Title: Arwen Cleans House
Series: The Elf Children
Author: Mayetra
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All things Tolkien belong to his estate; I only borrow them on occasion and always return them in good working order. I write fan fiction solely for my own enjoyment and do not claim any copyright or ownership of his works nor do I have intent to make financial gain. All original concepts and characters are from my own twisted plot bunnies and remain my property.
Timeline: Early Third Age - AU - After Haldir's Affliction
Author's Note: Since there are no dates of birth for Legolas, Haldir, Orophin, or Rúmil, I am taking poetic license with their ages. Also, Elladan and Elrohir are 102 years older than Arwen. Elves reach adulthood between 50 and 100 years. For purposes of this story, I have decided to make 100 the age of adulthood and I am making Arwen only 30 years younger than her brothers. The children's ages are as follows: Haldir - 62, Elladan and Elrohir - 60, Rúmil - 40, Leggy - 30, Arwen - 30, and Orophin - 20.
Summary: Arwen decides to surprise the boys by cleaning their clubhouse. She gets a little help from her mother and grandmother! Won't Haldir be surprised!
*~*
61 Hrívë* 170 T.A. - Caras Galadon, Lórien
Arwen looked around the filthy clubhouse and shuddered. She couldn't fathom how the boys could stand to play in the disgusting talan. She hadn't really gotten a good look at it until now. She had been too busy trying to help Haldir the first time she was here. The boys had all gone fishing with Celeborn, including young Orophin, and Arwen had decided to surprise them by cleaning and decorating their clubhouse. As she looked around at the overwhelming task in front of her, she felt like crying.
Dust covered every conceivable surface. The once silver walls were a dark, dingy gray from years of accumulated dust and neglect. The recessed bookshelves carved into the walls were crammed with junk. Broken bits of furniture lay scattered about the room. She didn't understand why they didn't throw the pieces away and use some of the perfectly good furniture in the city storehouses. She was sure that her grandmother would be more than happy to let them have a few pieces.
There was an assortment of odds and ends scattered about the room. In one corner, there was a pile of broken pieces of pottery and in another, a large metal pot containing an assortment of dead bugs. Old, dingy gray curtains hung rotting from curtain rods above the openings to the front and side balconies, and between the two other rooms in the talan.
She shuddered to think of what those two rooms held. She remembered that the kitchen was a complete disaster. There was a layer of soot in the stove, three inches thick. She would never be able to do this by herself. She decided to ask her grandmother for help.
*~*
Galadriel looked up from her needlepoint as Arwen entered the solar. "Hello, child. What are you doing this fine day?"
"Hello, Grandmother. I was going to try and surprise the boys with a present, but I fear that I can not do it alone."
Galadriel was curious. "What did you have planned?"
"I was going to clean and decorate their clubhouse. It is so nasty, and they need a female's touch about the place."
Galadriel resisted the urge to laugh out loud. She doubted the boys would appreciate Arwen's kind sentiment. She started to tell her granddaughter as much, when a thought crossed her mind. She had sentenced Celeborn and Haldir to chores. The twins were supposed to help their mother in the garden, and Rúmil had blown off his chores at home. Legolas was staying with them for a while, since Mirkwood was such a dangerous place and was supposed to check with Celebrían before going anywhere.
Her poor daughter had spent two hours frantically looking for the boy. They had all sneaked off to go fishing. The only reason Galadriel knew this was because one of the guards had seen them leave earlier that morning. She would deal with Celeborn later, but felt Arwen's little gesture was the perfect revenge on the rest of them.
None of them would dare seek retribution from Arwen if Galadriel, herself, got involved. This was too enchanting an opportunity to pass up.
"That is a wonderful idea, Arwen. I will help you in any way I can." She set her needlepoint aside and stood. "Let us go, so I may see this pigsty for myself."
Arwen accepted her grandmother's hand and led her from the room.
*~*
Celeborn and the boys sat along the banks of a small stream beyond the walls of the great city. Celeborn had shunned his more dignified robes in favor of a pair of brown leggings and a forest green tunic. The boys were dressed in similar attire. The sun shined down on the merry party. The air was tepid, for Galadriel did not allow winter to hold sway in the Golden Wood.
