Chapter 8: Bye-bye Arwen!
A/N~ Ugh! I'm so not in the mood. Turn off the vacuum, mum! *Takes gun and shoots it* There, now I can sleep. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Even though my father ruined mine...
A/N2~ I'm not really in the mood either. The net won't let me on so I'm typing. Woot! Go me! And yes, it says "Happy Thanksgiving". I told you we wrote (most of) this last semester. BTW this chap is a little bit AU. *coughs* Vanessa *coughs* Well, on with da fic!
Me: *Steals Aragorn's sword (the big one!)* Lmuva esse le Squishy, a leuva namin, a lmura esse le Squishy! (I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Squishy!)
Aragorn: You know, it's times like this I worry about her sanity.
Boromir: Only times like this? *raises eyebrow*
Aragorn: Ok, yeah, there's more times than this. Give me that! *tries to take the sword away*
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! It is MINE!! *cackles*
Sunlight blazed all around me. It was so not cool. I mean, here I am trying to sleep and there's an annoyingly bright light. Wait, come to think of it, where was "here"?
My eyes flicked open. I wasn't in my room. Where was I? Oww...and why did my head hurt so much? Ooo...hangover.
Events from the night before flooded my mind. I even blushed at a few of them. Suddenly, I knew where I was. Go me! Camping...
That's when I realized that I was not the only one in the tent...nor the "bed". The said person threw an arm around me. "You awake?" a manly voice mumbled into my ear.
Mumble, mumble...who did I know that mumbled. Well, Mr. D. Ewww...but fortunately he was not in Middle-Earth. Come on, Vanessa, think!
Aragorn! I turned over and looked the man in the eyes. "No." Ack! White light! White light! I buried my head into his chest. "Turn off the damn light..."
He laughed. Can you believe it, he laughed at me. I mean, just because I'm not a morning person with a hangover doesn't mean you have to laugh...
Twenty minutes or so later we walked together to the central camp area...thing. I was more or less fully awake, although thanks to my hangover I stumbled a few times. I should've known by now that me+mucho alcohol=bad mornings. Oh well.
Seeing as how everyone was already at the central camp, I gathered that Aragorn and I were the last ones to wake. Heh, heh, what does that tell you? (Christy here; see, I told you it was AU. Hehe.)
"'Morning," I mumbled to my friends as I grabbed some bacon from a skillet over the fire. Mmm...bacon: it does a body good.
We sat around the fire in silence aside from the crackling of the fire. And it wasn't until Aragorn, who was next to me, made an odd gurgling noise and an oddly familiar female voice say, "I've got you!" that I was broken from my reverie.
I turned towards my ranger and was surprised to see him being attacked/glomped/raped by none other then Arwen(ch). Oh, hell no, biotch!
"I've got him, I've got him, I've got him!" she repeated in a trance-like state. It looked as if she was doing work for the devil...but I hadn't told her to do anything...
Legolas expertly whipped his bow out in the blink of an eye and had it aimed at the woman. "Let him go, woman," he commanded.
Arwen blinked. "NEVER!" she cried and hugged Aragorn, my HASRWANB, closer.
"Vanessa...Legolas...help!!" he gurgled out.
I turned to Legolas. "Shoot her! Go on, do it!"
"I can't," he sighed. "She hasn't done anything actually threatening."
"She's half-raping the future king of men!!! That's my job! Err...I mean, that's wrong. And besides, he's your friend."
"Fine."
(A/N~ OK, it's 3 am and still writing. Is that not wrong?)
Legolas removed Arwen from Aragorn and did a hairflip. It was tres sexy. Oh, wait, Kitty'll kill me for saying that! I mean, it was a total turn off.
"Aragorn! My love!" Arwen shrieked against Legolas's hold. "You love me! You loooooooove me!"
"Woman, you're my sister (kind of); why would I love you like that?!" he retorted. (A/N~ And, I think, a very good point has been brought!)
Christy jumped up from her place next to that yummy elf, Haldir. Oh, crap, did I just write that?! Heh, I mean, she jumped up from her place next to that sexy, yummy elf Haldir. "Let's kill her!!"
