*Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, the folktale Rapunzel, The Wizard of
Oz, or Raiders of the Lost Ark. So don't tell me you thought I did! ^-^
And I promise not to sell this and make boo coos of money off it.*
Chapter 3 Two hours later
"So you can't just explain to your boss that I had no money?"
"No," Heero said for the millionth time.
"That I ran away?"
"No."
"That I had a massive seizure and-"
"No."
"Crud."
"If you'd like, I can make you experience something close to a seizure," Heero suggested with a little more emotion than previously- an emotion that seemed scarily like. . . anticipation? Hmm. . . Duo decided not to push it.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do," Duo said. He waited for a "What?" but all he got was silence from the seemingly disinterested young man.
"Yeah, okay," he began, feeling a little embarrassed as he readjusted himself and sat up a little straighter against Deathscythe. "I was thinking that since we have no money and skinny witch woman does, all we have to do is lay a trap for her when she comes back, take her dough, split it appropriately and fly outta here."
"Hn," Heero said in what seemed like approval as he smoothed dirt over the scrawling he had just made with a twig and began to sketch something new. Duo couldn't tell what he had been drawing, but it looked kind of like an upside down incendiary device.
"Uhh, whatcha doin' now?" he asked.
"I need a full tour of the house and a list of items we can use in creating the trap. Which door does she usually enter by?" Duo now saw that Heero was sketching the castle! In the dirt. . . and from an angle, it really looked like a bomb. 'Weird kid, this one,' Duo thought.
"Uh, the front one," he answered.
"Okay. And when will she return?"
Duo paused to think.
"What day is it?" he asked.
"Tuesday the 21st."
"Okay, that gives us. . ." he counted on his fingers, "five days to prepare. This'll be no sweat!"
Heero put the twig down and sat back against the hemlock behind him.
"I have to be back at work in four days or I stop getting paid."
"That stinks! Why four days?"
"That's the travel time from HQ to here, with sleeping and eating breaks. If we skip sleeping and eat takeout, we can make it in two and a half days."
"Ah." Duo twiddled his thumbs for a minute. Then he asked, "how long does it take to get from here to Emerald City?"
"About a day and a half. With breaks."
"Okay. And from there to your HQ?"
"Two and a half days. I flew over the City on the way here."
"Great! See, that's where witch face went! So, we fly over to the green place, steal some of her money and send you on your way back to work! No problem!" he said giving his idea two thumbs up.
"But she'll be on the road soon to get back by her desired date. We would run into her on the way, and the forest would be a dangerous place to hide."
"No no no. She's rich, remember? She goes by private jet."
"Oh," Heero acknowledged and remembered the open field on the other side of the castle. It could be used as a runway. Strange that he hadn't seen any tracks from the jet taking off- unless she had used her magic to keep her yard nice. That was probably it.
"Well, robbing her in the City could work," Heero said, "but we'll have to leave soon. You can tell me about her on the way so we can formulate a plan."
'Who uses words like formulate?' Duo wondered, but said,
"Okey dokey! Let's go!" Duo ran to the other end of the castle yard and took a saddle and reins from the stable to fasten to Deathscythe's back. Just as he was about to hop on, an 'eep' popped out of his mouth.
"Eep!" Duo eeped. "I just thought of something! Be right back!" Heero just sighed, hoping the braided boy didn't take too long doing whatever it was that had just occurred to him.
After a bathroom trip and after relieving Dorothy's kitchen of most of its non-perishables, Duo stopped by the TV, unplugged the cable box and descrambler and gently threw them into the backpack he had found in the hall closet. He hadn't seen any sign of his personal effects when he had looked for them during his search for the witch's money. It didn't matter too much- a Cinq Army knife and a yo-yo could be easily replaced. He wondered for a moment at the irony- a CINQ army knife. He couldn't remember the Cinq ever fighting in a war, even to defend itself. . . Ah, well. Just one of those things that didn't make sense, like "military intelligence" or yogurt in a tube. What was up with that stuff, anyway?
"Dratted witch probably sold my stuff. . ." Duo grumbled as he left the castle, purloining a few other items on his way out the back door.
"Hey, Heero! I got some good stuff here!" he called to the solemn boy seated atop the reddish-white dragon.
Heero's eyes almost widened as he thought of something- Was THAT why this kid acted so screwed up?
"See? Apples and bananas! And a peppercorn cracker (don't care too much for that myself, but it ain't moldy, at least), some weird jelly looking stuff called ca-vi-ar," he sounded out, "and some other random stuff." He continued fishing thru the bag to count his goodies.
"Oh," Heero said. That hadn't been what he was expecting, but even though it didn't explain anything, it was much more useful.