"This is the life," Celeborn sighed as he baited the hook on Orophin's fishing pole.
"Sure is," Haldir agreed.
"No stupid girls around to tell us what to do," Elladan added.
"That is a blessing right there," Celeborn agreed with his eldest grandchild. He loved his wife dearly, but sometimes she drove him crazy.
Orophin wisely kept his mouth shut. He was still under the belief that his mother had super hearing and didn't want to get in trouble. He accepted the fishing pole from Celeborn and handed him Hwest's* pole.
"I do not know why you insist on having a fishing pole for that stupid toy," Haldir grumbled. "He cannot use it."
Celeborn reached over and lightly smacked Haldir on the back of his head. "Hush, boy. You will treat your brother with respect, or I will turn you over my knee. Now apologize."
Haldir nodded. "Sorry, Orophin. I am sure Hwest would like to fish as well," he muttered. He knew better than to disobey Celeborn. His glib tongue could not sway the Elf-lord, and Celeborn never made idle threats.
Orophin smiled gratefully at his hero and was rewarded with a wink.
Celeborn carefully baited Hwest's hook and handed the pole back to the little Elfling. He had come to love Orophin dearly and often wished the little Elf were his son.
"There you are."
Celeborn looked up at the deep voice and smiled. Elrond stood behind them. He was dressed in attire similar to Celeborn's and carried a fishing pole.
"Shame on you, Celeborn. Sneaking off to go fishing and not telling me," Elrond admonished his father-in-law.
"Do not blame me for your being left behind. I cannot help it if my daughter watches you closer than cat watches her kits." Celeborn shot back at the dark-haired Elf.
Elrond rolled his eyes. "You should have warned me about that, before I married her."
Celeborn snorted. "You are not married to Galadriel, so do not presume to tell me what I should and should not have done. Now cease your whining. You are scaring off the fish."
Elrond dropped down beside his younger son and baited his hook.
Soon they were all sitting quietly, bonding in that strange and magical way males do.
*~*
Galadriel survey the talan. This would take a miracle and more hands than just hers and Arwen's. She shook her head. "We will need more help, I think. Go to your mother and tell her our plans. Have her come here with my handmaidens."
Arwen nodded gleefully and scurried out of the talan.
Before long Celebrían and Galadriel's two handmaidens, Illis and Marille, entered the talan carrying buckets, rags, brooms, and an assortment of cleaning supplies. They had recruited some of the guards to bring in a large cauldron. The guards made several trips and soon had the cauldron filled with nice hot water.
The females rolled up their sleeves and went to work. It took them a good hour just sweep the ceiling, walls and floor clean of dust and move all of the clutter in the rooms out on the balconies. They recruited several of the guards and it still took them three hours to scrub the talan clean of grime from top to bottom.
The exhausted females stood back and surveyed their handiwork. The silver walls, ceiling and floor gleamed once again. The mirror on the wall shined like new. The talan now smelled clean with a hint of jasmine.
"Now, my sweet," Celebrían turned to her daughter. "What did you have planned for the décor?"
Arwen smiled brightly. "I was thinking pink with white lace. Pink is such a lovely color, and it will look nice against the silver walls."
Galadriel and Celebrían exchanged bemused looks. Neither of them could wait to see the boys' faces, when they returned from their little adventure.
Celebrían planned to give her husband an earful when he got back. While she was out searching for Legolas, he had sneaked off as well.
"I think that is a lovely choice," Galadriel cooed. "Shall we go to the storeroom and pick out some nice furniture?"
Arwen nodded. "That would be wonderful!"
*~*
Celeborn and Elrond led the boys back towards Caras Galadon. The sun was low in the western sky, and it would soon be growing dark.
"Do we have to go back?" Orophin asked nervously from his perch in Celeborn's arms.
"Yes, little one." Celeborn answered. He noted the look of fear on the small Elf's face. "What is wrong, Orophin?"
"We are going to be in trouble," Orophin said. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He was desperately trying not to cry, because Haldir would tease him about it. He knew that his mother was going to be very cross with him and his brothers. He suddenly wished he hadn't come fishing.
"Hush, little one," Celeborn murmured. "I shall tell your mother that I Elfnapped you. I shall take the blame, never fear."