"Sounds like a plan to me!" I quickly agreed. "Wait, how do we do it?"
"These men are up to their ears in weapons, ladies," Daniel said. "I'm sure you can find at least one weapon around here."
"The nerd's right," I said. "Aragorn, show me your sword!" (A/N~ I'm sorry! BreeGirls moment!)
He drew out the long, shiny sword and warily handed it to me. "Don't hurt her too much; she is my sister."
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
*Swish!* *Clang!* *Whoosh!* Mwahaha! I had killed the evil Ranger/King/Not- yet-king raper! Go me!
"Oh...OK, or you can do that." Legolas admitted.
"Shouldn't we say a few words for her" Courtney asked. "I mean, she was royalty after all."
I raised my hand. "Oh! I got something to say!" I cleared my throat. "Arwen Evenstar was evil. She also had some kind of incest fetish... Anyway, she had too much time on screen and stole Glorfindel's part. Therefore, I am glad she is dead."
Silence.
"Uh...amen?"
.~*~.
I sat down near the fire, felling quite happy about what I had accomplished. Now, Aragorn was free of Arwen, and Middle-Earth was rid of that smell that just wouldn't go away. Yay!
It was then that I noticed the new addition to our clique. "Brittany?! What are you doing here?"
"I have no idea," she replied. "I just woke up here. Now, where is that sexy man, Éomer? Are you holding him hostage, Vanessa?"
"What?! I'm totally offended that you would even ask that, Brittany!" I ranted. "OK, well, I lied. Yeah, he's in my closet along with Elladan..."
A/N~ Man, I hate to end it here since it's so short. But I wanna go start my new fic. It's gonna be an Éomer romance, but with a twist! Huh, don't all romance stories have that in their summary... o_O (Tehe!) Anyway, your turn, Christy!
A/N2~ Yeah, she's got Elladan in her closet and I have Elrohir in mine! Hehehe! And yes, I believe practically all romances have that in their summaries! *Giggles* Yea! My turn!
A/N~ Ugh! I'm so not in the mood. Turn off the vacuum, mum! *Takes gun and shoots it* There, now I can sleep. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Even though my father ruined mine...
A/N2~ I'm not really in the mood either. The net won't let me on so I'm typing. Woot! Go me! And yes, it says "Happy Thanksgiving". I told you we wrote (most of) this last semester. BTW this chap is a little bit AU. *coughs* Vanessa *coughs* Well, on with da fic!
Me: *Steals Aragorn's sword (the big one!)* Lmuva esse le Squishy, a leuva namin, a lmura esse le Squishy! (I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Squishy!)
Aragorn: You know, it's times like this I worry about her sanity.
Boromir: Only times like this? *raises eyebrow*
Aragorn: Ok, yeah, there's more times than this. Give me that! *tries to take the sword away*
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! It is MINE!! *cackles*
Sunlight blazed all around me. It was so not cool. I mean, here I am trying to sleep and there's an annoyingly bright light. Wait, come to think of it, where was "here"?
My eyes flicked open. I wasn't in my room. Where was I? Oww...and why did my head hurt so much? Ooo...hangover.
Events from the night before flooded my mind. I even blushed at a few of them. Suddenly, I knew where I was. Go me! Camping...
That's when I realized that I was not the only one in the tent...nor the "bed". The said person threw an arm around me. "You awake?" a manly voice mumbled into my ear.
Mumble, mumble...who did I know that mumbled. Well, Mr. D. Ewww...but fortunately he was not in Middle-Earth. Come on, Vanessa, think!
Aragorn! I turned over and looked the man in the eyes. "No." Ack! White light! White light! I buried my head into his chest. "Turn off the damn light..."
He laughed. Can you believe it, he laughed at me. I mean, just because I'm not a morning person with a hangover doesn't mean you have to laugh...
Twenty minutes or so later we walked together to the central camp area...thing. I was more or less fully awake, although thanks to my hangover I stumbled a few times. I should've known by now that me+mucho alcohol=bad mornings. Oh well.