"And check it out! Cable boxes! We can sell these later and buy some real food, like cheese doodles and popcorn. And maybe a steak. I like steak," he rambled as he climbed onto Deathscythe's scaly spine.
"Are you sure you won't fall off with all of that on your back?" Heero asked.
"Uh. . ." Duo glanced down. "Now that you mention it, this bag might mess up my balance." He didn't mention that he hadn't flown on a dragon since he was seven, when he stole the neighbors' and took him out for a spin. So, Heero was a nice boy and took half the contents of Duo's knapsack.
And then, they were off!
Things went smoothly for a while. Duo followed behind Heero and both boys simply enjoyed the feeling of freedom, while occasionally glancing down at the trail of yellow brick that marked their path. Out in the country there was no traffic so they had the skies to themselves.
Until the storm came.
A thick, dark mass of vaporized dihydrogen monoxide rolled in suddenly, releasing torrents of rain and sending leaves, then broken branches, and finally trees, flying.
Duo and Heero quickly landed and sought refuge in a nearby cave.
"This sure throws a very wet and nasty wrench into our plans," Duo muttered, squeezing the water out of his braid.
"There's nothing we can do but wait out the storm," Heero stated.
"Ugh," Duo moaned and flopped onto the dirty stone floor.
Heero stopped wringing out his socks for a moment and wrinkled his nose.
"What's with you?" Duo asked from his prostrate position.
"Something smells bad."
Duo sniffed the air.
"I don't smell anything," he said with a shrug. "Maybe it's wet dragon and I don't smell it because I'm used to it."
"Maybe it's wet YOU," Heero suggested. Duo smelled his arm.
"No, I don't smell bad." Heero glared and began to walk towards Duo.
"Hey man, what's with that look?" He began to scoot away from the devilish looking delivery boy.
"Uh, heh heh, you want somethin' Heero buddy?"
"Yes," Heero stated. He then picked Duo up by his collar and the waist of his pants, dragged him to the mouth of the cave and threw him out into the rain.
"I want you to take a shower."
"Now just a cotton pickin' minute here, Mr. Moody Pants!" Duo didn't bother to finish, because the cave entry was now blocked by a very large, shimmery scaled face, complete with protruding fangs.
"Uh, hey there Wing Zero," Duo stammered. Zero gave him the same glare that his pilot had and settled down to catch a few winks.
"Uh, Deathscythe?" Duo called. "It's kinda cold out here and it feels like this rain might turn into sleet at any second. . ."
"If it does, we'll let you back in," Heero called.
"But I want back in NOW!" Duo whined.
"No."
"DEATHSCYTHE!!! HELP ME!!!"
Deathscythe raised his head over Zero's back and gave Duo a sympathetic look, but did nothing about his friend's predicament.
"Aw, c'mon man! It's really cold out here!" Duo said, rubbing his arms in a pointless attempt to get warm.
"If I had to guess, I'd say Deathscythe doesn't care for the way you smell, either," Duo heard Heero say.
"NOT FUNNY!"
"I didn't say it was. You couldn't have brought some shampoo with you, could you?"
"Why would I?"
"Of course. Why would you not want to smell like a sewer rat?"
"I'm really beginning to not like you." Duo stated.
"Catch," Heero's voice said and a plastic bottle with amber liquid flew over Wing Zero's body. Duo caught the shampoo and stared at it for a second.
"As soon as you wash your hair, you can come back in."
"Do you have any idea how long that's going to take???"
Heero shrugged, not caring that Duo did not have X-ray vision to see it.
"Fine, fine," Duo muttered. "I'll wash it. But don't complain if I use it all!"
"Just get clean."
"'Just get clean,'" Duo mocked in a squeaky tone. "'Just get clean.' What are you, my mother?"
"Thank God, no. Now stop whining. I'm trying to relax."
Duo's blood began to boil, but it still wasn't enough to keep him warm. So, he flipped open the lid and poured some shampoo onto his palm.
When Duo had finally managed to get his knotted mass of hair ungunked, he begged readmittance to the cave. Wing Zero shifted to allow Duo to enter.
"Guess I ought to say thanks, but I don't really feel inclined," Duo said rudely to the dragon. So what if he bit him for it? Duo was too numb to feel anything at the moment. However, the dragon was not in the mood to care what the strange human said. He finally didn't stink, and that was all that mattered.
Duo was delighted to see that the delivery boy had found some dry wood in the cave and had built a small fire. For this reason only, Duo put off pestering him and got to work making his goose bumps disappear.
"So," Duo said after a while. He had been silently combing the kinks out of his hair which flowed every which way on the floor and embarrassed him to no end. "Why don'tcha tell me a little somthin' about yourself? Like, for instance, what's wrong with you that you make people stand in the frickin' freezing rain?"
