Author's Notes: *watches writer's block fly out the window, then plop back down into the lawn* -.- aww, damn. So close. *sighs mournfully and fiddles with rose* I hate writer's block! And stress and all that other bad stuff... *sighs* I haaaaate it... and then there's winning first place for my grade level in a writing contest... and miscellaneous whatnot... but that's absolutely no excuse for my lateness! Gomenne!!! Well, okay, so I finished this about a week before the day I posted it... but... *sweatdrop* I wanted to update on Amara's birthday, okay? (I'm even late for that due to internet problems- GOMEN!) And I knew I couldn't get another chapter done in 10 days... *sniffles*
Kurama: *runs by randomly in underwear and a bra*
Random Person: I KNEW IT! HE'S A GIRL!
Well... that could be an excuse. *blinks* That was random. *pokes* Are you really?
Kurama: *comes to a screeching halt* *points to bra* It was the Random Fangirl's idea!
Random Fangirl: *giggle* *glomp*
... *kills Random Fangirl with an ax and glomps Kurama* MINE!!!
Kurama: -_-#
*giggles* Kurama in a bra! Kurama in a bra! Mwehehehe...................
Madame Arrow Foxfire: You're confused because the chapter was uploaded incorrectly, right? Well, I e-mailed you about it, and it's fixed now, just in case you haven't noticed. Anyhow... yeah. *pokes you* What about your answer to the mirror sphere question? I'm not getting any decent remarks or theories about it... well, Kiyoshi-neko did offer a bit of evidence that it wouldn't, but my own logic kinda overruled it O-o I hope she's not mad at me. Um... ANYHOO. I delayed that tidbit of info until a few chappies later, since I couldn't remember how I originally wanted to incorporate it. ^^;; Eh... btw, did you get my application for Author Olympics?
HIEIhotsause: ^O^ YEAH!!! RUN FRED RUN!!! *huggles volcanic teddy bears* ^_^ SPLOOSH SPLOOSH! LAVA!!!! [Hiei: *watches a silver mist fly out the window* there goes her sanity...] [Kurama: and my sugar! *eye twitches* She ate my candy!!]
Kitty: Umm... goodies! ^^ *hugs you* YAY! You likey!! ^^ Heh, I personally like this fic myself. It began as a stress-buster, but then I kinda got really deep into Hiei's mind, and now I doodle random scenes and poetic monologues in school... you really didn't think I spend hours out of school working out those deeply philosophical rants, do you? ^^;; Nah. Me too lazy. Or, I just write it down in the spur of the moment. Anyhoo... yay! I have a fan! ^^ [Hiei: *whacks with a Japanese fan* -.- baka authoress.]
Sky-Pirate-Tat: Computer no baka again? -.- *sighs* oh... so that's why... WORK, DAMNIT!!! *attacks computer with a pointy stick* Also, I know, the last chapter was too happy at the end. I think you'll like this one better.... Oh! And if you have the time, after you read this, read "In the Clatter of a Teardrop."
Roxy-the-Wolf-Demon: Uh... yeah. O-o sure. *to Hiei* OF COURSE YOU'RE INSANE!!
LadyFuzzy: 'bout time, I say. -.- And as for your review for The Peony... it'd help if you actually said some more 'bout the fic instead of just "it was good." -.- PERSON. *pokes* I knoooow where you liiiive!
Killua-san: Yay! ^^ You reviewed again! And yes, that helps. I was pretty sure Hi was fire until I came upon that site... I suppose "swift" and "flying" are similar... maybe one is a mistranslation...? ...Umm... yes, I checked a few more sites and it was "flying"... and yes, that helped! ^^
crazed anime fanatic: Umm... well, you were late reviewing and I was late updating, so it's all fair. ^^Mocha Cocoa: Yay! You reviewed! LEMONS FOREVER!!! *randomly throws lemons at bishounen* ^^ And thank you for the very flattering comment. Why Karasu? Because Karasu's a seductive villain who can't keep his finger offa Kurama's lemon. *throws bits of writer's block at Karasu*
Rachel Marianne: Yes, yes I did. *grins* You can tell, can't ya? And I sent you a picture of Puu. So yeah. ^^
Warnings: darn, this is no fun for this chapter 'cept the burn factor... so I guess... for those who are nice and actually bother to read this, I'll give y'all a spoiler!! Next chapter will contain... lots of murder, lots of blood, lots of dramatic luvable Hiei-apathy, Yukina-hysterical, and it was actually written in school and fell on the floor... and a kid picked it up randomly and started to read it, and I was something like "dun read that!!" and snatched it... yeah. He probably thought I was crazy because his mind is now permanently scarred from the bloodiness. Anyway, the reason many of these things are not in caps are so that the people who just skip the author's notes don't get this little treat. =p
Disclaimer: Me no own. Applies for whole story. There, short 'n' sweet! ^^
I APOLOGIZE BEFOREHAND FOR POSSIBLE SUCKYNESS IN MIDDLE!!! I wrote this chapter randomly, out-of-order, since I really couldn't piece together much in my mind... *sighs* now it's more like a Writer's Tornado... scattering all the thoughts around... gargh... Oh, and I was VERY bored when I wrote some of this, so most of the notes are either pointless rants about bishounen or Japanese translations. If you understand the Japanese and don't bother for hyper relations, skip 'em. The only important one is probably note [4]...