Seeing as how everyone was already at the central camp, I gathered that Aragorn and I were the last ones to wake. Heh, heh, what does that tell you? (Christy here; see, I told you it was AU. Hehe.)
"'Morning," I mumbled to my friends as I grabbed some bacon from a skillet over the fire. Mmm...bacon: it does a body good.
We sat around the fire in silence aside from the crackling of the fire. And it wasn't until Aragorn, who was next to me, made an odd gurgling noise and an oddly familiar female voice say, "I've got you!" that I was broken from my reverie.
I turned towards my ranger and was surprised to see him being attacked/glomped/raped by none other then Arwen(ch). Oh, hell no, biotch!
"I've got him, I've got him, I've got him!" she repeated in a trance-like state. It looked as if she was doing work for the devil...but I hadn't told her to do anything...
Legolas expertly whipped his bow out in the blink of an eye and had it aimed at the woman. "Let him go, woman," he commanded.
Arwen blinked. "NEVER!" she cried and hugged Aragorn, my HASRWANB, closer.
"Vanessa...Legolas...help!!" he gurgled out.
I turned to Legolas. "Shoot her! Go on, do it!"
"I can't," he sighed. "She hasn't done anything actually threatening."
"She's half-raping the future king of men!!! That's my job! Err...I mean, that's wrong. And besides, he's your friend."
"Fine."
(A/N~ OK, it's 3 am and still writing. Is that not wrong?)
Legolas removed Arwen from Aragorn and did a hairflip. It was tres sexy. Oh, wait, Kitty'll kill me for saying that! I mean, it was a total turn off.
"Aragorn! My love!" Arwen shrieked against Legolas's hold. "You love me! You loooooooove me!"
"Woman, you're my sister (kind of); why would I love you like that?!" he retorted. (A/N~ And, I think, a very good point has been brought!)
Christy jumped up from her place next to that yummy elf, Haldir. Oh, crap, did I just write that?! Heh, I mean, she jumped up from her place next to that sexy, yummy elf Haldir. "Let's kill her!!"
"Sounds like a plan to me!" I quickly agreed. "Wait, how do we do it?"
"These men are up to their ears in weapons, ladies," Daniel said. "I'm sure you can find at least one weapon around here."
"The nerd's right," I said. "Aragorn, show me your sword!" (A/N~ I'm sorry! BreeGirls moment!)
He drew out the long, shiny sword and warily handed it to me. "Don't hurt her too much; she is my sister."
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
*Swish!* *Clang!* *Whoosh!* Mwahaha! I had killed the evil Ranger/King/Not- yet-king raper! Go me!
"Oh...OK, or you can do that." Legolas admitted.
"Shouldn't we say a few words for her" Courtney asked. "I mean, she was royalty after all."
I raised my hand. "Oh! I got something to say!" I cleared my throat. "Arwen Evenstar was evil. She also had some kind of incest fetish... Anyway, she had too much time on screen and stole Glorfindel's part. Therefore, I am glad she is dead."
Silence.
"Uh...amen?"
.~*~.
I sat down near the fire, felling quite happy about what I had accomplished. Now, Aragorn was free of Arwen, and Middle-Earth was rid of that smell that just wouldn't go away. Yay!
It was then that I noticed the new addition to our clique. "Brittany?! What are you doing here?"
"I have no idea," she replied. "I just woke up here. Now, where is that sexy man, Éomer? Are you holding him hostage, Vanessa?"
"What?! I'm totally offended that you would even ask that, Brittany!" I ranted. "OK, well, I lied. Yeah, he's in my closet along with Elladan..."
A/N~ Man, I hate to end it here since it's so short. But I wanna go start my new fic. It's gonna be an Éomer romance, but with a twist! Huh, don't all romance stories have that in their summary... o_O (Tehe!) Anyway, your turn, Christy!
A/N2~ Yeah, she's got Elladan in her closet and I have Elrohir in mine! Hehehe! And yes, I believe practically all romances have that in their summaries! *Giggles* Yea! My turn!