"It isn't freezing," Heero deadpanned. "It's at least forty-one degrees out there, maybe forty-two."
"Oh, you suck."
Heero shrugged.
"But you're not getting out of telling me about you. Go on. Talk," Duo insisted.
Heero did not obey, but it was not from a lack of desire to make conversation. Talking wasn't so bad sometimes (sometimes. . .) and being a delivery boy did get lonely. Unfortunately, Heero could not think of a single thing to say about himself.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"I told you! Talk about yourself."
"There isn't much to say in that area."
"Geez, are you really so boring?" Duo asked rudely.
"I don't have to take this," Heero said with a glare.
"No. You're free to go outside if you don't like the company in here."
Fortunately, Duo sat on the opposite side of the campfire as Heero, so if he tried that throwing him in the rain stunt again, Duo would see it coming.
Heero grunted.
"Where'd you learn to make that sound?" Duo asked.
"My father did it."
"Really? What was your dad like?"
Heero shrugged.
"Okay, I guess. He died when I was young."
"Hey, there's a similarity between us!" Duo said delightedly.
"You're happy about our fathers being dead?" a confused Heero asked.
"No! Not about that. It's just that we have something in common. And that's better than having absolutely nothing in common."
"Why?" Heero asked.
Now Duo grunted.
"You are hopeless, man. You'd think YOU were the one locked in a tower and never allowed contact with the outside world."
"I was, too," Heero said before his rational side could stop him.
"Eh?"
"Well, metaphorically speaking. There's not much in life for a lowly delivery boy."
"Ah," was Duo's only response. He waited for Heero to continue, but as he wasn't about to, Duo decided to leave it be- for now.
"Okay, well, g'night, Heero buddy."
"Good night."
***
The next morning, the storm was gone but Duo woke with a bit of a sniffle.
"ACHOO!" he sneezed. "Aw, man, now that is gross."
Heero grimaced.
"Must you share everything about your life?"
"You could be a little helpful," Duo suggested and began to root through his bag for a box of tissues.
"Don't tell me I didn't bring any Kleenex," he muttered.
Heero quickly found his and tossed Duo the box.
"Ah, so you are good for something!"
Heero scowled.
"Oh, don't look at me like that," Duo said as he wiped his nose. "This nose ain't runnin' for fun. This is YOUR fault."
"Why is it my fault?"
"BECAUSE YOU MADE ME GO OUT IN THE FREEZING RAIN!"
"I told you, it wasn't freezing."
Duo gave him a look that showed he was seriously questioning the spandex clad boy's sanity.
"But wait- if a little rain can make you sick, how did you survive in that tower?" Heero questioned.
"It wasn't a LITTLE rain, that's how, you moronic weirdo!"
"Oh," he said, ignoring the offensiveness of Duo's comment. "But I've been in wet weather colder than that."
"Well, excuuuse me for being a mere mortal!" Duo sneezed again and blew his nose.
'Oh!' Heero thought as his inner voice exclaimed, 'You idiot. You forgot everyone doesn't have delivery boy powers!'
'Oh yeah,' Heero muttered silently.
"Man, this stinks. This isn't supposed to happen! I've never gotten sick before!" Duo whined.
"It's all in your head. You're sick because you're feeling sorry for yourself," Heero explained.
"Where'd you come up with that, Dr. Quack?"
"You never get sick, but now you are. You're just in a bad mood and that's why."
"And that couldn't be YOUR fault, too?"
"I don't know. All I know is if I were in your shoes, I'd be a little more grateful."
Duo wanted to remark about how stupid he found Heero's logic, but he did have one point- Duo was free! He shouldn't let a messed up delivery boy ruin his happiness.
"We'd better eat breakfast on the way," Heero said. He and Duo packed up their sleeping bags and mounted the dragons, who, unlike their riders, were getting along perfectly.
***
A few hours later, they ran into more trouble.
"Ugh. . ." Duo ughed. "You don't happen to have another box of Kleenex, do ya?"
"No," Heero answered from Wing Zero's back.
"That's very bad. Very, very bad. I'm almost out."
"Can't you recycle?"
"And you said I was gross!"
"We lost too many hours because of the storm. I don't want to have to stop again."
"If we don't stop, I'm stealing your shirt for a tissue."
"Just try it."
"I will!"
Heero sighed. Wasting time fighting atop airborne dragons was not a good idea. Maybe he had better just stop at the next convenience store and pick up a few more tissue boxes.
The next rest stop they came to had a quaint looking restaurant and Duo insisted they go in.
"We have food," Heero pointed out, "and no time to eat on the ground."
"Just one burger! Pleeease, I haven't had one in sooo long! I eat quick, I promise!"