*~*~*Thunderstorm*~*~*
"KUTABARE!!" I screech, pounding my fist again into the tree, breathing hard and smirking in satisfaction as the last peach falls, splattering all its juices across the burnt grass. A growl building in my throat, I burn it and its bearer, leaving another pile of ash on the ground. My growl dwindles down to a sigh as I sit myself down on the wasteland of ash, looking into the smoky sunset, hazy from the smoke in the air. No trees remain, the once-fertile soil now burnt, void of all life... except me.
I clasp a handful of ash in my hand, sprinkling it mindlessly back. The ashes billow back at me, drawing a series of coughs from my throat. A searing pain tingles my lungs. It hurts so good![1] The random sparks of stinging sensations blocks the reality... of the ash before the sunset; the misery before the end.
"Hiei." A gasp rises behind me. "What... what did you do?!"
I smirk, pushing myself out of the pile of dust, ignoring the dancing aches throughout my chest. "Isn't it obvious, Kurama? How else could your orchard turn into ash within a matter of minutes?"
I turn around, catching his gape and the various emotions flickering across his face. His eyes settle to fury. "Hi...ei...! Why...! ...?" I gave a small, sadistic chuckle at his angry eyes, so clear and obvious; not the slightest bit of mist tainting the green orbs laced with rage.
"What? Did I crush your dreams?" I smirk, gathering a handful of ash and flinging it into the air, letting the fine particles flutter down around my face in a hazy veil.
He lets his jaw open and close several times, stuttering incoherent cries before finishing it with a cough from the smoke in the air. "But Hiei...."
"Consider these ashes the incarnate of my misery," I whisper, ignoring his open mouth, letting the black powder slip between my finger and onto the barren land below. "Burnt and useless, vulnerable to the slightest gust of wind... all that is left of a being, consumed by the rage of fire." I toss the rest of the ashes to the side. "Always thrown away."
Kurama gapes at my hands, jaw twitching, "So... you're saying...?"
"I will stand no more of this slavery!" I snap, brushing off the last of the ash.
"What... do you mean? No one's using you now..."
"Koenma." I let the name hang between us.
"What did he do?" Kurama asks, finally breaking the silence. Wind rustles his crimson locks, carrying ashes of dreams across his tense body.[2] I shift my gaze to the sunset, ashen and muddy-colored amongst the dust. A brace of geese fly above the grayed clouds, squawking their eerie cry, spreading it across Reikai, telling all of spirit world that winter is to come. I turn my gaze to the birds for a moment, longing for their freedom... longing to be heard... longing to be set free...
But I am nothing but a slave. "My... punishment for taking the Ningenkai...."
"What is it? Are you to serve... lifelong torture? Death by battle? Execution by-"
"Stop it!" I snap, hurtling ash at his face, though the wind picks it up and blows it away. "You're not helping my situation."
Kurama gives me a solemn look. "Then... what was it?"
I take a deep breath, the pain arching across my lungs again. "Eternal commitment to the militia." Only a weapon in his eyes....
"I... I really can't see how that's so horrible...."
"Can't see much, can you?" I snarl, flaring my Youki, burning ashes that have already been burnt, heat flushing to the air around me. Kurama takes a hesitant step away from me. "He... all he wants from me... all he cares for me is..." my power. The unspoken word floats between us, a spark of understanding finally flickering in his eyes. My source of my torment flares, the very source of my life mocking me, whispering to me that I shall always be another's puppet.... "I'm leaving." I take a step forward.
