Chapter 13: Bad Elf Pun!
A/N~ Eh, don't have anything to write here, so I'll go ahead and write the disclaimer.
Me: I'm not feeling too good today so just do the disclaimer.
Aragorn: Why? If you're not feeling good you can't force us to do anything!
Me: I'll give you cookies.
Boromir: *excited* Cookies? They own nothing! OK, can I have the cookies now?
Aragorn: *poutz* No fair! I wanted the cookies!
Me: Le Sigh. You can both have cookies! *throws them each a package of Chips Ahoy (which we don't own either)*
"Vanessa," I sighed. "This is getting ridiculous."
She stopped walking and glared at me. "I didn't tell you what to do when you and Haldir were fighting!"
"That's cuz I stormed of before anyone could come near me," I pointed out.
"True," she agreed. "But Aragorn's being a bastard. I said I was sorry, there's nothing else I can do! I even suggested getting it reforged again. I mean, it worked once, why can't it work again?"
I shrugged. "But are you sure you wanna do this?"
"Eh. Daniel's the only male that is available that I don't puke at the thought of, isn't already being crushed on (Boromir), and isn't too old (Jack)."
Vanessa was wearing a very low-cut, revealing dress and was planning on "making Aragorn jealous". She had already arranged for Sam (Carter) to sit in her spot next to Aragorn (Sam readily agreed so she could talk to Boromir) and was all set to sit next to Daniel.
We walked in and sat down Vanessa purposely sitting extremely close to Daniel. I rolled my eyes and started talking to Haldir and my friends. It was rather hard to concentrate on our conversation as Vanessa and Aragorn kept sending glares at each other and Vanessa was flirting with Daniel (or trying to; he was wary of us all after the incident with Legolas threatening with the arrow and me kissing him. Poor guy.) making Aragorn send death glares at Daniel.
"All right! Enough of this shit!" I yelled, fed up with all the 'love' circulating the room. (Can you tell I'm not a happy burrito right now?) I grabbed Vanessa by the arm. "Haldir, Boromir, someone, grab Heir Boi and come on!"
I dragged Vanessa down the hall to an empty bedroom and pushed her inside, Haldir pushing Aragorn in afterwards.
"Now you two are to stay in there until you work this out! Do you understand?!"
"Yes," Vanessa said sulking in the corner while Aragorn just nodded.
"Here you go," Kitty said running up and handing Haldir and Legolas their bows and quivers while I closed the door.
"Make sure they don't come out until they've made up boys," I instructed.
.~*~.
Vanessa and Aragorn stared at each other for a while doing nothing but glaring. When Vanessa thought that everyone had left, she walked to the door and silently opened it. Instead of an empty hallway she found two elves standing in the hall with arrows pointed at the door.
"Damn," she muttered, shutting the door and sitting down in a nearby chair. She glared at Aragorn. "Well, apologize so we can leave." She waited a second. "Anytime now!"
"Lilie n'vanima ar'lle atara lanneina [You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny]," he replied.
"Alright! I have no idea what the hell you just said but I don't think it's an apology!" she screamed at him. "I wanna get the hell outta here so apologize so we can leave"
"Auta miqula orqu [Go kiss an orc]!" (Nessa says "OK! *stalks Lurtz*" Typical Nessie! *giggles*)
"Oh, hell naw! You did not just call me an orc!" she screamed and ran over and slapped Aragorn hard in the face, leaving a bright red handprint. He grabbed her arm, but instead of striking bad, kissed her passionately. Vanessa was surprised at first but decided, "Why the heck not?" and returned the kiss.
.~*~.
"OK, I think we can leave now," Haldir said looking at Legolas.
"I agree, mellonamin [my friend]," Legolas replied and the two quickly left to find the rest of us. (A/N~ Merry Christmas Nessa! ^.~)
.~*~.
"All better?" I asked raising an eyebrow as Vanessa and Aragorn walked into the room.
"Yeah," Vanessa replied, running her fingers through her very messed up hair. In fact, both Strider and Nessa looked rather rumpled; hair was everywhere and clothes were extremely wrinkled.
"Aye, everything is indeed better," Aragorn mumbled as Vanessa sat on his lap.
I rolled my eyes as Vanessa winked at me.
"We could hear," Legolas commented dryly.
"Sucks to be you," Jack retorted smiling.
"Silence foolish mortal," Kitty joked.
"Hey!" I cried. "That's my line!"
