A/N:  Not dead yet….

Chapter 13: Cravings

            Sara sat at her desk, absentmindedly tapping her pen against her leg and staring out the window at the snow that had finally decided to blanket the city.  'She's been sitting this way for the past hour' thought Jake peering over at her from behind the case file he held in front of him.  "Any luck?" he asked.  "…Pez?"

            She looked up at him slowly, temporarily pulled from her trance.  Staring at the computer files in front of her she shook her head.  "No not yet."  She'd been looking through the police files for a match on Genesis, so far without any luck.  Sara rubbed her eyes and picked up her half empty coffee cup.  She wasn't really surprised, Genesis wasn't your general thug.  There was a definite method to his madness and unfortunately she was at the center of it.  She grimaced as the cold coffee pushed past her lips.  "I'm going on a coffee run, you want anything?"

            "Well actually…"

            "Normal?"

            "A skinny caramel extra whip machiatto isn't normal?"

            "Geez McCarty if you have to ask?"

            "Fine, fine whatever" he laughed.  "Just don't forget the sugar."

            Crossing the crowded police room she felt the stares on her back.  She put on her sunglasses as she headed outside,  it wasn't anything new.  "I don't need their friendship" she thought bitterly, "just their damn respect."  She gritted her teeth against the sentiment, settling into the familiar aura of anger and resentment she found so comfortable.  Her cell phone rang as she got to the bottom of the front steps, and she answered it with a little more than her usual abruptness.  "Ya talk to me."

            "Good afternoon Sara."  Sara slowly scanned the area for her 6ft black clad shadow.

            "What up Nottingham?"

            "You seem a little tense my lady, are those techniques we practiced not working?"

            "They're working just fine Ian" she sighed, massaging her left temple and wishing he'd just get to the point. "….except for that first one," she added quietly "maybe I should schedule another lesson."  She instantly heard the crunch of snow behind her and put her phone back into her pocket.  "I thought that might speed this up a bit," she said plainly, turning around to face him.  "What do you want?"  He stood in front of her in his trademark black on black, a wool cap covering his head and the weather finally giving purpose to his ever present gloves.  His face was a little flushed from the cold, or perhaps from her comment and his eyes as usual stared intensely into hers.  'Perhaps this would have been better over the phone' she thought to herself, flashing briefly back to their kiss.  Trying to keep her eyes off of his lips she noticed a flash of blue beneath the collar of his coat.  "And what's this?" she asked. Reaching in and tugging on the soft fabric.  The top of his coat unzipped and the end of a bright blue scarf was caught by the wind.  "I didn't know blue was an acceptable colour for a henchman."

            "It was a gift" said Ian, "…from our cook."  Sara noted his embarrassment.  "Apparently she dislikes my penchant for black even less then you do."

            Sara tried to hide her smile and tucked the wayward scarf back into his coat. She did up the zipper allowing her hand to linger for a moment against his chest before quickly shoving her hands back into her pockets.  'It was strange,' she thought, 'how the man who so often sparked anger in her now so easily made it disappear.' They stared at each other silently for a moment each lost in their own thoughts.

            "I have something for you," Ian said finally.  As he reached into his pocket, his phone rang.  "Nottingham" he said answering it immediately.

            "And how is the wielder this fine afternoon?"

            "Enigmatic…as usual," answered Ian.

            Kenneth laughed. "I would expect nothing less.  Have you given her the file?"

            "I was just about to" said Ian pulling the disc from his pocket and placing it in Sara's hand.

            "Excellent, tell her that I hope it will be accepted in the spirit in which it was given."  Ian hung up the phone and looked over at Sara who stared down at the disc.

            "What's this?"

            "A gift from Mr. Irons."

            "Then I don't want it," she said giving it back to him.  "He's already given me the gift of a lifetime," she muttered, subconsciously pulling her coat sleeve down over the witchblade.  Turning away from him she added "…a gift that keeps on giving."

            "Sara" said Ian softly.  "There is no subterfuge here, it is simply information that I have gathered about Genesis."

            Sara turned back towards him, feeling a surge of emotion at the earnest look on his face.  'Damn you Nottingham' she thought, averting her eyes from his gaze and praying he wouldn't guess why.  "Nothing is ever simple with Kenneth Irons" she said, taking the disc from his outstretched hand.  As she began to walk away from him she mumbled quietly "and they are becoming increasingly more complicated with you."

            He contemplated her last comment as he watched her walk away from him.  It would be another full minute before he allowed himself to drag his eyes away from her and return to his vehicle.

            Sara was looking out the window again, when Jake came back into the office.  "You're back" he said, dropping a load of files on his desk.

            'It had been a while,' she thought to herself, unaware of Jakes entrance.  'Longer than she'd care to admit actually…and under normal circumstances she was sure she would never have found herself attracted to Ian Nottingham.   The very notion of her thinking about him in…that way…it was absurd.'

            "Hello?"  Jake waved at her, tapping on an imaginary mike.  "Is this thing on?"

            The witchblade heated up on her wrist as if to chastise her for lying to herself.  'That way was exactly how she had been thinking of him since he had kissed her a few nights ago.  That way at the gym, that way in his car, in her bed, on the couch, bent over the dinning table…

            Jake took the lid off of his coffee and took a sip, frowning as the hot liquid entered his mouth.  "You forgot the sugar Sara," he wined.

            "What?"

            "The sugar" Jake said, opening his drawer to look for extra packets.