Kurama jolts, calling, "Matte[3]!"
I turn around, annoyed. "What?"
"Stay... stay just one more day here... I... I can show you that it can get better... please," he begs, "don't go off and become a killer again...!"
"Why do you care?" I turn my back to him again, dust billowing out underneath my step as I move farther away from the captor of my torment.[4] "I'm a killer by nature... no matter where I am...."
He hesitates. "Then... could you-"
"Try to change? Hn, no. I have no desire to, nor could I." I turn to him again, eyes scanning across his face, trying to see the meaning of these questions.
Kurama remains silent, a gust of wind the only sound in the air. "Demo[5]...-"
"Give it up."
"-where are you going to go?"
"Yatte... Yatte... here, there, wherever my heart takes me... a rurouni...."[6]
"Rurouni...?!" he gasps. I suppose he has destructive images fleeting through his mind. Leaving him to his stupor, I turn again, preparing to leave. "Ma... tte-yo..." he croaks behind me. I run, not minding, not caring...
...leaving him behind me...
*~*~*
I dash through hazy underbrush, burning a dusty trail of ash and smoke around me. Panting, I look up, jaw dropping in horror and disbelief as a grand indigo palace rises from the horizon. Cursing myself for mimicking a frightened rabbit, I turn away, reminding myself to walk in a straight line.
To my utmost frustration, there is a cliff in the way. I latch onto a tree, pouncing from branch to branch in the green foliage. With a final jump, I cling to the cliff, heaving myself onto the flat surface. Panting, I push myself off the ground, looking around me. Pink, full peaches hang from fully-grown trees. Memories spring into me. Startled, I burst the glen to flames, hurtling myself off the cliff and landing gracefully on a tree. I blindly run, burning everything in the way. When the trees part...
I find myself in front of the palace again.[7]
"Impossible!" I shriek, taking a few shaky steps back and observing the towers with hazy eyes. I vaguely feel flames on either side of me, the smoke adding to the dizziness in my mind. It... can't be....
I sway slightly, eyes fixed on the structure, finding myself unbelieving of this sight. Flittering my vision across the structure, I catch the sight of Kurama looking at the palace in a daydream-y, yet forlorn, fashion. I guess he's staring off into space and thinking about nightmares within. Thinking. Typical. "Hn."
He seems to jerk slightly at this sound, turning towards me, then relaxing as he sees me, his features almost... happy? His eyes look like they're somewhat relieved, and his mouth is twitched into a small grin, yet something there looks regretful....[8] "So, Hiei... you decided to come back after all."
What can I say? ... "Hn." He gives a small chuckle, eyes suddenly happy for some odd reason that I'll never comprehend. "What's so funny?" He shakes his head, that odd smile still on his face, turning to face the palace. "I didn't come back because I wanted to." He stiffens slightly, but pretends to ignore me. I know he heard me, though. The hesitance in his walk is evident.
In the same suspicious, depressed manner, I walk towards the gate.
*~*~*
Dinner was okay, though I guess I really couldn't and can't comment on how the food tasted, because I didn't have a nibble of any food, ningen or non. The odors failed to entice me, and I found myself doing nothing but randomly rolling my eyes across the random Youkai in the room. I amused myself with my own thoughts, randomly pairing those who I despised and some who I did not hate with a passion.
Correction: "Dinner was okay until I played this game."
Perhaps it was the hair, or how he looked at me; maybe it was the love/hate factor or the peach orchard....
But when I looked at Kurama, trying to pair him with a girl, I couldn't quite find anyone who would fit him. Bored and frustrated with how fickle my mind was, I tried pairing him with the guys. Karasu worked to some extent, and to this I shuddered, but other than various (dead) Youkai, I couldn't find anyone that seemed to interest him, or vice versa.
Or at least, until I realized that those stunning and somewhat dangerous orbs of green fire where staring at me.
It might've been that that scared me... right there, I think I knew what Karasu was leading to....
I take a breath. He's got something for me. Something Karasu wants. And I'm pretty sure he's out to snatch it. ... He can TAKE it. I don't want it, and I don't have any to give Kurama.
But why must Karasu bother me? I don't want it. I don't have much to do with Karasu anymore, anyhow.