"Aragorn, I'm 'tired'," Vanessa said leaning her head against his shoulder acting innocent. "Let's go to bed."
"Why does Aragorn need to go?" Boromir asked suspiciously, looking up from his conversation with a certain blonde major.
"Because I'll get lost on the way to our room," Vanessa replied simply.
"'Our room'? Aragorn, you know that it is not proper for the King--"
"I will decide what is proper for me and not proper for me, thank you," Aragorn replied. "I believe Aragorn, son of Arathorn, is King and not Boromir, son of Denethor, therefore I will decide what I can and can't do."
"Score- Aragorn: 1, Boromir: 0!!" I whispered to Haldir who laughed and kissed me.
"Yes, I believe we will retire now, Vanessa," Aragorn replied to her suggestion.
"Goodie!" Vanessa said, feigning a yawn and grinning at me. "Cuz I'm soooo 'tired'. I don't know if I'll make it back to the room."
I shook my head. "Just go already!" I said throwing one of my pillows at her. (Yes, we were all hanging out in Haldir's and my room. I forgot to mention that. Oops!) She giggled as she and Aragorn disappeared from sight. I sighed and leaned back against Haldir, fighting a (real) yawn.
"We should probably go see little Jack," Kitty told Legolas. "We haven't checked on him in a while. I'm sure that nurse could use a break."
Legolas nodded. "Farewell!" he cried I go to find the son!"
"For crying out loud!" I said, mock-exasperated. "Kitty you've rubbed off on him, too much! He's making bad puns now too!" (A/N~ I was reading FotR last week and Legolas says on Caradhas, "Farewell! I go to find the Sun!" and I couldn't resist; sorry!) Kitty just laughed and left with her husband.
One by one, occasionally two by two, everyone left, allowing me to finally sleep and Haldir to do whatever it is elves do (rest? Sleep? Kel'noreem?)
A/N~ Can you tell I'm tired now? *Yawns* Sleep...where are you? Not here obviously; it's 2:25 in the morning and I wrote cuz I can't sleep. Y'know, I'm really spoiling Nessie. First I give her the RotK soundtrack for Christmas and now I write a nice chappie for her. See what sleep deprivation does to you? Well, later. Shall try to sleep now. ^.~ Mmm...Haldir...
A/N~ Eh, don't have anything to write here, so I'll go ahead and write the disclaimer.
Me: I'm not feeling too good today so just do the disclaimer.
Aragorn: Why? If you're not feeling good you can't force us to do anything!
Me: I'll give you cookies.
Boromir: *excited* Cookies? They own nothing! OK, can I have the cookies now?
Aragorn: *poutz* No fair! I wanted the cookies!
Me: Le Sigh. You can both have cookies! *throws them each a package of Chips Ahoy (which we don't own either)*
"Vanessa," I sighed. "This is getting ridiculous."
She stopped walking and glared at me. "I didn't tell you what to do when you and Haldir were fighting!"
"That's cuz I stormed of before anyone could come near me," I pointed out.
"True," she agreed. "But Aragorn's being a bastard. I said I was sorry, there's nothing else I can do! I even suggested getting it reforged again. I mean, it worked once, why can't it work again?"
I shrugged. "But are you sure you wanna do this?"
"Eh. Daniel's the only male that is available that I don't puke at the thought of, isn't already being crushed on (Boromir), and isn't too old (Jack)."
Vanessa was wearing a very low-cut, revealing dress and was planning on "making Aragorn jealous". She had already arranged for Sam (Carter) to sit in her spot next to Aragorn (Sam readily agreed so she could talk to Boromir) and was all set to sit next to Daniel.
We walked in and sat down Vanessa purposely sitting extremely close to Daniel. I rolled my eyes and started talking to Haldir and my friends. It was rather hard to concentrate on our conversation as Vanessa and Aragorn kept sending glares at each other and Vanessa was flirting with Daniel (or trying to; he was wary of us all after the incident with Legolas threatening with the arrow and me kissing him. Poor guy.) making Aragorn send death glares at Daniel.
"All right! Enough of this shit!" I yelled, fed up with all the 'love' circulating the room. (Can you tell I'm not a happy burrito right now?) I grabbed Vanessa by the arm. "Haldir, Boromir, someone, grab Heir Boi and come on!"
I dragged Vanessa down the hall to an empty bedroom and pushed her inside, Haldir pushing Aragorn in afterwards.
"Now you two are to stay in there until you work this out! Do you understand?!"