Heero relented and they left the dragons in the parking lot down the street. Inside the restaurant, a young woman was serving beer to her patrons. Duo's jaw hit the floor when he saw her.
"How do I look?" he asked Heero, not once taking his eyes off the pretty, spunky barmaid.
"Awful."
"Better than yesterday?"
"You smell better."
"I'll take what I can get," he said, and made his way over to an empty stool. Heero followed and hoped they wouldn't be there all day.
"What can I get ya?" the raven haired girl asked cordially. Instead of ordering his hamburger, Duo blurted out the first thing that came into his head.
"Gosh, you're pretty." The girl smiled. She was used to men calling her attractive, but they usually did it in less. . . polite ways. Scandalous ways, in fact.
"Thank you," she said and intended to ask him again what he wanted to drink and if he wanted an appetizer, but instead she asked him for his name.
"Rapunzel," Duo replied and stuck his chest out a little.
"Is that a nickname?" the girl asked.
"Technically, yeah. I used to be Duo," he told her.
"I like that. Duo."
"I'll have a lemon lime soda," Heero said. Duo could have killed him, but that probably wouldn't have made the girl like him very much.
"Sure," she said, remembering her job. "Is Emerald Mist okay?"
"Yeah."
"And," she said, blushing as she faced Duo, "what would you like to drink?"
The rumbling in Duo's stomach reminded him that there was something he wanted more than to kiss the waitress. Food.
"I'll have a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake. And a box of Kleenex, if you've got one."
She handed him a box from under the counter and told him it was on the house.
Duo thanked the pretty lady.
"Thanks, pretty lady."
Heero wanted to barf.
Duo watched the girl's every move as she placed the order at the window to the kitchen and served them their drinks. He had been so distracted by watching what she was doing and counting the number of times that she glanced at him that he forgot to read her name tag. Heero told him that it had said, "Hilde."
"Hilde. . . that's so pretty. She's so pretty," he said, sounding completely out of it.
"I guess I ought to be tolerant of this puppy love, seeing as how you haven't seen a girl other than the witch Dorothy in years."
"Oh, don't remind me of her. I just want to watch Hilde." He said her name slowly, enjoying how nice it sounded. "Man. . . she can lock me in her tower any time she wants to. Whaddaya say, Heero? You do think she's cute, right?"
But Heero wasn't listening. His attention had been stolen by a suspicious looking customer around the corner of the bar.
"Fraulein," the man said, beckoning Hilde to him.
"Nasty old pervert," Duo said. "He's way too old for her. He must be like, thirty!"
"Does there seem something odd about him to you?"
"Yeah, he's hitting on my future girl."
"Other than that. That shifty look. He's up to something," Heero said.
For the first time since entering the restaurant, Duo took his eyes off of his charming angel.
"Don't tell me you're a spy, too! Heero. . . something. Obnoxiously mild mannered delivery boy by day, still obnoxious secret agent by night."
Heero might have replied -then again, he might have just ignored Duo- but he heard an angry female voice yelling. Duo flipped his head to see Hilde, smacking Heero's back with the long, looped braid.
"You will give it to me, Fraulein," the man said.
"That's perverted!" she exclaimed and tried to twist her arm away from him.
"You know that isn't what I meant; however, if you do not comply with my wishes, you may have to worry about that."
Hilde swiped a knife from the bar and jabbed it into the man's arm. He snarled and grasped a few napkins from the silver dispenser to place over the wound. Duo cheered for Hilde as he hopped over the bar to stand by her side. He liked her feistiness, but he wouldn't mind being her hero.
"Yee haw! That's what you get for being a nasty old man!" Duo exclaimed and put an arm around Hilde's shoulder.
"Duo, look out!" Heero said. The man was pulling a gun from his jacket with his good arm.
"Eep!" Duo eeped and pulled Hilde below counter level. Heero had already drawn his own gun and as soon as Duo and Hilde were out of the way, he shot the gun from the older man's hand while flying over the bar. It looked extremely cool- except for the hard landing on the other side, but no one could see that, so it didn't matter.
The other folks in the restaurant were clearing out quickly and the kitchen staff was being very quiet. Apparently, pervert guy had back up and they were currently dousing the kitchen with gasoline and pointing large, shiny weapons at the cooks.
"What does he want from you?" Duo asked as Mr. Thirty-something fetched his firearm.
"This," Hilde said, and pulled a pendant on a thin rope from under her shirt. Duo didn't mind the view her action gave him and said,
"No wonder. . . I mean- I wonder why he wants it."
"To control the world."
"Okay. Wait- what?"
"Is there a back way out?" Heero asked.
"Yes," Hilde replied. They heard forceful commands from the direction of the kitchen. "But it's through the kitchen."
"Darn it," Duo muttered. "Well, I guess good ol' Heero can shoot our way out!"