I'm lying in bed right now – scared, feeling the sheer intensity of Karasu's iron grip on my soul, threatening to tear my apart – and staring at the figure in the mirror, staring intently at me. I lower my eyelids, and it does too. Karasu's grip tightens, and I force my eyes open. But I'm so tired.... My recent binging might have to do with it, or maybe it's the events that happened today.
But what can I say? I think it's these thoughts that's finally... lulling me... to sleep....
~*~
"Hi... ei..." Karasu seethes. My eye twitches, taking a step back as what appear to be Youki bombs materialize in his hands. "How DARE YOU!" I yelp, creating a small shield with my fire. The bombs explode, creating a cloud of dust, which is quickly swept away.
"Why won't you leave me the hell alone?!" I growl, letting the fire dissipate.
"You know plenty well why," he hisses, approaching me and grabbing a fistful of hair.
I flinch. "Hn!" I raise my body heat and let flames flare around me again, and he drops me calmly. I land gracefully on the floor on my feet, picking myself up and drawing my sword.
"Rest assured, Hiei," he slowly growls, "I know of your little infatuation."
"I HAVE NO EMOTIONS TOWARD HIM!" I scream, raising the fire in frustration. "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH THAT BAKA KITSUNE!"
"Denial is the first step." He approaches me, lifting me by my hair. "And I will destroy you... just like how you destroyed me...
"Stay away from my Youko..."
"I DON'T WANT HIM, DAMNIT!"
I flare fire around me again, burning his trench coat, the fire burning the edges to give it an eerie glow. But this time he doesn't let go, instead, simply looking over my shoulder. "Ah. Kurama."
I squirm, trying to look over my shoulder without pulling all my hair out. "Damn you," I growl, bringing the sword up and slicing Karasu's hand down to the bone. He drops me, cursing and rubbing his hand, but not tearing his gaze from the reincarnation behind me. I whirl quickly around to see Kurama, his eyes blank.
"..."
Karasu's eyes flash, stepping toward Kurama as he reaches behind his head, taking off his mask. "So you've come...."
"What choice have I been given?" he snaps, scowling. He backs away from Karasu, who has a predatory gleam in his eyes.
"None," he whispers. "You are mine."
I'm not sure whether to run out of this nightmare or to help Kurama first... Kurama's looking at me for help, but he doesn't seem too convinced that he'll get it. I look hesitantly behind me, dismayed at finding nothing but darkness- no light at the end of a tunnel, no rainbow vortex....
"Hiei," he mutters, voice trembling, "help."
"Just run, damnit," I growl, lifting myself to my feet.
"I can't move."
"What, too weak to?" But I know that's not the case. Kurama's probably frozen by those finger tricks that Karasu adores.
"I'm serious!" he wails, flinching as Karasu's arms reach down lower. "HIEI!!!"
I sigh, taking a glance behind me again before rising and swinging my sword down at Karasu's neck. It slices through his jugular vein and spinal cord easily. Kurama shudders slightly but sighs, taking out a rose and developing it into a weapon, backing away.
"Relax Kurama," I snap. "He's dead."
"Oh really..." a smooth voice slurs. I gasp in horror as my sword is casually thrown out of Karasu's neck by his own hand, the wound recovering perfectly. He turns his eyes to me and smirks, tossing the sword back at me.
"...how?!"
"This is my induced nightmare," he whispers, "I can do anything I want to you..." I shudder, stepping back as his bomb hits me with full-force. I choke, seeing colors flash briefly before my eyes before a haze of red overtakes my vision, feeling my body hit the imaginary floor. "Pitiful, pitiful Youkai...."
"Stop it!" The shout suddenly rings out. I look up with one eye to see Kurama binding Karasu's arm with his whip, the thorns slowly boring holes in his skin. "He has nothing to do with me! If you want me, you'll have to win me over yourself!"
"Oh really," Karasu whispers. He walks toward Kurama, and that's the last thing I see...
*~*
I awake suddenly, a brilliant flash accompanied by a roar and a howl shaking me from my slumber. I slowly raise my head from my bed, pulling the rest of my [9]chest up, the tingle in my lungs creating a dull throb. I stare at the covers for a few seconds, tracing the wrinkles with my eyes, wondering... simply thinking. The dream... it... I... I can't remember it....