Orophin nodded with relief. Lord Celeborn always took care of him.
They hadn't gotten very far, when on of the city guards approached them.
"My Lords," The guard greeted Celeborn and Elrond formally. "The Lady Galadriel requests your presence at the little ones' clubhouse."
"Thank you," Celeborn replied. He and Elrond exchanged nervous glances. They had expected a confrontation, but not at the children's clubhouse.
*~*
They found Galadriel, Celebrían, and Arwen waiting on the front balcony of the talan. All three females had large grins on their faces. Arwen was fairly bubbling with excitement.
"Did you enjoy your day fishing, husband?" Galadriel asked Celeborn in a sweet tone.
Celeborn was instantly on guard. "Yes," he said warily.
Galadriel just smiled.
"What about you, my dear," Celebrían asked Elrond.
"I.it was quite refreshing," Elrond answered. He had a bad feeling.
"Your mother has been looking for you and your brother all day, Haldir. It seems you neglected to tell her your plans for the day. It also seems that you have forgotten that you are still under my edict to help weed the gardens."
Haldir swallowed visibly.
Rúmil went pale.
"I was Elfnapped," Orophin cried. He clutched Hwest tighter to chest and looked up at Celeborn.
Celeborn squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Orophin is not to blame, my dear. I made him come with us."
Galadriel raised one eyebrow at the blatant lie, but said nothing. Orophin was a sweet-tempered young Elf and completely devoted to Celeborn. He would have followed her husband to Sauron's front gate.
"I suppose you three have a good excuse?" Celebrían asked the twins and Legolas.
They suddenly found their shoes very interesting and refused to look her in the eye.
"Well, while you were all out lazing the day away, Arwen has worked very hard on a surprise for you," Celebrían said.
All the boys looked at Arwen in surprise. They had expected to be yelled at and punished, not given a surprise.
"Thank you, Arwen," Haldir said. He sent her a beautiful smile that little up his little face.
"Yes, thank you, Arwen," the other boys echoed.
Elrond and Celeborn exchanged glances once again. Their wives were positively beaming, and this could not bode well.
"I just know you will love it," Arwen gushed. "Mother and Grandmother helped me and deserve credit as well."
The three females stepped aside to reveal the entrance to the talan. A light pink curtain hung across the doorframe, it was edged with white lace.
Haldir made a strange noise and charged past the curtain into the talan. The rest of the boys, except for Orophin, followed suit.
The adults heard a high-pitched keening noise and then a thud. They entered the talan to find Haldir passed out cold on the floor. The twins were holding each other. Legolas was sitting on the floor, muttering. Rúmil's head kept darting about the room as he muttered the word 'pink', over and over again.
The main room of the talan had been completely redecorated. Three panels of pink curtains covered the threshold to the side balcony and to the two other rooms in the talan. Place strategically in front of the side balcony was a white couch and two chairs made of wood and covered with pink cushions. Wood side table were placed between the two chairs and at either end of the couch. They were covered with pink tablecloths trimmed in white lace.
Beyond the suite of furniture stood a large round table with seven chairs placed around it. Pink cushions covered the chairs and the table was covered with a pink tablecloth. A crystal vase of roses stood in the center of the table.
The bookshelves were neatly arranged with little boxes that held the boys' treasures. Galadriel refused to allow Arwen to throw away what she thought was junk. Beautiful tapestries showing Elves walking hand-and-hand through gardens where hung from the walls.
It was the perfect clubhouse - if you were a girl.
*~*
Haldir sat between Rúmil and Elladan pulling weeds. Elrohir and Legolas were pulling weeds three flowerbeds away from them. Celeborn and Elrond were busy trimming some nearby hedges. Orophin followed behind the two adult Elves. He was picking up the dropped trimmings and stuffing them into a large bag.
It would be another two weeks, before they were free of Galadriel's punishment. It would be a lot longer before they were free of the hideous décor of their clubhouse. The Lady had warned them that if they did anything to hurt Arwen's feelings, she would have them mucking out the stables, until all the Elves were recalled to Valinor.
Sometimes, it was tough being a male in a female's world. Haldir and the boys wondered if they would ever survive it.