At that moment, flames sprang to life and scaled the kitchen walls.
"Preferably soon," he added.
Chapter 3 Two hours later
"So you can't just explain to your boss that I had no money?"
"No," Heero said for the millionth time.
"That I ran away?"
"No."
"That I had a massive seizure and-"
"No."
"Crud."
"If you'd like, I can make you experience something close to a seizure," Heero suggested with a little more emotion than previously- an emotion that seemed scarily like. . . anticipation? Hmm. . . Duo decided not to push it.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do," Duo said. He waited for a "What?" but all he got was silence from the seemingly disinterested young man.
"Yeah, okay," he began, feeling a little embarrassed as he readjusted himself and sat up a little straighter against Deathscythe. "I was thinking that since we have no money and skinny witch woman does, all we have to do is lay a trap for her when she comes back, take her dough, split it appropriately and fly outta here."
"Hn," Heero said in what seemed like approval as he smoothed dirt over the scrawling he had just made with a twig and began to sketch something new. Duo couldn't tell what he had been drawing, but it looked kind of like an upside down incendiary device.
"Uhh, whatcha doin' now?" he asked.
"I need a full tour of the house and a list of items we can use in creating the trap. Which door does she usually enter by?" Duo now saw that Heero was sketching the castle! In the dirt. . . and from an angle, it really looked like a bomb. 'Weird kid, this one,' Duo thought.
"Uh, the front one," he answered.
"Okay. And when will she return?"
Duo paused to think.
"What day is it?" he asked.
"Tuesday the 21st."
"Okay, that gives us. . ." he counted on his fingers, "five days to prepare. This'll be no sweat!"
Heero put the twig down and sat back against the hemlock behind him.
"I have to be back at work in four days or I stop getting paid."
"That stinks! Why four days?"
"That's the travel time from HQ to here, with sleeping and eating breaks. If we skip sleeping and eat takeout, we can make it in two and a half days."
"Ah." Duo twiddled his thumbs for a minute. Then he asked, "how long does it take to get from here to Emerald City?"
"About a day and a half. With breaks."
"Okay. And from there to your HQ?"
"Two and a half days. I flew over the City on the way here."
"Great! See, that's where witch face went! So, we fly over to the green place, steal some of her money and send you on your way back to work! No problem!" he said giving his idea two thumbs up.
"But she'll be on the road soon to get back by her desired date. We would run into her on the way, and the forest would be a dangerous place to hide."
"No no no. She's rich, remember? She goes by private jet."
"Oh," Heero acknowledged and remembered the open field on the other side of the castle. It could be used as a runway. Strange that he hadn't seen any tracks from the jet taking off- unless she had used her magic to keep her yard nice. That was probably it.
"Well, robbing her in the City could work," Heero said, "but we'll have to leave soon. You can tell me about her on the way so we can formulate a plan."
'Who uses words like formulate?' Duo wondered, but said,
"Okey dokey! Let's go!" Duo ran to the other end of the castle yard and took a saddle and reins from the stable to fasten to Deathscythe's back. Just as he was about to hop on, an 'eep' popped out of his mouth.
"Eep!" Duo eeped. "I just thought of something! Be right back!" Heero just sighed, hoping the braided boy didn't take too long doing whatever it was that had just occurred to him.
After a bathroom trip and after relieving Dorothy's kitchen of most of its non-perishables, Duo stopped by the TV, unplugged the cable box and descrambler and gently threw them into the backpack he had found in the hall closet. He hadn't seen any sign of his personal effects when he had looked for them during his search for the witch's money. It didn't matter too much- a Cinq Army knife and a yo-yo could be easily replaced. He wondered for a moment at the irony- a CINQ army knife. He couldn't remember the Cinq ever fighting in a war, even to defend itself. . . Ah, well. Just one of those things that didn't make sense, like "military intelligence" or yogurt in a tube. What was up with that stuff, anyway?
"Dratted witch probably sold my stuff. . ." Duo grumbled as he left the castle, purloining a few other items on his way out the back door.
"Hey, Heero! I got some good stuff here!" he called to the solemn boy seated atop the reddish-white dragon.
Heero's eyes almost widened as he thought of something- Was THAT why this kid acted so screwed up?
"See? Apples and bananas! And a peppercorn cracker (don't care too much for that myself, but it ain't moldy, at least), some weird jelly looking stuff called ca-vi-ar," he sounded out, "and some other random stuff." He continued fishing thru the bag to count his goodies.
"Oh," Heero said. That hadn't been what he was expecting, but even though it didn't explain anything, it was much more useful.
"And check it out! Cable boxes! We can sell these later and buy some real food, like cheese doodles and popcorn. And maybe a steak. I like steak," he rambled as he climbed onto Deathscythe's scaly spine.
