Chapter 8 ~ Of Geckos and Rumors
By: Liltrick89
Summary: A farce of the GEICO commercials!
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own GEICO. geckos. Hogwarts. or any of that wonderful stuff.
A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner! But here it is the latest edition to 'I'm Too Sexy!' If you see a good commercial you'd like to see a Hogwarts parody on put it in your review and I'll see what I can do okay?
"New DATDA teacher auditions today." Ron announced as he slid into the seat next to Harry in the Great Hall.
"Where?" Harry asked.
"Old classroom. after hours."
"We are _not_ going to spy on the auditions Ron! How could the two of you think of such a thing? We'd be seen for sure!" Hermione burst out glaring at Ron and Harry.
"That would be why we have the invisibility cloak Herm! Aren't you the tiniest bit curious who it's going to be?" Ron replied coolly while giving Harry a look that said 'you in?'
Harry nodded, "Come on it'll be fun!" Hermione only rolled her eyes, muttered something that sounded like boys, and left the table.
"She'll come around." Ron said confidently as he and Harry began making plans.
***
Hermione was halfway to the portrait of the Fat Lady when she was stopped by. "Malfoy" she stated, as she looked the handsome Slytherin straight in the eyes.
"Look Granger I've heard those rumors, the ones about the two of us being an item?" Draco paused as his glare narrowed, "Sore trick mudblood, trying to boost your popularity I suppose?"
"Like I'd spread them! I can't believe you even thought I'd do that! Honestly Malfoy, I knew you had little brain." Hermione trailed off.
"Little Miss Perfect-goody-goody has finally given up on St. Potty and wants a taste of evil. its been used so much the idea is worn out Granger. Just admit it, you like me." Draco said arrogantly. He drew closer to her before sauntering off with Crabbe and Goyle at his heels.
"Honestly!" Hermione muttered as she continued on her not so merry way. She'd show him goody goody.
***
"Glad you decided to tag along 'Mione." Harry said as he slipped the invisibility cloak on himself, Ron, and Hermione.
"Well you can't expect me to let you guys have all the fun."
They headed out of the common room and into the hallway. "Which classroom Ron?" Harry whispered as he activated the Marauders Map.
"3rd floor, 2nd door on the left." Ron recited from memory, smiling proudly.
"It's clear." Harry said, "Filch is in his office with Snape and Mrs. Norris."
"Good, I don't' fancy shinning anymore trophies if we get caught." Ron said shivering at the memory. The rest of the trip was made in silence. When they arrived at the classroom they followed an old wizard with a black and yellow checkered cloak inside.
"Wicked." ((3 guesses as to who said that!))
The room they entered was extremely long and was filled with chairs and tables where a crowd of wizards and witches of all sizes were sitting. Hermione spotted an empty corner and motioned to it.
"There's all sorts of people here! Look there's Brandon Brandish! He was a seeker for the Chudley Canons about 20 years ago. I hope he lands it!" Ron exclaimed excitedly.
"Well I hope the girl beside him gets it.its about time a woman gets the job!" Hermione retorted.
Ron looked at the woman who Hermione had pointed out, a tall blond with sapphire blue eyes. "I change my vote, I hope she gets it too!" he declared with perhaps too much enthusiasm.
"Well maybe not her. I just meant a woman should get the job. but no her. definitely not here!" Hermione said quickly as she examined the room they were in. the trio were standing beside a large mahogany door that seemed to be rather important as most of the witches and wizards in the room were staring at it. She was about to comment on it when Ron began to speak.
"Uh oh there's Lockhart number 2 at 5 o'clock." Ron whispered.
"Lockhart?" Hermione squeaked looking around and as if remembering him for the fraud he was said in a notably less enthusiastic tone, "I uh don't see him. not that I would want to I mean."
"I meant the brown haired git with the sparkly blue robes next to the lizard. the one with the mirror checking out his smile - that's Thomas Crusine. Mum fancies him now - acts in his own plays that star him. hope he doesn't get it." Ron explained glaring at Crusine. Hermione smiled, she hoped he did.
Harry nodded as well, somewhat lost on what Ron had said. "Looks like a Quirrell. 12 o'clock." he said staring at an Oriental man who was wringing his hands nervously and jumping when anyone said hello. The very same lizard that had been next to Crusine had moved over to the 'Quirrell'.
"Oh look there's a-" Hermione started but the large door right next to them opened. the trio anxiously peered inside of it, "That's were the interviews are I bet!" Ron whispered. McGonagall peeked her face out and looked down at a rather large piece of parchment, "Gecko." she read frowning as the green lizard marched over towards her.
"I wonder whos familiar that is. it certainly doesn't like to stay put." Harry whispered as the lizard pass them, "hello." It said as it encountered a Chihuahua in the doorway.
Harry and Ron's eyes opened wide. "I don't think he's a familiar Harry."
Now the Chihuahua opened _its_ mouth - "Oh great a talking gecko."
Hermione began laughing. "What's so funny Herm?" Harry asked attempting to shush her laughter.
"They're not getting the job," she said in between giggles.
"How do you know?" Ron asked a little grumpily, he hated it when Hermione knew something he didn't (unless it was lessons, as that happened frequently).
"It's obvious isn't it? Once great wizards now animals! They aren't very good at defense against the dark arts!"