"Yes," Vanessa said sulking in the corner while Aragorn just nodded.
"Here you go," Kitty said running up and handing Haldir and Legolas their bows and quivers while I closed the door.
"Make sure they don't come out until they've made up boys," I instructed.
.~*~.
Vanessa and Aragorn stared at each other for a while doing nothing but glaring. When Vanessa thought that everyone had left, she walked to the door and silently opened it. Instead of an empty hallway she found two elves standing in the hall with arrows pointed at the door.
"Damn," she muttered, shutting the door and sitting down in a nearby chair. She glared at Aragorn. "Well, apologize so we can leave." She waited a second. "Anytime now!"
"Lilie n'vanima ar'lle atara lanneina [You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny]," he replied.
"Alright! I have no idea what the hell you just said but I don't think it's an apology!" she screamed at him. "I wanna get the hell outta here so apologize so we can leave"
"Auta miqula orqu [Go kiss an orc]!" (Nessa says "OK! *stalks Lurtz*" Typical Nessie! *giggles*)
"Oh, hell naw! You did not just call me an orc!" she screamed and ran over and slapped Aragorn hard in the face, leaving a bright red handprint. He grabbed her arm, but instead of striking bad, kissed her passionately. Vanessa was surprised at first but decided, "Why the heck not?" and returned the kiss.
.~*~.
"OK, I think we can leave now," Haldir said looking at Legolas.
"I agree, mellonamin [my friend]," Legolas replied and the two quickly left to find the rest of us. (A/N~ Merry Christmas Nessa! ^.~)
.~*~.
"All better?" I asked raising an eyebrow as Vanessa and Aragorn walked into the room.
"Yeah," Vanessa replied, running her fingers through her very messed up hair. In fact, both Strider and Nessa looked rather rumpled; hair was everywhere and clothes were extremely wrinkled.
"Aye, everything is indeed better," Aragorn mumbled as Vanessa sat on his lap.
I rolled my eyes as Vanessa winked at me.
"We could hear," Legolas commented dryly.
"Sucks to be you," Jack retorted smiling.
"Silence foolish mortal," Kitty joked.
"Hey!" I cried. "That's my line!"
"Aragorn, I'm 'tired'," Vanessa said leaning her head against his shoulder acting innocent. "Let's go to bed."
"Why does Aragorn need to go?" Boromir asked suspiciously, looking up from his conversation with a certain blonde major.
"Because I'll get lost on the way to our room," Vanessa replied simply.
"'Our room'? Aragorn, you know that it is not proper for the King--"
"I will decide what is proper for me and not proper for me, thank you," Aragorn replied. "I believe Aragorn, son of Arathorn, is King and not Boromir, son of Denethor, therefore I will decide what I can and can't do."
"Score- Aragorn: 1, Boromir: 0!!" I whispered to Haldir who laughed and kissed me.
"Yes, I believe we will retire now, Vanessa," Aragorn replied to her suggestion.
"Goodie!" Vanessa said, feigning a yawn and grinning at me. "Cuz I'm soooo 'tired'. I don't know if I'll make it back to the room."
I shook my head. "Just go already!" I said throwing one of my pillows at her. (Yes, we were all hanging out in Haldir's and my room. I forgot to mention that. Oops!) She giggled as she and Aragorn disappeared from sight. I sighed and leaned back against Haldir, fighting a (real) yawn.
"We should probably go see little Jack," Kitty told Legolas. "We haven't checked on him in a while. I'm sure that nurse could use a break."
Legolas nodded. "Farewell!" he cried I go to find the son!"
"For crying out loud!" I said, mock-exasperated. "Kitty you've rubbed off on him, too much! He's making bad puns now too!" (A/N~ I was reading FotR last week and Legolas says on Caradhas, "Farewell! I go to find the Sun!" and I couldn't resist; sorry!) Kitty just laughed and left with her husband.
One by one, occasionally two by two, everyone left, allowing me to finally sleep and Haldir to do whatever it is elves do (rest? Sleep? Kel'noreem?)
A/N~ Can you tell I'm tired now? *Yawns* Sleep...where are you? Not here obviously; it's 2:25 in the morning and I wrote cuz I can't sleep. Y'know, I'm really spoiling Nessie. First I give her the RotK soundtrack for Christmas and now I write a nice chappie for her. See what sleep deprivation does to you? Well, later. Shall try to sleep now. ^.~ Mmm...Haldir...