            "Oh sorry…I forgot."

            Jake looked over at her again, wondering what had Pez so distracted.  He came over to stand in front of her, and noticed she was a little flushed.  "You alright…Sara?"

            She smiled nervously and stared into her coffee.  "Ya…I'm fine."

            He didn't believe her, the only time Sara wouldn't look you in the eye was when there was something in hers she didn't want you to see.   That was the thing about Sara, most of the time she wore her emotions on her sleeve.  He placed a hand on her shoulder.  "You know that if there's something…I mean if you want to talk…I'm here for you."  Sara unsure of the steadiness of her voice, nodded.  He smiled down at her and softly ran a finger across her cheek. 

            She knew it was going to happen, even before he did.  Before his eyes darkened and his breath held still, before his hand went slowly from her cheek to the back of her neck and his thigh pressed firmly against hers.  And while she knew it would never work, that she would never feel about him the way he felt about her, she didn't stop him or pull away.  She needed the distraction, from what or more correctly who… her body really wanted. 

            She felt him smile against her lips and pulled away from him a little.  "What?" she asked softly, curious at his amusement. 

            "You're even better than the sugar Sara" said Jake giving her a crooked smile.  Sara groaned and closed her eyes. 

            "Please Jake" she said raising her lips towards his.  "Don't talk…"

            Perched in his familiar spot across from the station, Ian watched Sara and the rookie embrace.  He knew he shouldn't be here, he had errands to run and it was a veritable sin to keep Irons waiting, but he couldn't get Sara's comment out of his mind.   Sighing inwardly he stepped down from the ledge and walked towards the fire escape.  Whatever complications Sara believed existed between him and herself, she had quite obviously found the solution.

            Later that evening Sara sat on the floor of her living room cross-legged, eyes closed, and breathing rhythmically.  They were not easy, the techniques Ian had shown her.  She found it difficult to completely clear her mind, to think of absolutely nothing at all.  Especially since today she had made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. 

            "Kissing Jake", she groaned, 'someone must have slipped something in her coffee'. She couldn't believe it had happened, 'and at the station no less, if someone had walked in…'  She placed her head in her hands and stared at one of the candles in front of her.  He had already called her twice since she had gotten home, 'thank God for caller ID'.   'How was she going to explain to him, that she had been temporarily insane.  That he was her partner and that she liked him as such and nothing more'.  She slowly sat up straight again and tried to concentrate, gradually slowing her breathing.  It was all about control Ian had told her, she needed to stay in control to prevent the sleepwalking and missing time…'God if she had only exercised some self control this afternoon.'  She sighed with exasperation, this just wasn't going to work tonight. 

            She felt his presence even before she heard the rustle of his robes behind her.  "Any chance that if I just ignore you, you'll go away?"

            Genesis came around to the front of her and sat down.  "I am afraid not."

            Sara watched with fascination as the candles between them seemed to lower in his presence.

            Sara closed her eyes, "That's too bad."

            "We are eternally linked…"

            "No" said Sara, sounding more as if she was trying to convince herself, than him.  "We are not."

            "Through the thing that makes us different" he continued.  "Through the will of the Bright Lady."

            Sara opened her eyes.  "What bright lady?"

            Genesis smiled.  "She who has forgiven our weaknesses and rewarded our strengths.  She who has chosen us to usher in the new age."

            "Your insane."

            "Says the vigilant non-believer."

            "Actually more like says your Doctor… Jeff."

            Genesis stopped.

            "Mm Hmm" said Sara gaining confidence with every word.  "You see, I know a bit about you as well. Jeff Davies born 1971 in Istanbul, to an American father and a Turkish mother who unfortunately did not survive the delivery.  You and your father lived all over Europe until you were recruited by a secret American military program at the age of 18 and relocated to the Sudan.

            Genesis had closed his eyes, there was no emotion visible on his face.

            "Should I go on to list your commendations, or talk about your wife and son."

            Genesis opened his eyes and gave Sara a pained smile.  "None of that matters now…everything changed the moment my true destiny was revealed to me."

            "Revenge?"

            "Justice!" spat Genesis.  "For a world that deserves none.  Surely you can see that."

            "Your kidding right?  I'm a cop, justice is my livelihood."

            Genesis looked down at the witchblade on her wrist.  "It is much more than that wielder."  His voice changed and softened.  "I can help you Sara" he pleaded.  "I have never lied to you."

            "So you say" she said angrily.  "You have only tried to manipulate me into serving your insane notions of…

            "I have worshiped you Sara" Genesis interrupted, "tried to guide you to your true path…I have killed in your name, darkened the light in the eyes of those who did not accept your destiny, no one on earth understands you better than me.  You cannot dissipate the hunger and lust for power and glory with meditation."  He leaned in closer to her, and Sara changed the blade into the gloved sword, holding it out at his neck. "The blade is no ordinary weapon Sara and it has chosen you.  You cannot put it into a drawer or hang it on a wall and forget about it.  It must feed" he told her as he began to fade away.  "Feed the blade Sara, or it will feed off of you."

            Sara blinked and glanced around the room, glad that he was gone.  It was a neat trick she acknowledged, the fading in and out bit. "He must be great at parties" she said to no one in particular.  Covering her face with her hands she silently tried to will herself to laugh rather than cry. The blade changed back into it's bracelet form and the red jewel began to pulse softly.  Genesis's last words echoed in her ears "Feed the blade Sara, or it will feed off of you."