"Are you sure you won't fall off with all of that on your back?" Heero asked.
"Uh. . ." Duo glanced down. "Now that you mention it, this bag might mess up my balance." He didn't mention that he hadn't flown on a dragon since he was seven, when he stole the neighbors' and took him out for a spin. So, Heero was a nice boy and took half the contents of Duo's knapsack.
And then, they were off!
Things went smoothly for a while. Duo followed behind Heero and both boys simply enjoyed the feeling of freedom, while occasionally glancing down at the trail of yellow brick that marked their path. Out in the country there was no traffic so they had the skies to themselves.
Until the storm came.
A thick, dark mass of vaporized dihydrogen monoxide rolled in suddenly, releasing torrents of rain and sending leaves, then broken branches, and finally trees, flying.
Duo and Heero quickly landed and sought refuge in a nearby cave.
"This sure throws a very wet and nasty wrench into our plans," Duo muttered, squeezing the water out of his braid.
"There's nothing we can do but wait out the storm," Heero stated.
"Ugh," Duo moaned and flopped onto the dirty stone floor.
Heero stopped wringing out his socks for a moment and wrinkled his nose.
"What's with you?" Duo asked from his prostrate position.
"Something smells bad."
Duo sniffed the air.
"I don't smell anything," he said with a shrug. "Maybe it's wet dragon and I don't smell it because I'm used to it."
"Maybe it's wet YOU," Heero suggested. Duo smelled his arm.
"No, I don't smell bad." Heero glared and began to walk towards Duo.
"Hey man, what's with that look?" He began to scoot away from the devilish looking delivery boy.
"Uh, heh heh, you want somethin' Heero buddy?"
"Yes," Heero stated. He then picked Duo up by his collar and the waist of his pants, dragged him to the mouth of the cave and threw him out into the rain.
"I want you to take a shower."
"Now just a cotton pickin' minute here, Mr. Moody Pants!" Duo didn't bother to finish, because the cave entry was now blocked by a very large, shimmery scaled face, complete with protruding fangs.
"Uh, hey there Wing Zero," Duo stammered. Zero gave him the same glare that his pilot had and settled down to catch a few winks.
"Uh, Deathscythe?" Duo called. "It's kinda cold out here and it feels like this rain might turn into sleet at any second. . ."
"If it does, we'll let you back in," Heero called.
"But I want back in NOW!" Duo whined.
"No."
"DEATHSCYTHE!!! HELP ME!!!"
Deathscythe raised his head over Zero's back and gave Duo a sympathetic look, but did nothing about his friend's predicament.
"Aw, c'mon man! It's really cold out here!" Duo said, rubbing his arms in a pointless attempt to get warm.
"If I had to guess, I'd say Deathscythe doesn't care for the way you smell, either," Duo heard Heero say.
"NOT FUNNY!"
"I didn't say it was. You couldn't have brought some shampoo with you, could you?"
"Why would I?"
"Of course. Why would you not want to smell like a sewer rat?"
"I'm really beginning to not like you." Duo stated.
"Catch," Heero's voice said and a plastic bottle with amber liquid flew over Wing Zero's body. Duo caught the shampoo and stared at it for a second.
"As soon as you wash your hair, you can come back in."
"Do you have any idea how long that's going to take???"
Heero shrugged, not caring that Duo did not have X-ray vision to see it.
"Fine, fine," Duo muttered. "I'll wash it. But don't complain if I use it all!"
"Just get clean."
"'Just get clean,'" Duo mocked in a squeaky tone. "'Just get clean.' What are you, my mother?"
"Thank God, no. Now stop whining. I'm trying to relax."
Duo's blood began to boil, but it still wasn't enough to keep him warm. So, he flipped open the lid and poured some shampoo onto his palm.
When Duo had finally managed to get his knotted mass of hair ungunked, he begged readmittance to the cave. Wing Zero shifted to allow Duo to enter.
"Guess I ought to say thanks, but I don't really feel inclined," Duo said rudely to the dragon. So what if he bit him for it? Duo was too numb to feel anything at the moment. However, the dragon was not in the mood to care what the strange human said. He finally didn't stink, and that was all that mattered.
Duo was delighted to see that the delivery boy had found some dry wood in the cave and had built a small fire. For this reason only, Duo put off pestering him and got to work making his goose bumps disappear.
"So," Duo said after a while. He had been silently combing the kinks out of his hair which flowed every which way on the floor and embarrassed him to no end. "Why don'tcha tell me a little somthin' about yourself? Like, for instance, what's wrong with you that you make people stand in the frickin' freezing rain?"
"It isn't freezing," Heero deadpanned. "It's at least forty-one degrees out there, maybe forty-two."
"Oh, you suck."
