotion after the other just to break him down.
(That's nonsense... It's my own mind. Why would I want to break myself?)
Because you know that you aren't as strong as you think you are. And that it isn't good to be what you are trying to achieve.
Vincent didn't think those words. They just appeared in his mind with one single emotion. Doubt.
What was he really trying to be? Someone as physically fit as possible, of course. But it was relatively easy to train. Trying to change your mind was something else. He didn't want to be... vulnerable. He wanted to be in full control. He didn't want to get nervous. Or afraid. He wanted to be the best at as much as possible. He didn't want to have a single weak spot.
(if you don't want a weak spot, you shouldn't have any emotions. They only mess things up for you. Screw with your head.)
Flawless. Perfect. No emotions. Uncapable of feeling.
(...a robot.)
Did he want to be like a robot? He knew that it wasn't a good thing to be like that but in a way, he did want to be exactly like that. Why? Why want to be perfect?
(Matt...) the only reason Vincent had started training himself in the first place and trying to become perfect, was Matt. If Vincent was perfect, Matt couldn't say or do anything to hurt him. He wondered what kind of person he would be like if Matt hadn't existed. Most likely completely different.
He hated Matt for causing him so much pain! Oh, he would love to get even with him and whoever was with him! Let them know what he had become! That he was superior over them in every department possible! He was stronger than them, smarter than them, faster than them! His heart craved for a moment where all his older adversaries picked a fight with him. How he would humiliate them! He had even thought of the event in detail. How it would start and how it would end.
He would see Matt and his posse walking towards him, smiling because of the opportunity to beat up on someone. Vincent would be wearing big, baggy clothes just so that they wouldn't see the muscle he had gotten since that day at the end of the ninth grade. And that he would act scared of them just so that they would be sure he would go down easily. But how he would humiliate them... He would let Matt throw the first punch, which usually came to the gut. But he wouldn't get out of the way. Heck, he wouldn't even try to block it. He would just tighten his abs and feel the blow land on him. Then he would grab Matt's hand by the wrist, squeezing it as he slowly bended it upwards. That was where Matt's grin would be lost and replaced with the face of a man who was in pain and had just realized he might have taken water over his head. Vincent would then stare into his eyes and smile before he punched the weakling straight to the jaw, hopefully breaking it.
Then the entire posse would probably jump him. But he didn't think he would have any problems whatsoever with them. A few quick punches and kicks and they would be on the ground, whining.
His chain of thought was interrupted when he heard the door open and when he looked, he saw DJ in the doorway, wearing a beige sack over her shoulder. The second he saw her, he felt tension in the room. She didn't look at him when she walked over to his bed and her facial expression signalled discomfort and even nervousness.
(Why is she nervous??)
When she reached his bed, she laid the sack on his slightly parted legs "For you." Then she sat down on a chair that stood next to his bed.
"What's this?" He looked at her but when their eyes met, she quickly looked at the bag and waved with her hand a little at it, "Open"
The sack was tied with a string at the top and when Vincent untied the knot and looked inside, he saw that the entire bag was filled with envelopes.
"Letters for you. People sent them to the Network. And that's just a small amount. We are basically swimming in them over there.
Vincent looked around a little more in the bag and then he sighed.
"DJ..." She noticed immediately that he hadn't called her woman "I know that you think I'm the biggest ass on this planet. And if you don't, you should. But you're wrong. I'm not as bad as you think I am." He looked her in the eyes "The way I've acted towards you have been nothing but just that. Acting. I've been like that because I thought that if I treated you really badly, you would break down and don't do the show anymore. But after all of this attention it's been getting instead, I won't be able to do anything about it." He had watched the show on TV and there had been a few people at the hospital who wanted to see him. However, no one could come in because he was still considered a live wire.
He paused a little and took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was going to say. "So if you and me are going to have to be together for another six months, it's better if we get along."
DJ just sat there, not knowing what to say. She was a little shocked and at the same time, she didn't believe a word he was saying. In her eyes, he was an ass. A stupid ass, too. He could quit the show anytime he wanted to. After he had accused her, she had gone to the Producer and confronted him about it. True enough, he had paid the nurse. All Vincent had to do was to call the police, they would speak to the nurse and she would identify the Producer. DJ had seized the moment and taken to a little good old-fashioned blackmail. In exchange for not telling anyone about the bribing, DJ would get to decide everything that had anything to do with the show. Technically, it was her show. She could do whatever she wanted and if anyone had anything against it, they would think the Producer had done it and they would confront him. He couldn't do much more than deal with whoever had something to say.
Of course, she didn't tell Vincent any of this. If he knew, he would be gone in less than ten seconds.
"I don't believe that you are a nice guy. You'll just going to have to prove it to me." He could almost hear that she smiled as she said it.
"I'm not proving anything!" He wasn't going to be her damn puppy just to prove that he was in fact nicer than what he had appeared to be. Maybe not pleasant and funny but nicer than before at least.
"Calm down... I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm just saying that I have a hard time to believe you. If you're telling the truth, I'll notice it, right?"
He didn't say anything in response.
"Right. Oh, a nurse asked me to give you this, too. She was too afraid to go in here herself..." She took out a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him. "Apparently, some girl had been here to visit you while you were unconscious and she left you this before she left."
It was just a paper folded in half with his name written on one side. The handwriting was small and neat. Vincent opened the paper and read what was written.
'Vincent Grey'
'I have been here for three days now and you show no signs of waking up. If I could, I would stay longer but I have things to do. I don't know if you remember me or not but if you want to hear what I have to say, you should go to Hoenn. I won't be too hard to find.'
'Just take the challenge.'
Notes: This chapter has been delayed for an extremely long time now. During that time, I've lost my will to write. At least to write with a passion. I have also lost my passion for Pokémon.
Without those two, it is very difficult for me to write so that I'm satisfied with it myself. And if I can't even satisfy my own needs, then how can I possibly satisfy the readers needs? I hate to leave the story like this and if I could let all of you into my head and allow you access to what I was planning for Vincent, I would gladly do it.
This might be the last chapter of A Grey Life. If it isn't, the next chapter probably won't see the light of day for a long time... But you never know. Just... don't wait up. Yours truly / Yorun