Disclaimer: Marvel's, not mine.
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"Well there was a time when you let me know, What's really going on below, But now you never show that to me do ya."(2)
Remy glanced from his solo position in the middle of the room over towards, what this so-called Erik the Red, was calling a jury box. How had he managed to capture so many of them? Rogue, Angel, Beast, Psylocke, Phoenix, Cyclops. He gave thanks for small favors that Storm was not here to witness this. He knew what was about to happen.
He vaguely watched his teammates defend him, without knowing yet what he had done.
"Because whatever else Gambit may be Ð and we've all had our doubts about him in the past Ð he's an X-Men first, and one doesn't let another fall." (1)
It was the bare fact that it was Angel saying this that made Remy cringe. The X-Men were about to discover that the Gambit they thought they knew was composed of lies, one nearly solid collection of dishonesty. He could never show them, never tell them what he really was, what he had been through in life. They had only known the outline of his life, and now, his last lies were to be revealed.
He heard Erik begin to end his ramblings. "But enough speculation. Will you confess to these people the crime you have committed?" (1)
"Which one" (1) Gambit snorted.
"We speak here not of your petty larcenies, Remy LeBeau. We speak of your blood betrayal, the blackest moment in your long line of blasphemous actions." (1)
"If you mean me dealin' with Sinister, then sure. I'll admit it. I worked for him." (1). Dere was no point lyin' to dese people anymore. So, I told dem everything. How cold my heart had been back den. How Sinister was de only man I thought could help me, dat I didn' care how evil he might be. I watched my team's eyes widen. I knew each one o'dem was prayin' I had worked for him before I joined dere forces.
"You..you worked for Mr. Sinister? And didn't tell us?" (1) Beast stuttered.
Rogue looked crestfallen, her eyes suddenly filling with the understanding they had lacked the night before. "What?! You were in bed with one of our greatest enemies?! For how long Remy? For how long?!" (1)
"I know it's over, still I cling."(2)
I tried t'get Rogue t'understand. De team suddenly erupted around me, and despite dere anger de defended me still. All except two. Jean and Betsy had dere eyes narrowed, Jean from pure anger, but Betsy with complete recognition. She was about t'ruin everythin', she was about t'break my soul.
Erik was trying to force de information out of me. He wanted me t'tell dem everythin'.
"I..I know what it is." (1)
"Betsy?" (1) Warren muttered, looking surprised.
"The prosecution calls Psylocke to testify!' (1)
"I know the names of some of those he assembled - Arclight, Scrambler, Scalphunter, Vertigo, Harpoon, Riptide, and Sabertooth." (1)
It was with those names that realization set in. His defense was lost. Most of his teammates were too shocked to say anything. Angel began yelling, but Psylocke had not known everything, and Rogue was called to his side.
She was forced to kiss him, and as her lips grazed his, she whispered she was sorry. And then, the rest of his lies were told. Chaos ensued then, as the X-Men fought to escape the trial that would surely break the team apart. Remy remembered being dragged from his position by Rogue, believing in the moment, despite his broken stature, that maybe, just maybe, she still loved him.
"It's not a cry that you hear at night, It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah." (2)
Rogue flew Remy out of the collapsing citadel. He noticed, however, that they were not going the same way as their other teammates. Worry began to etch his face in a semi-understanding. He closed his eyes, hoping he was wrong.
Rogue landed in the snow, shrugging off Remy's clinging form. She left her back facing him, and gently questioned, "How in the hell did ya live with it Remy?
"Rogue, chere, y'should at least look at me to hear my answer," Remy gently prodded. Slowly she did as he requested. She tried to not display emotion, but with eyes like hers it was impossible, and her disappointment shone through.
"Chere
"Stop calling meh that! You lived under our roof while helping with that massacre. We trusted ya Remy! We let ya be part o'the team! You lied to us! Ya lied ta meh Remy. Ah let ya love meh, Ah even let ya fuck meh! What was the point o'it all?
Remy's look turned solemn. What had been the point? He had wanted to forget his past, and he had used her, her and the team, as a way to do it. He didn't deserve their pity.
"Ah don't even know the first thing about ya Remy. Does anyone?
Nope.
"Ah hope ya ain't trying ta get meh ta feel sorry for ya with your silence and your sad eyes.
"M'sorry Rogue.
Rogue walked up to him then, the Queen of Hearts dangling from her hand. Forcefully, she pressed it into Gambit's chest. Her hand lingered there for a few brief moments. "Sorry ain't going ta cut it this time Cajun.
Rogue's communicator blinked then and Beast gently asked where she and Gambit were.
Rogue looked Gambit in the eyes as she replied, "We ain't going back that way Beast. Ah think Ah'm just gonna fly.
"Rogue are you sure that's a
"Save it Beast." Rogue ripped off her communicator, crushing it in her palm.
"Rogue, y'know dat I can't fly back wit y'. I wouldn' survive de cold conditions in de air.
Rogue's hard, stern gaze never faltered. Rogue had removed her hand from his chest, and the card had landed softly in the snow.
"Ah know that Remy.
"Rogue I
"Fend for yourself. You seem to have done a good job of that in the past." (1).
"But..I love you." (1).
"You're honest with the people you love, Gambit. Otherwise, it's a gamble." (1) She rose off the ground then, but Remy no longer had the strength to call or reach out for her. And so, she turned, and without hesitation, flew off into the distance.
He half expected her to come back.
"Well your faith was strong but you needed proof, You saw her bathing on the roof, Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya." (2)
Remy heaved a sigh, oblivious for the moment of the cold snow that surrounded him. Instead he focused on her. Her beauty; the way her white streak fell in just the right places, framing her amazing eyes. He remembered their famous fights, and their famous, but rare, dates. He remembered their first kiss, their first Christmas, the first time they said I love you. He remembered the first time he had seen her. Such complexity; such raw passion, wrapped into one woman.
He bent down to pick up the card her warm hand had laid against his bare chest. He deserved this fate. Smiling, he became grateful he had been able to love her at all. And she had loved him. That was enough for now.
He had betrayed her, and she in turn, had betrayed their love. Tears tried to escape, but his freezing eyelashes would not let them. Besides, the dead did not cry. Laying in the snow, Remy curled himself into a ball. His heart and soul were fast turning back to ice. That night, as the biting wind flew by, Remy gave up, letting his eyelids slowly close, the Queen of Hearts blowing away in the chilly air.
"Maybe there's a God above, But all I've ever learned from love, Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya." (2)
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(1) Uncanny X-Men, issue 350
(2) Lyrics from, once again, Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, a cover to a song of Leonard Cohen's. FF.net wouldn't allow me to italicize anything this time around (although I don't know why, very frustrating), so the song lyrics had to be put in quotation marks.
Notes: When I first read issue 350, I was a little disappointed with Gambit's secret. It didn't seem to be that big of a deal to me, what with Angel having worked for Apocalypse, Rogue for Mystique, and Jean becoming Phoenix. I thought if Gambit had been part of the team during his workings with Sinister, it would have been more of something to be angry with. I also added Jean and Scott into the trial, because I thought more X-Men should witness it.
This story will be continued in a sequel, but I may start a different story before then. We will see how I feel. Thanks again to my reviewers, and sorry ishandahalf, you won't be seeing any mimes or mutes in the next one, although yes, it would be pretty comedic. But, I don't think I'm cut out for comedy.