Rain crawls down the windows, marking its glassy perfection with uneven orbs of water. Dark clouds mar the sky. The ground is dashed into a dark pudding of mud and water. The sky is lit up briefly by a spark of illumination. I shudder slightly, swallowing, then taking a few breaths. A vision of Kurama and Karasu flash before me with the next bolt of light; luminous green eyes and icy violet ones uncontrollably blurred with the constant hammering of the stinging water droplets. My breathing becomes haggard, and I stare out into the world beyond, sweat dripping down my face as the vision fades.
~"...I... remember?"~
And a thunderstorm rumbles in the distance...
*~*~*TBC
[1] Heh, "It hurts so GOOD!" Is Mayara Estel's quote, actually. O-o
[2] I have a picture of this!! I have a picture of this!!! Ooo, he looks so kawaii!
[3] Matte = Wait
[4] He means Koenma, not Kurama.
[5] Demo = But
[6] Yatte, yatte = an expression that means you don't really care... kinda like "whatever."
Rurouni = wanderer
[7] Anyone reminded of the quote, "All roads lead to Rome"?
[8] Not really an important note but... I wanna draw that look so badly! *pouts*
[9] Crap. I wanted to add the word 'sexy' in here so much that I almost did. But in this point in the fic, Hiei is not an egotist. Later, in the sequel or somethin', he might be, but not here yet. ^^;;
*~*~*
Endnotes: Umm... at least you get a long chapter to make up for the wait! And Kurama was in a bra! ^^;; Okay, okay, enough with the Kurama-in-a-bra excuse, there really IS no excuse for the lateness! ...Unless my lazy @$$ counts, but oh well....
Hiiyami Nobuyuki (Hiei's Japanese voice actor): *randomly runs in, locking self in closet*
RA, Kurama, Hiei: ??
Rabid Hiei Fangirls: SQUEE!!! *point to closet* He's in THERE!!!
RHF with Flamethrower: LET'S BURN IT DOWN!!!!!!!
R Amythest: NONONONONONO!!!! THIS IS MY RESERVED PIECE OF FANFICTION DOT NET!!! THIS IS MY PROPERTY...
RHF1: *points in a random direction* THERE'S OGATA MEGUMI COSPLAYING AS KURAMA!!!
(If you don't know who Ogata Megumi is by now... DIE!!)
R Amythest: O_O WHERE?! *runs off in random direction*
RHFwF: *sweatdrop* I can't believe that worked... *burns down closet door*
Hiei: *sweatdrops, hiding behind Kurama because he's short* Don't let them see me...
Kurama: Umm... *watches RHF chase Nokuyuki out of R Amythest's fic AKA the burning office* ...good thing there were no Kurama fangirls. *shrugs* Review!
Hiei: Uh... Kurama? *points to a dust cloud let by R Amythest*
Kurama: O_O NOOOOO!!!!!!!
More Musicies*************************
I now have a restriction on my laptop time, which is however long the batteries last me. The expection to this is Saturday, when my mom'll let me use it with the AC power cord thingy. Otherwise... I have to live with only my batteries, and they'll last long without music on... so I didn't listen to music while writing. ^^:; Kinda obvious, ne? But I do have two new songs: "Unmei no Kouro" and "Let it Over" both sung by Ogata Megumi... I think they're Rayearth songs, both for Eagle Vision. *shrugs*
Shameless Self-Advertising****************
"In the Clatter of a Teardrop"
By R Amythest (me!)
Summary: Both Yukina AND Hiei are captured for their tear gems, and Kurama is in the position to save only one. Hiei wants him to save Yukina, but how could he leave his lover behind? And when the decision is made, will it inflict more pain on his loved ones than it will save them? [KxH]
Genre: Tragedy/Romance
Sampler---------------
I peer around the corner, relief swarming into my body, praising my luck, then cursing it as I spot (*) laughing manically, Yukina and Hiei bound to the wall. Negative energy radiates from the handcuffs; the wards evidently zapping their energy. (*) draws out a large dagger, bringing it closer to them.
I know I don't have enough time to save them both... I want to rescue Hiei, my koibito, but would he want to be saved it if meant Yukina were to suffer? Hiei spots me and shakes his head furiously, jerking it in the direction of Yukina. He wants me to save her. But if I did, wouldn't Hiei suffer for eternity? How could I just leave my koi? After everything we've been together, how could I favor a mere friend over my most passionate love?
------------------------
It's not published yet, due to plot holes.
Oh yes, and (*) is the villain... if anyone has an idea for a guy (FROM THE SERIES, no original characters please!) from YYH that would work, please tell me via Review! ----hinthint