The End
Series: The Elf Children
Author: Mayetra
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All things Tolkien belong to his estate; I only borrow them on occasion and always return them in good working order. I write fan fiction solely for my own enjoyment and do not claim any copyright or ownership of his works nor do I have intent to make financial gain. All original concepts and characters are from my own twisted plot bunnies and remain my property.
Timeline: Early Third Age - AU - After Haldir's Affliction
Author's Note: Since there are no dates of birth for Legolas, Haldir, Orophin, or Rúmil, I am taking poetic license with their ages. Also, Elladan and Elrohir are 102 years older than Arwen. Elves reach adulthood between 50 and 100 years. For purposes of this story, I have decided to make 100 the age of adulthood and I am making Arwen only 30 years younger than her brothers. The children's ages are as follows: Haldir - 62, Elladan and Elrohir - 60, Rúmil - 40, Leggy - 30, Arwen - 30, and Orophin - 20.
Summary: Arwen decides to surprise the boys by cleaning their clubhouse. She gets a little help from her mother and grandmother! Won't Haldir be surprised!
*~*
61 Hrívë* 170 T.A. - Caras Galadon, Lórien
Arwen looked around the filthy clubhouse and shuddered. She couldn't fathom how the boys could stand to play in the disgusting talan. She hadn't really gotten a good look at it until now. She had been too busy trying to help Haldir the first time she was here. The boys had all gone fishing with Celeborn, including young Orophin, and Arwen had decided to surprise them by cleaning and decorating their clubhouse. As she looked around at the overwhelming task in front of her, she felt like crying.
Dust covered every conceivable surface. The once silver walls were a dark, dingy gray from years of accumulated dust and neglect. The recessed bookshelves carved into the walls were crammed with junk. Broken bits of furniture lay scattered about the room. She didn't understand why they didn't throw the pieces away and use some of the perfectly good furniture in the city storehouses. She was sure that her grandmother would be more than happy to let them have a few pieces.
There was an assortment of odds and ends scattered about the room. In one corner, there was a pile of broken pieces of pottery and in another, a large metal pot containing an assortment of dead bugs. Old, dingy gray curtains hung rotting from curtain rods above the openings to the front and side balconies, and between the two other rooms in the talan.
She shuddered to think of what those two rooms held. She remembered that the kitchen was a complete disaster. There was a layer of soot in the stove, three inches thick. She would never be able to do this by herself. She decided to ask her grandmother for help.
*~*
Galadriel looked up from her needlepoint as Arwen entered the solar. "Hello, child. What are you doing this fine day?"
"Hello, Grandmother. I was going to try and surprise the boys with a present, but I fear that I can not do it alone."
Galadriel was curious. "What did you have planned?"
"I was going to clean and decorate their clubhouse. It is so nasty, and they need a female's touch about the place."
Galadriel resisted the urge to laugh out loud. She doubted the boys would appreciate Arwen's kind sentiment. She started to tell her granddaughter as much, when a thought crossed her mind. She had sentenced Celeborn and Haldir to chores. The twins were supposed to help their mother in the garden, and Rúmil had blown off his chores at home. Legolas was staying with them for a while, since Mirkwood was such a dangerous place and was supposed to check with Celebrían before going anywhere.
Her poor daughter had spent two hours frantically looking for the boy. They had all sneaked off to go fishing. The only reason Galadriel knew this was because one of the guards had seen them leave earlier that morning. She would deal with Celeborn later, but felt Arwen's little gesture was the perfect revenge on the rest of them.
None of them would dare seek retribution from Arwen if Galadriel, herself, got involved. This was too enchanting an opportunity to pass up.
"That is a wonderful idea, Arwen. I will help you in any way I can." She set her needlepoint aside and stood. "Let us go, so I may see this pigsty for myself."
Arwen accepted her grandmother's hand and led her from the room.
*~*
Celeborn and the boys sat along the banks of a small stream beyond the walls of the great city. Celeborn had shunned his more dignified robes in favor of a pair of brown leggings and a forest green tunic. The boys were dressed in similar attire. The sun shined down on the merry party. The air was tepid, for Galadriel did not allow winter to hold sway in the Golden Wood.