Heero shrugged.
"But you're not getting out of telling me about you. Go on. Talk," Duo insisted.
Heero did not obey, but it was not from a lack of desire to make conversation. Talking wasn't so bad sometimes (sometimes. . .) and being a delivery boy did get lonely. Unfortunately, Heero could not think of a single thing to say about himself.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"I told you! Talk about yourself."
"There isn't much to say in that area."
"Geez, are you really so boring?" Duo asked rudely.
"I don't have to take this," Heero said with a glare.
"No. You're free to go outside if you don't like the company in here."
Fortunately, Duo sat on the opposite side of the campfire as Heero, so if he tried that throwing him in the rain stunt again, Duo would see it coming.
Heero grunted.
"Where'd you learn to make that sound?" Duo asked.
"My father did it."
"Really? What was your dad like?"
Heero shrugged.
"Okay, I guess. He died when I was young."
"Hey, there's a similarity between us!" Duo said delightedly.
"You're happy about our fathers being dead?" a confused Heero asked.
"No! Not about that. It's just that we have something in common. And that's better than having absolutely nothing in common."
"Why?" Heero asked.
Now Duo grunted.
"You are hopeless, man. You'd think YOU were the one locked in a tower and never allowed contact with the outside world."
"I was, too," Heero said before his rational side could stop him.
"Eh?"
"Well, metaphorically speaking. There's not much in life for a lowly delivery boy."
"Ah," was Duo's only response. He waited for Heero to continue, but as he wasn't about to, Duo decided to leave it be- for now.
"Okay, well, g'night, Heero buddy."
"Good night."
***
The next morning, the storm was gone but Duo woke with a bit of a sniffle.
"ACHOO!" he sneezed. "Aw, man, now that is gross."
Heero grimaced.
"Must you share everything about your life?"
"You could be a little helpful," Duo suggested and began to root through his bag for a box of tissues.
"Don't tell me I didn't bring any Kleenex," he muttered.
Heero quickly found his and tossed Duo the box.
"Ah, so you are good for something!"
Heero scowled.
"Oh, don't look at me like that," Duo said as he wiped his nose. "This nose ain't runnin' for fun. This is YOUR fault."
"Why is it my fault?"
"BECAUSE YOU MADE ME GO OUT IN THE FREEZING RAIN!"
"I told you, it wasn't freezing."
Duo gave him a look that showed he was seriously questioning the spandex clad boy's sanity.
"But wait- if a little rain can make you sick, how did you survive in that tower?" Heero questioned.
"It wasn't a LITTLE rain, that's how, you moronic weirdo!"
"Oh," he said, ignoring the offensiveness of Duo's comment. "But I've been in wet weather colder than that."
"Well, excuuuse me for being a mere mortal!" Duo sneezed again and blew his nose.
'Oh!' Heero thought as his inner voice exclaimed, 'You idiot. You forgot everyone doesn't have delivery boy powers!'
'Oh yeah,' Heero muttered silently.
"Man, this stinks. This isn't supposed to happen! I've never gotten sick before!" Duo whined.
"It's all in your head. You're sick because you're feeling sorry for yourself," Heero explained.
"Where'd you come up with that, Dr. Quack?"
"You never get sick, but now you are. You're just in a bad mood and that's why."
"And that couldn't be YOUR fault, too?"
"I don't know. All I know is if I were in your shoes, I'd be a little more grateful."
Duo wanted to remark about how stupid he found Heero's logic, but he did have one point- Duo was free! He shouldn't let a messed up delivery boy ruin his happiness.
"We'd better eat breakfast on the way," Heero said. He and Duo packed up their sleeping bags and mounted the dragons, who, unlike their riders, were getting along perfectly.
***
A few hours later, they ran into more trouble.
"Ugh. . ." Duo ughed. "You don't happen to have another box of Kleenex, do ya?"
"No," Heero answered from Wing Zero's back.
"That's very bad. Very, very bad. I'm almost out."
"Can't you recycle?"
"And you said I was gross!"
"We lost too many hours because of the storm. I don't want to have to stop again."
"If we don't stop, I'm stealing your shirt for a tissue."
"Just try it."
"I will!"
Heero sighed. Wasting time fighting atop airborne dragons was not a good idea. Maybe he had better just stop at the next convenience store and pick up a few more tissue boxes.
The next rest stop they came to had a quaint looking restaurant and Duo insisted they go in.
"We have food," Heero pointed out, "and no time to eat on the ground."
"Just one burger! Pleeease, I haven't had one in sooo long! I eat quick, I promise!"
Heero relented and they left the dragons in the parking lot down the street. Inside the restaurant, a young woman was serving beer to her patrons. Duo's jaw hit the floor when he saw her.