By: Liltrick89
Summary: A farce of the GEICO commercials!
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own GEICO. geckos. Hogwarts. or any of that wonderful stuff.
A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner! But here it is the latest edition to 'I'm Too Sexy!' If you see a good commercial you'd like to see a Hogwarts parody on put it in your review and I'll see what I can do okay?
"New DATDA teacher auditions today." Ron announced as he slid into the seat next to Harry in the Great Hall.
"Where?" Harry asked.
"Old classroom. after hours."
"We are _not_ going to spy on the auditions Ron! How could the two of you think of such a thing? We'd be seen for sure!" Hermione burst out glaring at Ron and Harry.
"That would be why we have the invisibility cloak Herm! Aren't you the tiniest bit curious who it's going to be?" Ron replied coolly while giving Harry a look that said 'you in?'
Harry nodded, "Come on it'll be fun!" Hermione only rolled her eyes, muttered something that sounded like boys, and left the table.
"She'll come around." Ron said confidently as he and Harry began making plans.
***
Hermione was halfway to the portrait of the Fat Lady when she was stopped by. "Malfoy" she stated, as she looked the handsome Slytherin straight in the eyes.
"Look Granger I've heard those rumors, the ones about the two of us being an item?" Draco paused as his glare narrowed, "Sore trick mudblood, trying to boost your popularity I suppose?"
"Like I'd spread them! I can't believe you even thought I'd do that! Honestly Malfoy, I knew you had little brain." Hermione trailed off.
"Little Miss Perfect-goody-goody has finally given up on St. Potty and wants a taste of evil. its been used so much the idea is worn out Granger. Just admit it, you like me." Draco said arrogantly. He drew closer to her before sauntering off with Crabbe and Goyle at his heels.
"Honestly!" Hermione muttered as she continued on her not so merry way. She'd show him goody goody.
***
"Glad you decided to tag along 'Mione." Harry said as he slipped the invisibility cloak on himself, Ron, and Hermione.
"Well you can't expect me to let you guys have all the fun."
They headed out of the common room and into the hallway. "Which classroom Ron?" Harry whispered as he activated the Marauders Map.
"3rd floor, 2nd door on the left." Ron recited from memory, smiling proudly.
"It's clear." Harry said, "Filch is in his office with Snape and Mrs. Norris."
"Good, I don't' fancy shinning anymore trophies if we get caught." Ron said shivering at the memory. The rest of the trip was made in silence. When they arrived at the classroom they followed an old wizard with a black and yellow checkered cloak inside.
"Wicked." ((3 guesses as to who said that!))
The room they entered was extremely long and was filled with chairs and tables where a crowd of wizards and witches of all sizes were sitting. Hermione spotted an empty corner and motioned to it.
"There's all sorts of people here! Look there's Brandon Brandish! He was a seeker for the Chudley Canons about 20 years ago. I hope he lands it!" Ron exclaimed excitedly.
"Well I hope the girl beside him gets it.its about time a woman gets the job!" Hermione retorted.
Ron looked at the woman who Hermione had pointed out, a tall blond with sapphire blue eyes. "I change my vote, I hope she gets it too!" he declared with perhaps too much enthusiasm.
"Well maybe not her. I just meant a woman should get the job. but no her. definitely not here!" Hermione said quickly as she examined the room they were in. the trio were standing beside a large mahogany door that seemed to be rather important as most of the witches and wizards in the room were staring at it. She was about to comment on it when Ron began to speak.
"Uh oh there's Lockhart number 2 at 5 o'clock." Ron whispered.
"Lockhart?" Hermione squeaked looking around and as if remembering him for the fraud he was said in a notably less enthusiastic tone, "I uh don't see him. not that I would want to I mean."
"I meant the brown haired git with the sparkly blue robes next to the lizard. the one with the mirror checking out his smile - that's Thomas Crusine. Mum fancies him now - acts in his own plays that star him. hope he doesn't get it." Ron explained glaring at Crusine. Hermione smiled, she hoped he did.
Harry nodded as well, somewhat lost on what Ron had said. "Looks like a Quirrell. 12 o'clock." he said staring at an Oriental man who was wringing his hands nervously and jumping when anyone said hello. The very same lizard that had been next to Crusine had moved over to the 'Quirrell'.
"Oh look there's a-" Hermione started but the large door right next to them opened. the trio anxiously peered inside of it, "That's were the interviews are I bet!" Ron whispered. McGonagall peeked her face out and looked down at a rather large piece of parchment, "Gecko." she read frowning as the green lizard marched over towards her.
"I wonder whos familiar that is. it certainly doesn't like to stay put." Harry whispered as the lizard pass them, "hello." It said as it encountered a Chihuahua in the doorway.
Harry and Ron's eyes opened wide. "I don't think he's a familiar Harry."
Now the Chihuahua opened _its_ mouth - "Oh great a talking gecko."
Hermione began laughing. "What's so funny Herm?" Harry asked attempting to shush her laughter.
"They're not getting the job," she said in between giggles.
"How do you know?" Ron asked a little grumpily, he hated it when Hermione knew something he didn't (unless it was lessons, as that happened frequently).
"It's obvious isn't it? Once great wizards now animals! They aren't very good at defense against the dark arts!"