"This is the life," Celeborn sighed as he baited the hook on Orophin's fishing pole.
"Sure is," Haldir agreed.
"No stupid girls around to tell us what to do," Elladan added.
"That is a blessing right there," Celeborn agreed with his eldest grandchild. He loved his wife dearly, but sometimes she drove him crazy.
Orophin wisely kept his mouth shut. He was still under the belief that his mother had super hearing and didn't want to get in trouble. He accepted the fishing pole from Celeborn and handed him Hwest's* pole.
"I do not know why you insist on having a fishing pole for that stupid toy," Haldir grumbled. "He cannot use it."
Celeborn reached over and lightly smacked Haldir on the back of his head. "Hush, boy. You will treat your brother with respect, or I will turn you over my knee. Now apologize."
Haldir nodded. "Sorry, Orophin. I am sure Hwest would like to fish as well," he muttered. He knew better than to disobey Celeborn. His glib tongue could not sway the Elf-lord, and Celeborn never made idle threats.
Orophin smiled gratefully at his hero and was rewarded with a wink.
Celeborn carefully baited Hwest's hook and handed the pole back to the little Elfling. He had come to love Orophin dearly and often wished the little Elf were his son.
"There you are."
Celeborn looked up at the deep voice and smiled. Elrond stood behind them. He was dressed in attire similar to Celeborn's and carried a fishing pole.
"Shame on you, Celeborn. Sneaking off to go fishing and not telling me," Elrond admonished his father-in-law.
"Do not blame me for your being left behind. I cannot help it if my daughter watches you closer than cat watches her kits." Celeborn shot back at the dark-haired Elf.
Elrond rolled his eyes. "You should have warned me about that, before I married her."
Celeborn snorted. "You are not married to Galadriel, so do not presume to tell me what I should and should not have done. Now cease your whining. You are scaring off the fish."
Elrond dropped down beside his younger son and baited his hook.
Soon they were all sitting quietly, bonding in that strange and magical way males do.
*~*
Galadriel survey the talan. This would take a miracle and more hands than just hers and Arwen's. She shook her head. "We will need more help, I think. Go to your mother and tell her our plans. Have her come here with my handmaidens."
Arwen nodded gleefully and scurried out of the talan.
Before long Celebrían and Galadriel's two handmaidens, Illis and Marille, entered the talan carrying buckets, rags, brooms, and an assortment of cleaning supplies. They had recruited some of the guards to bring in a large cauldron. The guards made several trips and soon had the cauldron filled with nice hot water.
The females rolled up their sleeves and went to work. It took them a good hour just sweep the ceiling, walls and floor clean of dust and move all of the clutter in the rooms out on the balconies. They recruited several of the guards and it still took them three hours to scrub the talan clean of grime from top to bottom.
The exhausted females stood back and surveyed their handiwork. The silver walls, ceiling and floor gleamed once again. The mirror on the wall shined like new. The talan now smelled clean with a hint of jasmine.
"Now, my sweet," Celebrían turned to her daughter. "What did you have planned for the décor?"
Arwen smiled brightly. "I was thinking pink with white lace. Pink is such a lovely color, and it will look nice against the silver walls."
Galadriel and Celebrían exchanged bemused looks. Neither of them could wait to see the boys' faces, when they returned from their little adventure.
Celebrían planned to give her husband an earful when he got back. While she was out searching for Legolas, he had sneaked off as well.
"I think that is a lovely choice," Galadriel cooed. "Shall we go to the storeroom and pick out some nice furniture?"
Arwen nodded. "That would be wonderful!"
*~*
Celeborn and Elrond led the boys back towards Caras Galadon. The sun was low in the western sky, and it would soon be growing dark.
"Do we have to go back?" Orophin asked nervously from his perch in Celeborn's arms.
"Yes, little one." Celeborn answered. He noted the look of fear on the small Elf's face. "What is wrong, Orophin?"
"We are going to be in trouble," Orophin said. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He was desperately trying not to cry, because Haldir would tease him about it. He knew that his mother was going to be very cross with him and his brothers. He suddenly wished he hadn't come fishing.
"Hush, little one," Celeborn murmured. "I shall tell your mother that I Elfnapped you. I shall take the blame, never fear."