"How do I look?" he asked Heero, not once taking his eyes off the pretty, spunky barmaid.
"Awful."
"Better than yesterday?"
"You smell better."
"I'll take what I can get," he said, and made his way over to an empty stool. Heero followed and hoped they wouldn't be there all day.
"What can I get ya?" the raven haired girl asked cordially. Instead of ordering his hamburger, Duo blurted out the first thing that came into his head.
"Gosh, you're pretty." The girl smiled. She was used to men calling her attractive, but they usually did it in less. . . polite ways. Scandalous ways, in fact.
"Thank you," she said and intended to ask him again what he wanted to drink and if he wanted an appetizer, but instead she asked him for his name.
"Rapunzel," Duo replied and stuck his chest out a little.
"Is that a nickname?" the girl asked.
"Technically, yeah. I used to be Duo," he told her.
"I like that. Duo."
"I'll have a lemon lime soda," Heero said. Duo could have killed him, but that probably wouldn't have made the girl like him very much.
"Sure," she said, remembering her job. "Is Emerald Mist okay?"
"Yeah."
"And," she said, blushing as she faced Duo, "what would you like to drink?"
The rumbling in Duo's stomach reminded him that there was something he wanted more than to kiss the waitress. Food.
"I'll have a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake. And a box of Kleenex, if you've got one."
She handed him a box from under the counter and told him it was on the house.
Duo thanked the pretty lady.
"Thanks, pretty lady."
Heero wanted to barf.
Duo watched the girl's every move as she placed the order at the window to the kitchen and served them their drinks. He had been so distracted by watching what she was doing and counting the number of times that she glanced at him that he forgot to read her name tag. Heero told him that it had said, "Hilde."
"Hilde. . . that's so pretty. She's so pretty," he said, sounding completely out of it.
"I guess I ought to be tolerant of this puppy love, seeing as how you haven't seen a girl other than the witch Dorothy in years."
"Oh, don't remind me of her. I just want to watch Hilde." He said her name slowly, enjoying how nice it sounded. "Man. . . she can lock me in her tower any time she wants to. Whaddaya say, Heero? You do think she's cute, right?"
But Heero wasn't listening. His attention had been stolen by a suspicious looking customer around the corner of the bar.
"Fraulein," the man said, beckoning Hilde to him.
"Nasty old pervert," Duo said. "He's way too old for her. He must be like, thirty!"
"Does there seem something odd about him to you?"
"Yeah, he's hitting on my future girl."
"Other than that. That shifty look. He's up to something," Heero said.
For the first time since entering the restaurant, Duo took his eyes off of his charming angel.
"Don't tell me you're a spy, too! Heero. . . something. Obnoxiously mild mannered delivery boy by day, still obnoxious secret agent by night."
Heero might have replied -then again, he might have just ignored Duo- but he heard an angry female voice yelling. Duo flipped his head to see Hilde, smacking Heero's back with the long, looped braid.
"You will give it to me, Fraulein," the man said.
"That's perverted!" she exclaimed and tried to twist her arm away from him.
"You know that isn't what I meant; however, if you do not comply with my wishes, you may have to worry about that."
Hilde swiped a knife from the bar and jabbed it into the man's arm. He snarled and grasped a few napkins from the silver dispenser to place over the wound. Duo cheered for Hilde as he hopped over the bar to stand by her side. He liked her feistiness, but he wouldn't mind being her hero.
"Yee haw! That's what you get for being a nasty old man!" Duo exclaimed and put an arm around Hilde's shoulder.
"Duo, look out!" Heero said. The man was pulling a gun from his jacket with his good arm.
"Eep!" Duo eeped and pulled Hilde below counter level. Heero had already drawn his own gun and as soon as Duo and Hilde were out of the way, he shot the gun from the older man's hand while flying over the bar. It looked extremely cool- except for the hard landing on the other side, but no one could see that, so it didn't matter.
The other folks in the restaurant were clearing out quickly and the kitchen staff was being very quiet. Apparently, pervert guy had back up and they were currently dousing the kitchen with gasoline and pointing large, shiny weapons at the cooks.
"What does he want from you?" Duo asked as Mr. Thirty-something fetched his firearm.
"This," Hilde said, and pulled a pendant on a thin rope from under her shirt. Duo didn't mind the view her action gave him and said,
"No wonder. . . I mean- I wonder why he wants it."
"To control the world."
"Okay. Wait- what?"
"Is there a back way out?" Heero asked.
"Yes," Hilde replied. They heard forceful commands from the direction of the kitchen. "But it's through the kitchen."
"Darn it," Duo muttered. "Well, I guess good ol' Heero can shoot our way out!"
At that moment, flames sprang to life and scaled the kitchen walls.
"Preferably soon," he added.