Orophin nodded with relief. Lord Celeborn always took care of him.
They hadn't gotten very far, when on of the city guards approached them.
"My Lords," The guard greeted Celeborn and Elrond formally. "The Lady Galadriel requests your presence at the little ones' clubhouse."
"Thank you," Celeborn replied. He and Elrond exchanged nervous glances. They had expected a confrontation, but not at the children's clubhouse.
*~*
They found Galadriel, Celebrían, and Arwen waiting on the front balcony of the talan. All three females had large grins on their faces. Arwen was fairly bubbling with excitement.
"Did you enjoy your day fishing, husband?" Galadriel asked Celeborn in a sweet tone.
Celeborn was instantly on guard. "Yes," he said warily.
Galadriel just smiled.
"What about you, my dear," Celebrían asked Elrond.
"I.it was quite refreshing," Elrond answered. He had a bad feeling.
"Your mother has been looking for you and your brother all day, Haldir. It seems you neglected to tell her your plans for the day. It also seems that you have forgotten that you are still under my edict to help weed the gardens."
Haldir swallowed visibly.
Rúmil went pale.
"I was Elfnapped," Orophin cried. He clutched Hwest tighter to chest and looked up at Celeborn.
Celeborn squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Orophin is not to blame, my dear. I made him come with us."
Galadriel raised one eyebrow at the blatant lie, but said nothing. Orophin was a sweet-tempered young Elf and completely devoted to Celeborn. He would have followed her husband to Sauron's front gate.
"I suppose you three have a good excuse?" Celebrían asked the twins and Legolas.
They suddenly found their shoes very interesting and refused to look her in the eye.
"Well, while you were all out lazing the day away, Arwen has worked very hard on a surprise for you," Celebrían said.
All the boys looked at Arwen in surprise. They had expected to be yelled at and punished, not given a surprise.
"Thank you, Arwen," Haldir said. He sent her a beautiful smile that little up his little face.
"Yes, thank you, Arwen," the other boys echoed.
Elrond and Celeborn exchanged glances once again. Their wives were positively beaming, and this could not bode well.
"I just know you will love it," Arwen gushed. "Mother and Grandmother helped me and deserve credit as well."
The three females stepped aside to reveal the entrance to the talan. A light pink curtain hung across the doorframe, it was edged with white lace.
Haldir made a strange noise and charged past the curtain into the talan. The rest of the boys, except for Orophin, followed suit.
The adults heard a high-pitched keening noise and then a thud. They entered the talan to find Haldir passed out cold on the floor. The twins were holding each other. Legolas was sitting on the floor, muttering. Rúmil's head kept darting about the room as he muttered the word 'pink', over and over again.
The main room of the talan had been completely redecorated. Three panels of pink curtains covered the threshold to the side balcony and to the two other rooms in the talan. Place strategically in front of the side balcony was a white couch and two chairs made of wood and covered with pink cushions. Wood side table were placed between the two chairs and at either end of the couch. They were covered with pink tablecloths trimmed in white lace.
Beyond the suite of furniture stood a large round table with seven chairs placed around it. Pink cushions covered the chairs and the table was covered with a pink tablecloth. A crystal vase of roses stood in the center of the table.
The bookshelves were neatly arranged with little boxes that held the boys' treasures. Galadriel refused to allow Arwen to throw away what she thought was junk. Beautiful tapestries showing Elves walking hand-and-hand through gardens where hung from the walls.
It was the perfect clubhouse - if you were a girl.
*~*
Haldir sat between Rúmil and Elladan pulling weeds. Elrohir and Legolas were pulling weeds three flowerbeds away from them. Celeborn and Elrond were busy trimming some nearby hedges. Orophin followed behind the two adult Elves. He was picking up the dropped trimmings and stuffing them into a large bag.
It would be another two weeks, before they were free of Galadriel's punishment. It would be a lot longer before they were free of the hideous décor of their clubhouse. The Lady had warned them that if they did anything to hurt Arwen's feelings, she would have them mucking out the stables, until all the Elves were recalled to Valinor.
Sometimes, it was tough being a male in a female's world. Haldir and the boys wondered if they would ever survive it.
The End